Aeryn Sun, This question can also apply to men. Everyone is 16 years olds really. They just have more experience (and probably more wrinkles). There is nothing extra that you need to do or feel. One day you’ll become a mother, you’ll be responsible for a small family but you’ll still be the 16-year-old girl that you’ve always been. Time will pass and you’ll become a grandmother, you’ll act all serious and tell your 16-year-old granddaughters to behave and be responsible, but you yourself will still be that 16-year-old girl that you’ve always been. When people refer to you, they’ll refer to you as a woman but you’ll still get a shock every time you hear it. There is nothing for you to really worry about here; it’s natural to wonder about such things. Be happy and stay feeling sixteen. Just don’t do what they do. You’re too long in the tooth to start experimenting with drugs

I find the modesty of Somali women amusing. The poor unsuspecting brothers fall for it too. Such sweet and innocent questions like “ Ladies, would you propose?†as if things are really that simple. As if the Somali women sit back and wait for a stubborn guy to get the hint and propose when he’s ready. As if it’s not them who really RUN the show and TELL you when you’re ready to propose. Usually, it’s the girls who propose. They do it by playing hard to get and words such as “ warya, maxad na mooday? Saaxiib, saaxiib anako ma naqaanâ€, She will not mention marriage but she’ll fix the boundaries, the trap for the poor unsuspecting Don Juan to fall into. A few lucky brothers manage to escape from the clutches of these black widows. The majority though, give up and in order to give their vulnerability some cloak of respectability, they propose! Trust me, it is really the women who propose first. They do it the minute they open the doors to that coop and lure the men in. they don’t call the institution of marriage The Golden Cage for nothing, you know. :rolleyes:

This weekend, I was going to treat myself to a great trip to the Zoo. I’ve been looking forward to this trip for weeks. I was planning to leave the wife and kids at home. This was going to be my secret. No friends were going to know. No family were going to go. Just me alone amongst the beasts! I woke up very early on Saturday morning and had a quick and simple breakfast. I got dressed. I picked up an empty rucksack and loaded it with pens, paper, tissue, a baseball cap and a small towel. I have no idea why I decided to take these items with me! It’s not as if it was going to be a picnic or anything! I got ready to go out when the wife confronted me by the doorway. She asked me where I was going. I didn’t want to lie to her but I also didn’t want to tell her the truth. It was a nice and sunny day and I knew if I told her the truth that she’ll ask me to take the kids with me. I didn’t want to take the kids. This was my treat not theirs. I wanted to laugh and pull faces at the lions. I wanted to pretend to hold an invisible joystick and move it about outside the chimp’s cage. I wanted to enjoy myself without having to worry about young infants crying for the toilet, drinks or ice cream. I wanted to tiptoe around the snakes without having to act the fearless adult. Today, I was going to be the only child not the daddy. She was standing there watching me and repeating the questions with her eyes. I said, “I’m going to visit a friend†she said “ what friend?†I said “ an old friend that you don’t know†she said “How come you didn’t tell me about all of this earlier?†I said “I’m telling you now!†she said “ Yeah but that’s only because I caught you sneaking out†I said “ I wasn’t sneaking out†she said “If you were not sneaking out why didn’t you come to the living room and say goodbye then?†I said “do I always have to say goodbye when I’m going out? What if I was going to the shop round the corner?†she said “ but you’re not going to the shop, are you?†I said “ no, but what if I were, do I have to say goodbye too?†she said “ no, that would be silly. If you were going to the shop you would come and ask me if I needed anything†I said “ Is there anything you need from the shop then?†she said “no†I said “ goodbye then†she said “what time should I expect you back?†I said, “don’t know, early evening maybe,†she said “ early evening? This must be a very good friend that you’re going to see!†I said “ yeah, king of the jungle†she looked puzzled. I ran off before she could ask me any more questions. I walked to the station. I was very excited. The station was closed. ****** engineering work! I went to the bus stop and jumped on a bus to the next underground station. The bus hardly moved. There seemed to be some sort of road accident ahead. Twenty minutes later and the bus still hadn’t moved. I decided to get of and walk. It started raining. I was soaking wet. I started thinking to myself ‘ I bet she cursed me’. I turned around and started to walk back towards home. I still had enough time. I’m going to tell her the truth. Get her blessings. Go out again and hopefully the rain would have stopped by then, the traffic cleared and maybe even my local station would be open. I got home and rang the bell. I had my own keys but I just like the sound of the bell ringing. She opened the door, scowled at me and ran back in. I followed her in. There was lots of crying and screaming. She shouted “ don’t just stand there, help me outâ€. I didn’t know what was going on. I went over to the baby and picked him up. He stopped crying. My middle daughter came running and started shouting “ NO! NO!†I asked my wife what’s going on but she ignored me. My eldest came running and sat on my other side. She looked at me with a big wide smile on her face and said, “ I vomited on the carpetâ€. I asked her if she was ill and she said no. I asked her why did she vomit then and she said, “ Because it’s funâ€. Her sister started feeling jealous and wanted to get my attention. She started making some funny sounds. I laughed. She got upset. I kissed her and laughed again. She hit her sister. The baby started crying. They both started crying while still trying to hit each other. I almost felt like crying. My wife who was still trying to clean the soaked carpet started telling me to “ do something!†I screamed. They all stopped crying. I screamed again. The girls laughed and my wife got upset and called my childish. I wasn’t going to go to the Zoo anymore. I’ll do it next week instead. I’m still not taking any of them with me though.

