I was being extreme when using the nightdress example. What I meant to say is that in Somali culture, female relatives who are not our sisters, mothers or wives are treated and regarded in the same way we would treat a sister or a mother. In many cases, your female cousin would run off and hide (or put her xijaab) on if a strange man came into the house. But, if this man is her brother (who is a mahram of course) or her cousin (who is not a mahram) she will not bother with the xijaab. When you ask her why she didn’t, she’ll reply “ waa walaalki dee”. I was not talking about you personally, man.

Hey how long is a person banned from Paltalk? Just recently I was kicked out; though I can join the rooms and hear what others are saying, I cant write anything and read what others are saying THe whole screen is blue. ITs #@$%#$%%$% frustrating Doesn’t sound like a ban to me. Sounds as if you’re using an older version of the program. If you’re able to access any program and are able to hear what people say, then it’s more likely a malfunction rather than a straightforward ban. Download the latest version.

Culture covers many aspects of a person’s life. I can’t say for certain if Western culture is superior to Somali culture. From a religious point of view, I wouldn’t swap Somali culture with the western one. Having said that, the Somali culture is not strictly religious, is it? The brother above talked about having a large extended family and the fact that you can walk into your cousin’s house and make a cup of tea! No eyebrows will be raised if that cousin was a single female and was herself making a cup of tea there and then while wearing her nightdress. In fact, the brother could be a wadad and that scenario would still not bother him one little bit – she’s his “sister”! The other problem here is that when people leave their country and live in a new society, they can’t help but pick up some habits and traits from their new society. If those habits are good, they start asking themselves, “ Why don’t we have this in Somalia?” If they’re bad, they just ignore them and blame it on the “foreign” people. Finally, and this is really the crux of the matter, we’re all suffering from an identity crisis, or, we’re in denial. Lets face it, at this point in time; there is nothing to be proud of about being a Somali. NOTHING. This is why the younger generation shun their Somali roots and attempt (but miserably fail) to embrace their new culture and surroundings. Cultures have role models, they have heroes, poets, writers, intellectuals, religious symbols, singers, actors and many others that help to either evolve that culture or at least bring out the bits that make it great. All these people I just mentioned are the same people who were there when my father was a young man! I’m not saying new ones don’t exist but if they do, they’re really not doing a good job of making themselves heard and seen. Don’t want to depress you with the above (even though I believe it to all be true). However, all is not lost; in their race to embrace other cultures, what most Somalis managed to achieve is to create a new hybrid culture that is a mix of Somali and western (the small W is deliberate here). It does not fully fit into either side but it’s theirs and nobody else’s. Somalis in America (and Western Europe) have norms, habits and ways of interacting with each other and living side by side, which are exclusively theirs. Those rules will hardly work with Somalis living in the Arab world. They most definitely wont work with Somalis living back home either. I’ll stop rambling on now....

Ignorance is not the exclusive reserve of Hindus, man. Many Muslims will do a similar thing. They’ll say JINN have possessed the child. How is that different from what the Indians have done?

The Six Million Dollar Man. ** adjusts dentures **

Where you meet the person you end up marrying is not the problem. As has been discussed in another thread, it could be a bus stop, a car park, a wedding, a friend’s house, a supermarket or online. Of all these places, I would have thought a meeting online would be safest. I mean is it really that different? You meat someone anywhere else, you get their number and you TALK on the phone to get to know each other first. Online chat works more or less in the exactly the same way. Some people tell the truth and some people lie. As for meeting people as friends, well what’s wrong with that? I’ve met lots of guys and girls that I’ve known from online chat forums and they all turned out to be very nice people. I’m afraid I couldn’t go ahead with the marrying someone I met on the net bit. My wife wouldn’t approve.

theres a sayin that goes like this "ppl who complain of constant boredom is not because they have notin to do, but are a boring person themselves"...or something to that effect.. There is another saying famous in the back alleyways of my town. It goes a little bit like this: M I A O W !

