Good girl. Now, remember what I taught you; you separate the jaat into equal groups of orbitos and cut the robes with your new scissors. When you’re done, hurry up and get me my Shah Bagees. That’s a good girl.

Tweetie, QKH knows her limits. She only snips minor league Faraxs. When it comes to the few advanced Faraxs like myself, she can’t help but sit at our feet and stare up in awe and admiration. She’s a good girl our Qaxooti. You better have a seat next to her, dear :rolleyes:

Did you know that 77% of the price of petrol in the UK is DUTY(Tax)? In the US it’s only 22%. Gordon Brown is planning to add 2 Pence on the duty on Petrol. If things carry on as they are, inflation will rise as a result of Transport companies passing on the cost to their customers. If you’ve got a belt, you’d better start practising tightening it. :rolleyes:

^^^ I feel your pain, sister. Anyway, why would you want to be friends with a man? :eek:

Again, you’re all missing the point I was trying to make. :mad: Oh, I give up.

Today, while RudeBoy and the gang were standing outside the Maqaaxi and horse playing around they pumped into one of the newly arrived Holland girl’s. The girl mutters something in Dutch under her breath then says “ na ga baydh, farax yahoo”. Cali Ceyal growls at her, Stockholm wolf-whistles and Dhul-Dhaqaaqi smiles at her and winks(continuously). The angry girl and her giggling friends carry on walking when Cali Ceyal shouts after her saying that she dropped a Shilin. She turns round, walks right up to him and starts berating him in Dutch and Somali. Dhul-Dhaqaaqi repositions himself between them, still winking and says to her “inadeer, maxad la qaylinaysa?” Stockholm pushes him out the way and says “ walaal, kuwano waa badow, qaylada iska jooji oo RUSTOKH!” The girl stops in her tracks and starts talking to him in Dutch. Stockholm gains in confidence and carries on having a conversation with her while everyone else stares at them and wonders what’s being said. Suddenly, the girl starts slapping Stockholm around and swearing at him in Dutch and saying “bila edaab” in Somali! He moves out of her range and then says “ Naaa ma anaad I dhirbaxaysa? Hadaanan calausha kaga joogsan, bal sug” and he lungs at her! RudeBoy finally intervenes and while holding Stockholm back from the girl starts saying to him: What’s wrong wid you, blud? You can’t be a Nácas and beat a girl up like dat, blud. Stockholm tells him that he does not care if she’s a girl or a man “ no one slaps me around like dat, blud. I’s gonna teach dis girl manners, ya get me?” RudeBoy, tells the girl to walk away and leave them but she insists that she wants to fight Stockholm. Dhul-Dhaqaaqi sees his opportunity to get close to the girl. He stands in front of her and while still winking and holding his arms an inch away from her chest, says “ walaal, dhagaalko waa ceeb” The girl realises Dhul-Dhaqaaqi’s creepy plan and takes a few steps back while still threatening Stockholm with the beating of his life. Dhul- Dhaqaaqi does not relent, he still carries on walking forward with his arms still an inch away from her chest and the girl keeps retreating. The girl finds herself pinned to the wall with the winking Dhul-Dhaqaaqi still walking forward, winking, smiling and still moving his arms forward! He “accidentally” brushes his hand against her chest! She “accidentally” knees him in the groin and in her panic, carries on slapping and kicking him to the ground! Meanwhile, RudeBoy is still trying to persuade Stockholm not to start a fight with a girl. Stockholm says “ look, blud, look! Dat crazy girl is beatin up Dhul-Dhaqaaqi, blud!” RudeBoy leaves Stockholm and runs to stop the girl from kicking his friend. He starts roaring, screaming and clapping his hands loudly to make it sound as if he’s slapping someone. The girl gets scared, stops kicking the guy on the floor and cowers in the corner. RudeBoy stops his roars and screams and slowly approaches the girl. He tells her not to panic and that he has no “beef” with her then starts telling her about his friends: Listen yeah, dese boys are good boys, ya get me? Dey were only tryin to get your attention and chat you up, yeah so dere was no need for you to get upset and start a fight, blud! Besides, you is a girl, you supposed to be sensitive like a Obax not crazy like a wet bisaad! Lets start again, yeah? I’s Abdi yeah, da guy on da floor is Faisal and da one speaks Dutch is Yassin. Cali is da guy sitting down, yeah? So, now I tells ya my and my boys names, how abouts ya tell me yours, blud? The girl tells him she sees no reason why she should tell him her name and that she just wants to walk away with her friends. RudeBoy replies: No reason? What do you mean no reason, blud? We all Dhaqan Celis yeah, we should stick together, ya get me? Plus, you is a beautiful Somalian girl and I likes to know all da names of da beautiful Somalian girls I’s see. Don’t mean I want to chat ya up or fall in love wid you, yeah..i’s just like to know, blud. The girl gives in and says “ ok, ok, magacaygo waa Farax”. RudeBoy nods with appreciation while Dhul-Dhaqaaqi who’s still getting up and dusting himself, laughs sarcastically and says “ ma tana Farax? Ma bahashan dadka la dhagalamaysa?” RudeBoy looks around him and notices the other girls standing to the side and not getting involved. He notices that his friends are all starting to crowed the girl again so he says: Walal, it was nice meeting you and maybe we can meet up and chat again when there is less people about, ya get me? But now you better join your girls and be on your way, I’s don’t want you to start fighting my boys again, blud. Stockholm sniggers and says to the girl “it was nice to get physical wid you, blud..maybe we can do it again some adar time, ya get me?”. The girl walks off and the boys gather round RudeBoy and all try to tell him at once that they’re going to make that girl theirs. RudeBoy replies: You give me joke, blud, you give me joke. Da girl beat all of yous big mens up, ya get me? She dissed you, man, she dissed. How can you turn round and tells me she’s going to be yours? Naah blud, dis one girl is going to be mine, ya get me? MINE.