Last night, I went to bed early. This was the first time I managed to do that in months. I lay down in bed and sat waiting for sweet lady sleep to come over and engulf me with her relaxing caresses. She stood me up! I twisted, I turned, and I counted sheep, counted goats and kicked the green bottles of the wall. I still could not sleep. I covered my face with a big blanket and hidden every last trace of light from my eyes. I also managed to keep the air out. A minute later, I jumped up throwing the blanket away and breathing heavily. I decided to have a warm bath, maybe that will help me sleep. I filled the bath, poured some of that salty aromatic stuff in it and got in. I sat splashing about in the bath for a full half hour but didn’t feel relaxed at all. I started singing to myself. I picked up my kid’s plastic ducks and attempted to recreate a famous sea battle in which the duck on the left defeated the mighty armada. I came out of the bath happy and relaxed. I went back to bed. Lay down and shut my eyes. Sleep was still not forthcoming. I thought of taking a sleeping pill. I worried that I wont wake up on time if I took one. I spent a couple of minutes weighing my options and finally decided to take the sleeping pill. I got up and went searching in the medicine cabinet. My wife who was awake watching TV and feeding the baby, asked me what I was looking for. I told her that I was looking for sleeping pills. She said “Why?†I said, “ Because I’m trying to sleepâ€. She said, “Have you tried having a nice bath?†I said, “Yes. What else do you think I was doing in there for the past hour?†She said, “ Don’t shout at me, I was only trying to helpâ€. I said “Sorry†She said, “Have you tried having a warm glass of milk?†I said, “I hate milkâ€. She said, “It will help you sleepâ€. I said, “I hate milkâ€. She said, “If you’re not going to take my advice, why did you ask for it?†I said, “ I didn’tâ€. She said, “ You didâ€. I said, “ I only asked you where the sleeping pills wereâ€. She said, “ We don’t have any sleeping pills, we never haveâ€. I said, “Why didn’t you say that earlier then instead of this long pointless discussionâ€. She said “ Just because you can’t sleep it doesn’t mean you can take it out on meâ€. I said, “ I’m not, I’m just asking a simple questionâ€. She said, “ Look, I don’t have time to argue with you I’m trying to feed the baby hereâ€. I said, “ I’m not looking for an argument either, I just want to sleepâ€. She said, “ So it’s my fault that you can’t sleep now?†I walked away. I heard her saying, “ Yeah, yeah, start an argument then walk away when you lose itâ€. I went to bed angry and wanting to go back and re-win the pointless argument. I didn’t want her to think that she beat me. I kept thinking of all the things I would say and all the sarcastic remarks I would make. I fell asleep thinking. This morning, she wasn’t talking to me. I pretended I didn’t notice. I’m going to avoid her all day and night. When it’s bedtime again, I’m going to start another pointless argument with her.

