Do Somalis cry? Do they have emotions like other people? Does heartache mean anything to them? Do they hurt when throbbing with pain? How many of us really cry when we see ourselves on TV: Disheveled. Deranged. Divided. Feeble. Cracking guns. Right at the bottom of human society? How many of us really feel anything when we are met at foreign airports with derision and unwelcoming stares? Really, how many of us know that we are all Somalis and that as far as the outside world is concerned we are one and the same? And that as long as we don’t forgive each and show mercy to each other no one will ever take us seriously? Indeed, how many of us really wonder at the gravity of our situation? If the happenings of the past 16 years are anything to go by, we should by now know that we Somalis have become experts at dismantling our home and dispersing our people. A visit to any Somali discussion group will show us just how further removed we have become from our original Somali-ness even though every site is screaming Somalia . Somalia . Somalia . Our failure to unite in loving brotherhood has shown us, and the world, just how deep this disconnection has dug into the Somali psyche. Even though we say we are Muslims, even though we swear on the Qur’an, even though we read: (And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves; (Chapter 3, Verse 103) And again, (Be not like those who are divided amongst themselves and fall into disputations after receiving Clear Signs: For them is a dreadful penalty,- ( Chapter #3, Verse #105) Tafararaq has become a badge we wear with glee and satisfaction. Brothers and sisters, don’t be fooled, to remove this pandemic it will take more than a few handshakes and a few signed papers. Personally, I blame our hardheartedness and obstinacy on the day’s tragic state. Of all the emotions that Allah has endowed with man, the one we Somalis lack the most is compassion, and I can’t see us acquiring that quality unless a drastic change comes from within each and every Somali. All we see are the negative vibes, brute forces and general nonchalance, while Islamic tolerance, brotherly love and compassion for our fellow citizens have all been slaughtered at the altar of dispassion. I hope I am not exaggerating and that you won’t disregard this as a hare-brained woman’s delusions. I want you to keep reading and I want you to be honest with yourself. This is a reality and we Somalis are living with it as we speak. There are no tears in our eyes. There is no compassion in our hearts. Some of us shout and howl, but are we capable of shedding honest tears? Are we capable of repentance? Is it possible for us to face our Lord and tell Him the Truth, nothing but the truth, in prayer and truthful recognition of our failing as a community? Our Lord! We are sinners, all of us, East, West, South and North. Some of us had been responsible for past sins and some of us have repeated and tripled those sins. But now we're sorry for destroying ourselves, our nation and our people. We are sorry for giving Islam a bad name. We had been shortsighted and ungrateful. Will you please accept us, change our hate into love, and make us into loving humans who can co-exist and can take care of their own, and are at peace with their neighbors and humanity as a whole? If there is one thing we’ve learned during these trying times, and even before that, it is that we Somalis are hardhearted, hardheaded and unrepentant. It’s anathema for Somalis to bend. A Somali man does not cry. The community does not allow fathers and brothers to shed tears, in as much as they abhor admitting their mistakes. This is seen as weakness. A conversation I overhead long ago has proven to me again and again the deep implications of what it means to be a Somali. For instance, a Somali male is a person who doesn’t show his true feelings. And no one expects him to weep at his tragedies or failings or cry or shed tears even when his loved ones pass away. Yes, a Somali male is expected to seek revenge, that he would do, especially in these times of lawlessness, and if he can’t find the culprit, he would find someone else (an innocent man) from the tribe (Jahiliya period style, pre-Islam Bedouin tradition) But will he shed tears for the departed? Don’t count on it. That’s unmanly. But fortunately for the community, a certain man had once found the heart to break the cycle of the upper lip and I am not shy to share his story. He had done the unthinkable. He cried in full view of an 'observer' and was caught red-handed, shedding tears (isaga oo ilma duugaya ayaa lagu qabtay) . Please note, the poor man’s wife had just passed away, leaving behind five children, and people were baffled at the very idea of his shedding tears! If this wasn’t a rare feat, I am asking, would people comment that the bereaved man was shedding tears? His wife had just passed away, and the women were flabbergasted that he should have tears in his eyes! Believe it or not, this is the Somali culture and it’s deeply ingrained. A Somali male is geesi (hero) if he can kill/be killed or brave self destruction iyo dib aduun (worldy trials) with gusto and without cih! Then he is a geesi geesi dhalay (a hero and son of a hero) We are supposed to be so tough and so dogged that even our women aren’t supposed to say cih! in the throes of child labor. Small wonder that we can live with so much pain, and for so long! And we are still putting on a brave face! Our culture doesn’t even allow Somali men and their living spouses to have quality time together. I guess it’s a sign of weakness for a Somali