lol@dealer. Sounds like a plastic surgeon :rolleyes: Word: Haad I’m now running on empty. I think haad is a kind of bird (might be wrong, in which case I’ll blame your bad spelling ). Haado woo dhoolay.(The haad(whatever bird that is) flew). New word : Qori

Should be staying away from this site while at work? Yarko mala xummad ba haysa! :eek: I change my clotes everyday by ka si daran :eek:

Labadayda ruugba waa wax qalalan oo madow = [both] my knees are dry and black. To which I would answer, cocoa butter creme will sort that out in a jiffy. Just make sure to use it every night, eh? Wax qalalan oo madow wala cream wala dhaktar ba wax o tari kara. Ducada budso, walaal. :rolleyes: Shacab = Nation. Shacabka indha yarta wax ka badan maba jiran.(there is no nation bigger than the Chinese nation) New word = faynoos

It seems you and I are walking on the same road but on different sides! Wont you cross to my side? It’s much cooler in the shade you know. I’m neither surprised nor shocked that this guy decided to go on this show. I’m sure thousands of other Somalis(and Muslims) thought of doing the same thing. I already said I agree that we should remind, teach and preach every single day of the year (ourselves and others). However, you underestimate the power the medium of Television has. I’m not particularly fussed with Ahmed but the fact that he’s a Muslim and he’s on TV makes him a focal point on which to remind ourselves of all that is going wrong with our Islamic(and Somali) societies. You’re right, talk alone is not enough, and action is also required. But, what sort of action? Doing the right thing and hoping people would follow? People need reminding, we all do. Allah(swt) did by sending us more than one messenger. In his holy book, he did not only ask us to submit and follow his commandments, he gave us examples, lessons and stories of people before us that either followed or didn’t and the things that happened to them as a consequence. When we need to explain to someone the ills of homosexuality, we mention “Qoom Loot”. We do that to force the point we’re making home. When we need to tell people about the virtues of patience we mention Nabi Ayuub,etc. Now, in no way am I going to compare our feeble human endeavours to those of the All Mighty(swt), but if we follow the same logic and attempt to encapsulate the unfortunate state our Muslim(and Somali) world is in, wouldn’t Ahmed be the perfect example? Wouldn’t Iman or Warse be the same. Ahmed more so because he’ll be in our faces for at least another week. :mad:

My Somali knowledge is being stretched to the limit here! Dalxiis = Holiday (or some sort of tourism) En aan Dalxiiso ayaan o bahanahay.( I need a holiday?). Time to see if you know your Knee from your elbow. New word = Ruug.

Then lets also agree that Mike Tyson is a Muslim .Ngonge pal..he claims to be one.islam does not require you to be only verbally...but submission.Which brings me to my next question..if Ahmed was atheist and a Somali will your position have been different. As for the youth and children the problem exists I agree with you but the influential factors are beyond the Imans, Waresis and Ahmeds. Sometimes the militancy in some of us encourage them,the youth and children, to burst out. Instilling in the mind of those growing that they have the best alternatives is better than threatening them with hell-fire if they cross the line. If Ahmed was an atheist and a Somali I would still use the opportunity to remind myself and others of our religion. With the youth, it’s not an argument of hell fire if you cross the line or anything of that sort. It’s just the simple facts that you and I take for granted. In an everyday way of talking and preaching to kids, you probably would mention all the basics and what is right or wrong. But no matter how hard you do it you can’t paint an exact picture of what you’re getting at. With our dear Ahmed here, you’ve got a talking, walking naked example that you could point at and say that’s a no no. I’ve worked with many Somali kids in various youth clubs and despite spending most of their times in malcamdo and the like, they still have problems distinguishing between what is Islamiclly acceptable and what is not. It’s these examples that help us to explain and show them that they’re wrong and why they are wrong. PS Fortunately, not many people take Mike Tyson seriously. :rolleyes:

I agree that it should be done 365 days a year but we all know it’s not realistically possible to do so and even if it is, the constant repetition will put people off listening to the message or make them take it for granted. This would also apply to the examples you gave. But, lets say one of these ladies gets arrested for her lies, then you would have a perfect opportunity to remind people of how bad that practise is. The same applies to Jaat chewing guys going mad or beer drinking youth having driving accidents. It’s major occasions such as these that make people stop and take notice. Shrugging our shoulders and saying “it’s his choice” or “ we’re not perfect ourselves” hugely misses the point.

Citizenship? Damn those Somali passport are dirt-cheap these days, no wonder they got banned. By the way, you seem to be in a talkative mood today, you've already exceeded your 1.8 average posts per month in June and it's only the first! :eek: :eek: Ah, but of course, in the Summer you don't need to worry about gas bills, eh? Post away, dear, post away. :rolleyes:

Here is a deal, you get me my macawis on time and I’ll direct towards a few Faraxs in desperate need of hearing the click of your scissors. ** whispers ** One of them goes by the name of Jumatatu. * Snip Snip *

macawis beel! xaarka aa kugu dhego ala, you're ruining my habaar, woman. Calusho ku socte oo xaarka kugu dheg(one has to cancel the other out, otherwise it wont be nice). Hurry up with that macawis dee. :rolleyes:

What he is doing in BB has nothing to do with Islam and its principles. And BB is not a convention for people of diiferent religions to present their case. It is a low, degrading and worthless piece of entertainement. What am trying to stir away from Ngonge is to attach to Ahmed, though he claims to be, the Moslem religion. Which brings to my point and have to agree with you, is he hypocrit? Yes. So lets not make him a loss to us, but rather to himself. :mad: Third time lucky?(lucky that I keep a copy, huh?) Here is where we part ways. You’re trying to move away from the fact that he’s a Muslim while I’m basing my entire argument on that fact! See, it’s not this particular individual that I have a problem with(although I do of course), it’s the image he’s portraying. When we see such images of fellow “Muslims” we have to talk about them and make our views heard not condone them. We live in this environment. We have children that will grow up in this environment and many adults that think that such images are acceptable. In fact, your attitude is only slightly better than those who actually support him because he’s a SOMALI! If we were living back in Somali or in a Muslim place I wouldn’t worry too much about this. I’d treat it as an isolated case of a confused Somali in gaalo lands. I’d know the society I live in would reject such images and banish them to the sidelines. But, we don’t live in Somalia, we live in the West. We don’t have the comfort or unity of a society to back us up when faced with such dilemmas. We have to scream and shout every time we see the Imans, Warses or this Ahmed. We have to remind our impressionable youth and ourselves that this is not the right way to go about doing things. The opportunities to educate and remind ourselves of our obligations and morals are usually rare. This is a perfect opportunity to tell our youth and lost adults NOT TO DO WHAT AHMED DOES.

Heh. They should have an award for the best scam. This is the best I've seen so far.

quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by NGONGE: Has anyone noticed how most of the tips on this thread are dodgy and dishonest ones? Are we a nation of fraudsters? No offence intended just a general question. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- they been screwin us left right and centre...its about time we got hang of the game... That’s not much of an argument, Pearl dear. We’re supposed to have principles(supposed I say, supposed!). Why don’t we stick with genuine, legal and morally acceptable tips instead of spreading even more Mosoq Maasiq. I’m sure all of our nice, innocent and law-abiding nomads in here don’t want to be corrupted in such a way.

I see a lot of people arguing for the man’s “choice”! This idea of choice is going to get us into all sorts of philosophical discussions about the nature of choice. I don’t want to start that though. I’m following Seven of Nine’s argument of hypocrisy. The guy seems to be confused about the meaning of being a Muslim (I’m being very generous here). It’s not for me to say if he is one or not. We’re all sinners in one-way or another. However, there are basics of Islam that even the uneducated generation of the Somali civil war know about; YOU. DON’T. WALK. AROUND. NAKED in the presence of others! I seriously question the ability of a Muslim to be in such a show while being true to his principles and beliefs. We all have choices, we can be gay, we can commit adultery and we can drink alcohol if we so choose. But, we can’t choose to do all these things and choose to be Muslim at the same time. Some speak about the interpretation of Islam in different people’s eyes. Well, people are not the same in what they see and perceive and there will always be a difference of interpretation. The basics can’t be disputed though. Islam means submission to the will of Allah(swt). To submit is to give in, to forsake all the wishes and desires that are not compatible with the guidelines set in this religion. These are the basics of the religion and if people start arguing over the basics we will soon find ourselves going down the same root the Anglican church is going through where some people have tried to dilute(the already diluted) Bible and introduce gay clergy! You interpret things that you’re given scope to interpret; Things that require “Ijtehad”(endeavour) on the part of the scholars. But, to argue that a man walking around naked and mingling with homosexuals is a matter of interpretation and choice, therefore it’s ok, is even worse( and more worrying) than what this guy is doing! Again, what he does as an individual is his choice and his alone, but what gets people to worry about such things and criticise them is not to judge the guy himself but to preserve the religion. Every time we see a Muslim in such a situation we have to remind each other that this is not the way things should be lest we all end up relaxing and accepting this as being OK. :mad:

Today, Xaaji Abukur-Dhaqan-Yaqaan woke up early to pray Fajar and read a few verses of the Quran. After he finished, he sat for a bit thinking of the day ahead when RudeBoy burst into the room! He was soaking wet with sweat and kept on running around the room and hobbling on one foot! Xaaji Abukur sat still, staring at him and wondering what is the matter with the boy. Finally, Rudeboy noticed the old man and started talking quickly: Adeer yeah, adeer I’s dreamt dat I’s was dead, blud. I’s was blown up like a suicide bomber wid no Yehoodi on sight, blud! I’s was sure dat da land mine killed me, blud. Qowrac for real, adeer! I’s woke up in da same Qol and I’s wondered if dis is what dey call a after life, Xaaji. When I see dat it was no different to da old life I’s knew it was all a dream, blud. It was like a out of body experience like dem programs I’s seen on channel Five, blud. The old man shook his head slowly and proceeded to remind Rudeboy why he advised him not to mix with the Ceyaal Sooq and how they scared him witless with their tales of land mines and Qaaxi. Rudeboy stopped jumping around the room and looked the old man straight in the eyes then said: Xaaji! What you sayin, blud? You sayin I’s a baby who hears stories about monsters and land mines yeah, and I’s gets scared and dream of dem at night? I’s almost a grown man, blud. I’s told you a million times, I’s a thug, blud, I’s. A. THUG! Everybody dreams, adeer. Don’t mean dey is Folay, ya get me? I’s seen Rambo in dat film First Dheeg. He was a bad boy you know, he killed hundreds of da bad guys single-handed, ya get me? But one time, when he was sleeping yeah, he woke up wid a bad dream blud, ya get me? He even looked scared, man. I’s was not even scared wid my dream, ya get me? Amyways, I’s too young to die, blud, TOO young to DIE. I’s still need to leave my mark on da Adoonka, ya get me? Ok, ok, I’s left my mark wid my girlfriend Tracy back in England and now have a nice blue eyes Somalian baby but dat’s not enough, blud. One a dem days I’s gonna be Africa’s answer to Che Guevara blud, ya get me? I’s gonna liberate Africa from da cadaan man dem. Why you smiling for, blud? Ya don’t believe me? It’s cool though, ya get me, it’s cool. Like dat Television commercial says “dey all laughed at Einstein when he said da earth was round... but haa haa haa who got da last laugh now”. When I fulfil my destiny, you will not be laughing, blud. You will be telling every Odey and Eslan you meet dat you is my adeer, ya get me? I’s gonna be like Nelson Mandela, da original thug, ya get me? Amyways, xaaji, amyways, if Hoyo phones don’t tell her about my dream, aight? I’s gonna have a shower den I’s gonna go meet my boys and chill in da maqaaxi, adeer. Peace. Somali Dallas, blud.

Ah, in that case, with everything being equal, I would probably want to live in Dubai.

I think most people would want to live in a safe place that is also compatible with their beliefs, cultures and lifestyle. I'd want to live in a safe Muslim country that allows me the freedom to be myself. As for criticising leaders, well, people should have the freedom to criticise any type of injustice they perceive. It's not as if any of our criticisms and complaints are being heard, man. Just like the two Ants under the tree who are wolf whistling and shouting obscenities at the bird on the tree; they're not loud enough to be heard or big enough to feel threatened by! One Ant says to the other, "I can see the filthy bird's backside from here!"

Heh. Great story, man. I don't know about many guys marrying themselves but (the minors in here might want to avert their gaze at this point ) I sure know of a few that live in sin with themselves. :rolleyes:

I say allegedly cause there are many people like NGONGE who have never been to Somalia came here to apply for asylum claiming to be Somalis. loooooooooooooooooooooooooooool Jumatatu, you're right saxib. But, I was born in Somalia and when I do return to Burco there will be much rejoicing. :rolleyes: As for this guy, well, I can't see much I could support him on. Sharing the same nationality is not enough. Sharing the same religion is not enough. In fact, I received a couple of phone calls from old university friends telling me they thought that guy was me when they read that he was a somali! (As if!). :mad: I'm not sure if you watched the show but this guy was sitting in the jacuzzi naked! NAKED! He claims to be a homophobe yet he can't keep his hands off all those gays and lesbians! He even hugged the transsexual! For a small nation on the outskirts of Africa we sure make the loudest noise, man. How come I never hear of any Bolivians or Chinese, yet everytime I switch my TV on, there is some somali face staring back at me? :confused: