^^ Look at the sister before u Ameenah: How did u manage to write so much sis.. I signed up for this forum way b4 u did yet... am not even upto 1000? Damnnnnnnn Gurl! Tip If u suffer from dry skin like I do Applying honey on ur face would make your skin look healthier and feel soft. Don't forget to let leave it on for like 30 mins... Tip 2 If u r at a party and you sweat, u can freshen up by patting your face with a tissue or a napkin but make sure u don't use the same napkin u wipe ur mouth with.. it conflicts the ettiquette of table Product moisturizer/ hyderating gel from Clinique. It does wonders for your face. Its a bit expensive $50 but its worth it.

Does anyone feel like this is "Dhaqan Dhumis"? I mean since when did we take our youngsters to an island away from family to amend them to the ways of our lives? About the FGME... I think its not about isolation rather taking the time out to talk to your child about sex... coz its mandotary in this foreigner lands.. Because no matter wat the parents hide, the society they livein exploits so.. why not educate your child about sex according to your believes and your conception of it instead of making it a taboo? Just imagine...if someone told u not to think of something or even mention it.. aren't gonna get curious to know just wat all the fuss is all about? I mean its in our nature to be curious of things we can't see or touch... so make it part of your child's life to accept that sex is indeed part of life. U can explain to your child.. U can't get into middle school without attending primary and u can't attend primary without attending kindergarden... so u can't have sex without getting married.. and u can't get married without growing up.... u c... u gotta break it down for ur child... I don't think isolation is the way to it. May be the hush hush method worked back in Somalia coz the whole society played as a team.. but not in the western world... Anyways that is my thought.

Halima: It depends on the man sis.. and nowadays.. men don't even ask if the girl is in tact or not.......all they want is a wifey who is obedient and submissive. Baashi: I totally agree with you. Zinah is zinah.. no matter wat the reason might be!

lol.. professor... I thought cravings were for women.. I guess I thought wrong.. but I do get cravings.. all the time.. especially for something sweet... an eclair, doughnut, Ladu, Rasmalai, Sha'biyat, Basbusa... etc... even a whooper... come to think of it.. I haven't had a whooper for like 3 years... darn! :confused:

LZ: lol.... I didn't approach them bro.. they came to me.. and from their look I thought they were older.. and being the shy person that I am.. I dind't ask their age.. but after a while from the way they were behaving and their take on certain situation made me suspicious.. and that is when I got the NEWS. and I bounced out of it as fast as i could...

GCredit: Walaalkiis, Every woman should obey her husband's commands and requests unless those requests conflick with her religion. Than she can object to them. As for providing breakfast to her husband in bed well its his right, but Allah does not admire anyone who is lazy. And laziness is the only reason why one would require breakfast in bed. I don't know if u know this but let me tell u a lil story about laziness. Abu Bakr Sidiq (Radiyal Allah Canhu) was travelling with his slave one day. He was sitting on the camel when the string or the robe used to control the movement of the camel ( I think it would be safe to call it the wheel of the camel) fell off his hands. He could just tell his slave who was walking to get it for him but instead he made the camel to sit down and he got off the camel to get it himself. Now wat does that tell us? It tells us that as long as we are fit and able we should do everything by ourselves. Walaalkiis waa laga duceysaa kasalka ama lasinesska... iyo pride ka... its not admired in Islam. So get your lazy self off your bed and get yourself some breakfast Although husbands have rights over their wives and can demand anything of their wives yet helping his wife with the house chores is sadaqa. Our Prophet Mohamed (SCW) used to help his wives with the daily house work... so it won't kill you to get your breakfast yourself. Here is da dua one should recite when u feel lazy to do work for urself اَللّهÙمَّ Ø¥ÙنّÙيْ أَعÙوْذ٠بÙÙƒÙŽ Ù…ÙÙ†ÙŽ الْعÙجْز٠، وَالْكَسْلÙØŒ وَالْجÙبْن٠، وَالْهَرَم٠، وَالْبÙخْل٠، وَأَعÙوْذ٠بÙÙƒÙŽ Ù…Ùنْ عَذَاب٠الْقَبْرÙØŒ وَأَعÙوْذ٠بÙÙƒÙŽ Ù…Ùنْ ÙÙتْنَة٠الْمَحْيَا وَالْمَمَات٠translation: O Allah, I seek refuge in You from weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, anxiety and sorrow, and I seek refuge in You from the torments of grave, and I seek refuge in You from the trials and tribulations of life and death.

^^^ Seems like u misread my quote... #5 says... Treat him the way you want him to treat you... I don't expect to get breakfasts in bed... he shouldn't either... so there is no contradiction... And if know anything about the religion... Its not encrouarged for one to lay down.. and be served when he has the health and the energy to do things for himself.