man to spend more time than necessary with his wife and children. Some merely tolerate the kids when the father happens to be around the house. I assure you if the men and the women were spending more time together we’d see less guns, less Qaat, and more hugs in the homes. But that’s altogether a different story. Off course, we are not like other people, we are Somalis and despite our dire straits we are constantly upbeat about our tragic dilemma. We say we love our beloved Prophet yet we don’t follow in his footstep of tolerance, compassion or fairness. The mosques are filling up with more and more people yet no Sheikh or Imam is urging the worshippers to pray for peace, nor do they advice the worshippers on the most basic Islamic practice of becoming good husbands, good fathers, good neighbors, good Somalis or even good Muslims. But stranger still is the belief (and I am basing my contentions on stories I have heard) that crying and shedding tears even at Allah's House Baitul Allah, is an ‘Asian thing’…Apparently only Pakistanis and Indians and other emotional folks cry during Hajj and Umra! Somalis crying by the Kabah, if at all it happens must be a rare sight! According to Somalis I talked to, Don’t count on your luck to see a Somali male crying his heart out by the Kabah! If feelings are at all present in this worshipper's heart, they are buried deep. As people make Tawaaf, it's not difficult to spot Nigerians or Iranians or others crying in their tongues or in heavily accented Arabic, One sees Indonesians and Malaysians overtaken by emotion, but Somalis? According to Somalis themselves, Somalis don’t cry. They are not given to baring their souls. Not even to Allah, I must add. Because if we did bare our souls to Allah, the Merciful, would we remain in this disgrace for this long? I don't think so. Those of you who had gone for Hajj or Umra would know the sheer magnitude of this Holy experience. This is the time when hundreds of thousands of believers converge, for some a once in a life time experience, to pay homage to their Creator Lord as guests of Ar-Rahman, the Merciful, this is the time when believers simply let go of themselves and their egos; repent from their past sins and make a vow not to ever repeat the same. The Hajj is in fact a manifestation of Islamic brotherhood. As is the visit to our holy Prophet’s mosque where we are granted the chance to walk on the places our beloved Prophet and his blessed companions and family walked; this being an opportunity to mingle with those elevated spirits who cemented the ties of Islamic love and brotherhood. Unfortunately, this holy experience which can only be celebrated through tears, remorse, deep faith and renewed energy and love, simply passes by us Somalis, year after year. This opportunity for reunion and reconciliation just passes by us, year after year. We all want to go to Hajj and Umra, those of us who can afford it, yet where is the love for our fellowman? Where is the hunger for brotherhood? Brothers, hold it there, I am not talking about specifics here, just stating a general Somali malaise, self-righteousness and remorselessness. Banal as these might seem to people not given to sentiments, such coldness speaks volumes with regards to our current situation. Some might attribute our lack of solidarity to unlucky circumstance. Some might even argue that the reason why we are not softening so easily despite all the difficulties Allah has put in our way is because we are patient people. Well, I beg to differ. We are not patient people. We are just plain hardhearted. In other words, way nan jixin jixin. So much so that the recording angels must be having a hard time wondering what to put in our books. (Do they not then earnestly seek to understand the Qur'an, or are their hearts locked up by them?) (Quran: Muhammad, Chapter #47, Verse #24) Without a doubt, Somali hearts are locked up, and the key, which happens to be brotherhood has been firmly buried somewhere known to us, or at least known to some of us. And unless we Somalis bring this key back, no amount of outside help, interim governments, Arab sympathies, Islamic courts or tribal associations will provide cure. Allah does not help those who do not help themselves. And unless we change from within, become sincere and upright, we will never reap the fruits of nationhood or dignity. The cure is in the Somali person’s heart. Now shall we shed tears or shall we not? Do they not then earnestly seek to understand the Qur'an, or are their hearts locked up by them? (Quran: Muhammad, Chapter #47, Verse #24) Since we have come this far, I suggest that we all do this little experiment. I have got this special bucket and I want to see it filled with tears. The feelings are within us. Let’s release them into this bucket. It’s easy it can be done. And while at it, it pays to keep this in mind: We Somalis we are a tiny nation. As believers our strength lies in love, brotherhood and unity. So it is for own survival as a community that we pass this bucket around. And pass it on to the government, and on to the clan elders, to the courts, to husbands and wives, and to every Somali internet site, including all cyber lands. Then only would we be able to mend the fences, break down the walls, win each other’s hearts and bring peace and prosperity to our nation. Wassalalahu ala sayidina Muhammad wa calla aalihi wa assahabihi wassalam! Wa billahi tawfiq wal hadaya. Copyright Safi Abdi, 2006, edited, 2007. The same Essay has appeared on Wardheernews, Awdalnews,Harowo,Authorsden,*********** and Camel Milk Threads.