To use a cliche, "last but not least" Ngnone: As the rabble say, "I gave you the benefit of the doubt". Whilst I perused your writing, (perhaps I should call it "free-writing") I was under the impression ("delusion" would be the appropriate diction here) that your seemingly aimless and futile pieces were, in fact, "genuine insights" to the human psyche, all the while, expressed in a simple and unconvoluted manner. For the "quintillionth" time, this (i.e. my posts) is not an ostentacious gesture of reproval; this is not an grandiloquent langugage enveloped in a "caustic" cover; this is not an attempt to "score points" (*note the repetition). The charge is thus: the baro group are guilty of posting in cognitive propositions (i.e. the color of 9 is blue) while you are guilty of posting material with little, as Chomsky would say, "fruit value". This, my venerated freind, serves no "fruitful" purpose. It seems that when they gave you that tin of alphabet spaghetti to consume, they forgot to accompany it with a manual, saaxib! You’re trying to say one thing but your manner of writing and delivery says something totally different. You claim that your comments are not intended as a “grandiloquent language enveloped in aâ€caustic†coverâ€, but your words let you down. Now, if your words were directed at a mere simple soul, he would have taken offence and retaliated with a long post full of venom and malice. Luckily (for you), I’m not the spiteful type. I can see that this is a cry for help on your part. You’ve read my words, attempted to analyse them, dissect them and tear them apart in the vain hope of finding one tiny sparkle of wisdom to satisfy your inquisitive mind. Alas, you looked in all the wrong places. In your reply, you accidentally used words that were closer to the truth than you realise, you’ve used words such as “aimless†and “futile†but you didn’t strive to think a bit more about them. Once you’ve reached that end you decided to turn around and look elsewhere. Well, let me guide you; come back to the purposeless part, analyse it further. Read all the pieces again, tell me what do you see? You see aimlessness, you see pointlessness, you see no meaning and no detail. Now, and this is the knockout blow, go and read the TITLE of the thread. It’s called BOREDOM . Are you seriously that surprised that it would describe tedium ? You talk about the lack of “fruit value†but this was not an educational post. Most of those that replied to it could easily work out what my aim was. Some actually believed I was THAT bored. Others knew it was a surreal attempt at describing boredom. You seem to have missed the whole point (even though it was right there in front of your eyes). What I find surprising in all of this is that someone actually read those words, didn’t get any of it, felt BORED by it but instead of using the only cure known to man for boredom (letting your imagination run free), decided to adhere to strict text book rules of analysing and ticking some imaginary list for “fruit value†and some such nonsense! Feel bored but don’t BE a bore, saaxib. Still, since you insist on realizing some extra “fruitful purpose†out of this thread, I’ll expect you, in your next reply, to furnish us with your educational ideas on the subject of boredom. Oh, just in case someone dozes off while reading it, please endeavour to sprinkle it with some instances of originality. *** Starts to feel bored with the whole pointless argument *** *** Picks nose and wonders what the snot would taste like *** :rolleyes:

I don’t believe it! A Somali person refusing the offer of a free dishwasher? Ala maxaa la kibray!

^^^ Do I give you that impression? Do you find it attractive? Are you willing to wait for twenty years or so? If you answered YES to the above questions then CONGRATULATIONS , dear. You have won a top of the range Toshiba dishwasher and a chance for your name to be entered into the NGONGE MEGA DRAW !

^^^^ lol edabta waa loo bahanahay lakin horta ii sheeg..ninkano woxo qoray wax ma ka fahantay, ninyaho? I phoned Burco last month to tell them that I'm planning to visit for a week in November, saaxib. A guy I don't know picked up the phone and ended up having an argument with me. Some of it was "kuftan" and some of it was real. I told him that I changed my mind and that I'm going to Dubai instead. He said he wasn't surprised at all, I sounded like an Arab anyway. PS If I do go, I’m going to beat that guy up.

