21-24 1. Education 2. Marriage 3. Children ( I wonder how else children would come before marriage that is being gaalo won't agree?) 4. career ( not too crazy about it unless otherwise necessary)

I don't know if you girls noticed this but it happens to me often. Men are always intimidated by my personality. I am one of those sisters who come too strong and have strong stand and outspoken, most guys that I meet tend to be petrified literally by my presence. Some of them even admitted to being intimidated. I wonder why? I might be hard-headed, strong sister with objectives yet I am also a simple sister with flaws... My question to you is, Why do sisters who know what they want from life pose such a threat? :rolleyes:

YUP! It is indeed happening.. You know what is funny??.. Our culture and how it facilitates for all kinds of diseases and abuse. Going back home was indeed educational for me but the most dusturbing was illiterate women who come from the rural areas to generate income for the family back in the baadiye. These young women have no families, and get no help from those residing in the cities. So they harbor with all kinds of low life scums that don't show mercy. They start to sell tea to the Jaad chewers and end up attending to their every need eventually. The parents of these girls know the situation of their daughters yet they entertain themselves with the thought that she is doing it for a "good cause". Imagine that!! I may sound harsh or at times anger but our culture is something I am not proud of to tell you the truth. I have learned a lot these past two months and did alot of observation. We need to redefine our culture.. make changes.. and set examples for noble cause... Till then time my friends adios..

Sorry guys I had a lot on my plate.. and was unable to response earlier... I can't respond directly to each and everyone of you but will definitely give you a summed up briefing of the situations.. FGM: Most of the NGOs located in Somalia have the eradication of FGM as their primary target, however our culture lays strong barriers with the religious scholars who tend to have strong hold on society having wrong perceptions of the whole NGO concept. Mainly what these NGOs do is, they have adopted a norm and their main participants are women since women are the ones that are affected by the process.. So they hold seminars, workshops and created integrated curriculums for the schools of primary education and Adult education, in this way the message of FGM and its live long problems can be passed down to many. There are of course men who play important role as well in educating other men on FGM. Although the discussion of Women genital parts is still a taboo among the majority yet seminars on elimination of FGM has become somewhat acceptable, and more folks join as days goes by.. As for AIDS...It’s the biggest Taboo of our times. LST doctors do tell those that are diagnosed the truth however, the HIV positive person threatens the doctor to keep it confidential and never share it with anyone, and if the doctor doesn’t bide by that, he better have his/her “karfan” ready. The society is not ready to acceptance the existence of a disease that has no cure. And as I have stated previously, they don’t believe a Muslim can get it. The HIV positive people can’t dare declare their illness to their own families let alone the community. There were a couple who admitted to having contacted AIDS in Hargeisa on the Radio.. and guess what happened to them. They were kicked out of the Hotel they were in (they came from Burco), their house was smashed to rumbles, their families abandoned them.. and they were asked to leave their home country.. Now they reside in Ethiopia deprived of the last precious moments of peaceful death. There might be many of you that don’t know what FGM does to girls.. so here are some of the problems faced by women who underwent the knife.. At the time of circumcision and before marriage: · Nonstop bleeding ( some times causes death) · Blockage of urinal tubes · Tetanus · Jamming of the menstrual period At the wedding night · Painful penetration (this in turn causes some wives to blame their husbands and some may end up hating them too) During pregnancy: · Prolonged labor · In some cases inability to deliver babies (altering of the female genitals causes them to loose their natural elasticity thus forcing the butchering of the women all over again.. repetition of the circumcision process) · Death of the mother/child There are also many other problems such as formation of tumors in the ovaries due to the obstruction of the period.. since a small opening is left for the girls when they are circumcised, majority of the period blood that was supposed to be cleansed out remains in the uterus. Over period of time this contained dirty blood causes formation of tumors and uterus and bladder diseases. TO THE SISTERS THAT HAVE BEEN CIRCUMCISED: There is still help for you.. don’t assume its too late its not. You can still recover some of the damages… by going to your nearest hospital and asking for a simple operation. Tell your doctors to re-open the hole… and you can prevent majority of the problems… Hope that covered it all… and if you guys still have suggestions/comments or questions just holla.. it may take me a while to respond coz I have a lot of things going on but I will certainly check SOL once a week…if not more.. till then salaama… And Good luck to my sisters.. Mobb depp: Aboowihiis email me the information on the Gurmad org.. and let me know what they stand for and what their goals are… my email is wahuuda@yahoo.com…. Thnx a bunch…

My beautiful Ameenah: I am really glad that you feel that.. I hope to see you there...I sure do plan to go back more often...Thanx for the warm welcome.. I knew I had my nomadic family behind me... Ramadan Kariim sweetie.. I c u have been made a moderator in my absence.. congrats.. how does it feel to wear the hat???

