Originally posted by Mombasa_QUEEN: hey ya lady dont you think nowadyz ya need a guy to spoil ya i mean in a good way for ex. take you out to breakfast,launch,and dinner give you gift,tell you every min how he love you and appriciate you lol and hang out with hes family if possible lol,take you to the beach,take you shopping,movies i mean let him be a reall men and also call you every min and let you knw how much he loves you Sounds like a stalker to me.

I thought the women's section was for MEN to talk about their favourite subject, i.e women.

I forgot to mention that you just HAVE to see the best musical ever made in human history, Les Miserables at the Queen's Theatre. Trust me, you can't leave London without seeing that.

This is very inspiring Sophist, thank you for reminding us of our duties. Lazyiegirl, you're not making any sense. I think you've missed the point of the article. Sophist is not trying to impose the burden of the community on its women. It's a well known fact that in most muslim communities, it's men who play a more active role. Besides, the issue is not whether men can do more for the community or not. Not everything has to escalate into a gender war. All this article is doing, is reminding us sisters that we make up half the community, and it is time for us to shoulder some responsibilities that won't undermine our lifestyle, but would actually enrich it.

I've never liked the experience of eating out. I don't really trust most restaurants, and the expensive posh ones seem okay, but then I get paranoid about liquor in my food. You know how they put alcohol into EVERYTHING.

Originally posted by NGONGE: By the way, why limit yourself to London? Go touring in the whole of the UK. Don't you know that civilisation stops at the M25? Go check out Camden market, one of my favourite places in London. And Greenwich town centre, it's a beautiful place, the Greenwich university is simply breathtaking, and the market is always fun. Nice view of the Thames too. Go visit the British Museum too, you can never go wrong with that. I've been there dozens of times since I moved here, and it's still as thrilling as the first time I went there. If you go to a cafe somewhere, don't forget to order a Jacket Potatoe. It's absolutely revolting and VILE, but you can't leave England without having tasted one, if only to complain about it later. Which is another thing Londoners LOVE doing, so don't be surprised if everybody you meet if moaning about one thing or another. Don't forget to pick up a Tube Map, you won't regret it.

Originally posted by NoVa_*: So for those of U Who doens't SPeak SOmali,maybe who know's u'll pick it up faster than u thought after all somali ain't that hard 2 write and read. When I first got here, I was really annoyed that I couldn't understand most of the posts and it took me about 15 minutes to figure out what a sentence meant, but you do pick it up as you go. Now it only takes me 10 minutes to read a Somali sentence. I disagree that this is an Af Somali forum, I see it as a forum where Somali people can meet other Somali people and exchange ideas. Especially for people like me who don't know have any Somali friends or acquaintances. But even though I would personally prefer if people spoke more English, or at least have an English summary of what they're saying in Somali, I wouldn't want them to stop speaking Somali. It helps me improve on my own Somali, all I ask is for the hardcore Somali speakers to be a little more considerate when writing long posts in Somali during an interesting debate, because I genuinely want to know what that person has to say, and how I can learn from people if I don't understand them. I like the idea of a forum where people can only speak Somali, and be forced to write in Somali (and hopefully the regular posters will be maganimous enough to overlook the terrible spelling and grammar ). But let it also be about Somali culture, rather than just language, because I have even less experience with our culture than with the Somali language.

I don't know really, I do think it is our place to offer something to those who have suffered at the hands of our brothers. Parents apologise for the actions of their children, employers apologise for the actions of their employees, etc. I think it is very good that the muslim world is finally addressing these issues, and making it clear to the world that this is not the way of Islam. Perhaps rather than apologising, (which is a form of admitting guilt), muslims could be a little more vocal in denouncing these crimes and delivering the true peaceful message of Islam. But to expect us to apologise for those so-called-muslims, is like expecting every guy with a bad haircut to apologise for Charles Manson.

