Erm, the site only has an intro, saaxib!

Reminds me of The Last King of Scotland. The book written by Idi Amiin’s personal physician. It was fiction of course.

Last night was a crazy night. I got home to find my wife in a very bad mood. She was tired of doing the housework, looking after the kids and working as my unpaid personal secretary. I felt sorry for her and offered to swap places. I’ll stay at home and she can go out to work. She accused me of patronising her. My offer was genuine! I didn’t want to have an argument so I decided to put in an extra effort and clean the entire house. I though that by doing all the little jobs she’s been nagging me about for the past few months, I’d make her happy! I thought wrong. She asked me not to placate her as if she was a little child. I told her that I wasn’t. I was genuinely trying to help. She got me! I saw it in her eyes. I did, I did! She asked me to start by cleaning the kitchen. She said she couldn’t clean the oven and that she wanted me to clean it thoroughly for her. I did. She then asked me to clear the dust from behind the fridge because some Politician on TV was criticising woman for not doing so. I felt like a voodoo doll being stabbed in order to get back at somebody else. I did all the kitchen tasks. I wouldn’t want to blow my own trumpet but I think I did a marvellous job too. I wondered if there was such a job as kitchen cleaner and if it’s good business. She then asked me to vacuum all the rooms in the house. I did. It was also another good job. I made myself a cup of tea and sat back admiring all my good work. I was amazed at my great stamina. How could I have done all of this when I’ve already done a full day’s work? I heard some noise coming from the kitchen. I called out to my wife to ask her what she was doing. She said “ Nothingâ€. I said, “ If you’re doing nothing then where is that noise coming from?†She said, “ I knocked something overâ€. I said “ What?†she said, “ Why are you asking me all these questions? I just dropped something and picked it up straightaway†I started getting suspicious. I told her that I needed to know what she dropped. I really needed to know. She tried to shut me up with one of her usual arguments. I kept on asking and talking. I slowly walked towards the kitchen as I did. I caught her red handed. She was cleaning the oven! I asked her why did she do it? She replied, “ I noticed that you missed a bit on the side†I said, “ Why didn’t you tell me that when I was doing it?†She said, “ I just noticed it,†I said “ Why did you congratulate me on a job well done then?†She said, “ Because you did a good job†I said “ But I didn’t, did I?†She said, “ Yes you did, I was only applying the final touches†I said “ Are you also going to do the vacuuming?†She said, “ No, I don’t need to. You did a very good job there†I said “ Are you sure?†She said “ Positiveâ€. I decided to let her off this time. I went back and sat drinking my tea. She came in and switched the TV on. She got up and walked off. She stopped. She turned around. She said, “ Can I ask you something?†I said, “ Yeah, what do you want to ask?†She said “ promise you will not get upset?†I said, “ I wont†She said “ Promise!†I said “ Ok, I promise†She said “ Do you mind if I quickly vacuum this room? You did a good job on all the other rooms but there is a bit of dust on the corner there and I wont be able to sleep if it don’t get rid of it†I wanted to cry. I controlled myself and said, “ Do what makes you feel comfortable, dear†She said “ Are you upset?†I said “ No, not at all. Go ahead and do your vacuuming,†She said, “ You are upset,†I said, “ I told you that I’m not. Do you want me to be upset?†She said “ No I don’t†I said “ Stop asking me these questions then†She said “ Oh god, I upset you, didn’t I?†I said “ Yes you did, now just leave me alone†She said, “ I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you†I said, “ It’s ok. It’s no big deal,†She said “ But it is. You spent three hours doing all this work and now I’m making you feel as if it was not good enough†I said “ I only have one question; if you knew my work was not good enough, why the hell were you happy to let me do it?†She said “ The work didn’t make me happy, it’s the thought that counts†I said, “ What thought?†She said “ The thought that you’re helping me out†I said “You made me do all of this just because the thought of it made you happy?†She said “ its sounds bad when you put it like that. I’m not that evil†I said “I didn’t say you were†She said “ You didn’t have to, you implied it†I said “ I didn’t imply anything†She said “ Don’t try to wriggle your way out of it, be a man and admit it†I said “ I’m not going to admit anything. I’m not going to let you trick me again†She said, “See, you’re doing it again!†I said “ Doing what?†she said “ Implying that I’m evil and that I trick people†I decided not to argue anymore. She walked off in a huff and started cleaning the entire house once more. I wanted to burn the house down.

My sweet OG, my words are not directed at you, sister. I’m sure you girls are happy to argue amongst yourselves and I have no intention of taking part in your arguments. But, when a guy joins in and starts taking sides, I feel it’s my duty to tell him to back off. Listen to me, I’m old as you say.