LadyMo wrote: In 1960 Egal brought Somaliland to unite with their fellow Somalis unconditionally. Maybe the only hope of bringin Somalia as a whole back together is to repeat history but with a different twist. Wat if the Southerners handed their Transition government ova to Hargeysa and said its your turn to save Somalia! Let de North take de lead for once wat do ya'll think?> Agree with you 100% this is a brilliant idea, and one that would heal the wounds. I am so excited...Now all we need is to propagate the idea, it can be done, LadyMo. Why not? What have we got to lose if we make Hargeisa the capital city of a healthier Somalia? Baashi, thanks for bringing up this topic. Safi

Do Somalis Cry? Do Somalis have emotions like other people? Does heartache mean anything to us? Do we hurt when throbbing with pain? Cry when overwhelmed by sadness or are able to collapse under duress? How many of us really cry when we see ourselves on TV: Disheveled. Deranged. Divided. Feeble. Cracking guns. Right at the bottom of human society? How many of us really feel anything when we are met at foreign airports with derision and unwelcoming stares? Really how many of us know that we are all Somalis and that as far as the outside world is concerned we are one and the same? And that as long as we don’t forgive each and show mercy to each other no one will ever take us seriously? Indeed, how many of us really wonder at the gravity of our situation? Our brothers are shunning us. Our enemies are playing with us. Our children are leaving us. Our friends have become our enemies and our enemies our friends. If the happenings of the last 15 years are anything to go, we should by now know that we Somalis have become experts at dismantling our homes and dispersing our people. A visit to any Somali discussion group will show us just how farther and farther away we have moved from our original Somali-ness even though every site is screaming Somalia. Somalia. Somalia. Our failure to unite in loving brotherhood have shown us and the world just how deep this disconnection has dug into the Somali psyche. Even though we say we are Muslims, even though we swear on the Qur’an, even though we read: وَاعْتَصÙÙ…Ùواْ بÙحَبْل٠اللّه٠جَمÙيعاً وَلاَ تَÙَرَّقÙواْ ‘And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah’(Sura 3: 103). Tafararaq*1 has become a badge we wear with glee and satisfaction. Brothers and sisters, don’t be fooled, to remove this pandemic it will take more than a few handshakes and a few signed papers in front of the camera. Personally, I blame our hardheartedness and obstinacy on the day’s tragic state. Of all the emotions that Allah has endowed with the human, the one we Somalis need to bring out into the open is compassion and unconditional love, and I can’t see that happening unless a drastic change comes from within each and every Somali. All we see are the negative vibes, brute forces and general nonchalance, while Islamic tolerance, brotherly love and compassion for our fellow citizens have all been slaughtered at the altar of dispassion. Tearless-ness has mired our seeing and our eyes remain dry even as we are gobbled up by our own defeat. I hope I am not exaggerating and that you won’t disregard this as a hare-brained woman’s delusions. I want you to keep reading and I want you to be honest with yourself. This is a reality and we Somalis are living with it as we speak. There are no tears in our eyes. There is no compassion in our hearts. Some of us shout and howl, but are we capable of shedding honest tears? Are we capable of repentance, can we face our Lord and tell Him the Truth, nothing but the truth: Our Lord! We are sinners, all of us, East, West, South and North. Some of us had been responsible for past sins and some of us have repeated and tripled those sins. But now we're sorry for destroying ourselves, our nation and our people. We are sorry for giving Islam a bad name. We had been shortsighted and ungrateful. Will you please accept us, change our hate into love, and make us into loving humans who can co-exist and can take care of their own, and are at peace with their neighbors and humanity as a whole? If there is one thing we’ve learned during these trying times, and even before that, it is that we Somalis are hardhearted, hardheaded and unrepentant. It’s anathema for Somalis to bend. A Somali man does not cry. The community does not allow fathers and brothers to shed tears, in as much as they abhor admitting their mistakes. This is seen as weakness. A conversation I overhead long ago has proven to me again and again the deep implications of what it means to be a Somali. For instance, a Somali male is a person who doesn’t show his true feelings. And no one expects him to weep at his tragedies or failings or cry or shed tears even when his loved ones pass away. Yes, a Somali male is expected to seek revenge, that he would do, especially in these times of lawlessness, and if he can’t find the culprit, he would find someone else (an innocent man) from the tribe (Jahiliya period style, pre-Islam Bedouin tradition) But he won’t shed tears for the departed. That’s unmanly. But fortunately for the community, a certain man had once broken the cycle of the upper lip and I am not shy to share his story. He had done the unthinkable. He cried in full view of an 'observer' and was caught red-handed, shedding tears, isaga oo ilma duugaya ayaa lagu qabtay *2. Please note, the poor man’s wife had just passed away, leaving behind five children, and people were baffled at the idea of his shedding tears! If it this wasn’t a rare feat, I am asking, would people comment that the bereaved man was shedding tears? His wife had just passed away, and the women were flabbergasted that he should have tears in his eyes! Believe it or not, this is the Somali culture and it’s deeply ingrained. A Somali male is geezi*3, if he can kill/be killed or brave self destruction iyo dib adoon*4 with gusto and without hih*5. Then he is a geezi geezi dalay. WE are supposed to be so tough and so dogged that even our women aren’t supposed to say hih!