Originally posted by think_tank: Ali (ra) said, " Islam is not a matter of opinion" to elaborate on this, let me say that we all know what is decreed upon us. to which option you we choose thats for us to know, there is no need blabber about it. some of things we say might affect some1 n u'll be accountable for dat inspiration. Okay, I'm not entirely sure if I understand. I understand there's no need for discussion on whether certain things should or should not be done, as the Quran already decreed what is permissable and what isn't. However, are you also saying that we shouldn't talk about our choices and our opinions regarding things that Allah made halaal for us. It's like saying we're not allowed to say that we don't like the taste of grapefruit because it is too bitter, because Allah (swt) made it halaal. As long as we don't actively try discourage others from what Allah has provided for them, I don't see what's wrong with expressing our own views. Just by exercising our right to choose doesn't mean we're guilty of anything if someone else decides that they agree with me. Everything you say might affect somebody in this world, you can't use that as a reason not to speak of anything. Especially if it's not xaraam, like it's not xaraam to decide not to marry somebody who already has a wife. It's a choice. And for the record, if somebody was "inspired" by my choice not to marry a polygamous man, in most cases it's probably something they already wanted to do, regardless of my opinion. I don't think it's bad of a woman to reject a man who wants to marry another. To preserve the peace in the family, I think it's better for the man to find a like-minded partner anyway.

I know a lot of people would say that in this day and age, it is more preferable that both partners have a degree. I agree too. However, it takes an exceptionally open-minded man (and some in cases, woman) for equality in a relationship to work. In my case, though I want to get a degree and a well-paying job, on principle I'd want my husband to be slightly more educated and have a higher income than me. Not because I expect my husband fund my irrationally lavish lifestyle or anything, but because I think he might want to, even if he can't. It's hard enough trying to maintain a relationship, without the man feeling threatened by his partner. I think it has something to do with male pride, an attribute that has been nurtured from an early age, by films, books, society etc., that the man has to be the dominant element in a relationship. I don't think many men can cope with having a wife who's more successful and more educated. I women in general, or me in particular, aren't too fussed whether he's more or less intelligent (as long as he's adequately educated), so we tend to lean towards compromise on this matter, for the sake of peace. At least I would, I think. Also, there is a part of me that likes to learn, I've always liked to be around people who were much smarter than I was. So I guess I'd want the kind of husband who could supply me with ceaseless intellectual stimulation. However, just as a man might be threatened by a successful wife, a man might also be more patronising to a partner who's not as educated or well-off. I think in order to maintain a balance, the wife should be sufficiently educated and enterprising. This way she can hold her own in arguments and the decision making processes, and be an active part of the relationship.

Well I think pink looks good on a certain type of guy, and only if it's a very light shade of pink and when worn with other darker (and thus more masculine) colours. I like to think that guys who are confident enough to wear pink, are also very likely to be confident enough to exfoliate and moisturise their skin, and thoughtful enough to put the toilet seat down, and are always acutely aware of their personal hygiene. Which is always a good thing.

my fav book has to be the HOBBIT, its funny and intellegenlty written, to me its a classic. Yeah I love that book too, even though I prefer Lord of the rings.

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo is my favourite book of all time. I would love to read that again for the first time and fall in love with humanity all over again. It's usually books that have a great twist, but who otherwise don't merit a second reading, that I wish I could unread. If only to experience the thrill and shock of an unexpected ending, like The Partner or Runaway Jury by John Grisham.

keith sweat-twisted That's one of my favourite songs! Oh well, Rammstein aren't that bad, granted I only know one song from the xXx soundtrack, but still. At least I'm not listening to Marlyn Manson Yeah Toxic has to be Britney's best song, it made me like her again.

