First I will start with saying that if these men want such traditional women so desparetly, there are pleanty. Brothers you can get the next pane to Somalia and court a nice beautiful Somali girl who will be more than happy to be the kind of wife you want. But DON'T , for the love of God, try to change women who are not like her. I see nothing wrong with making food for a husband if you happen to have the time or if you get home before him. All these things are not things to be learned but things that come naturally to you when you love a person. However, you guys should remember the ways of our prophet (pbuh), he used to help his wife Aiasha with everything. And you should also remember that he said 'The best of you are those who are best to your wifes'. To Shyhem, I am still singel because I am not ready to committ myself to anyone at the moment, simple as that. There is so much I want to do with my life first. I am not disillusioned with the rosy ideas of marrige and how you can still do 'everything' when you get married. The reality is that there are many sacrefices to be made and I do not want to have resentments or regrets. You have to be willing to give 100% of yourself. Right now I am enjoying being selfish to the bone.

I don't think that university or college have so much to do with it as maturity. I think it's about when you become a person as a whole, as in when you have made firm views about the world and have established who you are. Obviously you change as you grow older and your whole views and attitudes about the world do too. For example you're a differnet person at 19 compared to 21. Changing as a person is inevitable but to an extend. Ii don't think it would be fair to change and do a U-turn on your partner because you have changed as a person and this might create problems for you later on. Plus, marriage isn't just about living together, there are bills to pay, sacrefices to make, other stressful relationships to maintain (eg. in laws). Like we all know, marriage requires a lot of work, you have to be fully ready and prepared for it. I want to do all I can before I settle down (travel etc.), I don't want to have any regrets or any resentment towards my new family and I would want all my experiences to noursih my family. So basically, I don't know how anyone would want all that stress on top of growing up drama , assignments and exams. Let's not foget about the issue of possible children. But then again only you can truly know when you are ready for what. That's my bit.

i think the song would be Savage Garden's 'Truely, Deeply, Madly' i love that song. too bad svage garden have chosen to go their own way. still though there is always Darren Hayes and i love his new solo songs. my serious love affair is with classical music, especially vivaldi , mozart, bethoven, pachabell or when i'm really in the mood for something more dramatic it would have to be Debussy, Schubert or Tychaikovsky. my all time fav being pachabell's Canon in D minor. you have to hear it to understand what i mean. i like avril laigne's whole album. especially 'anything but ordinary' you know the kind of song that you can dance to when you are getting changed after a long day? and u can run around in your underwear around your room, lets not forget aaliya, jaheem, jagged edge etc.

Impressed people. I speak German, English, Somali. Soon to add to the list French/Arabic, I'm working on them but I wouldn't claim to be fluent.

first, i've learned that you have to know you can't solve the world's problems on your own. the one thing that annoys me most is being held responsible for the entire 1 or 2 million somalis in the western world and their actions. people are always telling me as a somali you should do this and do that for your people. or that we should do something about run away teens, bad boys, single mothers, prostitutes, men on jaad 24/7 and generally every ill nature of a somali community. frankly, i don't give a damn. every person is responsible for themselves and every parent is responsible for their child. DON'T get me wrong, i would never walk past any human being that needed my help and especially a somali one at that. there is nothing wrong with being socially aware . BUT, i'm tired of being held responsible for other ppl's actions. i'm tired of this mass hysteria that we are a doomed people. i never hear of people who congratulate on the good things that we have achieved , they may bot be many but they still exist. SECOND, i can't stand it when ppl are jealous of others success and try and bring them down. they can't ever be happy for you, and you all know what i mean because this goes on daily. live and let live.

yes indeed, a very talented somali. people like him really inspire me. i'm really happy and impressed with his success. someone mention that he married a 'white gal'. i think we should stay clear of people's private and personal lifes. we should pat him on the shoulder for all he has achieved.

My advice to you would be to go for it. There is nothing worse than regret. I've been there and danced around the subject for 1 year when he finally (and luckyly)just came out and said it and it was such a relief. The love of my life just happens to be my best friend. I'm not saying it always works out.BUT, if your friendship is strong enough it should last through anything, even a relationship. Good luck sis, and if it wasn't meant to be then it only means that someone else was meant for you that you just haven't met.

I've seen the programme, seriously disturbing. However, I am gald I watched it because I can now do something about it, however little.

It would have to be PASSIONATE

It's not so much what she wrote, it's the way it was written. If she's such an advocate for FGM, why hasnt she written a sequal? Or inteviewd women? Or attend SOmali Communities and educate them? Hmmm...

ok, i'll try but this is just an oppionion! First date: it's not 'really' a date, you're just two good friends having dinner together at a nice dimly lit restuarant. second date: back on the phone, a decision has been made whether she will see you again or not. third date: doesnt happen because someone she knows jumped out of the bush on her way to meeting you. fourth date: test out the brain, argue and discuss anything and everything. fourth date: back at home, you are either getting points on the chart or the phone has stopped ringing fifth date: time to make it public, meet some of her friends sixth date: you're sitting on fadhi carbeed sipping tea with her father (congratlations, you made ut) seventh date: because of the wild wedding, you can no longer afford to go out, and all problems begin now... LOL [This message has been edited by XawoTako (edited 05-19-2002).]

We all disagree with it but there aren't many who are actually doing anything about it. As for Waris Diire's 'Desert Flower', greatly dissapointing. I want my £12 back. No, really, I was expecting some controversial literary master piece, 'and then this happened, and then that'???. I have nothing against what she wrote, I was just annoyed that she was so delusional to think every man with a dick (no matter how old and crinkly, I think her uncle at one point too?) wanted to do her. It was alll me me me. lol@Jaber, extremely sick I must agree.

Many of these alarmist studies (most likely caried out by men) are supposed to scare women into staying permenent housewifes. I think you can have whatever you want if you work hard enough at it. Never let your job become your life.

First of all, God is forgiving. Having said that, I am a Muslim, I am going to marry Muslim, I am expected to be a virgin, so why should I expect anything less? I don't agree with this 'experienced' mentality at all. All you need is a good body, be fit and healthy and have a young creative imagination and all else should follow naturally. That's it for now...

Did you know girl in GERMAN ( Mädchen) is neutral, there fore IT? And a cat is a SHE? LOL

I think one is enough, I don't care what it is. I might adopt a couple too... The reason why there are so many C-sections is that nowerdays there are simply too many Junior doctors (at least in Uk) and when they see the slightest difficulty they operate. Having said that,operation is often life saving , I mean why would you tak the risk? It's just that we Somalis see it as the end of the world. LOL@Jamal...u got big plans boy, How will you remember their birthdays and names? LOL

Well, despite the fact that this issue is getting tiresome... Althought I agree with hibo and Ameena, I think somali women should go to work. I mean 35 year olds plus, (asuming they won't have a prob with someone to look after their kids). I think working makes you a better person in many ways and you won't have so much time to dwell on all the things you are lacking in you life, instead you can plan for the future and look forward with spending time with your fam instead of seeing it as duty or chore.

You must make your mind and soul work in harmony...that's the only way, enrich your mind like you would your soul. p.s. I'm new here too, love the site so far.