I really don't think acting someone who u r not adds or subtracts value on or off who u r. So my advice is pretty simple... 1 Be Yourself 2 Be strong 3 Know exactly what u want 4 Be firm about principles and laws u followed 5 Treat him the way you want him to treat you

Well I was one of those liberal Somali sisters who believed age to be nothing but a number till I dated a younger brother.. not one but two.. and believe me....they ain't nothing close to the older brothers.. They lack the maturity and the comprehension one would perceive of older men... so Its a NO thank you.. offer as far as dating a younger man goes..

There are some BS but overall it described me honestly...here is wat it said about me.. April 9, 2005 Men See You As Desirable Men often find you immediately attractive and sensual You're honesty is refreshingly beautiful ... it draws guys in ( Now that is the biggest lie.. coz men run when they see how honest I am, coz they cant handle a red hot iron on their tail) You are also able to be open with your feelings with no emotional baggage (True, am an open book u can read me if u got glasses on) Packing light means you enjoy new relationships easily

We sit here and do nothing while out country is destroyed and our people devastated... Tell my brothas and sisters.. what did education do for us? If it can't help us defend our country and our people I don't want its use is.... Read this... I think we all ought to know what is happening in our country: A United Nations' report released this week says nuclear and hazardous wastes dumped on Somalia's shores had been scattered by the recent Asian tsunami and are now infecting Somalis in coastal areas. A spokesman for the United Nations Environment Program (UNEP), Nick Nuttall, told VOA that for the past 15 years or so, European companies and others have used Somalia as a dumping ground for a wide array of nuclear and hazardous wastes. "There's uranium radioactive waste, there's leads, there's heavy metals like cadmium and mercury, there's industrial wastes, and there's hospital wastes, chemical wastes, you name it,†he said. “It's not rocket science to know why they're doing it because of the instability there." Mr. Nuttall said, on average, it cost European companies $2.50 per ton to dump the wastes on Somalia's beaches rather than $250 a ton to dispose of the wastes in Europe. He said the Asian tsunami dislodged and smashed open the drums, barrels, and other containers, spreading the contaminants as far away as 10 or more kilometers inland. Mr. Nuttall said it is impossible to know the exact tonnage or number of containers of wastes on Somalia's shores, but that the problem, in his words, "is very serious." The results of the contamination on coastal populations, Mr. Nuttall says, have been disastrous. "These problems range from acute respiratory infections to dry, heavy coughing, mouth bleedings, abdominal hemorrhages, what they described as unusual skin chemical reactions,†he noted. “So there's a whole variety of ailments that people are reporting from these villages where we had a chance to look. We need to go much further and farther in finding out the real scale of this problem." The tsunami's effects on Somalia were detailed in a report the United Nations Environment Program released this week at its governing council meeting in the Kenyan capital Nairobi. The report described the effects of the late-December tsunami, which killed up to 300,000 people in 11 countries. It says the massive waves dislodged hazardous materials in countries throughout the region and recommended that governments preserve natural resources and restrict or ban development in vulnerable areas. According to the report, hazardous wastes in Somalia have also contaminated some groundwater areas there. The dumping of hazardous and nuclear wastes onto Somalia's coastline is a long-running concern. In a media report last year, Somali fisherman said they saw foreign vessels dropping containers onto the beach and pollution into the waters. Somali officials said the country was vulnerable to illegal dumping, as Africa's longest coastline is not patrolled and the country has no coast guards, or health officials and facilities to test whatever is inside the containers. Until late last year, Somalia had been without an effective central government since 1991, when then-leader Siad Barre was ousted. The new transitional government is in the process of moving to the capital Mogadishu from its current base in Kenya

OG: its always a pleasure to see you hon. . and thnx girly... i have been around but just as a ghost....anyways... I agree with wat u said, that its called past coz we can't change it..but its as present as present itself... Dawaco: Could be sis that the paranoia is there because they have committed some kind of a crime or nabsi and they just wanna make sure that they don't pay for the price thru u.. do u think that is another possibility? Ay Kutubeey: Narrating one's past relationship doesn't say much about that person or how they r, rather as the dating goes the person will paint a saintly image of himself while making his partner a monster, if he is a nice guy then the most he will say is, it dind't work coz we couldn't understand each other.. now tell me how much does that tell u about the person... if u ask me i think the whole questionaires on the past is nothing but interrogations and curiosity or maybe they ain't got nothing better to say so... I wanna know why the guys do it? So boys answer me

I have been thinking, well you see everytime we meet someone we like and we hope to forget out past, the questions of when was the last time u been on a date? How long did it last? why did you break up? questions about the past never seem to end, and evertytime we think we have closed that chapter it seems to be reopened again by the next person...so am Thinking why we call it our past when its pretty much our present & future? Do we even have a past?