I'd like to know what you people at SOL are 'grooving' to (oh God, I actually used that word). So what's on your playlist now? Or which CD/s are you listening to? Mine looks a little like this - Bad Religion - I love my computer - Beatles - Hey Bulldog - Blackeyed Peas - Let's get retarded - Eminem - White America - Dido - Life for rent - Linkin Park - Breaking the habit - Linkin Park - In the end (remix) - Linkin Park - My december - Matchbox 20 - Unwell - Metallica - Whiskey in a jar - Metallica - Unforgiven II - Metallica - Hero of the day - Outkast - Roses - Rammstein - Feur Frei - Razorlight - Golden touch - Singing in the Rain OST - Moses supposes - Singing in the Rain OST - Singing in the Rain (I love Gene Kelly!) - Usher - Burn - Usher - Throwback

That woman makes my blood boil. What makes me angrier is that this constant supply of blatant lies hasn't been questioned by newspapers, commentators or anyone from the media in Holland, as far as I know. Because at the moment it's only the muslims who are disputing what she's saying, and honestly, who's going to listen to them now? It doesn't help when muslim teenagers are issueng death threats left and right either. You know everybody loves a victim, and it only serves to confirm her warped views. I suppose the best muslims in Holland can do is lead by example, and admit that there are problems within their community and demonstrate a willingness to address these problems. However, the one fact that they need to emphasise is that these problems stem from complications within their culture or human behaviour and doesn't originate from Islam. A lot of people like Ayaan Hirsi don't understand the distinction between culture and religion. PS. Thank you Ngonge for the translation. It's really hard sometimes to engage in discussions on SOL when you only have a basic grasp of what people are saying.

Originally posted by Devil's Advocate: Such propoganda.... Yeah, it seems like the perfect ideal lifestyle, with no drawbacks at all. Don't mormons have limits on the number of wives? Because if the husband carries on this way, he'll have annexed most of her female social circle.

Originally posted by Boolbaro: marka horeba maxaan dad kale ugu ogalaan iney naagteyda ka dhaliyaan, anaa ka dhalin oo soo jiidi cunuga, no way am gona allow another person to deliver my child, anaa xaq u leh inaan arko gacanta ugu soo horreeso oo soo baxdo ama minjaha, cunuga xuduntiisa dheer inaan ugu hor arko waa farxad in la igaga hor marana ma doonayo walaa hooyo walaa dhakhtar walaa jinni iyo jaan kale, marka kolleey su'aashiina aniga ima quseeso full stop, anaa ka dhalin naagteyda oo shanta farood la gali, that is all Goodness, lol, I'd pity your poor wife when you start yanking things out down there.

Originally posted by Mutakalim: Lack lack lack lack lack lack etc. You my friend, have just opened a universe-shaped box of questions. I lack the ability to do something about the things I care about. I look at what's going on in the world, I see the blatant corruption of a each-man-for-his-own culture, I see the ruthless destruction of our environment but aren't allowed to do anything about it, because I don't hold a citizenship in the countries in which said destruction is taking place. I lack the power or perhaps the confidence and determination to do something about it. I lack a sense of reality. I believe in people even when they don't warrant any such belief. I think all people are inherently good, and that the world is a magical place, where the fantastical stuff movies are made of, really exists in the world. I lack money, and thus the freedom to do the things I want. I lack Somali friends, who share at least some of my interests. I lack common sense when it comes to finances. If I see a pair of shoes, I will not care about whether my family will go hungry the next day, I will buy those shoes. I lack any great serious problems. Problems, people often tell me, that would make me stronger. Nonetheless, it's a blessing I thank God for every day. I lack the confidence to sing in the middle of the street with my coma-inducing bad voice, just because I feel like it. I lack the maternal instincts that make me want to be a mother. At the moment, the most important thing I lack = Diet Coke Lemon. Argh!