*6 during child labor. Small wonder we can live with so much pain for so long! And we are still putting on a brave face! Our culture doesn’t even allow Somali men and their living spouses to have quality time together. I guess it’s a sign of weakness for a Somali man to spend more time than necessary with his wife and children. Some merely tolerate the kids when the father happens to be around the house. I assure you if the men and the women were spending more time together we’d see less guns, less Qaat, and more hugs in the homes. But that’s altogether a different story. Off course, we are not like other people, we are Somalis and despite our dire straits we are constantly upbeat about our tragic dilemma. We say we love our beloved Prophet yet we don’t follow in his footstep of tolerance, compassion and fairness. The mosques are filling up with more and more people yet no Sheik or Imam is urging the worshippers to pray for peace, nor do they advice the worshippers on the Islamic practice of becoming good husbands, good fathers, good neighbors, good Somalis or even good Muslims. But stranger still is the belief (and I am basing my contentions on stories I have heard) that crying and shedding tears even at Allah's House Baitul Allah, is an ‘Asian thing’..Apparently only Pakistanis and Indians and other emotional folks cry during Hajj and Umra! Somalis crying by the Kabah, if at all it happens must be a rare sight! According to Somalis I talked to, Don’t count on your luck to see a Somali male crying his heart out by the Kabah! If feelings are at all present in this worshipper's heart, they are buried deep and aren’t seeable. As people make Tawaaf, it's not difficult to spot Nigerians or Iranians others crying in their tongues or in heavily accented Arabic, One sees Indonesians and Malaysians overtaken by emotion, but Somalis? According to Somalis themselves, Somalis don’t cry. They are not given to baring their souls. Not even to Allah, I must add. Because if we did bare our souls to Allah, the Merciful we wouldn’t remain this disgrace for so long. Those of you who had gone for Hajj or Umra would know the sheer magnitude of this Holy experience. This is the time when hundreds of thousands of believers converge, for some a once in a life time experience, to pay homage to their Creator Lord as guests of Ar-Rahman, the Merciful, this is the time when believers simply let go of themselves and their egos; repent from their past sins and make a vow not to ever repeat the same. The Hajj is in fact a manifestation of Islamic brotherhood. As is the visit to our holy Prophet’s mosque where we are granted to walk on the places our beloved Prophet and his blessed companions and family walked; this being an opportunity to mingle with those elevated spirits who cemented the ties of Islamic love and brotherhood. Unfortunately, this holy experience which can only be celebrated through tears, remorse, deep faith and renewed energy and love, simply pass by us Somalis. We all want to go to Hajj and Umra, those of us who can afford it, yet where is the love for our follow man? Where is the hunger for brotherhood? Brothers, hold it there, I am not talking about specifics here, just stating a general Somali Malaise. Self-righteousness and Remorselessness. Banal as these might seem to people not given to sentiments and Ilma duugid*6, such coldness speaks volumes with regards to our current situation. Some might attribute our lack of solidarity to unlucky circumstance. Some might even argue that the reason why we are not softening so easily despite all the difficulties is because we are ‘patient people’. Well, I beg to differ. We are not patient people. WE are just too thick-skinned In other words, Way nan jixin jixin?*7. As Allah points out in the Qur’an, ‘Do they not ponder the Qur’an, or are their hearts locked up by them.. Ø£ÙŽÙَلَا يَتَدَبَّرÙونَ الْقÙرْآنَ أَمْ عَلَى Ù‚ÙÙ„Ùوب٠أَقْÙَالÙهَا (Sura, 47: 24) Yes, Somali hearts are locked up, and the key, which happens to be ‘brotherhood’ has been firmly buried somewhere known to us, or at least known to some of us. And unless we Somalis, Shacabka somaaliyeed*8 bring this key back, no amount of outside help, interim governments, Arab sympathies, Islamic courts or tribal associations will provide cure. Allah does not help those who do not help themselves. And unless we change from within, become sincere and upright, we will never reap the fruits of nationhood and dignity. The cure is in the Somali person’s heart. Now shall we shed tears or shall we not? Since we have come this far, I suggest, and this is from the heart, that we all do this little experiment. I have got this special bucket and I want to see it filled with tears. The feelings are within us. Release them into this bucket. It’s easy it can be done. And while at it pays to keep this in mind: We need each other. We Somalis we are a tiny nation. As believers our strength lies in love and brotherhood. Let that be our guide. So pass the word around. Pass the bucket around. Pass it on to the government and pass it on to the clan elders, to the Islamic courts, to husbands and wives, and to every Somali Internet Site, including all ‘cyber lands’ and all the ‘clan lands’, and ‘clan courts’. And let’s all hand this down to our Muslim kids. Then only would we be able to mend the fences, break the walls, win each other’s hearts and bring peace and prosperity to our nation. Wassalalahu ala sayidina Muhammad wa calla aalihi wa assahabi wassalam! Wa billahi tawfiq wal hadaya. Author Website