Haye, haye sheekado ma waxay gaadhay en ay dumarka la caayo? If you see two women arguing, either calm them down or stay out of it, Warya Dude. Mese waxad donaysa en aan calankayga mar kale la so baxo oo an kula dhaco? Take part in the discussion, but don’t start attacking our women, man. **Furiously waves flag**

I was going to be a good boy and not openly criticise anything. But, since everyone had already had a go and the admin had left this topic open(and their PM closed), I'm assuming comments are welcome on this topic! I have no real objection to the idea of a Somali forum within a Somali forum. I'm sure the idea made great sense when it was first thought up. My only reservations are to do with those who complained; it really does not require a great effort on my part to work out who it is! The pesudo-literati have spoken and seem to have got their wishes granted! The admin informs us that there are changes to be made to the General forum. These changes are to be made because of an agreement amongst some regulars and the management of the site that the "Quality" has been deteriorating! Call me a half wit if you please, but what sort of quality were you expecting from a forum that describes itself on the main page as "Only "general" chit-chatting!"? This is akin to a Luddite blaming his PC for writing gibberish when it's him who does not know what QWERTY is! If the management of the site feel a change is needed, then who am I to disagree. However, I question the assertion that the "Quality" of the General forum is lacking when the sign on the door invites you to chitchat; it's either a general free for all or it's not! As for the naval gazing and remembering the great old days, well, we all do that. I used to run faster, climb walls and lots of women found me extremely irresistible. I'm sure I could do all of that again if I pushed myself a little but my maturity gets in the way sometimes. Anyway, it's good to review things from time to time and see if we can improve them and increase the chances for all to benefit. However, witch hunts are not nice. (these comments are to both sides complaining here but they're mostly directed at those lurking in the shadows with neither wit nor courage with their ludicrous aspirations of a Somali nirvana that's full of critical thinking. I'm not talking about the admin either). I only did this upon remembering the famous words of that German pastor: 'First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist, so I said nothing. Then they came for the Social Democrats, but I was not a Social Democrat, so I did nothing. Then came the trade unionists, but I was not a trade unionist. And then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew, so I did little. Then when they came for me, there was no one left to stand up for me.' :mad:

I wonder what the new section will be called? Hmmm, the words SOMALIland seem to spring to mind. What other changes are planned for the General section, admin? I hope GENERAL will not become SPECIFIC! :rolleyes:

Nayruus, Of everything I’ve written, is that the only thing that caught your eye, saaxib? I’m not interested in having an argument over Somaliland. Still, it’s only polite to answer your question. No, I didn’t take any province-wide poll. It was taken by the government of Somaliland when that government was elected into office. They had international representatives to confirm that those elections were fair. Now, I don’t know about you, but at a guess I would say that the majority of the residents of Somaliland were for and took part in those elections. Otherwise, those international observers would not have dignified those proceedings with their presence, wouldn’t you say? I hope I’ve managed to help you split that hair satisfactorily, saaxib. Any other worthy comments on my post?

Here I go again. First it was a futile political discussion. It was slightly irritating but didn’t have anything new or out of the ordinary. Now though, now Islam is being brought into it. It’s a futile Islamic discussion! As is usual with SOL regulars, we’re all educated scholars and we dispense fatwa’s at will. All we need is to take a line from the holy book or the hadeeth and viola; we’ve got a fit for all fatwa. All the variables will just have to fit into this incontestable decision. The problem is, because of issues of war, mistrust and obvious disagreements in the current Somali political scene, someone is bound to come back with a counter Islamic argument and a fatwa that exonerates Somaliland from dividing the Ummah! The arguments will rage on and soon, soon the insults will start flying around again. A futile political discussion’s only downfall is the fact that most that participate in it end up looking juvenile. An Islamic one however, has greater consequences. For the life of me I could never understand why would anyone bring Islam into an already decaying thread! I’ve already set my stall on defending Somaliland and I’m not about to change my mind here. I don’t defend Somaliland on the basis of tribalism or false pride. I don’t do it because of any emotional attachments to that place either. I do it because I’ve seen how determined these people are on realising their own independent country. Many go over the top in displaying this determination. Some ****** even write letters to Israel to recognise them! In the long term however, I don’t believe that Somaliland can completely cut itself off from Somalia. It shares borders with that country. It shares the same language and heritage too. Despite what many Somalilanders say, the entire existence of Somaliland is heavily entwined into that of Somalia. There are many short-sighted Somalilanders who refuse to have anything to do with Somalia. They believe that their country can stand on it’s own feet and does not need Somalia at all. They believe that once they get recognition all will be over and they will have nothing to do with Somalia anymore. They refuse to take the blinkers of and view the carnage is it stands. They refuse to acknowledge the political and economic connections to greater Somalia. Yet, they acknowledge the same connections with Ethiopia and Kenya! Until they get that long awaited recognition, it’s going to be tunnel vision all the way. In time though, I believe the saner elements in the Somaliland political scene will come to believe that some sort of union/cooperation or link with greater Somalia is necessary. The rest of Somalia on the other hand is no better. They mistakenly believe Somaliland is a renegade tribe that should stop being silly and obediently rejoin the fold. They ignore all the mistrust that exists and the past fourteen years of phantom independence. They protest that they’ve suffered and have been wronged too and believe that this should be reason enough for Somaliland to return to the fold. Their cry is: we’ve all had a bad time let us sit here and cry together! Their warped logic goes: we’ve all suffered at the hands of the dictator so let us dictate to you what you should do! They unwittingly use the same reasons that drove Somaliland into seeking independence as the reasons to convince that state that independence is wrong! Seeing the blindness and shortsightedness of each side, it’s not hard to predict that things are not likely to get better. Somalia seems to have sorted itself out (whether that peace holds, remains to be seen). Going by the messages that have been emanating from both Somalia and Somaliland, war is inevitable. Treachery is also a forgone conclusion. The pupils of the former dictator will carry on playing this deadly game of musical chairs and their various supporters will carry on singing their praises. The Somali dance will continue....one step forward, five steps back..cha cha cha! Now, if Somaliland does get its recognition from the world community and is internationally legalised as a country, things might start looking rosier; Things might start getting worse too; Somalia might declare war on it! However, I believe things will improve because the Somaliland people will finally be able to move away from the obsession of recognition that seems to have consumed all their thoughts and energies. They’ll be able to look at the bigger picture and realise the importance and benefits of cooperation with greater Somalia. The rest of Somalia too will be able to concentrate on their own affairs and stop using Somaliland as a coat hanger that is blamed for all the ills of Somalia. They’ll also try to work towards asserting themselves as the dominant nation in the Horn of Africa. Of course, all this is conjuncture and hypotheses on my part. I have not taken into account the outside influences of Ethiopia, Djibouti, the Arab world and the west. Heaven knows what other mischief these will get up to.