Some people have the intellectual credentials and capacity but fall well short when it comes to having the talent for leadership. If there are Somali intellectuals who also are potential good leaders I suspect we would have seen or heard of them by now. So, lets assume there are none. Lets also assume that there is actually an active group of Somali “intellectualsâ€. In my honest personal opinion, their role should be to advance and promote “new†ideas (or at least new ways of looking at ideas). They need to create the atmosphere with their writings or action for an “uneducated†leader and nation to follow. If their work is positive and sincere it will get through to the masses regardless of them assuming leadership or not. In a way, this is also what you’ve said at the start of your article, “Why do the supposedly illuminated men remain in this dark room?†It might be the case that they need an “electrician†to light up this room for them. They can harp on about the magnificence of light. They can theorise, rationalise and reflect while the “electrician†gets on with the practical activity of installing that light. They need to become “Gurus†which leaders and populace alike can refer back to for guidance and enlightenment. They need to be like Arthur’s Merlin but if one of them happens to be “Arthur†then we’ve really hit the jackpot. I’ve only read your post once and these were the first ideas that came to my mind. I’ll probably change my mind about them in a couple of hours when I’ve had time to really “read†the article. Looking forward to your next segment.

^^^Oh! Oh! I missed that one. Let me try to explain the obvious to the brother. I’ll do my own bit of scrutinising now. Heh. I really do not apprehend and/or comprehend, for the life of me, as to the possible reasons, if there be any, behind the intitiating of threads of this nature. Don’t apprehend, comprehend or call a friend, saaxib. All you had to do is READ the title. I have analysed the posts of our esteemed brother, but I have failed to find any "subtelties"; I have analysed the posts of our esteemed brother, but I have failed to discern any "esoteric" meaning; I have analysed the posts of our esteemed brother, but I have failed to find any "meaning". You sound even more bored than I am, saaxib. Take a leaf from my book and publish your analysis. This is perchance a "idle" attempt at humour. Well, I am trying very hard to laugh. Shall we get into a philosophical discussion about laughter? No, no need for a discussion. Lets keep it simple, if you find it funny laugh away, if you don’t, then, erm, don’t. Trying and laughter should never be mixed or the whole thing would look false. P.S. Someone has to restore the waning "mental equilibrium" of this thread. Never fear, saaxib. I’m back to restore whatever needs restoring. I made it my duty to remind all the analy retentive people in SOL of the importance of the simple things in life. We can all build great houses of cards and act the pseudo-intellectual but most don’t bother because there aren’t any points to be scored here. As someone on another forum once said, “ It’s a discussion forum, it’s not a degree in being a show-ofâ€. Having said that, I reserve the right to show of as and when it pleases me. This is not because I’m competing with anyone on here, far from it, people. I’m only doing this to kick-start your thoughts and persuade you to follow suit with something that’s originally yours, not to cut and paste other people’s words. For I’m the beacon that will light up your imaginations, unfurl your sails and fill them with the wind of creativity. Don’t be afraid, don’t be embarrassed or worry about feeling silly. Experiment, bring your ideas to the fore and talk rubbish if you have to. You’re anonymous, nobody knows you here and you need not prove yourself to anyone. If you find it hard to let go of your natural introversion, don’t worry; I do personal coaching sessions too. We’ll have you talking rubbish in no time. ** Takes a step back and looks at the thread ** ** Smiles contentedly at the restoration of the mental equilibrium **