Cawaale: absolutely alot of things made me smile.. such as beautiful landscapes... everything in its state of origin. The innocence and simplicity of the villages. It made me wonder why we are scattered so far apart when we are blessed with a land so breath-taking? But the problems and the poverty that prevails everywhere makes you loose focus and urge you to find a solution rather than praise the lands.... Yacquub: Absolutely. There is a Doctor called Abdinasir.. he is currently working in Galkayo.. I can surely get you documents if you like that will confirm my claim.. but what do you plan to do once I present you these documents? Are you going to be " reer fadhi ku dirir" or are you going to go back and make a difference and sacrifice your well moulded cozy life? Murad: I don't think insults of this nature was called for. Hibo baaye, anigu awalba dhiillo mooyee dhawaaq farax leh dhankaas kama sugayn, waxaas oo kale in aad ku hadasho ma aheyn. Cid dhileysatay ma jirto.. aad iyo aadna waad u af xuntahay ee get some manners.

Dawaco good topic sis... well I am late but like they said better late than never... so here is my two cents... I think most of us ( Somalis ) have adopted alot of the western mentality and confuse between being a traditional woman and a super woman. If I elaborate in my own definations... Traditional woman to me is one who knows how to adjust to changes and fulfill her natural role (to bore and bring up capable children and to attend to her family's every need). Super woman is one who tries to alter or change the role Allah created her for. Don't misunderstand me sisters. I read some of your postings and you tend to believe that it would be a waste to go to school for 18 years only to end up being a housewife. You are wrong if you reach that conclusion. When you have a degree it is an asset for the family. As we all know, mothers play the most vital role in shaping the personality and ambitions of their children and rarely do the fathers make a difference. Your education will be the foundation for your kids and their future. It will be route for perfection. I don't know if you guys have really had a thorough conversations with your sisters/mothers who have been a superwoman in their entire lives. I am sure they will tell you, that every inch of their body ach and their wish that they had stayed at home and taken care of their children.. My mom has been a working mother her entire life and believe me she has done a great job in bring us up but then she regrets being a superwoman. And wishes that she had stayed at home. Most of us hate to be referred to as housewife mainly because we believe that it is an inferior word that is used to define a useless being. Trust me its completely the opposite. Stay-at-home-moms are the backbone of the family and without them, the great nations you see today won't be in existence. I don't know if you the sisters follow the news of the Feminists but majority of the western superwomen are now realising their mistakes in taking up the jobs of their husbands while fulfilling their role as well. I may not make a whole lot of sense for majority of you but this is just my opinion and shouldn't be taken as a sign of weakness or woman bashing, but I don't think getting education has anything to do with having a career.. Education of the girls is important cause tomorrow if something happens to the fathers, they can sit on the drivers' seats and not need instructions as to how to turn the wheel.

Flying: Umaaaaaaah... I missed u immersely walaahi u can't imagine...thnx baby girl. Yeah we held a workshop for the religious leaders of Puntland just to make them aware of the AIDS and how it is affecting the population. Guess what their response was, " gaalo ayaa inoo keentay waa in la eryaa NGOska iyo intii la shqeysaba"... Imagine that. Nuune: Walaahi aduunka amakaag iyo yaab lee igu soo dilay wadankii... Miss: Its no joke sweetie... Dawaco: Do go sister.. it will motivate you to want to make a difference.. It did that for me anyways.. Lefty: I worked for the eradication of FGM ( Female Genital Mutilation) and prevention of HIV/AIDS for two months.. don't you think I am bound to know the statistics?

