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Mr. Somalia
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Everything posted by Mr. Somalia
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Sh. Sharif ... The First President to the White House for 40 years ???
Mr. Somalia replied to Jacaylbaro's topic in Politics
^^^ Qardho? Thaaaaat explains it...you are from Mars! By the by-- did you ever find out what af soomaali lagu dhaho, SHINGLES??? -
Sh. Sharif ... The First President to the White House for 40 years ???
Mr. Somalia replied to Jacaylbaro's topic in Politics
^^^ To Sayid: Atleast Aw Muuse, ikhyaar weeye...laakin adigu cir iyo dhul dhan laguu raaco ma laha. Markii la dagaalayanah waxaa fiican ina dhan loo batto. To Ducaysane: War ninyahow maxaan magacaan ee beenta ah, iigu yeeraysaa?? Kuwii reer Shankaroon oo kale ayaad igu noqotayee...see waaye saaxiib! To Aw Muuse: Awoowe cafis iyo masaamax, waa dambe kuuma caga jugleyn doono ee... -
Sh. Sharif ... The First President to the White House for 40 years ???
Mr. Somalia replied to Jacaylbaro's topic in Politics
^^^ Aw Muuse-- Aniga, I'm stronger than you, ee jooji isku dirka intaana qoor-sagaaro kugu qaban! -
Sh. Sharif ... The First President to the White House for 40 years ???
Mr. Somalia replied to Jacaylbaro's topic in Politics
^^^ I knew the both of you inaad isku xishooneyn... Typical computer screen shield wielding cyber warriors. All tough talk when they're able to hide their identity behind a pc screen. Anyway, I guess we just gonna have to wait for the Admin or Mod to come rescue you from yourselves. -
Sh. Sharif ... The First President to the White House for 40 years ???
Mr. Somalia replied to Jacaylbaro's topic in Politics
^^ No need, or reason to put him in his place. You will gain NOTHING from it. -
Sh. Sharif ... The First President to the White House for 40 years ???
Mr. Somalia replied to Jacaylbaro's topic in Politics
To Juje and Duke: Why do you old gents insist on embarrassing each other? I know you are all virtual bores and couldn't possibly find entertainment in each others' shortcomings in real life, but THIS cat-fight must stop! There couldn't possibly be any legitimate reason to think that, because your lives suck, we must suffer as well, to learn how bad they really suck. With the exception of mental defects-- although I believe that this is a viable possibility with you guys, the fact that you showed the wherewithal to stoop to such low levels as grown men in the first place, only means you have no shame whatsoever. Conclusion: Please take your attention craving waffle elsewhere.No one cares for it!! -
Originally posted by Internut01: ^Dr. Digle, dont you ever give up? :rolleyes: Saaxiib, such paranoia seems unhealthy! The good Doctor's involuntary hiatus is not yet over. Until then, you need to relax a little and enjoy your stay on SOL. Stop having these nightmares!-It's not good for your mental health.
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^^^ Well lets not be ashamed of bashing la-la land, okay? I mean seriously, what's Riyaale thinking, huh? Meesha ma guriga hooyadiis ayuu mowdey, or as in this particular case, gurugii Morgan(his former colleague in the Siyaad Regime)...
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Originally posted by Internut01: Dont you have a life outside of SOL and Somaliland bashing? First of all, speak for yourself, homie. Secondly, I consider Shankaroon bashing a national duty which ALL true Somali patriots must partake in... ee marka suunka dhuuqso saaxiib-- calaacalkana yaree! p.s You know, when people are too ashamed of their views they usually post under a nickname switch. Might this explain why you switched your name to Internut01, Mr Red Sea??
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Puntland diaspora want Faroole to resign on conspiracy charges!.