Honestly of all the Somalis they could have elected, they had to get to dumbest most backward of all of them. I wouldn't have cared if she criticised Islam, after all everybody is free to make their own minds up. However, what she is doing is quoting every two-bit right-wing tabloid's undocumented vague perceptions of Islam. She's blatantly taking verses and histories out of context, that it's only natural that the Dutch public is terrified of muslims. Before it was just the extremists that concerned them, but thanks to this ignorant sub-standard politician the whole bloody country thinks that muslim, moderate or not, are inherently evil and that we are covering up a culture of sadistic indulgences and perverted sexual practices like incest. She might put a small disclaimer into her writings and say that there are a few muslims out there who aren't supremely evil beyond all doubt (or something). Of course what that implies is that vast majority of muslims are a dangerous mob ready to annihilate all who don't subscribe to their views. What the papers are doing is then misquoting her, taking something out of context that was never in context, in the first place. And yes, the papers have a field day, because she's providing them with an outlet. They themselves aren't allowed to say Islam is a vicious sect or call all muslims men ignorant tyrants and claim that all muslim women are in need of liberation, because they're all brainwashed. So Ayaan provides them with the sensational quotes that would allow them to express those views indirectly. She is putting her views forward in such a deliberate and misrepresenting manner, that I can't help but think if she isn't really just pandering to the current anti-Islam sentiments so prevalent after 9/11, to further her own success. Honestly the way she harpers on about her poor tragic past, where her uncle almost forced her into an arranged marriage, almost reeks of a narcissistic glorification of her victim status. Thousands of Somali women have suffered the same (and worse) abuse at the hands of misguided members of their family or society, yet you don't see them denouncing Islam. Because they at least can tell the difference between culture and religion. Most westerners can tell the difference, yet this woman who claims to have inside information, doesn't. What's sad about what's going on Holland is that very few people are criticising the media distortion or her views. Most people who dispute her views are muslims, and honestly, after Ayaan, who is going to listen to them? The media turned her into a bloody living martyr, at the cost of millions of law-abiding peaceful muslim citizens. She's the hero now in the struggle for emancipation from Muslim oppressors. (oh the irony) In Britain, at least, an MP couldn't get away with such behaviour. Because there would be at least a dozen or so journalist at hand, ready to contradict any MP who anything that's even slightly off course. Writers in Britain I believe would have picked up on the situation as it is in Holland, where there is this widespread and almost exclusive adoption of one side of an argument. What happened to journalistic integrity? What happened for the basic belief that no one is above questions, that no comment can be issued without relevant evidence? I'm not saying that British journalists are ideal, but they at least leave no man uncriticised, even their heroes, or perhaps, especially their heroes.

If I was giving birth, I'd want my husband to be there, so he can see exactly how much pain he caused me. I'm a firm believer in sharing my misery and especially my pain. I won't let him forget a single detail. I'd remind him every day of what I went through to deliver his child. In fact, I'll have someone videotape the whole ordeal, and in the future if he opposes me in anything, I'll just show him the tape of me suffering endless hours of excruciating pain, and tell him: "Once you've gone through the same thing I have, only then are you allowed to argue with me, now go buy me that expensive necklace!"

I thought Xu might be corrupted by reading some biased book who rants and raves about some somali segments as is the usual with these political books. She seems to have a heart that is not tainted with prejudice, and I wanted her to keep it that way, hence, my advice to her to stay incommunicado about the whole madness. Somali politics are not for everyone. You good sir, seem mistake me for the average Daily Mail reader. I thank you for your concern nonetheless, but you shouldn't worry. I'm good at making my own mind up, that's why I'm asking for books on a variety of subjects, instead of something like Somalia for dummies. Why bother? She is not getting into the mess. She is merely trying to understand the root cause of all of this mayhem. Nothing wrong with that methinks That's exactly right, thanks. Thank you Waryaa Dude and Baashi for your recommendations, I'll check them out as soon as God gives me the chance.

I have to admit that my knowledge of the Somali situation is less than minimal, so I was wondering if anyone could recommend me any books on the subject. Anything about history, politics or social studies of Somalia would be great. Or anything else you might think is relevant. Obviously the title, author, and edition would be great, thanks. If you have any links to online bookstores, that would even be better, but not necessary of course. Online sources are welcome too, but I'd prefer books. Thank you.

I always thought Xuux meant ouch!, it's the sound children usually make when they're hurt.

My Somali is quite bad too, it doesn't help that I don't know many Somali people. People often say I speak like an 8-year old when speaking Somali. But I've noticed a visible improvement in reading and writing skills since I joined this forum and was forced to read the posts written in Somali (I used to skip those ones and only read the English posts).