I'm not gonna get into the whole religious piece of this, but my advice to you is DON'T MESS UP THE FRIENDSHIP. Trust me you'll live to regret it. Good friendship doesn't also mean good possible relationship, they are two separate, distinct types of relationships----one wouldn't mirror the other.

Not every man is the type of man that will pay for everything. On the first date you should always bring money as a backup until you know what his style is. Secondly, sometimes you can't expect for a man to pay for everything. I say this because I am a college student, and if I date a college student, this guy is gonna be as broke as I am!! It depends on the circumstances so maybe you should be a little more open minded bout that. Besides when you pay for your own stuff sometimes it makes you look independant which is a good impression to give when you first meet someone. I always bring my own money and a seperate car on the first date because you never know----maybe you should try that next time you meet somebody cuz not every Somali guy is gonna give you the assumed respect you think you should recieve because you are a Somali girl. Your story does not surprise me at all. If you don't know who you dealing with that is a realistic possibility--------IT HASN'T HAPPENED TO ME THOUGH!! Let me knock on wood now, cuz I hope it never does. But you must always set yourself up so its not possible by having a backup plan ready on that first date until you get a feeling for what type of guy u dealing wit(your own money and ride).

If this letter is true, it's kinda messed up you would exploit his feelings on this website and ask the public what his fate should be. If you completely don't want the guy, you need to be straight up. Don't ever do somebody wrong when it comes down to matters of the heart, because you will learn this quote the hard way--"WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND." That is complete bull that you are too young to be in a serious relationship. Keep it real sista. If you wanted the guy and you thought the world of him you would have no problem being with him, in fact you would feel lucky to have found him. Why don't you say "I already know I don't want him but I get a kick out it knowing someone wants me and I don't want them----but I just wanna show you guys that I got it like that." Keep it real sista girl.

PPL LETS BE REAL WITH OUR BROTHER---- I associate being shy with being uncomfortable with someone. If she is still shy to a point where she can barely speak to you, she is still not comfortable with you. If she is not comfortable enough with you to speak freely after 6 mths, WHEN THE HECK WOULD SHE EVER BE?!? I act the way your girl is acting right now in the very beginning when I meet someone. My first dates sometimes are awkward, I don't say much, and usually the guy does most of the talking. However, when we have the first long conversation or the "ice-breaker" conversation, I usually become comfortable and can be myself. If the comfortable feeling doesn't come at least after a month or so, I drop that person because I figure I'll probably never become comfortable around that person. Maybe your girl hasn't figured that out yet. Ask yourself this, do you think she is like that around her friends? She can be shy all she wants but I doubt she is like that around people she is comfortable with. You will never truly know who she is if she is not comfortable with you, because the real her comes out then when she is comfortable. Besides, I think if you meet a female who is more talkative, comfortable with you, and can be herself-----you will wanna leave her. Trust me on that. Good luck homeboy, I can't stand dating shy people. Forgive me if I sound pessimistic, I believe in being blunt.

Hibo, its a cute idea abaayo but I don't think that would work. Somali ppl place such a stigma on internet dating that few ppl would be willing to participate I think. To Somali ppl meeting someone on the internet is synonymous with being "desperate". Personally, I have no problem meeting ppl, I meet ppl all the time on the street. I also meet ppl from the net occasionally as well. You can't always find compatibility on the street, so what is the problem with meeting your fellow Somali ppl on the net? Somali ppl get so caught up in unnecessary issues of pride and reputation that they blind themselves from opportunity. Example----when a female really likes a guy but because of her pride acts like she doesn't want him (YALL KNOW YALL FEEL ME ON THAT ONE!!!) In conclusion, Hibo it was a great idea and you ppl calling her desperate or internet dating desperate for that matter need to open your mind up and GET OUT THE BOX U LIVE IN!!

Ole Farah, I respect the fact that you are holding back because of our religion. However, I think it is alright to talk to a female. You can approach a sister and tell her you wanna get to know her. You can mainly talk on the phone, get together in a public place so you can avoid being alone, and be careful not to touch each other. TELL ME WHATS WRONG WIT THAT??? Our religion does not restrict us from meeting ppl. Men and women touching each other (that are not married ofcourse) is a diff story.

You guys know what I think about the "girlfriend/boyfriend" in America compared to back home in Somalia? I didn't grow up in Somalia, laakiin my mother told me how things were much less shameful. My mother told me how her family would say bring the boy home, we will fix up the livingroom and cook some tea for you guys, and you guys can chill in the livingroom and talk. Now how often does openess and shamelessness like that happen here in America? I know I was never able to let my family know I was dating(even up until now), but how different would that be if we were in Somalia???