I suggest you should get your copy of the book: "A mighty collision of two worlds" before you embark on this project. The book is a case study of a mixed marriage and should open your eyes to the perils of such a union. I do not want to discourage you, but since you asked for advice this is the best I can give you...it isn't as easy as you think... Please take a break from the relationship and start reading the book, both of you. But whatever you do don't convert to Islam just to get married. Click here to check out the book

The subject of Muslim Women's Rights has been a hot topic in certain circles for sometime now; some of the most strident voices emitting from quarters whose knowledge of Islam borders the ridiculous. Their allegations are mainly based on assumptions and pre-conceived ideas about Islam. There's also no dearth of opportunistic scribes, posing as "experts", whenever the chance to make a quick buck or an impromptu appearance on a favorite TV show avails itself. Unfortunately, the way people treat one another these days in so called "Muslim lands" also bloats the cloud of confusion. More often then not, people confuse the teachings of Islam with what those who call themselves "Muslims" do, forgetting the glaring fact that Islam isn't the personal property of anyone. Nor is it a 'label'. Islam is a dynamic way of life that nurtures and supports the sincere follower who lives his life according to the Divine injunctions. To read full article, clink here: JazaAkkallahu khyran!

S.O.S. Thanks, nothing personal in the article, it was a prelude to a real article I had been meaning to share:) Please check it out under: How to treat a Hate-Foster. I had to show the symptoms before treating the patient. Btw, why is the place so quiet? Are you guys busy with studies?????? And thanks for sharing the poem...should be shared with the warlords as well.

How to Treat a Hate-Foster and transform him into the Planet's Happy Conciliator. A follow up to: Are you a Hate-Foster…or a Reconciler? In the introduction to that post, I asked the following: Do you get a kick out of hating humans? Or are you the type of person who would nib the urge to hate at the bud and get on with life, even when angry? Are you in the habit of nursing ill-feelings against others until it becomes humanly impossible to retract from your stance? Or would you rather look yourself in the mirror and say, Look, it's OK to let go of my rage. I may be angry at so and so's doings or at such and such, but I don't have to hate them. After taking the reader through the symptoms and the kind of evils that can set in the personality if hate is fostered and allowed to prosper. The article closed on a positive note, offering remedy to the sufferer and hope to society. If you haven't read the previous article (Are you a Hate-Foster;or a Reconciler?) please do so now before proceeding with this one. Here's the link: http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewarticle.asp?AuthorID=12449 Now is there really a way out for the Hate-Foster? Can he be persuaded to change his stance? And what steps must be taken to ensure that he doesn't infect the environment and those around him? The answer is, yes, there indeed is a way out for the Hate-Foster. A reader gave me a catch phrase when she said: Kill the Hate-Foster with Kindness. And that's exactly what this sequel is all about. So we are on a mission here and we are about to kill hate with kindness. We are about to embark on the wing of an olive branch and we are about to fly back back in time to pay a well needed visit to the world's greatest Teacher. A universal teacher whose life transactions are not only ignored by the vast majority of his adherents, but one whose inspiring persona has yet to dawn on the lives of billions of challenged people around the globe. And it's from his wisdom, leniency and gentleness that we are going to seek our cure. Nine things the Lord hath commanded me: fear of Allah in private and in public; justice, whether in anger or in calmness; moderation in both poverty and affluence; that I should join hands with those who break away from me; and give to those who deprive me; and forgive those who wrong me; and that my silence should be meditation; and my words be remembrance of Allah; and my vision be keen observation. He also said: "Allah is gentle and loves gentleness" "A believer is gentle and friendly." "Make it easy, not difficult, for others." "This religion is of an easy nature. Anyone who pulls hard against it shall be the loser." "A rider driving hard neither reaches his destination nor keeps his transport." "May Allah have mercy on any person who is tolerant when he buys, sells and asks for his rights." "A believer gets on well with others and is easy to get on well with." "The type of man Allah dislikes most is the quarrelsome one who does not budge." The era in which God chose to usher this gentle light into the spotlight were not helpful times. People were not only ignorant of the true nature of the Divine, they were plain rough; given to senseless strife and rivalry. Prior to Muhammad's prophet-hood, it was said, a tribal warfare ignited over a she-camel, and this fight continued for about a hundred years! So you can imagine just how rough things were. Add to this, the kind of mentality rampant at that time, general ignorance and illiteracy a handful people could read or write. So no help from books either. Notwithstanding the material gains and hi-tech innovations, humanity is once again on the brink of a great disaster: spiritual darkness, senseless violence, misunderstanding and deep distrust of the other have become the order of the day. These are strange times, and if God's gift to humanity is ignored and thrashed by ignorance then woe to humankind. If his healing was needed then to straighten out the crooked, that therapy is exactly what's needed today to treat our ailing world. If his calm, gentleness and wisdom were ingredients that were needed to bring the warring tribesmen of those times to one loving brotherhood, his gentleness, tolerance and wisdom are exactly what we need to heal our world and bring humankind back to their humanity, and ultimately back to their Lord. O you frenzied Muslims…drop dead in your tracks, and pay attention to your prophet's teachings: 'A man cannot be a Muslim till his heart and tongue are so.' 'He is not strong and powerful who throweth people down; but he is strong who witholdeth himself from anger.' 'No person hath drunk a better draught than that of anger which he hath swallowed for God's sake.' It is related that at the time of the prophet Muhammad there lived a certain old woman in the city of Medina who used to harass the prophet by throwing garbage on him. The prophet would simply shrug it off and pass on his way. One day, the old woman falls sick and is prevented by her illness from her customary persecution of the prophet.Did he throw curses after the woman? No, Muhammad heads to the woman's house to inquire after his harasser's wellbeing, offers his sympathies and asks the woman if there was anything he could do to help her! Now that's what I call killing with kindness! 'The good deed and the evil deed are not alike.' Says Muhammad's Teacher in His Final Message to humanity. 'Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then lo! he, between whom and you there was enmity (will become) as though he was a bosom friend.' (Qur'an: chapter 41 Verse 34) Not only did the prophet Muhammad practice patience, self-control and love and care for our follow man, he inculcated in his students and companions methods and ways of overcoming negative emotions. Once a man was about to enter the prophet's assembly, the prophet pointed to the approaching man as a man of Paradise: One of the prophet's companions became curious and wanted to know more about the new comer's spiritual condition. To study the man of Paradise more closely he invited himself to the man's house and stayed with him as a guest for three days. To his surprise, the companion found nothing in the man that would place him above your ordinary guy. So after the three days had passed, the guest asks his host about the secret behind the latter's status. The man could not put his finger on anything except that he was in the habit of forgiving people every night before he went to sleep. All you grudge-bearers...listen, listen, and again listen, forgiveness is the key to your well-ness, forgive, and even paradise will be at your feet. A true believer is one with whom others feel secure. One who returns love for hatred. Many a grudge-bearer might be in the mistaken notion that he is serving Allah, but that's not what Allah said: 'And the servants of ((Allah)) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, Peace!' (Quran: Chapter 25: Verse 63). And who truly are the real believers, if we may ask? 'Those who avoid the greater crimes and shameful deeds, and, when they are angry even then forgive;' (Qur'an: Chapter: #42, Verse #37). 'Believers, never let the hatred of a people toward you move you to commit injustice.' (Qur'an Chapter 5: Verse 8) It is related that a man asked the Prophet for advise, Prophet said, 'Do not become angry and furious.' The man asked (the same) again and again, and prophet repeats the same, 'Do not become angry and furious.' Now what advice would Muhammad give to the angry who are making our lives a living hell? 'Sit down!' if still untreated, 'Lie down! Once a Bedouin came to the prophet's mosque, found himself a place and started to urinate in the holy place…People were aghast and were about to hurl themselves at the man… Now what did Muhammad (sa)do? First, he told the well meaning folks to hold their horese, secondly, he allowed the urinating man to finish his business, thirdly, he simply cleaned after the man! 'God is mild, and is fond of mildness,' Muhammad (sa) taught his students, 'and he giveth to the mild what he doth not to the harsh.' 'The most excellent Jihad, Muhammad (sa)taught, 'is that for the conquest of self.' '' Nine things the Lord hath commanded me: Fear of Allah in private and in public; justice, whether in anger or in calmness; moderation in both poverty and affluence; that I should join hands with those who break away from me; and give to those who deprive me; and forgive those who wrong me; and that my silence should be meditation; and my words be remembrance of Allah; and my vision be keen observation.' ----------------------------------------------------- Copyright © Safi Abdi, 2006, all rights reserved.

Halimopatra, Perhaps one day in the near future, inshaAllah, Our Somali Kings will get their act together... Great poem!

You said: Just because you’re not the same tribe –don’t really mean I hate you! Well said!

Truly inspiring. Safi

Haseena, Thought-provoking poem you penned here, yes, death is around us...thank you so much for the reminder. May Allah bless you with a long happy life! Safi

A mother myself...heartwarming tribute to all mothers! You've been raised well, my dear! A daughter...this is what I composed for all mothers. Infopop Homepage

Sad situation really...it's a no win case. We all lose. Your cries are heard, Poet! Safi

Ameen! Powerful poem! Safi

It was a long fretful watch Stretching years of secrets divulged Ifs and whys splashed everywhere. Even as I screeched a mark On the mired pages Scarred faces my pen evaded Speechless, An Angel shook its head,upset. History stalled. In the weeping arms of her mother A baby girl rocked herself to slumber. A disheveled kid rushed on the road, A rusty AK-47 his only consort. A door slammed shut, crestfallen, The ruined house of Somalia, Powerless to contain the hurt therein. A widow gave birth And increased a populace wounded. The sea was overwhelmed by the salt it held And took its anger on the wavering seized. Doomsday is an arduous day, A foretaste replayed in the African Horn Even as Angelic discourses went by, unheeded And the moaners dilly-dallied, sidelined. It was a long fretful watch Ifs and whys abounded Unrequited questions weighed down our mother Hellish burdens indiscrete Hovered on shoulders too narrow for the hold. Somewhere in the firmament A higher being flapped bejeweled wings Sun rose yet again to renew her calls But the earth-bound as usual on the prey feasted. Greed-locked they sullied the continent’s spoils. Grow up, Africa! Your desperation’s flowered by your own meanness, Own up! Burnt stars shake off their ashes, Own up, Africa! It was a long ludicrous wait Tongue-tied the pens quivering in the folds, wailed. In this drapery of the world’s most tedious narration Even the accursed devil his face buried. My pen drowned in the sweat of my hesitation Expecting clouds withheld their goods, a scenario replaying my own vacillation. It was time Sun bid adieu And the day’s cares coated with dew. I rest my case by the setting sun And like a disgruntled branch I can only my dissatisfaction share With the reclining ground. Ultimately, A conductor of my spirit alone, The melodies of nature alone in my ears a balm Sight unwavering on the farthest horizon This last Spark being what held my reason. But then again, When there’s none else but Him… Isn’t the cry: Ya Allah! Copyright: 2006 Safi Abdi, All Rights Reserved. Author Homepage