Today was a good day. It was one of those rare days when everything goes so smoothly it makes you wonder where the trouble is going to come from. I woke up before the alarm. I didn’t have to look for the towels when I went to have a shower. I managed to get the bus the minute I reached the bus stop, and best of all I managed to get a seat on the train! I was so happy with this petty treat that I kept smiling at all the people sitting opposite me. Some smiled back, some looked right through me and others tried to avoid my gaze nervously. I started wondering about each one of them. How many grandchildren did the old men opposite me have? Was he ever married? What if he was gay? He smiled back at me as I had that thought. I panicked, didn’t want to encourage him and moved my eyes to the woman sitting next to him. She was blonde, had a pretty face and amazing blue eyes. I couldn’t stop myself. I kept staring at her. She stared back. A naughty thought crossed my mind. I decided not to look away. Let her look away first. I’m going to make her blush. She didn’t look away. I started searching her eyes for a sign. Wonder what she’s thinking of right now! She probably was thinking the same thing. I found myself getting lost in those lovely blue eyes. She was sitting too far away for me to see my reflection in her eyes. I looked at her left eye. The pupil looked like a tiny island in a sea of blue. I started thinking of poems and songs about someone drowning in the eyes of his beloved. Now I know what they meant by that. It made great sense to me. I sighed. She blinked. I panicked. Did she read my thoughts? I don’t love her. I don’t even know her. I lost the competition. I lowered my gaze. I quickly stole one last glance. She had what looked like a triumphant smile on her face. She could read my mind after all! I didn’t want to play anymore. I looked at the woman sitting next to her. She was wearing glasses. She didn’t look back. She was reading a book: A suitable Boy. I felt sorry for her. The book was a thousand pages long but the ending was not worth the effort. I looked away quickly before I could blurt out my thoughts. The eye woman was still staring at me. I looked down at my feet nervously. There was some sort of white dot on my shiny black shoe! I wondered what that was, how did it get there? It looked like saliva. Somebody spat on my shoe? I felt embarrassed. Tried to cross my legs clumsily. I failed. That woman was still staring at me. How rude. I wished I had a bag or newspaper to hide my spit covered shoe with. I had two more stops to go. Six full minutes of embarrassment! I closed my eyes and pretended that I wasn’t on a train. I pretended that I was in the cinema. The seats were comfortable. The atmosphere was cool. I don’t know if it was the thought of comfortable seats in a dark room that did it but when I opened my eyes next, I had missed my stop (and the four after that too).

^^^ waar waa ruuntee dee..If you act like the biggest qaldaan from burco you would scare the hell out of reer hargisa, reer xamar and reer London too. In fact, once you get used to the burco style you'll find all the others very tame in comparison.

I'd have put Jr. somewhere where he wouldn't trip over his over-inflated ego and pierce his ear drums with own bombastic utterances. I'd have fed him well, even allowing him tea, TV and a boring job. I'm a philanthrophist. What can I say? Aren’t most Somali wives like that anyway?

I would love to oblige you, dear. But there are many obstacles on the way. He might not want to have you (although I’ll do my best to persuade him). You might be past your sell by date and unable to give me grandchildren to preserve my good name. But don’t let me depress you with all this negative talk. Lets wait and see, it might all work out nicely in the end. If not, you can always throw your hat into my ring (the only instance in the world where the consolation prize was more valuable than the prize itself).

I sense a disturbance in the force, Obi Wan! :rolleyes: I’m as sad as you are, girls. I really am. But, lets not wallow in our collective sorrow; there is still light at the end of the tunnel. You don’t have to wait for me that long (less than two decades now). Rejoice my darlings, rejoice. One of you is going to be able to win my very own lottery.

Love the source of your article.

^^^^ I do not wish to continue arguing about multiple marriages anymore. There isn’t anything that I’ll add which his Excellency above has not covered already. When your wife is 40, you, my dear, will be on the wrong side of 60. Now tell me, who will want to marry a bad-tempered oday like you at that age? Not anyone under 40 I suspect. I just luv crushing ppl's dreams...such satisfaction! Being on the wrong side of 60 will not stop me from finding several 16 year olds who are willing to marry me. It’s the Somali way, darling. PS No dreams have been crushed. If and when I do it, I will only do it as some sort of service for my Somali sisters. It’s really not fair that only one woman can brag about being married to me.

^^^^Now that’s what I call a passionate defence. I’m almost convinced of C/Y innocence. Keep it up in this style and you’ll probably convince a few more people, WD.