I can’t understand people who hate a collective and blame individuals for the faults, crimes and atrocities of that collective. A case in point, the Jews; Now, I’m told I should hate the Jews. But why should I? I can hate the state of Israel and all it stands for but I can’t hate any and every Jewish person! Of course I don’t love them either and embrace them as my brothers, But to hate them? Hate is a very strong emotion, it’s usually accompanied by rudeness, violence and undignified acts. If my next door neighbour is a Jew who has no connection or contact with the state of Israel and does not believe or agree with that country’s policies (as many Jews do), I can’t see myself hating them and making my dislike of them clearly obvious. As a Muslim, it’s my duty to be nice and polite to everyone who is not my openly declared enemy. Even with enemies, there are countless instances in Islam whereby people better than us have treated their enemies with respect and helped them in marginal issues (e.g., Salahuddin AL Ayyubi’s surgeon being sent to treat the Byzantine commander while the war was still raging). Now I return to the Ethiopians, we’re talking about a third world country that’s only slightly better than Somalia because it has a functioning government and a bit of stability. However, in every thing else, they’re no different to us. Ignorance still prevails, poverty is rife and education is at a minimum. How the hell do you expect an everyday Ethiopian to know the ins and outs of all these political issues and blame him/her for the actions of it’s own government? Worse still, how can you blame and hate fellow Muslims in such a scenario? Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) judges us as individuals, why then should we judge people as a collective and blame them for the sins of others? It gets even worse when the poster being attacked here is only half Ethiopian and half Somali. What do you do then? Hate the left side of her body and love the right one? :confused: :confused: :confused:

Barwaaqo,it’s a childhood affliction. I once saw an old lady wearing a revealing Dirac and have been scared with that image ever since. A Dirac really is nothing but a pyjama that I wouldn’t recommend to wear outside (or at home, knowing our friendly Somali culture). As for not wanting to see something revealing, bodies are not revealing to me, I live in the West and I see naked women walking the streets every single day. What I really find revealing are “eyes”. When a woman looks me straight in the eyes is when I start to worry. In fact, I fall in love with every woman that looks me in the eyes. Luckily for my heart and sanity, I learned to lower my gaze (and then I see that darn Dirac!). :mad:

People are the same through the ages. My Countrymen What do you seek, my countrymen? Do you desire that I build for You gorgeous palaces, decorated With words of empty meaning, or Temples roofed with dreams? Or Do you command me to destroy what The liars and tyrants have built? Shall I uproot with my fingers What the hypocrites and the wicked Have implanted? Speak your insane Wish! What is it you would have me do, My countrymen? Shall I purr like The kitten to satisfy you, or roar Like the lion to please myself? I Have sung for you, but you did not Dance; I have wept before you, but You did not cry. Shall I sing and Weep at the same time? Your souls are suffering the pangs Of hunger, and yet the fruit of Knowledge is more plentiful than The stones of the valleys. Your hearts are withering from Thirst, and yet the springs of Life are streaming about your Homes -- why do you not drink? The sea has its ebb and flow, The moon has its fullness and Crescents, and the ages have Their winter and summer, and all Things vary like the shadow of An unborn god moving between Earth and sun, but truth cannot Be changed, nor will it pass away; Why, then, do you endeavour to Disfigure its countenance? I have called you in the silence Of the night to point out the Glory of the moon and the dignity Of the stars, but you startled From your slumber and clutched Your swords in fear, crying, "Where is the enemy? We must kill Him first!" At morningtide, when The enemy came, I called to you Again, but now you did not wake From your slumber, for you were Locked in fear, wrestling with The processions of spectres in Your dreams. And I said unto you, "Let us climb To the mountain top and view the Beauty of the world." And you Answered me, saying, "In the depths Of this valley our fathers lived, And in its shadows they died, and in Its caves they were buried. How can We depart this place for one which They failed to honour?" And I said unto you, "Let us go to The plain that gives its bounty to The sea." And you spoke timidly to Me, saying, "The uproar of the abyss Will frighten our spirits, and the Terror of the depths will deaden Our bodies." I have loved you, my countrymen, but My love for you is painful to me And useless to you; and today I Hate you, and hatred is a flood That sweeps away the dry branches And quavering houses. I have pitied your weakness, my Countrymen, but my pity has but Increased your feebleness, exalting And nourishing slothfulness which Is vain to life. And today I see Your infirmity which my soul loathes And fears. I have cried over your humiliation And submission, and my tears streamed Like crystalline, but could not sear Away your stagnant weakness; yet they Removed the veil from my eyes. My tears have never reached your Petrified hearts, but they cleansed The darkness from my inner self. Today I am mocking at your suffering, For laughter is a raging thunder that Precedes the tempest and never comes After it. What do you desire, my countrymen? Do you wish for me to show you The ghost of your countenance on The face of still water? Come, Now, and see how ugly you are! Look and meditate! Fear has Turned your hair grey as the Ashes, and dissipation has grown Over your eyes and made them into Obscured hollows, and cowardice Has touched your cheeks that now Appear as dismal pits in the Valley, and death has kissed Your lips and left them yellow As the autumn leaves. What is it that you seek, my Countrymen? What ask you from Life, who does not any longer Count you among her children? Your souls are freezing in the Clutches of the priests and Sorcerers, and your bodies Tremble between the paws of the Despots and the shedders of Blood, and your country quakes Under the marching feet of the Conquering enemy; what may you Expect even though you stand Proudly before the face of the Sun? Your swords are sheathed With rust, and your spears are Broken, and your shields are Laden with gaps, why, then, do You stand in the field of battle? Hypocrisy is your religion, and Falsehood is your life, and Nothingness is your ending; why, Then, are you living? Is not Death the sole comfort of the Miserable? Life is a resolution that Accompanies youth, and a diligence That follows maturity, and a Wisdom that pursues senility; but You, my countrymen, were born old And weak. And your skins withered And your heads shrank, whereupon You become as children, running Into the mire and casting stones Upon each other. Knowledge is a light, enriching The warmth of life, and all may Partake who seek it out; but you, My countrymen, seek out darkness And flee the light, awaiting the Coming of water from the rock, And your nation's misery is your Crime. I do not forgive you Your sins, for you know what you Are doing. Humanity is a brilliant river Singing its way and carrying with It the mountains' secrets into The heart of the sea; but you, My countrymen, are stagnant Marshes infested with insects And vipers. The spirit is a sacred blue Torch, burning and devouring The dry plants, and growing With the storm and illuminating The faces of the goddesses; but You, my countrymen, your souls Are like ashes which the winds Scatter upon the snow, and which The tempests disperse forever in The valleys. Fear not the phantom of death, My countrymen, for his greatness And mercy will refuse to approach Your smallness; and dread not the Dagger, for it will decline to be Lodged in your shallow hearts. I hate you, my countrymen, because You hate glory and greatness. I Despise you because you despise Yourselves. I am your enemy, for You refuse to realize that you are The enemies of the goddesses.

Where do I start, man, where do I start? Catch 22 – it’s a great book about the Second World War. It’s mad, funny, tragic and absolutely fascinating. One of the best books ever written. I highly recommend it. Caesar (by Colleen Muclouch) – Tells the story of Caesar’s wars in Gaul of the long hairs and his endless struggle with the plotters and schemers of Rome’s political scene. It also describes his historical “crossing of the Rubicon” and his elevation into a god figure by the ancient Egyptians. In fact, I would recommend that you read all the books by this author. Thorn Bird is a best seller and is always mentioned in the lists of the best books ever written, plus she’s written a whole serious on ancient Rome and the political intrigues of that great empire. Dickens. I’m not sure which book to recommend by this great author. I’m sure you’ve heard of most of his classics but I would also add The Pickwick Papers as a must read book. Short stories by Edgar Alan Poe – This guy is the pioneer of crime stories and horror. He’s also a great poet. In this book, you can read the story of the Black Cat, the Tell Tale Heart and the amazingly stunning story of the Pit and the Pendulum. I highly recommend him (unless his stories are already part of the US or Australian curriculum that is). The Iliad (Homer) – This is Homer’s great poem. It tells the story of the Trojan War; of Beautiful Helen of Troy, of Hector, of Paris and old Priam. It describes the war in cinematic detail and includes the involvement of the gods of Olympus in all the twists and turns in the book. Once you’ve read this book, don’t forget to read the follow up “poem”, the Odyssey. Shogun (James Clavel) – It tells the story of an English sailor being washed ashore with his crew in ancient Japan. It describes the old Samurai way of living, the Ronin, the Shinto and Buddhist faiths. In its essence, it’s a political book full of treachery and intrigue. James Clavel by the way is the same guy who wrote King Rat and translated the Art of War. I think these are enough for now. I’ll post more as I remember them.

In the past, going to University meant that when you finally got your degree, you would come out as a well-rounded individual with knowledge in many different disciplines. A science graduate would know quite a bit about literature, philosophy and the arts and vice versa. I suppose it was the point of calling the place of learning a “University” in the first place! Nowadays, most universities are geared towards producing graduates that are good in one area or discipline. The whole attitude towards gaining a degree is career motivated. Only few degrees are purely there for wider knowledge and even those are being phased out in most cases. The knowledge bit comes from the students themselves. Some seek knowledge and some just want to stick to the rigid curriculum of their degrees without deviating into other areas. For most though, the knowledge, the introduction to new ideas and different thought processes, comes from interacting with other students.

I despise Diracs. I just can’t stand seeing a Somali woman wearing one. The nice looking ones look good in them of course. But, that’s not why I dislike that revealing garment. I dislike it because it leaves nothing for the imagination. Everything is there for you to see! Even when women cover themselves up, it’s still too revealing. It’s the way it rests on a woman’s figure showing it in all its glory. In fact, I find a Dirac more revealing than a mini skirt and a see-through white blouse. In addition, a mini skirt (or any other sort of revealing garment) is hardly ever worn by “older” women. Everyone, even seventy-year-old women, wears a Dirac! My opposition to the Macawis is different; it’s more to do with shoes here. No type of footwear goes well with a Macawis. Trust me, nothing beat a safari suit, guys. Today, I'm wearing my shades, my old creased Macawis and because it's cold, I'm wearing my red football socks. :cool:

I’m not going to get bogged down in the religious discussion because by the look of it, and having read most of this thread, you guys are too emotional and angry (both sides). If you think the person on the other side is wrong, try to reason with them, try to work on your articulation of your point of view. If you start belittling each other’s comments and use putdowns and insults about each other’s intellect, the topic will get nowhere. Furthermore, one of you will sooner or later fall into the realms of “thanb/sin”. Lets try to be calmer and give the other side the benefit of the doubt. If they refuse what you believe to be the absolute truth, then maybe they’re misguided, maybe you didn’t explain your view clearly, maybe just maybe, you’re wrong! We’re all adults, we’re all Muslim and we should start giving each other the benefit of the doubt here, people. My only comment on this issue regards one of the sisters on here saying that having multiple wives is not right in THIS day and age! (Or something along these lines anyway). Surely “This day and age” has nothing to do with it! People change, cultures change, fashions change but Islam is the only constant. What was Halal and accepted practice back then has no reason not to be Halal and an accepted practice now too. I personally, at this point in time, would not consider marrying another wife but (and this is in reply to the points about wars and there being more women than men in the past), isn’t that also the case now for the Somali community? There is huge numbers of single mothers around; there are large numbers of single girls who are getting older by the day with no husbands in sight! Then there are all those women back home with also no husbands other than the old age pensioners! Some would argue that those single mothers are that way because they’ve married useless guys who ran off and left them in the lurch, or who were so bad the women had no choice other than to get rid of them. This is probably true in many cases. However, what do you think the response of these single mothers would be if an already married man who is good for his current family, a great father and a great husband to his current wife, proposed to them? I wonder if some of them would not jump at the chance. Some single mothers say their former husbands were useless and that if they were only half good they would have agreed to stay on with them! What if two women can share a 50% type of husband instead of one woman having a 10% one all to herself and moan about how bad he is? Instinct might say no, but we should not let instincts rule our heads. Like I said earlier, I personally would not contemplate marrying another wife but that’s probably because of the way I’m conditioned. I however, see no reason why others can’t, nor can I see a strong reason why a first wife would disapprove. Of course I don’t know what the future holds and I might change my mind in a few years time and start my search for wife number two, only Allah knows. I also like to add that I’m not a woman and cannot put myself in a woman’s shoes in this instance and work out why some women would refuse to share! I’m working from the concept that Somali guys are hardly home anyway. I apologise in advance if I offended any of you.

Mo, what’s wrong with your writing, man? One minute it’s clear and cohesive and then it all goes pear shaped! I’m not single, I’m not horny and I’m not female. But, since we’re in cyber space and you can’t really see me, I can be all three if you like. All you have to do is jot down your credit card details, lover boy.

If I was a girl, I’ll never leave my bedroom. ** Daydreams** ** Sighs ** ** Daydreams again ** ** Sighs some more ** ** Looks at mirror from a different angle ** ** Sighs ** ** Takes off dress and goes back to being a man ** Can’t miss the “torob” rematch in the maqaxi, man.