Do any of you ever feel like you have hit a crossroad where you are done partying and having fun and its no longer appealing, but at the same time you don't necessarily feel like marriage and settling down is the next step? So when "dhalanyaro" life is done, and married life hasn't quite begun, what the heck is supposed to fill the middle? Opinionz plz........!

I really don't mean to be negative, but none of those qualities that you mentioned matter unless you feeling that person like crazy. I mean if you don't get the butterflies in the stomach, that excitement of seeing them, and that feeling that nothing and no one else matters---it won't feel real no matter what, and you would probably end up leaving whoever this person is and hurting them when the person that do give you those feelings that I mentioned above even if his qualities are not as good as the one you speak of now. Trust me, I been there.

Turn offs, the list is long but these are the main ones that I come across too much and would explain my availabity:~~~~ a.) A guy that drinks---do yo thang and all but there is a limit, and alcohol is a big one b.) A guy that is a sex-a-holic---I know some girls like to get down, but some don't, and if a guy can't understand that you prefer not to get down and is all over you anyway---homie, you got to go. c.) A guy that push to hard to make things happen--- I believe connections between ppl come naturally, if a guy push to hard it don't seem natural and it makes you wanna turn and run as fast as you can d.) A guy that has no direction in life---c'mon ladies don't nobody wanna deal with a "nobody", a guy gotta have his priorties straight e.) A guy that can't conversate well in person---all of us like to have late night conversations on the phone, but if you can't have just a well of conversation in person, that a major turn off ......and that's only to name a few!

First of all, I'm a sucka for that "LOVE" topic. If I can't find the love of my life, that when I would make a "business" arrangement for my wedding or partner should I say. If it ain't about the love then, then it would have to be for whoever is a convienent person to be married to. Not "anybody", but somebody that will do. And this situation would be when a sister girl biological clock is ticking to an near end. 'Til then I hope and pray that whatever they call "the one" is somewhere in my near destiny. Hey if all else fails too, you know we always got the family to hook us up(arranged marriage)!

Hey ladies, For those of us unlucky sistas that have problems with pimples, what are some of the tricks that you guys use?? Much luv-------

Babygirl, I can relate to you like crazy. I felt goosebumps come over me because as I read your every word, it exactly describes what I went through(kinda still going through) recently. I'm telling you girl, it was not only the looks, the qualities, his heart, his personality; I coulda sworn on everything that this was the one. At first we were friends, but I ended up falling hard for him. He was attracted to me, I was attracted to him, we had chemistry before that friendship I was just talking about and history. But what I couldn't figure out for the life of me was why this person that was so perfect for me didn't want to be with me as bad as I wanted to be with him. He didn't want no relationship, and the minute I confessed my feelings our beautiful friendship and deep-down mental connection ended. This what I learned, and baby it is gonna hit you hard. This world is not as perfect as we would want it to be. Some people through away food, while others in the world go to sleep hungry; Some ppl waste money on ****** shit, while others are homeless; and sometimes the person that we want to love us the most, simply doesn't want to love you back. It hurts like hell, but you just gotta know when to let go. This person I'm talking about I still think about them everyday, still dream about them everynight, but I held on for 2 years, and I simply couldn't hold on no more praying that my turn would come. I suggest you let go before you go in as deep as I did to a point where you can't get back out. Life is too short to go after somebody and love someone that doesn't want to love you back. Realize that the sooner you get past this one, you are one step closer to the one Allah meant for you. My heart goes out to you, and I hope we get through this to a point where we won't think about them anymore. Much love girl---------

wassup homie, I got a lotta love for that place seattle. You gotta open arms over here my man. Safia---------

wassup homie, I got a lotta love for that place seattle. You gotta open arms over here my man. Safia---------

wassup homie, I got a lotta love for that place seattle. You gotta open arms over here my man. Safia---------

wassup homie, I got a lotta love for that place seattle. You gotta open arms over here my man. Safia---------

Baby Girl, I went through that phase, and so does every other Somali adolescent female at one point or another. At first I lied and said I didn't know who the ni99as calling were. It just made momz more angry. But what I learned if you just open and honest about your business that your momz will come to accept that you growing up. I didn't think I could ever tell my momz what was up wit my dating life, but now we open about everything. Its gonna be hard on your momz in the beginning, but really them ni99as calling is just a sign that you growing up, and when she see them calling she gonna recognize the deal. Keep yo head up girl and remember its a phase, it aint alwayz gonna be like this. Get a cell phone or pager too, that alwayz work. Safia