Check Tum msn mein kioun nahin ateho? kitne intizaar kiya yaar ajaona ....dilke baato karnahi baregah

^^^^ laughing real hard.... if such a thing as being jealous of a fictious character than my two sisters are guilty as charged.....still laughing...SO am I! Bob do u by any chance have Faarax but just in an older version.....I am in love with him I guess .....Still laughing. Oh God I can't stop.....looooooool......I seriously have tears in my eyes..........still laughing....Oh God.....istaaqfurulaah....Plz continue...

Ay Kutubeey, Abaay I think there are only two solutions... 1. u tell the roommate about the situation changing coz of ur relative being close and the rep thingy. and if she accepts gr8 she is a gr8 roommate.....however if she is not so gr8 option # 2 Move in with the relative.....ans safe ur rep by being a good girl.....simple'

Shyhem: About me, well its true i have a signiture that says wat it says, but don't you think as a Somali man you have your roles, which says, quote " Naag waa caruur kabo weyn, Nac nac ku sasab" unquote. Now why are you so threatened by my signature rather let me put it this way, what happened to the men who used to challenge the women's ways when it didn't fit their liking? Are u telling me that they are extinct with the rest of the culture? And about not telling your wife of your intentions to marry another, well you are just breaking the law of marriage, and you will be held accountable in the day of JUSTICE. Xiin: When u r able to handle all the wants and the needs of your woman I am sure she will let you fly and hit other places...so monopolize her in bed, as well as in the house... she will be so tired of you that she will let you go without a fight. Just a tip....and ofcourse if u come across one like me, I am sure u r in for a long battle. Hayam: I agree, and I used to be part of a Somali student organization called MSSU which used to arrange fund raising events so that we could better the lives of somali students back home and could create an environment that is conducive for studies. But nonetheless their mentality and the way they look at life is quite another story... maybe u should try it.. talk to them about how they see our culture and actually just wat is somali culture? and see their responses.. Che: Why do we have to assimilate bro so much that would make us loose our culture. I mean adapting to the environment you livein is the smart way to survive in any country, but why can't we retain our cultural values while still repecting those of our hosts?

Abdinuur my dear brotha long time.. well let me tell u..if u see a brotha like that send him my way... but make sure he lists the kind of wrong turns he is anticipating in taking after marriage he

Salaam my friends, I have been thinking really alot about the question of whether we have our own identity, culture, tradition etc. You see since we have been scattered around the globe by a war most of us didn't choose, nonetheless we have learned alot from the exposure to the outside world. But then we have lost ourselves on the way to achieving our immediate goals. Look at us! where ever we go we dress and act like the natives of that particular country sometimes we even go beyond them. Look at Somalis that reside in the Arab world; They wear Ibaya, talk worst than arabs, the youngsters are obsessed with their opposite sexes and women remain indoors. I mean don't get me wrong, covering one's body is a sign of being a Muslim but why do it to resemble the locals rather than for fear of Allah? Look at us in the West; Girls wear mini skirts shorter than the ones hookers wear, boys hooked on weed and baggy pants, walking sideways like a chained maniac whose lost balance; Mothers referring the use of English or the native language over the Somali given that she is having trouble comprehending and understanding her own kids; Fathers sitting at coffee shops waiting for the taxpayers to feed their children, talking of nothing but BS. In Africa, Our society men and women are ruined and have nothing better to do than chew Qaad and be in phone boots calling west for money. Its scenerios like these that raise the question of whether we have a culture/identity of our own or are we taking the proverb " When in Rome do what the Romans do" a bit too far?

Che: INshallah Spring break hum mein aur meri dost sooch rahe hain ke hum karachi ko dekle... jab waqt hoga na to zaruur batayege... Pakis have nice ppl but sorry to say this almost 80% are ignorant... so i am keeping a safe distance although i have made pretty nice friends... CheckMate: Mera darawaza tumhare liye hamesha kola raka huwa hai.Intizar to sirf tumhare knockse hai....tho achana... Maajo: Thanks bro but I think I have had enough of Somali Lahoris... I am thru wid them.. now that I have them off my tail I don't want to revive the storm.. it passed me now...and i promise u, as long as I am here no Somali sister will ever go thru wat I went thru in lahore for I shall forearm her like nobody's business....