Last weekend, I finally gave in to the pressure from my wife and kids and agreed to buy us a pet. I took my three-year-old daughter and we went to the local pet shop. I always pass this shop on my way to work or the gym but I’ve never noticed it before! It’s like a mini zoo! They had kittens, fish, hamsters, mice and lots of noisy birds. We were supposed to get a kitten. I asked the shop assistant about the kittens they had and how much they cost. The price seemed reasonable and my daughter loved what she saw. I then asked him if there are any other things that I needed to do. He started giving me a long lecture about the different things I’ll have to do to keep my kitten happy and healthy. I remembered the midwife telling me similar things about looking after babies! I decided not to buy the kitten. I managed to convince my daughter that buying a kitten was not really a good idea; we should look at other animals. We looked at the fish but they were not practical enough for a three year old. She wanted to touch them and kiss them. Why would anyone want to kiss a fish? I told her not to rush things. She’ll have plenty of frogs to kiss when she grows up. She asked me where the frogs were. The shop assistant, who was following us around, told her that they don’t sell any frogs! We then started looking at the birds. I thought they looked lovely but my daughter had her hands on her ears throughout. Maybe I should take this little girl to see a counsellor! How could she hate the sweet sounds of birds? We had no choice but to move on to the hamsters and other rodents. She saw a white mouse in a cage. She insisted that I buy her the mouse. I couldn’t agree to buy her a mouse. It’s a mouse for god’s sake! She would not budge. She wanted the mouse and she was not going to move unless I bought it for her. The wise shop assistant joined in. He sensibly asked me who was I buying the pet for. I told him that I was buying it for her. He said “ Well, seems she got her heart set on a mouse, sir†I contemplated his reasonable words then told him that I’m not buying her a mouse. She gave in and said that she does not want the mouse anymore. She said she didn’t want anything anymore. She wanted to go home. She looked sad! I felt sorry for her. It was only a mouse after all! I bought it. We went home happy. She ran to her mother and told her about the latest member of the family. My wife came and had a look. She ran to the kitchen and shut herself in. She screamed from behind the door and asked me to take the mouse back. She said that if she wanted a mouse, she would have caught it herself. I tried to reason with her. I’ve since learned never to reason with a woman scared of a mouse. While we were arguing, my daughter let the mouse out of the cage and tried to stroke it. The mouse ran away. My wife screamed some more. My daughter heard her mother scream and started crying. My wife said, “ Now, look what you have done?†I said “ I didn’t do anything, it’s you who scared her with your screaming†She said “ You’re the one who brought that filthy rodent into our house†I said “ It’s not filthy†She said “ All mice are filthy†I said “ But I bought this one from the pet shop†She said “ They ripped you off†I said “ It wasn’t that expensive†She said “ I don’t care how much it cost, just get rid of it†I said “ You’ve got to help me catch it†she said “ I’m going nowhere near that filthy animal†I said “ Stop calling it filthy, I think it’s sweet†I asked my daughter if she thought the mouse was sweet. She was still crying but she nodded her agreement. My wife said, “ It’s not nice to teach a child to take sidesâ€. She was in an argumentative mood and I knew I was not going to win. I stopped talking and tried to catch the mouse. My other daughter, who was sleeping on the sofa throughout all of this, woke up. She saw me and her sister chasing the mouse around the room and she joined in laughing. The doorbell rang. I told the girls to carry on chasing the mouse and went to open the door. It was my sister-in-law. I greeted her then turned around and went back to the living room. The mouse ran past me. My sister-in-law jumped on me. I panicked and pushed her away. The mouse ran out to the street. A car hit it. I screamed. My two daughters behind me screamed. My sister-in-law came out and was shouting for us to tell her what’s going on. My wife came out and was shouting for us to all come back in. My brother-in-law got out the car and asked us why we were all shouting? I told him that he killed our first ever pet. He looked under the car and said, “ What pet? All I see is a dead mouse!†I explained that it was our new pet and that he killed it. He told me not get myself worked up over a dead mouse. My wife and her sister agreed with him. My daughters got distracted with a cartoon show on TV. I decided to go on strike. I stopped talking to them and told them that I’ll only talk if they acknowledged the fact that OUR pet was murdered. They accused me of being mad and unreasonable. I ignored them. They finally surrendered and tried to compromise. We buried “shooting star†in the back garden. It’s been four days since our mouse died. We’ve decided to honour his memory by never buying another pet.