Mr. Somalia replied to RedSea's topic in Politics
Originally posted by Internut01: Read how many posts puntites have dedicated to SL versus Somalilanders to Puntland. The number of negative articles towards Somaliland by puntites are staggering, hence even got some of you banned from the Site. I personally dont give rats *** of how you live your life, only if you could let us live our lives the way we intend it, buuq free. If this naked attack on Somaliland persists, we'll have no choice but to expose the village Gorowe, you lot call great. ^^^ Yeah of course it's great. Ma sheki baa kaaga jira? Ninyahow, Red Sea, jihad inaad ku jirtid waan u jeedaa ee, bal seefta dhankaas iyo Riyaale orod oo la aad. -
^^^ No problem. Judging by the collective inadequacy of the secessionist posts made in this thread, I would've thought you'd be used to it by now.
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Puntland diaspora want Faroole to resign on conspiracy charges!.
Mr. Somalia replied to RedSea's topic in Politics
^^^ I am pretty sure that my confidence in Puntland's ability to tackle its local problems is way more reliable than your own faith in the future prospects of the secessionist enclave up north. Now get used to it. Puntland is a full fledged democracy whilst your clan entity now lives under a full fledged dictatorship--but it doesn't appear that you have a concept of this reality yet. You are letting your sense of prejudice and ignorance do the thinking. This is exactly why no one will ever take you seriously. For example; your supposed "facts" about a certain diaspora group from Puntland asking for Mr. Faroole to step down are quit shady, to say the least. After all the source of that article you used is not from a reputable news source and is therefore not trustworthy... My only advise to you is to quit your blatant envy and jealousy of Puntland. The more you do so, the more you just gonna look like a desperate secessionist. -
Seychelles sailors freed by pirates, then arrested..by who? Yaa kale hee!
Mr. Somalia replied to Abwaan's topic in Politics
^^^ Somalia - Puntland Response to Seychelles-Kenya Pirate Smuggling Government of Puntland State PRESS RELEASE 7 September 2009 On Sunday, 6 September 2009, two light aircraft landed illegally at an abandoned airstrip about 12km south of a small village called Gara’ad located on the Indian Ocean coastline, particularly Puntland State territory near the southern boundary with central Somalia. The two planes were carrying 23 pirates who are believed to have been exchanged for three sailors from the Seychelles Islands. The Seychelles natives were taken hostage by pirates in Feb. 2009 in Somalia territorial waters. The 23 pirates were previously captured by international naval forces and imprisoned in Seychelles allegedly for acts of piracy and were transported from captivity in the Seychelles Islands by an airplane to Jomo Kenyatta International Airport (JKIA) in Nairobi, where the transaction was facilitated by elements involved in pirate smuggling and ransom transfers. The facilitators, who were on board the planes along with the pirates, have revealed to Puntland investigators that the 23 pirates boarded the two light aircraft at JKIA after getting off the Seychelles airplane in plain sight of Kenya Police in complete uniform. The Puntland Minister of Civil Aviation, Hon. Ahmed Elmi Osman, was informed that the two aircraft were transporting a cargo of humanitarian aid supplies to the people of Puntland. However, the two light aircraft landed without permission at the abandoned airstrip in Gara’ad where a group of pirates were waiting to welcome their friends and to exchange them with the three hostages from Seychelles. Information about the true nature of the operation was leaked to Puntland authorities. After leaving Gara’ad, the two light aircraft landed at Galkayo Airport at approximately 5:30pm local time to refuel ahead of a planned return trip to Nairobi. However, Puntland police and immigration officials at the Galkayo Airport arrested 10 persons with different nationalities who were on board the two planes. These persons, who were involved in pirate smuggling and ransom transfer, had no legal clearance to land in Puntland and are now under criminal investigation. Unlike the U.S., French and Egyptian governments, who used proper and legal channels to deliver alleged pirates to Puntland, it seems that the governments of Seychelles Islands and Kenya consented to smuggle pirates across international airports and to drop them off in Puntland illegally. Furthermore, notorious ransom facilitators were used in this illegal operation which underscores the international dimensions of piracy today. The two light aircraft are currently grounded at Galkayo Airport and Puntland police are conducting a thorough investigation. The 10 crew and passengers, who are under police custody at a guesthouse in Galkayo, will be brought in front of a Puntland court of law after the conclusion of the ongoing police investigation. Puntland Government remains unwavering in its opposition to ransom payments and its commitment in the fight against piracy. The list of people on board the two light aircraft who are clandestinely involved in this illegal operation are as follows: Title: Name: Nationality: 1. Captain Joe Micheal Mwangi Kenya 2. Co-pilot Elmi Hussein Elmi Kenya 3. Captain Graham Alexander Australia 4. Co-pilot Peter Kamore Kenya 5. Facilitator Shueb Abdulhabib Adam Kenya 6. Facilitator Robin Denys Gould-Musgrave United Kingdom 7. Engineer Alex Mwangi Kenya 8. Hostage Gilbert Andre Victor Seychellois 9. Hostage Wilfranc Conrad Andre Seychellois 10. Hostage Robin Marcel Samson Seychellois -
Puntland diaspora want Faroole to resign on conspiracy charges!.
Mr. Somalia replied to RedSea's topic in Politics
^^^ lol. You created this thread to try to sell a lame counter attack against the perceived cyber onslaught by Puntlander on the tenets of shankaroonism. It turns out you don't really have much to sell. It's funny how dumbfounded you are, bobbing and weaving around the real issues which really affect you(i.e Riyaale's Mugging 2.0)-- when someone actually disagrees with you. It is a testament to how much you've lost touch with reality. Bring up your anti-Puntland nonsense all you want. I don't care. I know what really is bugging. It's funny that you keep dwelling on rather unimportant issues about Puntland, isn't it? You are continually bringing up negative articles about the great state of Puntland as a means to save face after the real bread and butter issue of your own arguments(i.e. Recognition, democracy and Freedom) were ridiculed into the ground by your own president, Riyaale. Now go bury your head in the ground, saaxiib!- The Af-Nugaal website naf kuuma noqonayee... -
^^^ Yeah dude. All I wanna say to you at this point is that I am glad I wasn't stuck with your brain. Take care.
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Originally posted by Red Sea: How many times have you been banned from SOL again? That should tell you the nonsense you spew amounts to nothing. ^^^ You're now running about aimlessly like a chicken with no head. Now, I don't know who you've got me confused with, but I for one, have never been banned from this here internet establishment. Why not just admit that you're pulling crap out of thin air?!?! And while you're at it, why not just admit that I was RIGHT in what I said about the RECOGNITION ISSUE - and that you no longer even understand what the word means anymore! Especially now that, King Riyaale has officially crowned himself in Hargaysa...
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Originally posted by Red Sea: How I wish I could wipe your nerdy smile of your face. Huh? You wipe my "nerdy" smile off? Never!! But thanks for the swing & the miss, Red$ea. But you'll need to work on your hand-Eye coordination, bro before you even think of stepping up to me. 'Cuz like Tyson on crack, Ama take you out, kiddo...
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Originally posted by -MARX-: According to reliable sources and intelligence from personal confidantes, there is war brewing in the Somaliland Republic. No better time to declare my allegiance than the present by notifying that I am not actually from Borama but from Berbera. It has been a terrible lie. We have always been the political class in Somaliland and the Somali Peninsula and I am bored of pretending to be a kabo shaag. Somaliland must be cleansed of the parasites that keep it in dark days of the Barre regime. We must think forward my somaliland brothers and sisters and work hard to protect our interest by force if necessary. As we are speaking, despite being Ramadan – people are arming themselves in far places as Gabiley and arabsiyo for a fair and just course and we are arranging the necessary requirement. After emerging victorious in these noble campaigns, we will concentrate our forces towards the eastern border and also cleanse the land of our ancestors of the cockroaches that have induced the rotting mess that is Sool and Sanaag. Oh noble Somalilanders this is our destiny. YEAH!!!! This is what I'm talking about...MARX, that was very insightful. Keep telling it as it is, because the guys can't deny the truth any longer. You've laid it out for all to see. Now, all they can do is pretend that it isn't so and try ignore that which they already know in their hearts of hearts to be the truth. Preach on.