Are you a Hate-Foster...Or Reconciler? Do you get a kick out of hating humans? Or are you the type of person who would nip the urge to hate in the bud and get on with life, even when angry? Are you in the habit of nursing ill-feelings against others until it becomes humanly impossible to retract from your stance? Or would you rather look yourself in the mirror and say, Look, it’s OK to let go of my rage. I may be angry at so and so’s doings or at such and such, but I don’t have to keep hating them forever...I've a life to live... Feeling rage and expressing it at some point in one’s life is a very normal thing. More often than not, we might be forced into situations that warrant some form of retaliation. There are times the upsurge of the feeling is so swift that it can take us unawares. It can happen to us all. Mother Earth was not meant to be stress-free, nor is it a place where people are allowed to keep their cool at all times. In any given situation while one might be justified in expressing his anger, however, what is not desirable or helpful to one’s growth, is to allow oneself to be totally at the mercy of one’s negative emotions. Emotions, if not guided by wisdom or a caring heart can lead one astray, and the deeper one sinks into such sentiments the more disastrous the exaggerations. If such delusions give you a high and you don’t mind entertaining them in your psyche then beware you might be a step away from being a Hate-Foster, if you already are not one. Now a Hate-Foster is someone who enjoys bad feelings; he gets a kick out of bad-feelings so much so that hurting others is some sort of a tonic for his ego. Give him an excuse to get puffed up with rage and he’d jump into it without hesitation; he won’t ask questions nor would he allow himself a second opinion. While most people’s dissatisfaction might be momentary, a Hate-Foster’s sentiments can last a lifetime. It’s as though his attitude were etched in stone. If he doesn’t like you today means he'll never like you, ever, no matter how nice you try to be to him. Everything is in black and white. He'll never look at your positive side, nor would he try to place himself in your shoes, never. As far as he is concerned, you are a lost cause. There are no second chances in his books. A Hate-Foster is someone who not only gets angry when he’s got a reason to get angry, he can also get angry without good reason or be enraged at people had never even met. If someone told him something about someone, he’d keep this in memory for as long as he lives. He won’t forget; and no, never will he pause to ask, Is it true what I heard? Could be someone is lying to me about this? Such a person might be as eloquent and imaginative as the greatest of poets, but unfortunately for him, his dictionary is so tightfisted against his opponents, that he'll be damned if his opponents would ever get a whiff of such simple words as: forgiveness, even-handedness, etc. etc. The more seasoned the Hate-Foster the harder it is to please him or change his stand. This is a person who is so in love, though he wouldn’t know it, with his frame of mind; so much so that he never loses a moment to badmouth those he perceives to be his opponents; discrediting them at every opportunity, and sticking to his guns as though his happiness depended on it. Such a person stands a high risk of alienating others; being in constant battle with the weaklings of this world, or so he thinks of those who won’t bow to his warped worldview. But his determination is such that he has the ability to infect his environs by disseminating misinformation, half-truths, and what have you, to unsuspecting folks. I wont drop any names but the internet is awash with such creatures. And that’s how the condition known as Bias is usually born, and bred in the minds of people who don't think for themselves. Now, due to the day’s political climate, lay people everywhere (whether they are normal people or Hate-Fosters) are being manipulated by smart politicians. People are conned into mindless games, of tit-tats, and if you're a born Hate-Foster, then God help you, for you’d not only jump on the bandwagon you’d make it your business to take over the reigns. As we speak, there are many Hate-Fosters (and they come in many colors and creeds) who are jostling for the job and steering into perdition our planet without taking into consideration the harm they are casting to the hapless populace of this planet. Most people would rather just go on with their do to day affairs. They have families to take care of; bills to pay; they need time to sleep and unwind from a hard day’s work; time to play, time to pray; and the list of errands are as long as your life, and the time and energy required to fulfill life’s demands just as enormous. Moreover, even thinking and conjuring evil thoughts about others, I believe, must requires time and energy, that could well have been spent on the finer things of life, such as having warm feelings and good thoughts about others. Moreover, most people would rather attend a wedding rather than a funeral. A word of Advice to a Hate Foster: Life is short. You don’t have a spare lifespan to waste on anger and delusions. Life is given to you to enjoy it and you won’t do that if you are always fostering hate and sizzling in anger. At the end of the day, it’s you who is wasting his time and health, and not the object of your anger. Please stay tuned for, How to treat a Hate-Foster and transform him into the Planet’s Happy Conciliator. Author Homepage -----------------------------------------