I don’t mean to become a party pooper here. But I thought Somalis of all creeds and political persuasions had countless “think tanks†already! A quick search on the net will generate dozens of so called groups and associations. Meetings are convened, articles are written and resolutions are made but no results are to be had! In some of the above replies someone touched upon the battle between intellectuals and bigots. This is really the real war that needs to be won. Somalia could have peace tomorrow but if this battle is not won, the fights, arguments, tribalism and mayhem will return. A leader whether intellectual or otherwise is not needed right now. Hundreds of leaders are needed though. Somalia might not be a democracy but majority still rules. The majority of ignorance, prejudice and blindness! To make a difference we need to understand the Somali psyche. The one that lives and dies by the phrase “ waxa la yedhiâ€, the one that greets you with the words “ ii waran†and “ maxa cosobâ€. These might sound like simple and harmless words but I believe them to be the root of all that’s bad about Somali society. They’re the tools that give a platform to propaganda and distortion. They’re the implements that open the door to hearsay and hatred. They remain and have always been our main source of “informationâ€. I also agree with the poster who concluded that the current Somali climate needs erudite leaders and speakers. They needn’t only be leaders though. What’s more important than the leader are the political analysts, the sincere journalists and the various observers. They’re the ones that need to be clear and fair. If a think tank is needed then let it be a journalistic one. One that ignores tribal allegiances, covers, criticises or praises events as they unfold! One that has the ability to reach every Somali home or abroad. In order to do this, whoever starts, joins or even approves of such an entity will have to have the well being of the average Somali person as their only driving force. Who wins what, who breaks away from whom or who was right and wrong should not matter. Yours should be a purely humanitarian aim. I’m sure there are many such bodies around the world and in Somalia. Some even, only exist in some tortured souls heads’. Bringing them all together and giving them a platform to spread and swap their ideas and conclusions is what’s lacking. What I believe is needed and I’ve personally searched fruitlessly for, is a World Wide Television station. It might sound like an ambitious idea but I believe if such a station existed, and wasn’t used as a propaganda mouthpiece for one group or another, the possibilities of progress being made will be beyond measure. It will allow us, to a certain extent, to get rid of the “waxa la yedhi†cancer. It will give these shy “intellectuals†the opportunity to air their thoughts and advance the political discussion from the gutter it currently resides in. In Somalia, we’ve already done the armed revolution part. It was physical and many people suffered as a result. It’s time for a peaceful one and the only way this will happen is if you give people one point of reference. The Arabs who are in a relatively better political position than Somalia had the Al Jazeerah Television station in the early 1990’s. It changed their whole outlook. It opened doors they never knew existed. It daily gathers the best minds of that race and invites them to wax lyrical about all the problems of the Arab world and beyond. Their efforts might not yield immediate results but what they really do is educate their viewers and target audience. Rather than lamenting the reluctance of the our “intellectuals†to involve themselves in Somali politics, we need to invite them to do so and assure them that their words will be heard by Somalis in every corner of the world. This is the think tank that I believe we need. Then again, I might be deluding myself once more. PS I apologise if this sounds like one big rant. I was typing in a hurry and I’m not sure if any of it makes any sense.

Let me pump this one up again. I’m starting to suspect that Gibran was Somali.