Today, I woke up feeling tired. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I washed my face with cold water but I was still feeling sleepy. I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my face. I wanted to focus on my face maybe that way the tiredness will go away and my brain will kick into gear. It didn’t work. I decided to have a cold shower. I fell asleep in the shower. I almost drowned standing up. I came out of the shower feeling cleaner and fresher. As I was drying myself, I felt sleepy again. How the hell am I going to make it to work in such a state? I went back to the mirror and tried talking myself into waking up. The face on the other side was having none of it! I picked up a razor. I threatened myself with it. Still no change! I was still feeling sleepy. I made a small cut on the side of my cheek. A tiny blood droplet came out. There was no pain and the sleepy feeling was still there. I picked up the shower gel and applied a bit of that to the cut. I felt a minor sting. I pulled a face. It still didn’t work. I looked around the bathroom for something else to use. A sleepy and lazy “Aha!†I found a bottle of bleach. I took a drop of that and put it on the wound. Flash lights everywhere. PAIN. Lots and lots of pain. I jumped up and slipped on the wet bathroom floor. I hit my head on the bath. I got a big bump on the side of my forehead and a cut on my cheek but I’m fully awake now (I think).

Those living in the West(men and mostly women) disagree with these ideas. Those living in the East(men and many women) agree with these ideas. It sounds like a case of big fish eating small fish. Survival of the fittest, etc.. Or is it a matter of ignorance and the fact that all of us in the West have seen the light and would wish that our brothers and sisters in Islam, would stop this "backward" habit and move with the times? Let's assume that some guy got married behind his wife's back. The choices she'll have will be to grin and bear it, ask for a divorce or make him choose between her and the other woman! None of these choices sound that nice. If she decided to agree to share her man with another woman, how long will she be able to manage it for? How about if she asked for a divorce, will she be able to live her life as a single mother/divorcee? How about the third choice whereby she asks her man to divorce his new wife? Would that be fair on the new wife? Aren't both women in the same boat anyway? The only thing that will remain constant in all these cases is that the man will get away with it(unless his first wife kills him of course).

You didn't answer my question, snow! Where are you from again?

They are always preyin on young defenceless girls. I would understand if a man took a relative who's a widow, a divorced woman, a women in a predicament so as to bring about a better change in their lives.... but getting a new younger model when they have had the best of their wives.. Maybe it’s my experience but I have not yet seen a guy who’s married two women and one of them was a young defenceless girl! Even if she was, I bet the first wife wouldn’t call her that either!

^^^^ Relax, saaxib. There is no need to go on the defensive. My aim in this thread was to learn new words. So instead of using the usual Somali word for urination, I wanted to see if there were other words to describe that act. I also wanted to know the synonyms of any other words that you might think of. I already said the exact thing about English or any other language. Here, I was only interested in increasing my Somali vocabulary by knowing that a camel for example, has fifty different names to describe it (does it?).

Wait for me, girls. I’ve had a deal with my beloved that I’m going to get married again when she turns 40(she’s got a long while to go yet). I’m not planning to act like a single guy and go chatting up girls in Internet forums and discussion boards (as if!). No, I’m going to announce my intentions and watch the candidates throw their hats into the ring (would need one hell of a big ring, right?). :cool: On a serious note though, I find myself agreeing with everything President Baashe says. Not that I understand why any man would need to double his qaxar though! :rolleyes:

Waar baro people, dee waxaad nago waasheen wixi somalia jiri jiray oon..lakin wax cosob aan la oqoon meyad sheegteen? meeshan waxa la yedhaahda "know your country"..so far, all I know about it is that: waxa jiri jiray Toyota, injir eyo bisado!! rewayadaaad noqoraysan, nimanyaho....anon somalia arkin baa waxan o dhan odhan lahaa dee..caana booraha eyo nac nac looska naga daya, oo waxad no sheegtan wax ay ceyaal caseerka noocayige aqoon ku laheen.. I promise you, it was never my intention to demolish the Somali language