I don't think I’m actually exposed to too much racism and sometimes I actually forget it exist...But I understand what Northern is getting at. I know too many people who are too quick to blame everything on racism, doing the whole Ali G “Is it because I is black” routine! But now they’ve moved on to the “Is it because I is Somali” well I think that due to the media diverting their gaze on to the Muslims, I don’t think race is an issue anymore faith has taken it’s place and I think everyone should be more aware of religious discrimination much less anything else

Lol...obviously there are some guys out there who'll chat up anything with legs, and they're use to the rejection no doubt they'll keep trying till they get lucky and don't mind the insults either! Whereas I would never put myself in that position I think it's rather degrading, whether it's for a laugh or you're being totally serious! I guess I can tell the difference between guys who are genuine and those who have been on the pull all day. So I make sure I’m nice to the genuine ones and harsh with the players because I'm not there to play their silly games...so I guess I make sure he looks like a total prat infront of his mates!

LOL...I know what your talking about, I live with a house full of boys who take forever to get out the bathroom, I swear they spend more time in there then I do! Takes them around 3 hours to get ready and dressed only for them to go around asking everyone in the house if they look all right, and then get changed half dozen times before they make it out the door! God help the poor women who get lumbered with them for life! The end result may look good, but for the love of God I don’t spend that much time on myself and the idea of a man looking after himself more than me makes me feel really insecure about myself and I’ll suddenly see myself as an unkempt tom boy!

Personally I think the SOL admin is a little too much..deleting my posts like I've insulted someone! damn everyone knows I'm a good girl..I couldn't hurt a fly! Plus he "accidentally" banned me once...but I don't think it was an accident!

Doer Suicidal or homicidal?

As long as they’re not having sexual relations I think it’s dodgy but in a weird and twisted way understandable. (if that even makes sense :confused: ) But I think he could have helped her without marrying her!

OKAY PEOPLE ENOUGH IS A ENOUGH You girls have turned this topic in a *****ing session! The reason why these women bleach themselves is because of people like you! who are so bloody superficial! For the love of God I didn't open this topic so that, kool kat, Raxmah, LadyMo', Umm_Mehdar and Raxiil can tell us how light skinned they are, or how ugly these victimised women are for only trying to obtain something the somali community values so dearly!. (btw you didn’t all say this) Nor I did I hope it to talk about the effect these creams have…I just want to know why these women feel as though being light is the answer to everything?! And to let all the other dark skinned girls out there know that Black is in fact beautiful…hence the pictures I posted. Did anyone even make the connection?! All the Somali women in the fashion industry are actually dark skinned and are considered to be very beautiful by both black and white people a like. So I guess what I really wanted to say was beauty isn’t about how light you are it’s actually got to do with you bone structure, facial features and symmetry! ( as Thierry said! )

Raxill it's illegal but it still happens in the UK. I knew of an Arab man who was wanted by the police after accidentally killing a child when he was under the knife. This man also does a lot of FGM for Somali girls living in the UK, where parents usually the mother pay up to £60 for it to be performed at home. But obviously it's not the complete stitching up that is done back home but still it's horrible and there should be more done about it! For god sake these women rather have some man not to mention "wanted man" perform the surgery than not have it done at all! I know a girl this happened to when she was 14 and what made me think was that her mother had the cheek to ask her to wear a hijaab but the girl refused and said to her mother "What do you care about religion...so he can see by private parts and but not my hair?!" she also told me she asked her mum who would know if she didn't have it done anyways...for goodness sake that was a 14 year old! I also know another girl, who came to be for advice because she was having problems with her FGM, that she was unable to do normal things and because she was worried about telling her mother because she thought that her mum will call her a whore. And she was seriously considering going to a clinic by herself and getting it opened or corrected without telling a soul. Walahi it makes feel sick to the core because I feel so angry and yet so powerless when I hear about FGM and I can understand why some well-known Somali woman have decided to raise awareness about FGM. I've actually worked for a Somali community for youths but this subject was and still is a total taboo because the girls are worried about how their families will treat them if they were to tell people about it and were to somehow find out. So what I want to know is...have the Somalis come to the point were they value culture over religion and social morals?! Oh and in answer to the actually topic starter's question. I believe that the majority of men within the Somali community couldn't careless about FGM but it's the narrow minded, shortsighted women who propagate and sell these twisted ideologies to the younger generation in hope of maintaining one of the most barbaric cultures around. Walahi I only hope one day that FGM becomes a lost and forgotten about practise everywhere, because it isn't just the Somalis who perform FGM.

Runaway...sis i've got the same problem..I use to think I was a weirdo. No matter how fine the guy was, without thinking or even considering it i'd just see myself saying "NO" Point blank. then I'd kick myself afterwards...lol In a way sis I see it as a good thing but then again don't be afaird to bite your tongue...listen to what they're saying and actually consider it and show them you've given it some thought then if you want to say...yes or no! I tried it once and then I realised it was a big mistake...but i'm not putting you off. I'm no David blaine so I guess what i'm saying is when you're in the situation next just shut your mouth and listen!

Yeah it sounds really interesting maybe I'll think about it when I finish my studies, So what sort of subjects would you want us to major in?

Narcissistic-Sister, Sis walahi I'm really sorry to hear that and inshallah may Allah grant them eternal peace and forgive them for their sins. I know how hard it can be but walaal never take life for granted because you never know when your loan will expire or those whom are close you will return to their maker. I hope you fair through this hard time and emerge stronger!

This is tough since I'm not a full time member...lol but here goes anyways. Boys (1)The-poet (2)Northerner (3)mobb deep (4)Jamaal-11 (5)Admin lol Girls (1)Somealien (2)Opinionated (3)disillusioned-N-despondent (4)Bambina (5)Ameenah I think there are alot more but oh well i had a limit

somaliland & somalia or united somalia

Duh nur you posted a men only post in the women's section, knowing fully well us women don't follow instructions! So don't act supprised!

looooooooooooooooool...Somealien, hey don't knock 5'7 i'm that! anyways thanks for you replies even though some of you lot are in danger of sounding a little superfical. To be honest I have a problem with my skin colour and no matter how much I reason with myself I see myself putting myself down. I think I blame it on the somali people around me who constantly remark about how "different" I am to the rest of my sisters and even when I went to somalia they use to greet everyone with hugs and kisses... except me thinking I was a local and then my mum would say she's my daugther too and they'd say "Oh okay" and carry on talking. even though I know that to be beautiful isn't just to be light, but if it's hammered into your head from an early age you can't help but think about!

AKH i hate the colour pink!!! Black is best because you can never go wrong with black! Anyways I think it's confidence! you get alot more attention when you're confident about how you look. I'm not saying be loud and brash just walk tall and walk with pride!

BIGGIE!!! DUH Polygamous or monogamous relationships?

So because you couldn't talk about qaabil you've settled for a battle of the sexes, typical Somalians always looking for fights! lol Even thought I’m big on women’s rights I have to say that I never fight for things that are fruitless…so freedom is a lost cause since no one is free! But equality on the other hand isn’t too much to ask for even if it’s to a certain degree. However I realised I’m not as physically able as a man but still why should women be treated as if they are some how inferior… mentally and emotionally? But stop generalising and stereotyping because everyone is different!!! Because you get can get weak brothers too!

Night out with the girls! life and soul of the party or weirdo in the corner?

I’ve noticed that quite a large amount of Somali woman have this twisted view that they must lighten themselves in order to think of them selves as beautiful. I think that the majority of Somali people constantly associate beauty with skin colour, I’d like to know why!? Keeping in mind that the majority if not all of the Somali supermodels out there in the fashion industry have all dark skin complexions. So if it’s not a western ideal then what is it and why are we so eager to be white? A while back I read an interesting article in the black magazine ‘Ebony’ called “Everyone wants to be a white woman” I found this article very amusing because they stressed that even black men want to be white women, using Michael Jackson as a prime example. Personally I think he's just taking his “Planet of the Ape” obsession too far! Anyways, getting back to the issue at hand! It is a well known fact that scores of women in Somalia bleaching and wrecking their skin just for the sake of having a fairer complexion. But I find that these women subject themselves to this torture due to the society which they are brought up in, where women with fair skin are valued more than those with darker skin. I’m not afraid to admit that I myself have been a victim of these demoralising and bitterly twisted views whilst visiting Somaliland in 2002. So it’s no wonder young girls destroy their beautiful skin just to fit into these warped ideals and imagery that being light skinned is beautiful!

I might not agree with the way she chooses to live her life but I would never want what happened to her to happen to anyone! I don’t think that we should even judge her because at the end of the day it’s Allah who will judge her…so who are we to condemn her and treat her any differently for just expressing herself?! I’m sure you lot are more concerned about the way she has portrayed the Somali nation than the fact that she was brought a very important issue to light that needs to be addressed. Because what she wrote in her book is true! I know this because she’s not alone, I’ve spoken to many people who have also had similarly hard lives. I know my own aunty was married at the age of 14 to a bloke way older than herself and lets not lie to ourselves about FGM because it still happens to this day. So it’s wrong to be selfish and ignore it just because it didn’t happen to you! Anyway I have to say that she might have gone the wrong way about it but its thanks to her that people are now aware of what goes on in Somalia and I’m sure that there are girls out there who now are able to talk about it more openly because now it’s seen as acceptable to discuss. So I think you lot should be a little more respectful of the woman, she's been through a lot and she's not the first Somali woman to give birth out of wedlock, because as hard as it maybe to believe boys, sex and lust was not invented by "The West”!

Finally someone here understands! Cheers the poet!!!

I honestly don’t think that they should make such a brash decision so easily; I know Qat has many bad points but I also believe that “Nasir Warfa Department of psychiatry, Queen Mary, London” made a very value point. The adverse affects of banning qat are serious, in the sense that the Somali community aren’t going to follow suit as soon as the British government says so! In reality the banning of qat will mean that families with male who are addicted will either face physical or verbal abuse due to withdrawal symptoms or they will lose financially as soon as a black market for the qat is set up and is charged at ridiculous rates! And suddenly the Somali community will be viewed as criminals for doing something which is for them culturally expectable. I actually live near St Clement's hospital and have seen the amount of Somalians who have be admitted to the hospital for psychological problems, ranging from paranoia to depression and domestic violence. Some even display suicidal behaviour and there are several known cases of suicide in the local Somali community. But I believe that of course drugs affect individuals differently and so you will find that some individuals use it as a social lubricant and those who use it to forget about their worries become addicts just like as you get with alcohol yet no one is trying to ban alcohol! Therefore instead of banning it they should introduce an age limit on qat and hopefully with time the younger generation will have no taste for the drug and help the Somali community slowly rid them selves of this problem. But you can’t do any of this with the naïve idea that the problem will disappear altogether because no matter what you do there will be people who misuse qat and so that’s when the problems start!

I think I’m having a pre-quarter life crisis is that possible at the age of 20 going on 21?! Or have I finially just lost it?

Always the Co-Star and never the Star! WHY???!! and if you cared to notice, i'm not a Psycho anymore and haven't been for a while!