Today, I got to work to find that my assistant is ill again. The poor girl suffers from chronic food poisoning! When I was told that this menacing ailment has struck again I felt sorry for her. I felt sorry for myself too. It’s not that I’ll have to cope with work on my own again or anything of the sort. I felt sorry for myself because when she comes back, I’ll have to sit and listen to all the gory details. She’ll cry. She’ll apologise for leaving me in the lurch. She’ll reassert her long life wish of committing suicide. She’ll tell me again that the only thing stopping her from doing so is the fact that she has not fulfilled all her other ambitions in life! Apparently, she first has to finish decorating her new three-bedroom house, she needs to paint the garage door and she needs to finish the fishpond that she created in her garden. All are major tasks! She’ll also go into great detail about how everyone hates her and how unfortunate she is. She’ll ask me again “ Why did I end up with a dark haired guy when all my life I dreamt of marrying a blonde man?†She’ll apologise again about taking the last two days off and tell me that she’s worried about her job security! She’ll go on about how she’s being paid peanuts and being taxed thousands. She’ll mention her hate for the jobless and “scroungers†of this world! She’ll tell me again about the TV advert she saw a few months ago. An advert that nobody else I’ve asked seems to have seen. She saw it though. She swears she did. It was a governmental advert encouraging single mothers to return to work. She didn’t have a problem with the advert itself but she had a problem with the actress pretending to be a single mother! It seems that, her hair was done too nicely for her to be a poor single mother. Her flat was also nicely decorated and she had a BANK ACCOUNT! These poor scroungers should not have bank accounts. They already get paid millions of pounds of taxpayer’s money. How dare they have bank accounts? I’ll sit and nod. I’ll sympathise. I’ll give her fake and reassuring smiles. I’ll tell her that life is hard and the bad guys always win. She’ll agree and she’ll repeat the story about her next-door neighbour who seems to own two cars. Two cars when you’re living in a backwards area like Walthamstow? She’ll quickly remind me that he’s not really her next-door neighbour. He apparently lives on the poor side of their street! She’ll go back and tell me about her food poisoning again. I HAVE to believe her. She will not take my word for it though. She’ll keep on talking until she believes that I believe! She’ll tell me about the miscarriage she had. She’ll tell me about all the pregnant woman that she seems to suddenly notice when she’s out. She’ll tell me how she wishes they all had miscarriages! She’ll accuse them of probably being single mothers. Married woman don’t have children, only single mothers do. She’ll tell me how she decided not to have any kids because children play havoc with your figure. They cost money. Money better spent going on holiday or saving for a rainy day! She’ll say that even though she hates food poisoning it does have its benefits. She’s fat and she needs to lose weight. I’ll tell her that she’s not fat and does not need to lose any weight. She’ll tell me that I’m a man and men don’t know anything about weight. She’ll moan, she’ll whinge and she’ll complain about how hard life is. After an hour of this, she’ll ask me how I coped in her absence! How could I tell her the truth? What do I say? Do I say that I was fine while she was away with food poisoning and that now she’s back; I’m starting to suffer from mind poisoning? Sometimes, sometimes I think of ways of annoying her. Maybe I should get all the latest press cuttings about scroungers, asylum seekers and the deputy prime minister. Maybe I should start leaving them on her desk everyday. I could add a couple of photos of the Beckham’s on holiday. Show a few glitzy pictures of rich film stars. Tax rise news? Beautiful pregnant women? Maybe I should just phone in sick tomorrow.

[iF] If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream--and not make dreams your master, If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much, If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son! --Rudyard Kipling

It’s funny in a very sad way, saaxib. Many of these guys suffer from serious addictions. This magic grass plays havoc with their lives and the lives of those around them. When we don’t have any famous and expensive clinics to send them to and wean them of this drug, how the hell are they going to stop? The case of the guy you mentioned is an extreme one, the mild idiosyncrasies of others however, are widespread. Even those that don’t chew play a part in the circulation of this drug; when they get married they distribute boxes of this stuff to all who’ll have them! I was also shocked recently to find that some people also dispense that substance to people who come to pay their condolences after funerals! This disease has become a part of our Somali culture. It is our Somali culture. The older people are content with just chewing Jaat without deviating into any other forms of drugs. The younger ones however, start with this and then move on to all sorts of other filth. Sometimes, they mix it with alcohol, marijuana and various pills! You’ll be surprised to know that I have no real objection to the drug itself; after all, people are free to do whatever they want to do. I would however like them to be aware of what they’re getting themselves into before they do it. I have no statistics to back me up here; all I’m going by is what I’ve seen with my own eyes. I accept that this might not be representative of all Somalis that indulge in such practises. Still, I can’t help wondering why is it that when Somalis develop a taste for something, they always give it one hundred percent effort? I see the Somali drunks in the streets stumbling and falling as they walk and I wonder why I’ve never seen a Somali who looked normal but had a stench of alcohol emanating from his person? Does the word “moderation†not exist in our vocabulary? Why is it that when we drink we become drunks and when we chew or smoke we become Zombies? Are there no Somalis who occasionally dip a toe into the ocean of intoxication instead of diving right in all the time? :mad: Again, maybe I presume too much and I’m letting my disappointment and bewilderment get the better of me here.

My favourite book has always been Joseph Heller’s Catch 22. A book that shows the misery and confusion of war without having to resort to any great scenes of fighting and killing! The madness, paranoia, calculation, cowardice and greed that are surreally depicted in that book are breathtaking. Of all the books and stories describing the nature of war I think this is the one that did it best. If you have not read it yet I recommend you do.