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^^^ Who said anything about Diego??? And by the by; what do you mean by "despite your puntland tendencies"?-like that's a bad thing...lol
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^^^ Don't worry about that sxb... there is a whole Shankaroon enclave near our town where they all talk funny and you will fit in just fine. Come to think about it; you just might even have family out here...
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To Ngonge: I'm sure your thread will garner you a better response in here if you wrote it in af soomaali. So please humor me, and attempt an interlingual rendition of the aforementioned narrative in our mother tongue! I shall look forward to seeing it then...
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^^^ California welcomes you with open arms, Marx. Now the visa part is really easy... just know exactly what it is you wanna do out here! Now if you are moving for family reasons such as a marriage or engagement in anticipation of marriage to a US citizen. Apply for either a: K1, CR-1 or a K3. But if you've a close relative (mother, father, child over the age of 21, brother, sister and no further) who is a US citizen who can sponsor you; Apply for an I-130 petition. Now if your reasons are work related and you have skills that are in short supply in America, i.e you have scientific or technological training. A degree is normally a must and you need a job offer before you can get such a visa which is called an H1B Visa. Your prospective employer should be your sponsor and they will also have to prove to the Labor Department that there aren't any Americans who are capable of doing the job. And finally, if you intend to come over as a student: Apply for an F1 visa, from an accredited school, but to get this, you have to show that you have means to cover the cost of tuition and other living expenses at the very least. This can be from having money in the bank or sponsorship by family members and/or a scholarship etc. I hope this helps and for further info, check out the following sites... 1. US State Department 2. US Citizenship and Immigration Services
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Satire 5 Thou shalt not laugh in this leafe, Muse, nor they Whom any pity warmes; He which did lay Rules to make Courtiers, (hee being understood May make good Courtiers, but who Courtiers good?) Frees from the sting of jests all who'in extreme Are wrech'd or wicked: of these two a theame Charity and liberty give me. What is hee Who Officers rage, and Suiters misery Can write, and jest? If all things be in all, As I thinke, since all, which were, are, and shall Bee, be made of the same elements: Each thing, each thing implyes or represents. Then man is a world; in which, Officers Are the vast ravishing seas; and Suiters, Springs; now full, now shallow, now drye; which, to That which drownes them, run: These selfe reasons do Prove the world a man, in which, officers Are the devouring stomacke, and Suiters Th'excrements, which they voyd. All men are dust; How much worse are Suiters, who to mens lust Are made preyes? O worse then dust, or wormes meat, For they do'eate you now, whose selves wormes shall eate. They are the mills which grinde you, yet you are The winde which drives them; and a wastfull warre Is fought against you, and you fight it; they Adulterate lawe, and you prepare their way Like wittals; th'issue your owne ruine is. Greatest and fairest Empresse, know you this? Alas, no more then Thames calme head doth know Whose meades her armes drowne, or whose corne o'rflow: You Sir, whose righteousnes she loves, whom I By having leave to serve, am most richly For service paid, authoriz'd, now beginne To know and weed out this enormous sinne. O Age of rusty iron! some better wit Call it some worse name, if ought equall it; Th'iron Age _that_ was, when justice was sold; now Injustice is sold dearer farre. Allow All demands, fees, and duties; gamsters, anon The mony which you sweat, and sweare for, is gon Into'other hands: So controverted lands Scape, like Angelica, the strivers hands. If Law be in the Judges heart, and hee Have no heart to resist letter, or fee, Where wilt thou'appeale? Powre of the Courts below Flow from the first maine head, and these can throw Thee, if they sucke thee in, to misery, To fetters, halters; But if th'injury Steele thee to dare complaine, Alas, thou go'st Against the stream, when upwards: when thou'art most Heavy'and most faint; and in these labours they, 'Gainst whom thou should'st complaine, will in the way Become great seas, o'r which, when thou shalt bee Forc'd to make golden bridges, thou shalt see That all thy gold was drown'd in them before; All things follow their like, only who have may'have more. Judges are Gods; he who made and said them so, Meant not that men should be forc'd to them to goe, By meanes of Angels; When supplications We send to God, to Dominations, Powers, Cherubins, and all heavens Courts, if wee Should pay fees as here, daily bread would be Scarce to Kings; so 'tis. Would it not anger A Stoicke, a coward, yea a Martyr, To see a Pursivant come in, and call All his cloathes, Copes; Bookes, Primers; and all His Plate, Challices; and mistake them away, And aske a fee for comming? Oh, ne'r may Faire lawes white reverend name be strumpeted, To warrant thefts: she is established Recorder to Destiny, on earth, and shee Speakes Fates words, and but tells us who must bee Rich, who poore, who in chaires, who in jayles: Shee is all faire, but yet hath foule long nailes, With which she scracheth Suiters; In bodies Of men, so'in law, nailes are th'extremities, So Officers stretch to more then Law can doe, As our nailes reach what no else part comes to. Why bar'st thou to yon Officer? Foole, Hath hee Got those goods, for which erst men bar'd to thee? Foole, twice, thrice, thou'hast bought wrong,'and now hungerly Beg'st right; But that dole comes not till these dye. Thou'had'st much, and lawes Urim and Thummim trie Thou wouldst for more; and for all hast paper Enough to cloath all the great Carricks Pepper. Sell that, and by that thou much more shalt leese, Then Haman, when he sold his Antiquities.
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Satire 4 Well; I may now receive, and die; My sinne Indeed is great, but I have beene in A Purgatorie, such as fear'd hell is A recreation to,'and scant map of this. My minde, neither with prides itch, nor yet hath been Poyson'd with love to see, or to bee seene, I had no suit there, nor new suite to shew, Yet went to Court; But as Glaze which did goe To'a Masse in jest, catch'd, was faine to disburse The hundred markes, which is the Statutes curse, Before he scapt, So'it pleas'd my destinie (Guilty'of my sin of going,) to thinke me As prone to'all ill, and of good as forget- full, as proud, as lustfull, and as much in debt, As vaine, as witlesse, and as false as they Which dwell at Court, for once going that way. Therefore I suffer'd this; Towards me did runne A thing more strange, then on Niles slime, the Sunne E'r bred; or all which into Noahs Arke came; A thing, which would have pos'd Adam to name; Stranger then seaven Antiquaries studies, Then Africks Monsters, Guianaes rarities. Stranger then strangers; One, who for a Dane, In the Danes Massacre had sure beene slaine, If he had liv'd then; And without helpe dies, When next the Prentises 'gainst Strangers rise. One, whom the watch at noone lets scarce goe by, One, to'whom th'examining Justice sure would cry, 'Sir, by your priesthood tell me what you are.' His cloths were strange, though coarse; and black, though bare; Sleevelesse his jerkin was, and it had beene Velvet, but 'twas now (so much ground was seene) Become Tufftaffatie; and our children shall See it plaine Rashe awhile, then nought at all. This thing hath travail'd, and saith, speakes all tongues, And only know'th what to all States belongs; Made of th'Accents, and best phrase of all these, He speakes one language; If strange meats displease, Art can deceive, or hunger force my tast, But Pedants motley tongue, souldiers bumbast, Mountebankes drugtongue, nor the termes of law Are strong enough preparatives, to draw Me to beare this: yet I must be content With his tongue, in his tongue, call'd complement: In which he can win widdowes, and pay scores, Make men speake treason, cosen subtlest whores, Out-flatter favorites, or outlie either Jovius, or Surius, or both together. He names mee,'and comes to mee; I whisper, 'God! How have I sinn'd, that thy wraths furious rod, This fellow chuseth me?' He saith, 'Sir, I love your judgement; Whom doe you prefer, For the best