Alpha Blondy;986582 wrote: wayoow? she's a heathen. she wants to reconfigure our values for the purposes of appearing....... to be seen as 'modern' and 'enlightened'. a voted for her is a vote wasted. +1

I CANNOT believe this happened today. He ran (waddled) and physically attacked a city councillor: Also, he was imitating drunk driving from his seat:

Nice thread Haatu, I'll add some stuff soon.

Jacpher;986570 wrote: ^How many participants are in your survey/research? Two, which we can then extrapolate to make conclusions about autism in the Somali American community, because anecdotal evidence is as good as data. If we're going to use anecdotes, the Somali women I know with autistic children were all in their 20s when they had their children. But seriously... it's true that maternal age is a risk factor for issues like autism in children, but that doesn't explain why the incidence of autism is as much as 4-5x higher in the Somali community in some estimates and for the most part, Somali women tend to have children younger than their Western counterparts. It doesn't help that the causes of autism are not fully understood either, and that we don't have statistics for autism in Somalia to make a comparison.

Well look who it is. " frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>

Miyir;986540 wrote: im not the marrying type, your cousin is either from big foot or north (start from L.A) these somali guys are too conservative to my knowledge or stuck 18 century baadiye.(look above) the world changed, relax nothing lasts forever enjoy the jacayl:cool: we should be discussing something uplifting about the new lovers and wishing many happy days:cool: lol true, northerners are much more conservative when it comes to marriage and sexuality, almost Victorian in their attitudes It's definitely not baadiye though, reer miyi tend to be more open than us city folk. One of my uncles married an older, divorced woman (who did not have children from her first marriage) when he was a young man, and to this day I suspect that's why my relatives dislike her. There are many similar stories in my extended family, and the taboo is always with divorced women rather than divorced men, with much of the disapproval coming from the women of the family. I hope DK's relatives let it go once the engagement/marriage proceeds, because it can create a hostile environment for the new wife and her children, and bitter inlaws can ruin otherwise good relationships.

DoctorKenney;986522 wrote: LOL But being a step-dad and step-mom are completely different. The kid will never be truly attached to his step-mother the way he's attached to his real mother. But when it comes to step-dads, then it doesn't matter. I've seen a dozen examples of step-fathers raising children, and the kids actually look at him as their real Dad It's the same... what shapes the relationship between stepparent and stepchild are the circumstances and context, there's nothing inherently closer about a stepfather's relationship with his stepkids than a stepmother's. Factors like how old the children are when the stepparent enters their lives, whether they live in the same household with the stepparent, how involved the parent that does not live with the child is in the child's life, how the stepparent treats the children, etc are what determines how kids respond to their new stepparent. I think you're completely right in cases where a woman remarries with young children, and the father is not so involved so the stepdad takes on the father's role, but that's not always the case. A stepparent will never replace a biological parent unless the parent is not a part of the child's life, it's just a completely different relationship. Your cousin should be aware of this, too... trying to 'replace' the ex-husband when it comes to his children and be the 'real dad' can cause resentment and tension between the three parents, but aiming to be the best stepfather possible is important. Re: thefutureisnow, I understood his posts not so much as suggesting background checks/independent verification of a person's character, but explicitly saying men do not owe explanation of their past to a potential spouse. The comments on "not showing your hand" and a spouse as an enemy were quite strange and hopefully his viewpoint represents a minority of how Somali men see relationships. Good luck to your cousin DoctorKenney, he sounds quite mature and has clearly thought this through carefully. I hope the rest of the family will come around soon and respect his decision, she will soon be a part of the family too.

Though I've had this account since 2010, I only really started posting on SOL relatively recently so I had no idea about this annual competition lol. Thanks guys

thefuturenow;986509 wrote: A long AND honest conversation. . .about the circumstances of a previous relationship? Your expectations of men are too high. Of Somali men, astronomical. That's quite the pessimistic outlook on our men. That hasn't been my experience so I don't agree with you, and I know enough stand-up guys to prove your generalization false. Besides, a man who is serious enough to discuss marriage with me but refuses to be open about his divorce is a huge red-flag for trouble and an indication NOT to marry him. On to the next...

After more than 60 years of analogue storage in an inadequate environment, the Radio Mogadishu audio archive is being digitized in order to save it from deterioration and introduce the unique Somali historical recordings to new audience. This is great. Would any of you happen to know the state of Somalia's national archives in Mogadishu?

thefuturenow;986503 wrote: lol Hee? It wouldn't be very smart to marry someone who has been divorced without having that conversation first.