Last Week, I Went To The Shop To Buy Some Milk. It Was A Saturday Night. The Roads Were Busy. I Decided To Walk To The Shop. It Was A Nice And Pleasant Night. The Sky Was Clear And The Stars Were Shining. There Was A Full Moon In The Middle Of The Sky. It Looked Like Some Great Optical Illusion! How Could That Great Light Float In The Sky In Such A Way Without Any Ropes To Hold It Still? It Was A Perfect Night. I Started Wishing I Was Younger. I Wanted To Be In Love With Someone Who Doesn't Love Me. I Wished That Tonight Was The Night She Told Me She Does Not Want Me To Pester Her Anymore! It Would Have Been Perfect. All That Pain And All That Disappointment Would Have Been Worthy Of A Night Like This. I Could Cry Myself To Sleep In Some Park Under The Moon And The Stars. I Could Spend My Time Thinking Of Ways To Have My Revenge On Her! I Started Thinking " Maybe I Should Spend The Night Out Here", I Wondered Where Would I Sleep? I Decided That I Will Not Sleep. I'd Stay Up All Night And Sit Staring At The Moon And Stars Instead. I Looked Around Me For A Place To Sit. I Thought About Sitting On The Side Of The Pavement. I Thought Of People Walking Past And Asking Me Why Am I Sitting Here At This Time Of Night. I Saw Myself Telling Them All About My Imaginary Lover Who Dumped Me When I Was Younger And That Tonight Was The Fifteenth Anniversary Of That Dark Night. Then I Thought Of Policemen Stopping Me And Asking Me To Go Home Or Spend A Night In The Cells. I Decided Not To Sit On The Pavement After All. If I'm Going To Do It, I'll Need To Find Somewhere To Hide. I Looked Around Me And Saw A Big Rubbish Bin. It Had The Words " Please Keep Your Borough Tidy" On It! I Went Over And Stood Next To It While Mentally Measuring It And Trying To Work Out If I'd Fit In. It Was The Perfect Place To Hide. The Angle Was Right For Seeing The Moon And Stars. Its Size Was Adequate Enough For My Bulky Body. I Started Thinking About The Lack Of Rubbish Bins In London. I Remembered Someone Telling Me The Reason Was Terrorism! I Panicked. What If Someone Saw Me Entering The Rubbish Bin? They Would Think I'm A Terrorist! What If Someone Saw Me Now? I Heard A Voice. It Said " What Are You Doing, Sir", I Quickly Turned Around And Saw A Policeman. He Was Huge! In My Hurry To Reply, I Choked And Started Coughing. He Stood There Staring At Me Without Moving A Single Eyelash! I Finally Stopped Coughing And Said "i Was Thinking Of The Moon". He Didn't Say Anything. I Said " I Was Thinking How Great It Would Be If I Entered The Rubbish Bin And Sat Staring At The Moon All Night! I Know It's A Silly Thought". He Still Didn't Say Anything. I Didn't Say Anything. He Said "what Were You Doing, Sir?", I Wanted To Slap Him. I Said "nothing, Officer", He Kept On Staring At Me For A Few Seconds And Then Turned Around And Walked Back To His Van. I Wanted To Run After Him And Kick Him In The Backside. I Started Thinking Of How I Would Do It. I'd Have To Run Very Fast And Then Jump In The Last Minute And Kick Him. A Karate Type Of Kick Not A Football Volley. By The Time I've Decided On The Type Of Kick I'd Administer, He Was Already In The Van. I Shrugged And Carried On Walking. I Was Walking The Wrong Way. I Still Didn't Get The Milk! I Turned Around And Went Back Towards The Shop. A Young Boy Stopped Me And Asked Me To Buy Him Some Cigarettes. I Refused. He Begged Me. I Still Refused. He Said " Listen Mate, I Know You Think I'm Unederage But I Swear To You That I'm Over 16 Years Of Age" I Said "in That Case, Why Don't You Go And Buy Your Own Stuff? You're A Big Boy, You Don't Need Me" He Said " But I Do! The Shop Owner Hates Me" I Said "why?" He Said "he Just Does" I Said "hating You Shouldn't Stop Him From Doing Business With You" He Said " Never Mind The Shop Owner, Are You Going To Help Me Or Not?" I Said " No" He Said " Please" I Said " Sorry I Don't' Want To Break The Law" He Said " I'm Not Asking You To Steal Anything" I Said " Yes You Are, You're Asking Me To Steal Your Innocence" He Swore At Me And Told Me That I'm Mad! I Thought Of Karate Kicking Him. He Swore At Me Some More. I Ignored Him And Walked Into The Shop. The Owner Welcomed Me And Said " I Hate That Little Boy Outside" I Said " I Know" He Said " How Do You Know?" I Said " He Told Me" He Said " That's Why I Hate Him". I Didn't Say Anything. I Bought The Milk And Walked Out. I Looked At The Boy Then Kept On Walking Home. The Boy Karate Kicked Me And Ran Away. I Lay Down On The Ground Looking Up At The Moon And Smiling. It Would Have Been A Really Rotten Night If My Imaginary Lover Had Dumped Me In Addition To This Silly Kid Kicking Me. I Smiled Some More. The Moon Was Shining And The Stars Were Out.