linguist?' And I seelily Said, that I thought Calepines Dictionarie; 'Nay, but of men, most sweet Sir?' Beza then, Some Jesuites, and two reverend men Of our two Academies, I nam'd; There He stopt mee,'and said, 'Nay, your Apostles were Good pretty linguists, and so Panurge was; Yet a poore gentleman, all these may passe By travaile.' Then, as if he would have sold His tongue, he prais'd it, and such wonders told That I was faine to say, 'If you'had liv'd, Sir, Time enough to have beene Interpreter To Babells bricklayers, sure the Tower had stood.' He adds, 'If of court life you knew the good, You would leave lonenesse.' I said, 'Not alone My lonenesse is. But Spartanes fashion, To teach by painting drunkards, doth not tast Now; Aretines pictures have made few chast; No more can Princes courts, though there be few Better pictures of vice, teach me vertue.' He, like to'a high stretcht lute string squeakt, 'O Sir, 'Tis sweet to talke of Kings.' 'At Westminster,' Said I, 'The man that keepes the Abbey tombes, And for his price doth with who ever comes, Of all our Harries, and our Edwards talke, From King to King and all their kin can walke: Your eares shall heare nought, but Kings; your eyes meet Kings only; The way to it, is Kingstreet.' He smack'd, and cry'd, 'He's base, Mechanique, coarse, So'are all your Englishmen in their discourse. Are not your Frenchmen neate?' 'Mine? as you see, I'have but one Frenchman, looke, hee followes mee.' 'Certes they'are neatly cloth'd; I,'of this minde am, Your only wearing is your Grogaram.' 'Not so Sir, I have more.' Under this pitch He would not flie; I chaff'd him; But as Itch Scratch'd into smart, and as blunt iron ground Into an edge, hurts worse: So, I (foole) found, Crossing hurt mee; To fit my sullennesse, He to another key, his stile doth addresse, And askes, 'What newes?' I tell him of new playes. He takes my hand, and as a Still, which staies A Sembriefe, 'twixt each drop, he nigardly, As loth to'enrich mee, so tells many'a lie. More then ten Hollensheads, or Halls, or Stowes, Of triviall houshold trash he knowes; He knowes When the Queene frown'd, or smil'd, and he knowes what A subtle States-man may gather of that; He knowes who loves; whom; and who by poyson Hasts to an Offices reversion; He knowes who'hath sold his land, and now doth beg A licence, old iron, bootes, shooes, and egge- shels to transport; Shortly boyes shall not play At span-counter, or blow-point, but they pay Toll to some Courtier;'And wiser then all us, He knowes what Ladie is not painted; Thus He with home-meats tries me; I belch, spue, spit, Looke pale, and sickly, like a Patient; Yet He thrusts me more; And as if he'undertooke To say Gallo-Belgicus without booke Speakes of all States, and deeds, that have been since The Spaniards came, to the losse of Amyens. Like a bigge wife, at sight of loathed meat, Readie to travaile: So I sigh, and sweat To heare this Makeron talke: In vaine; for yet, Either my humour, or his owne to fit, He like a priviledg'd spie, whom nothing can Discredit, Libells now 'gainst each great man. He names a price for every office paid; He saith, our warres thrive ill, because delai'd; That offices are entail'd, and that there are Perpetuities of them, lasting as farre As the last day; And that great officers, Doe with the Pirates share, and Dunkirkers. Who wasts in meat, in clothes, in horse, he notes; Who loves Whores, who boyes, and who goats. I more amas'd then Circes prisoners, when They felt themselves turne beasts, felt my selfe then Becomming Traytor, and mee thought I saw One of our Giant Statutes ope his jaw To sucke me in; for hearing him, I found That as burnt venom'd Leachers doe grow sound By giving others their soares, I might growe Guilty, and he free: Therefore I did shew All signes of loathing; But since I am in, I must pay mine, and my forefathers sinne To the last farthing; Therefore to my power Toughly'and stubbornly'I beare this crosse; But the'houre Of mercy now was come; He tries to bring Me to pay'a fine to scape his torturing, And saies, 'Sir, can you spare me?' I said, 'Willingly.' 