Salaam Fellows, Ramadan Kariim.. It has been a long time indeed.. Been back home and whatever I saw can't be summarized here but I will give it a shot. 1. Goats leaning on the walls ( qaad bey ka dhargeen... can't balance their heads ) 2. People you don't know who will respond to your conversations ( complain, nag, question and comment all at the same time whether asked or not) 3. Mean a** Mosquitoes ( Trust me no repellent is strong enough for these mutant mosquitoes.. They gotta have the bites) 4. Insects (Roaches, ants, lizards...) all part of the family (its not dirt.. they are everywhere) 5. Dabogur ( a girl claims that she has been dabogur-ed while she was sleeping ... meaning raped and noticed the aftermath in the morning.. apparently she has been sleeping through the whole ordeal ... aha not in my world "we call that prearranged") 6. Godobtir Nin baa nin dilay... gabar ka mid ah his family, ama clan or a relative ayaa reerkii laga dilay la siinaayaa oo la leeyahay tan ha idin dhasho kii aan idinka dilnay iyo in ka badanba. ( And the guys in the west wonder why women put them in jail... go figure) Although I was completely satisfied with the fact that I have finally landed in a place where I was the majority and the white/black and yellow were minority yet the ignorance, poverty and the abuse that prevailed everywhere was disturbing. I have met with an unfortunate sister who has AIDS in Galkayo ( Mind you 4 of 100 in Galkayo are infected with HIV/AIDS).. and I asked her how shegot it.. this is her story, " Nin aanu ilmo adeer nahay ayaa waxa uu ka yimid yurub. Asaga oo aad caato u ah oo jiran. Markii uu noogu yimid tuuladii aanu daganeyd odeyyaashii waxa ay ku taliyeen in la siiyo gabar walaasheey ah loona qalo neef ari maalinkasta si uu uga bogsado jirada heysay. Walaasheey ayaa sidaa lagu siiyey ninkii. Sidii loo joogeyba ninkii waa uu dhintay walaasheyga waa jiratay. Nin asaga reerkooda ka tirsan ayaa yiri waan dumaalayaa oo caruurta ina adeerkeey nin kale uma dhaxaayaan. Sidii baa walaashey lagu dumaaley. Sadex sano ka dibna walaasheey waa ay geeriyootey. Ninkii ay ka dhimatay waxey reerka ku taliyeen in aniga la ii siiyo oo caruurtu aaneey naga lumin. Ninkii waxaanu is qabnaba waa uu dhintay labo sano ka dib. Markaas ayeey yaabeen sababta keeni karta dhimashadan faraha badanle oo na soo saameysay. Markii dib la isugu noqday ayaa waxaa la go aan saday in nin dhaqtar ahaa oo mar mar tuuladeena imaan jiray loo sheego arinkii. Ninkii ayaana aniga i keenay Galkayo si leegu baaro maadaama aan ana soo xanuunsaday. Baaritaankii leegu sameeyeyna waxaa la ogaaday in aan cudurkan qabo. Markii la sii baareyna waxaa la ogaadey ninkii walaasheey la siinjiray ee caatada ahaa... in uu noo keenay cudurkan." It was the saddest day of my life... I watched an innocent young sister lie on her dying bed for a disease she didn't ask for. That is what the men/women who got the disease did back home. There are so many stories... so many cases. Our culture facilitates the spread of this disease with, " Dumaalid & Xigsiisin". Those of us who are diagnosed with AIDS, don't take it back home. They are poor people who are illetrate and believe this disease is for the Gaalo and not muslims. Leave it in the west. I am affraid it will soon wipe out majority of the population if prevention and educational programs are not implemented soon. Its spreading fast and those that are contaminated can't even admit it to the larger public. They will be deprived of the few months they have left to live peacefully. SO my brothers and sisters devote a month or two of your years to your homeland...it needs you. Any kind of aid u can offer is needed. Ramadaan Kariim and Eid Mubarak if I am not around to wish you all.

Salaam All, Big Mom: Thnx sis.. Yeah it feels great being good... MIndstate: OOOOOOH I am taken by your structure.. oops sorry I lost posture! Illmatic: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmc sweetie thnx. I am doing great... and HELL YEAH don't care for the humors.. but they were too darn many I couldn't ignore them.. Bachelor: kkkkkkk... I sure hop eto sustain my freedom... my mom is on my tail driving me nuts... IMprerial_Lady: Although I can't tell who u r but Mankato is my heart sweetie... and u guys better keep my SSA on top.. I will be coming down this Dec... to grab my degree but I won't leave without saying my salams... Mizz_Unique: Sorry to have broken ur hopes.. but I am still FREE........like a BIRD...n enjoying it to the fullest...but don't worry when I get that guy who swaps me off my feet and brings the world to my arms.. i will let u know!

Salaam Nomads, I have been receiving PMS full of congratulating notes. I thought of it as a funny rumor but it has gotten my attention lately that it is indeed a reality in SOL. GUYs I AM NOT MARRIED or ENGAGED. I don't even have a boyfriend. So whoever is spreading these rumors stop. I am around just not particpating as much as I would like to coz I am busy. I miss you guys though.... *mac*

Og- I am thrilled to top your list... However I lay out a hand of invitation to join me in Abu Dhabi before I leave...so what do you say? Come see me this summer... I will provide your stay, Bed& breakfast included...

I met a sister in the army actually she was in Fateville NC base... she was in pretty good shape...and actually liked it... so I don't know about you... its a choice.. if u like it join it if not.. let it be.. Its as simple as that!