I have a feeling that this thread will run and run! Question one: I don't always think of what I write when I'm posting a new topic or replying to a topic. I say not always because it really depends on the topic and the time I have. Yes, I seem to be on this site all the time but it usually is quick glances in between doing some work or when I have some free time at home. I expect that most people suffer from this time constraint problem. Question Two: Again, this depends on the students and the "benefits" they derive from reading this forum. In an academic sense, I doubt there are many benefits to be had on this site (I say this in the nicest possible way). However, if we're talking about universal benefits, then yes, this site does have it's positive points. Of course nothing is perfect and every rose has its thorns. But on the whole, I personally find this site educational(and I'm not even a student anymore). Question Three: I'm assuming that not many people on this site know much about each other in real life. I personally don't think I know anyone on this site. These "pointless" chats and tedious conversations allow you to know about the people you're interacting with. They give you the chance to know that you're actually talking to another living, breathing and normal human beings (some not so normal!). They allow like minded people to get in touch with each other, stay in touch and maybe even meet. Sometimes, they even contain the first seeds of some future serious discussions. In their own subtle way, they are of great benefit to everyone( I think). Question Four I wonder who'll be the first to reply with the words " Yes, J, I post all my topics for the sole reason of seeking popularity"! In most similar web sites, there is usually someone who would start a topic with the title " Who's the best regular here?". Go ahead and type it in Google, see how many "serious" forums have such threads in them! Luckily enough, I don't think we've had one of those on this site and I hope we don't. As for my intentions when posting new topics, I usually do so to have my views confirmed, learn something new or simply amuse myself (and the one or two bored souls who are stuck in offices like mine and are looking for ways to relive the formality and monotony of their average working days). Question Five: I know, I know, there was no question five! Still, I think since we're all in a caring, sharing mood today we might as well say why do we visit this web site? I'm sure there are a few people who are lurking in the background and have never attempted to post on this site yet, it would be nice if they took this opportunity to tell us why do they visit this site! Is it for amusement, education or escapism? Maybe none of the above! :rolleyes:

Baashi step aside for a second and let me deal with these pro separatists. Cause these people need someone like me to show them the truth, not someone as wise as you! Come on NGONGE be fair to Baashi he read all your words, not that there is much to read. The problem with the pro separatists is they Abuse the victim card a lot; you’re insulting our intelligence with it. You are not the only victim of the last regime so get over it Again? :eek: Shall we talk in Arabic, my dear? It seems that my English is not getting through to you! I find it shocking that it doesn't to be honest. After all, you've more than demonstrated your versatility with this particular language; It's as if you've got a couple of gears that you change around effortlessly. Sometimes southpaw and sometimes orthodox! Never mind, since Baashi (and I assume others too) elected you to be their spokesperson, I might as well direct my reply to you. I will endeavor to make it as SIMPLE and as straight forward as possible. I expect no more come backs from you on this subject. Because if you(and anyone else) can't understand my blunt words, it will not be much of a discussion. First things first, lets talk about the point of having a discussion, note I'm saying a discussion not a conversation or slanging match. To have a successful and worthy discussion, both sides will have to listen(and hear) each other. Of course assumptions will be made but those assumptions need to be matched to the words of your opponent. If you're uncertain, if you don't understand or even if you think that your foe is talking total rubbish, the ettiqute of discussion dictates that you make your query or criticism in a subtle and civilised way. They are indeed just words on a screen, however, those words can paint a million master pieces; it would be a shame if the only master piece you've perfected was the SCREAM! Secondly, lets talk about Politics. To discuss such a topic in such a public place, you really need to have some knowledge about the concept itself. The circumstances and the characters of the situation you're discussing would not really matter if you did not understand the actual concept or the basics of it. Again, this is a public forum, hundreds of people might be reading your words and you bet your life that many of them are more clued up on the subject matter than any of us are. These people and most of us, take part in such discussions to learn, benefit and expand our knowledge of certain political situations. We don't do it to whine and wring our hands( or at least I'd hope most of us don't)! Now, back to the topic on hand, it's over six pages long! The bulk of those pages contains repetitive and pointless posts. Both sides know the points they're not agreeing on. They knew them before this thread was even started. They knew them for the past fourteen years. That particular section of the discussion has reached a stalemate long ago. Move on, nothing to see here, it's an ex-discussion! :mad: I know I'm repeating myself here, but I'm hoping that if I kept on hammering at all of you(including the Somalilanders), maybe my constant nagging will make you see sense and raise the stakes a little. You see, I don't want to tire my eyes and fingers typing and reading the same stuff that I could have easily heard and listened to in any Somali coffee shop in any part of the world! For in such a place everyone is found. I don't want to listen to everyone! I want to listen to sound and well presented ideas. I want something new and different(as I'm sure all of you do too). So, will you people be able to raise your game or, will you be found wanting again? Finally, I would like to remind you that this criticism is not directed at any one individual in particular, this is directed at ALL of you. I sincerely hope that you have the paitiance and foresight to take it in the spirit it was intended.