You guys can sit and dream about being the next president of Somalia. I set my sights a little higher. I’ll start with being the president of Africa for a while then I’ll fulfil my god given destiny of world domination. Whichever of you swears blind loyalty first will be given my Somali fiefdom as a reward. Hail the NGONGE. Oh wait, we live in the world dominated by liberal democracies! Got to change my game, man. Ok, here goes: Vote NGONGE, vote NGONGE..Free sack of Qat and tins of Unsi for every voter.

Nobody can explain hate; it’s an irrational emotion. The posters above who say they hate Ethiopians don’t seem to have really thought about the subject. How could you HATE all Ethiopians? Even if they took your land as you say, did every single Ethiopian person play a part in taking your land? Do they all know they’ve taken your land? We as Somalis seem to have this awful habit of hate. We hate Arabs, we hate gaalo, and we hate other Somalis. All it boils down to is false pride because when you sit down with one of these “haters” and discuss the matter with them in a logical and rational way, nine times out of ten their final conclusion will be that they hate nobody. Before I open my mouth offending others, I usually try to engage my brain (usually I said )

CK, sounds like a woman who knows what she wants. She wants his “Heart”. Once she gets that, she knows she’ll get everything else she wants. I personally think women want to mother us all. So, if you ever need to get them a gift they’ll love, forget about the diamonds, pearls, clothes and chocolates. That’s just par for the course. What you really need to get them to make them melt in your arms is a badly done, child like, drawing of a tree or a house! Then you can tell them that’s the house you’ll live in when you grew up. She’ll pinch your cheeks, ruffle your Afro and hug you till you can’t breath. Then she’ll parade you to all her girlfriends saying, “ isn’t he the sweetest thing ever?” Make sure none of your friends know about this or it’ll ruin your image

- In The Arc of Your Mallet - "In The Arc of Your Mallet Don't go anywhere without me. Let nothing happen in the sky apart from me, or on the ground, in this world or that world, without my being in its happening. Vision, see nothing I don't see. Language, say nothing. The way the night knows itself with the moon, be that with me. Be the rose nearest to the thorn that I am. I want to feel myself in you when you taste food, in the arc of your mallet when you work. When you visit friends, when you go up on the roof by yourself at night. There's nothing worse than to walk out along the street without you. I don't know where I'm going. You're the road and the knower of roads, more than maps, more than love." I read this poem in another website and thought some of you might like it. It’s by someone called “Rumi” a 13th century Persian poet, lawyer and Sufi.

This sounds like a timely reminder to all those quibbling elders to know that their country does not really exist! The Puntland gesture is futile and is not going to hurt Kenya in any way, shape or form. Like a little child protesting about some perceived injustice, they started stamping their feet and looking silly. As for the fake passports, it’s about time that someone had pointed out that problem to us all. There really should be some sort of UN travel document that allows people of messed up countries like Somalia to move around. Maybe then, we’ll wake up to the situation and realise how bad things are. It may also become an accidental way of getting rid of all those small time hustlers with delusions of grandeur. A combination of apathy and pride are a dangerous way to live your life.

Do the animal rights people know about your aviator, Shaabella?

Bambina, next time they ask you if you’re a man or a woman, tell them that you’re a highly intelligent parrot who uses its owner’s computer when he/she is not looking. Seriously though, people will always ask to know your gender. It’s a natural curiosity. I bet even you yourself wondered about a few people when you liked the way they wrote on online chat rooms. I know this girl/guy that I’ve been talking to for a few months now. I’m not sure of his/her gender. So, sometimes I’ll flirt with him and her and sometimes I’ll discuss topics, which I usually feel comfortable only discussing with men! It’s only words on a screen, words on a screen.

I assumed "objectionable language" to be swear words and vulgar insults. I can’t see the point of a discussion board if people are not able to discuss things and disagree, argue and fall out. I’m sure adults can handle the odd witty putdown and come back with something similar. Not that I’m encouraging any of that. Like I said, I doubt the request to refrain from the use of objectionable language relates to having a difference of opinion with others. I could be proved wrong of course, but then I’ll have to tie a virtual robe round my neck and jump of the longest thread on this board.

I’m allergic to “diricss” and “macawis” and I know that most other traditional forms of clothing are not really practical for the times & places we live in. What do you think will make a great Somali national dress? The thuggish hip-hop attire? The Italian style fashion? Or, as I believe, the good old Safari suit for men and Asian sarwal qamees (The two-part costume consisting of a long shirt and baggy trousers for women)? I originally thought of T-shirts and shorts for men and black diving suits for women. But somehow, I don’t think the women will approve of the men’s shorts.