To me definitions vary as far as modernatization is concerned.. but yes I have seen alot of girls that are too modern... to me as well.. I am not gonna claim traditions but I am more Somali than the majority... isn't that right illmatic ?? U know me here... Ayaanick stay true to urself.. if u r too modern for this faarax u might be too traditional for another...Who knows the world works like that..But if I give u little advice... Yes you are too modern "Don't eat me.. I am just kidding girlfriend"

jamaal: i think you and I have that in common.... One fact about me is..... " I don't have patience"

To me I think attitude matters. Some girls they get into the family with the assumption that no mother in law or sister in law are decent enough to accept. So regardless of how nice the in laws are, they will never satisfy the wifey. Thus causing alot of misunderstandings and hatret. I believe its the responsibility of the wife to care and be patient with her husband's family. There is a Somali saying, " Qofka lama guursado reerka ayaa la guursadaa". I strongly agree with that. Qof kaan aad guursaneysid reer buu ka dhashay sida adiga oo kale. YOu shoulnd't expect him to desert his family to be with you. Of course there are in-laws made in hell but than patience does alot of wonders. I believe if you are tolerant and reciprocate their evil actions with good deeds I am sure you will get along fine sooner or later.... But then who has patience nowadays, so sisters before you get carried away with the brotha's charms, get to know his family and see if you can blend in. If you can't get the hell out of there and call on the next...

Og Have some patience plssss... and read it!

I didn't even know someone made me an enemy... wow Psycho_Sue I must say Thank you for holding me in that high regard... I am rather impressed that there is someone in SOL would take the time to fetch me a home and condemn me. I never mingle with girls yet they seem to be having issues with me, so miss psycho what is your deal? You ask that I apologize but I wonder for what? If I recall right I never interacted with you.. or did I? Og_ You have my heart thnx for defending....

Ameenah: I couldn't have said it better sis.. You said it all... Don't change just accept them... period!

Guys I apologize for my comment on Somaliland.. it was never my intention to spill out what those words.. Gaashaamo: I can go on debating with you on this bro but I am just gonna leave it there!

*********EDITED*************** PLEASE STOP THE NAME CALLING Admin Somalia Online --------------------------------------------- I don't know if you guys listen to the BBC or not but the police of the world (USA) order formation of a government in the South by June 15th and Somaliland will unite with the South once they have stability and safety. They said even they would send troops to unarm the civilians. SO after all GREATER SOMALIA will make it... **********EDITED********. No offense but isn't their newly elected president one of the known people who did the damage to Somaliland when Barre regime was in control? Mise did I miss something. Anyways their self proclaimed democracy is just frivolous in nature. So no worries they r not going anywhere.. [ May 19, 2003, 03:28 AM: Message edited by: Admin ]

To me, they are not part of a puzzle but each is the ingredient to the cake, mixed together they make perfect dessert. But then the individual decides beauty, and yes I do strongly believe the phrase, " Beauty is in the eyes of beholder". Well for one my friends and I can never agree on what is beautiful, so having said that I think definition of beauty varies from person to person. And for one to get to the brains of the person they have to first like what they see. To get to tha brains, don't u have to be attracted to the beauty first? ..just a question.. I totally agree with Afrikan to some point. I mean if the relationship was formed through the world of cyber than its a completely different ball game. In that case what attracts you to the person is their brains not their beauty, coz you haven't seen them yet. So the possibility that you would get with them regardless of their looks is high in the net, but in real life I think what first comes is the beauty than the brains. But the the question remains what is considered beauty??

Well! I am someone who bases her thoughts on things she sees around her, and since I haven't seen a kid that was sent to SOmalia for dhaqan celin.. I think I will give my full opinions on that once I get back from Galkacyo/Hargeysa. I am going there on 5th June... and will be back on early July. I will let you know what I think of Dhaqan celin back in the homeland..

Super: I agree with Missy... it actually wins you some points when you are straight with a sister, and some of us would even find a guy who asks, " How do I approach you?' cute. So put your guards off and be simple, nice and most of all yourself. Just say salaamu caleykum, I am not the kind of brother plays around so let me be straight with you. I have been trying to approach you for a while without being offensive so plz do tell me how do I approach you?... and then see what she has to say... Good luck bro!

Xafsa: SHAME SHAME SHAME on MSU. Given the fact that majority of the Africans on campus are Somalis yet none could cook for display of their culture?? None that is a SAD STORY. SHAME SHAME.. Now since you have moved to Mpls who is running my SSA? Nafisa: Thnx for the tip for the caramel, actually I use many different kinds of milk but just to make it easy for the sisters/brothers here I said milk As for the reer xamar sweets.. its quite easy Qumbe: Just beat one egg,1 cup milk, 1 cup sugar and 3 cups coconut flakes. Now pour the whole thing in a baking tray and bake it in 350 degree. Till its all hard and set. Then you can cut as you please... As for the Shushumow which I assume u were referring to as using forks... well if you know how to make sambusa wraps than its easy. Make the sambusa dough...now fidi or roll it and then make your own designs or cuts. Then deep fry them till golden. after frying the whole thing. IN a large cooking pot add 1/3 cup of water and 2 cups sugar. Then heat it for 2 mins. Add the fried pieces and toss them till all of them are glazed..... Bon Apetite`