Oh, I missed this earlier! Shabella: Think you this thread is indicative of "concious" cowardice? I think that would a most euphemistic evaluation of this thread. Cowardice, if it be intelligible (comprehensible), is a hundredfold better than insipid writing. Your eminence! You really do honor me with your frequent visits to this thread of mine! I, of all people, know how hard it is for you to condescend from your mental summit to the ditch that is the ordinary minds of people like my wretched self. Nonetheless, since you opted to amuse yourself in such a way, I humbly request, nay I plead with thee to grant me another favor; disembark from your pedestal and mingle amongst us trivial mortals, my good sir. Take of your rigidly intellectual attire and wade into our pointless sewer. Your spirit will always be nobler than our cheap imitations, my lord. So, why don't you humor us and walk amongst us while benignly adapting your words and comments to the comprehension of this unworthy rabble?

Baashi, I'm afraid you have not been reading my words, saaxib. Go back and read all my replies to this thread. This time though, leave your assumptions out and take the words as you read them. For if you read them with your opinions formed in advance you're bound to take them out of context. You assume that I've dig my heels in and closed my mind! Far from it, saaxib. I have not lived in Somalia/Somaliland. I really learned the language in only the past few years so I don't have the emotional attachment that you and many others on here seem to have (Somalis or otherwise). However, I can still spot a futile discussion when I see one. Usually, you seem to be one with the tamest and more civilised responses on such topics. Others are not so clever. The discussions always turn into mud slinging and pointless arguments ( as they seem to have done on some parts of this thread). I've demonstrated that I can mud sling with the best of them. But I've also ended my post pleading with these guys to stop the rubbish and get serious. Didn't work, did it? Oh, never mind lets just move on again. Crystal balls or not, you still can speculate as to what you think will happen in the future, saaxib. It is a political discussion after all. Some analysis and predictions need to be made. Otherwise, what makes us different to the illiterate old men sitting in Somali coffee shops all over the world and passing on their mostly rubbish views to all and sundry? The recent events in Kenya didn't take place as a result of these sides insulting each other or repeating the same old tired arguments, they occurred because negotiations took place before hand, right? Now, you think you've come against a brick wall when it comes to those in favor of Somaliland being an independent country, don't you? Well, negotiate your way round it, saaxib. Woo them and me as I already said! After all, most of these threads are started by people who are pro unity. But all most of these people do is attack and criticise (this is not likely to yield the desired results, don't you agree?). I'm saying why not try a different tack, you never know, you might convert a few! Like you said too, all this is hypothetical, our opinions and discussions will not have any influence on the events on the ground. So, let your hair down and speculate, saaxib. What do you have to lose?

J, Saaxib xaasid baad tahay. Waad I dishay oo wan indha biilay I was waiting for the juicy bits in the story. Four thousand words and not even a single striptease by the heroine of this story? She worked out the trick before anything bad happened to her? :mad: An everyday story of MSN and PALTALK! **Wonders why non of this naïve women come his way **

^^^ My thoughts exactly! Too many inconsistencies in this little story. It’s fun to read nonetheless. Sorry to hear that she died but only told one friend just before she died (ehehehe).

Feebaro, filinkan hindiga dheera, saaxib. Sad Music ayaa ka maqan wallahi..titanic fooqal titanic..lol I know such stories can happen but in this case, malabka ayaay nago yara badisay, saaxib. I don’t believe a word of it. My eyes hurt from all this reading. Quick English translation for those that asked: A Woman was introduced by her friend to the Internet. She installed it at home. She got hooked on it. She was a married woman but she still met “Prince charming†on the net (or was it the Prince of Darkness?). She liked him. He liked her. They met once for only a minute. They met again when her husband was away on a business trip (hehehe). He took her in his car. He drove her around for four hours. She didn’t notice where he was taking her. When she finally noticed that they were in a far away place, she asked him what was going on. He stopped the car. Some other guy dragged her out of the car and slapped her around a bit. She fainted. She woke up in an empty room half naked, etc, etc.. The woman basically got raped and is telling all your girls her sad story so you don’t fall for no guy on the net... PS There is more to the story but I got tired from all the reading by then. PPS Most of the story goes on to justify how this woman found herself in such a position and talks about her feelings which she blames on the devil. :rolleyes: Feebaro, did I get it right with my translation? :rolleyes:

^^^ I agree with every word you said there, saaxib.