DoctorKenney;986269 wrote: I agree, the whole situation is even disturbing to think about. But when it comes to marriage, everyone has an opinion on who they want their friend/relative to marry. As if the marriage would affect them in any way Is there more to their objections, or are they fixed on the idea that she's been divorced and that your cousin absolutely must marry a woman who has never been married before? Sometimes people who have never been in relationships before can be naive about relationships/marriage, so make sure that your cousin fully understands what he's getting into and how things will be once the initial excitement and infatuation wears off. Children complicate the situation further because there will always be an ex in the picture, as he and his ex-wife are co-parents for life. Personally I'm open to marrying a divorced man, but I would want to have long, honest discussions about the circumstances of the divorce, why his previous relationship failed and why he feels this one will be different. Sometimes two people just can't make it work together and it happens, but other times there are men and women with real, personal and personality issues that make it difficult to continue a relationship with them, so I would have to be certain it's not the latter. I'm not so sure about children because at this point in my life I don't want to be a parent, but I wouldn't be opposed to being a stepparent in the future. You get kids without the inconvenience of pregnancy, labour and stretchmarks dee

Looking forward to reading your story, broer

SNL's skit last night :D

Work on your reading comprehension and quit projecting, Hawdian. Haatu started using the word adoon on the first page, and it's something I've commented on in past threads. The kid is brighter than both of you and knows better than to interpret my critique of a term as an attack on his family history. I was actually planning to send him a message to suggest recording his family members' oral accounts of what happened, not only because the stories themselves are important but for record keeping of witness testimonies in case of future court action/settlements like the Mau Mau case, which succeeded because of the archival and oral history work of historians and student researchers.

Apophis;986364 wrote: Handkerchief is a very funny word. I wonder about its etymology. Not that difficult.

^ You have no self-awareness or historical understanding whatsoever of Somali history and African history more broadly, I would laugh at you if it wasn't so tragic. The same Europeans who set foot in the Somali peninsula in the 19th century, partitioned us between themselves and denied us our freedom and humanity for decades, and decided to leave NFD with postcolonial Kenya in 1963 thought of *you* as an adoon too in every sense of the word, whether you want to believe that or not. I don't care what you believe or what things look like in the parallel historical and political universe you seem to exist in, but I've spent enough time spilling over the writings of dead white dudes writing about us to understand what's at stake when Somalis internalize this BS.

Apophis;986366 wrote: The guy's family were nearly killed but you "don't like" a very common word because it disturbs your refined sensibilities, which is above all else. The bourgeoisie cocoon you live in has never allowed you to experience an hour of reality in your life. Don't be a moron. Do you know how many people have been killed, enslaved, colonized, exploited because of that word, because Africans were considered nothing but "adoon," non-human, primitive, barbaric, backward? That includes Somalis too, regardless of whether you think you're above your Africanness or not. The very reason NFD is part of Kenya today is an inheritance of a shared history of racial oppression in East Africa as Africans, you would be hard pressed to find a region in Africa more defined by the legacy colonial partition and rule than the Horn of Africa. You are the one who has no grasp of reality and what it has meant to be an African in the world. The stup*dity and myopia is astounding. How do you fail to see this?

Thanks for sharing your mom's account, Haatu. I don't like how you keep referring to non-Somali Kenyans as adoon, though... I understand the resentment but racist and hateful language is unnecessary. Mohamed Adow did a great job with this, the documentary is already being circulated widely and I've seen a lot of interesting debates as a result. I wish he had been a little more aggressive with the internal defense minister and the police chief though.

Presposterous;986332 wrote: What a punch of elitist, welfare raised, underachieving, my-shit-don't-smell thinking , and pathetically judgemental. I would hate to be co-workers with you persona-non-gratas Welcome back Alpha.

Presposterous;986321 wrote: @saffers..yeah and ...? ..my job allows me to do this, to dwell on my phone's Internet .. I think when a user overdoes it like this, it's poor forum etiquette and an abuse of posting privileges. Consider making a troll thread to post whatever you'd like, instead of starting a separate topic for each thought that enters your head.

Apophis;986320 wrote: The plastic Barbie doll look is off putting. I agree, I never said anything about looking overdone with caked on makeup. But playing up your natural features is great. Most guys have no clue about about makeup, and would be surprised to learn how many products go into a "no makeup" look lol.

You've started 9 threads in less than three days...

Apophis;986307 wrote: You need that huh? I see you've never met a girl before, huh? Makeup is an accessory, it's fun to play with different colours and textures, and even someone with supermodel good looks is more put together and polished with some makeup on.

Tallaabo;986284 wrote: ;) you are crazy Saf. I wonder how much money is left in your bank account at the end of the month:confused: Don't ask me that Tallaabo I'm officially on a no-buy until mid-December... when I hand in my last paper of the semester, I intend to spend an ungodly amount of money on makeup If I can hold out that long lol.