'Nay, Sir, can you spare me'a crown?' Thankfully I Gave it, as Ransome; But as fidlers, still, Though they be paid to be gone, yet needs will Thrust one more jigge upon you: so did hee With his long complementall thankes vexe me. But he is gone, thankes to his needy want, And the prerogative of my Crowne: Scant His thankes were ended, when I, (which did see All the court fill'd with more strange things then hee) Ran from thence with such or more hast, then one Who feares more actions, doth make from prison. At home in wholesome solitarinesse My precious soule began, the wretchednesse Of suiters at court to mourne, and a trance Like his, who dreamt he saw hell, did advance It selfe on mee; Such men as he saw there, I saw at court, and worse, and more; Low feare Becomes the guiltie, not th'accuser; Then, Shall I, nones slave, of high borne, or rais'd men Feare frownes? And, my Mistresse Truth, betray thee To th'huffing braggart, puft Nobility? No, no, Thou which since yesterday hast beene Almost about the whole world, hast thou seene, O Sunne, in all thy journey, Vanitie, Such as swells the bladder of our court? I Thinke he which made your waxen garden, and Transported it from Italy to stand With us, at London, flouts our Presence, for Just such gay painted things, which no sappe, nor Tast have in them, ours are; And naturall Some of the stocks are, their fruits, ******* all. 'Tis ten a clock and past; All whom the Mues, Baloune, Tennis, Dyet, or the stewes, Had all the morning held, now the second Time made ready, that day, in flocks, are found In the Presence, and I, (God pardon mee.) As fresh, and sweet their Apparrells be, as bee The fields they sold to buy them;'For a King Those hose are,'cry the flatterers; And bring Them next weeke to the Theatre to sell; Wants reach all states; Me seemes they doe as well At stage, as court; All are players; who e'r lookes (For themselves dare not goe) o'r Cheapside books, Shall finde their wardrops Inventory. Now, The Ladies come; As Pirats, which doe know That there came weak ships fraught with Cutchannel, The men board them; and praise, as they thinke, well, Their beauties; they the mens wits; Both are bought. Why good wits ne'r weare scarlet gownes, I thought This cause, These men, mens wits for speeches buy, And women buy all reds which scarlets die. He call'd her beauty limetwigs, her haire net; She feares her drugs ill laid, her haire loose set. Would not Heraclitus laugh to see Macrine, From hat, to shooe, himselfe at doore refine, As if the Presence were a Moschite,'and lift His skirts and hose, and call his clothes to shrift, Making them confesse not only mortall Great staines and holes in them; but veniall Feathers and dust, wherewith they fornicate; And then by Durers rules survay the state Of his each limbe, and with strings the odds tries Of his neck to his legge, and wast to thighes. So in immaculate clothes, and Symetrie Perfect as circles, with such nicetie As a young Preacher at his first time goes To preach, he enters, and a Lady which owes Him not so much as good will, he arrests, And unto her protests protests protests So much as at Rome would serve to have throwne Ten Cardinalls into th'Inquisition; And whisperd 'by Jesu',so'often,that A Pursevant would have ravish'd him away For saying of our Ladies psalter; But 'tis fit That they each other plague, they merit it. But here comes Glorius that will plague them both, Who, in the other extreme, only doth Call a rough carelessnesse, good fashion; Whose cloak his spurres teare; whom he spits on He cares not; His ill words doe no harme To him; he rusheth in, as if 'Arme, arme,' He meant to crie; And though his face be'as ill As theirs which in old hangings whip Christ, yet still He strives to looke worse, he keepes all in awe; Jeasts like a licenc'd foole, commands like law. Tyr'd, now I leave this place, and but pleas'd so As men which from gaoles to'execution goe, Goe through the great chamber (why is it hung With the seaven deadly sinnes?); Being among Those Askaparts, men big enough to throw Charing Crosse for a barre, men that doe know No token of worth, but 'Queenes man', and fine Living, barrells of beefe, flaggons of wine; I shooke like a spyed Spie. Preachers which are Seas of Wit and Arts, you can, then dare, Drowne the sinnes of this place, for, for mee Which am but a scarce brooke, it enough shall bee To wash the staines away; Though I yet With Macchabees modestie, the knowne merit Of my worke lessen: yet some wise man shall, I hope, esteeme my writs Canonicall.
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