"NAA MUSQUSHA MA KU DHEX DHALAYSAA!?! NAGA SOO BAX!" --everyday quote by momz :mad:

YOU KNOW GIRL, THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED TO HEAR. BLESS YOUR HEART FOR PUTTING SUCH A MUCH NEEDED MESSAGE OUT THERE. MOST PEOPLE JUST DOING THEIR THANG OUT HERE DON'T THINK TWICE ABOUT ALLAH(SWT) OR FORGIVENESS. ITS SCARY SOMETIMES WHEN I GO TO PARTY AND I COME HOME AROUND 3 OR 4 O'CLOCK AND I LIE IN MY BED FEELING HELLA EMPTY AND HELLA LOST. THANX FOR THE REALITY CHECK, ON THE REAL, AND ALLAH FORGIVE US ALL.

T.K., YO I WAS TOTALLY FEELIN' YOUR POEM, I THINK EVERYBODY CAN RELATE TO THAT, EXCEPT THE LAST TWO LINES AT THE END. I THINK THAT SHOULD BE CUT, CUZ YOU THROW THE WHOLE "SEARCHING" THEME OF THE POEM OFF(NO HATING, JUST CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICIZM). BUT SERIOUSLY I WAS LOVING IT. AND BABY BOY, I LIKE WHERE YOU WAS GOING WITH POEM AND ALL, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE A LITTLE BIT LONGER AND HAVE LITTLE MORE DEEPNESS TO IT. CONTINUE THE POEM WHERE IT ENDS. LOVE YALL!! SAFIA*********

T.K., YO I WAS TOTALLY FEELIN' YOUR POEM, I THINK EVERYBODY CAN RELATE TO THAT, EXCEPT THE LAST TWO LINES AT THE END. I THINK THAT SHOULD BE CUT, CUZ YOU THROW THE WHOLE "SEARCHING" THEME OF THE POEM OFF(NO HATING, JUST CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICIZM). BUT SERIOUSLY I WAS LOVING IT. AND BABY BOY, I LIKE WHERE YOU WAS GOING WITH POEM AND ALL, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE A LITTLE BIT LONGER AND HAVE LITTLE MORE DEEPNESS TO IT. CONTINUE THE POEM WHERE IT ENDS. LOVE YALL!! SAFIA*********

T.K., YO I WAS TOTALLY FEELIN' YOUR POEM, I THINK EVERYBODY CAN RELATE TO THAT, EXCEPT THE LAST TWO LINES AT THE END. I THINK THAT SHOULD BE CUT, CUZ YOU THROW THE WHOLE "SEARCHING" THEME OF THE POEM OFF(NO HATING, JUST CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICIZM). BUT SERIOUSLY I WAS LOVING IT. AND BABY BOY, I LIKE WHERE YOU WAS GOING WITH POEM AND ALL, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE A LITTLE BIT LONGER AND HAVE LITTLE MORE DEEPNESS TO IT. CONTINUE THE POEM WHERE IT ENDS. LOVE YALL!! SAFIA*********

T.K., YO I WAS TOTALLY FEELIN' YOUR POEM, I THINK EVERYBODY CAN RELATE TO THAT, EXCEPT THE LAST TWO LINES AT THE END. I THINK THAT SHOULD BE CUT, CUZ YOU THROW THE WHOLE "SEARCHING" THEME OF THE POEM OFF(NO HATING, JUST CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICIZM). BUT SERIOUSLY I WAS LOVING IT. AND BABY BOY, I LIKE WHERE YOU WAS GOING WITH POEM AND ALL, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE A LITTLE BIT LONGER AND HAVE LITTLE MORE DEEPNESS TO IT. CONTINUE THE POEM WHERE IT ENDS. LOVE YALL!! SAFIA*********

LIL ANGEL, IN ORDER FOR SOME ADVICE TO BE GIVEN TO YOU, YOU NEED TO DESCRIBE YOUR SITUATION A LITTLE BIT MORE, CUZ IT TAKES DIFFERENT APPROACHS TO DIFFERENT SCENARIOS. FOR EXAMPLE, IS THIS A GUY YOU GO TO SCHOOL WITH? IS HE A GUY YOU SEE AROUND OCCASIONALLY, DOES HE HAVE YOUR NUMBER, DO YOU GET ANY VIBES FROM HIM WHEN YOU GUYS DO SEE EACH OTHER THAT HE IS FEELING YOU? HAVE YOU GUYS EVER TALKED BEFORE? SUPPLY A LITTLE MORE DETAIL, AND I THINK YOU CAN GET A LITTLE MORE HELPFUL FEEDBACK SIS. SAFIA********