Sory my brothers and sisters, I have been busy with school , and had my mom visit me so I was kind of busy with dat. Now that I am free a got time to chill with my homies in my cyber home.. here I am... I am sure u guys missed me as much as I missed ya.. anyways here is wat has happened since last time I have been with you... I am sure those who read the my story would wanna know the continuation of the dilemma....... The Updates Hibo has adopted to the environment and learnt ways to cope with the ever irritating stares, snatching of purses, bandanas etc by the locals. Nonetheless her somali peers seem to be letting her be lately since they couldn't get anywhere with their gossip and Hibo brought on her Ghetto-ism into the play. Although their comment after seeing Hibo and the girls in a party was that, they were the go-gos for the Pakistanis that were there...and that they r wat they call "Doo number" in other words "Cheap n clean"...Hibo laughed at the remarks..............and did wat she always does............" ahahahahahahahahaha" I am good now, they have left me alone.. and I am once more happy and content for now.. although most people tell me that by the time I am thru with Pakistan, I would love it so much that I won't wanna leave, but I think that is unlikely...Nonetheless.............I am on my way to winning my BET.... At the end of the sisters...........WE RULE...... " Never let anyone astray you from your goal regardless of what they have to say or do".. This is the conclusion of my pakistan saga...

X-quizit: Much of what i wanted to say, has been said by Gediid, May God bless him and us. However sis/bro, Somali women are to blame majoritywise. Let me tell u something a very close friend of mine told me..He is married now and he is the sole breadwinner of the family. He has a daughter and with them lives his sister-in-law. He told me, You can never believe it but my salary which was not enough for me when I was single is more than enough for my family. Sister/brother Allah blesses whatever u have so that it satisfies you. He will bless u with something called " Iimaan" if you are in a marriage that is faithful and pure. Yes it is true u will not have decent life on a single salary in the west but u actually can if u know how to manage ur account and time. I have seen many that did it, why not you? And mind you, a somali man is too proud to beg someone else if he can help it. Majority of the men we see today are complaining that his wife wants to get welfare so she suggests that they fabricate a lie about them being separate just to earn an extra cash on the side for her Dirac. And this in turn opens a slit for Sheydan to do his work much smoother, coz the woman sees this as an ability to be independent of her husband. And when that feeling comes into play sorry to say, most Somali women think that they can stand against their husbands and challenge them because they are standing on a leveled ground. But then when the challenges get too much for the man to handle, exit is the only option he is left with. Ofcourse there are men who are useless and are looser but that doesn't necessarily define somali men, coz their number is too small compared to the rest. Single Motherhood is not an easy job, and I don't think any woman should run to it, rather she should do all that is in her power to prevent it from happening. And like I said, Its a curse. As for staying in the marriage b/c of the family......well nowadas u find couples divorcing each other because of a TV remote.. believe me I saw it... so sis/bro don't u think they need someone to read some sense into them?

Ameenah, since u have asked us to keep our lips sealed, I will, but I loved Alchemist...........its the BOMB.........read it girl..and its not that long either... so squeeze it in.. wanna see wat the other nomads go to say..

Horta Nafta Salaam sis... it is true that somali women are faced with this pedicament more often lately than previously. And in my opinion I believe couple of things lead to the change in the divorce rate in the Somali generations of the 20th century. They are Firstly Somalis have moved to the west far away from any elder that was there at the time of their marriage or a parent. So when there is a problem, mostly in our parents time, their parents or elders used to intervine and do what u call " Canaan"... to the girl, " Naa reerkaada dhaqo waad edebdaran tahaye".. to the man.. " war ninweyn ayaad tahay ma naag baad la tirsaneysaa, war orodoo caruurtaada korso". U c in this manner their problems used to be solved, and they stayed together regardless of wat. But now the situation has changed. There are no elders to interfere, or if they are there, then they are given the cold shoulder and not taken their advice is not respected, and their canaan becomes " wax la dhibsado".. and that is really sad. Secondly, its Somali women to blame mostly because they took over the man's role in the family. A somali woman got the misconception of independence. They believe that if they let their husbands sit on the back bench and they lead, life in the west would be much easier. Which is wrong at their parts, coz a man is a man regardless of where he is. And a woman should let her husband do his duty and not take over his role. Sorry to say this sisters but its the truth. Why should the woman, take her kids to school or hospital when her husband is around? Allah has already defined a woman's role and I believe she should take care of the duties in the house. And only when the need arises should she work. Its the man's responsibility to feed his family so why not give him the chance to do that? And thirdly ofcourse there are men who are useless and would be a crime to even label them as "nin" who don't even know what their kids had for lunch. Although I believe the number is too minute to be mentioned. I guess that is my take on the situation. As far as How do You view single motherhood is concerned, I think its a misfortunate phase to be lived by any woman, coz Allah made them each for the other so that they can help each other in raising their kids, and if there wasn't a need for any one of them , then He won't have created them. So my sister I think Single Motherhood is something " Laga duceysto" and the mother who is single I would say to her " Ilaaheey ha kuu fududeeyo waa dhibantahaye".

Here I was thinking finally the topic took a turn and I was in for a debate of a intellects only to be wlced by my GT's sheeko............sad sad........ladies is that all u could come up with Hadal with no action..? Comeon lets start a topic.................