Intuition

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Everything posted by Intuition

  1. Asalaamu'calaykum, man i love dat sisterly love we share with our girlfriends. speaking of which reading ur post made me think of the closes ppl to me. and i definatly need 2 dedicate a lil something 4 the 1 i've known the most rahiima i love u with all my heart, and im sorry if i havent been the best friend i used 2 be, you get so caught up in life it makes u 4get 2 stop and look around at all the people that matter. anyway u know that after 14 yrs u still on the top of my list :-D . i dont know where i'd be with out my girls. ima have to sit down and call every 1 of them and let them know i havent 4got about them. anyway enough mushy mushy stuff, its not my style. sade thanx 4 that, ur a darlz. wasalaam folks
  2. The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,” The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.” Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
  3. Intuition

    Riddles

    Asalaamu'alaykum, Well done prince u took the crown for this 1. Next riddle; #1 At night they come without being fetched, And by day they are lost without being stolen. #2 I build up castles. I tear down mountains. I make some men blind, I help others to see. What am I? #3 I give you a group of three. One is sitting down, and will never get up. The second eats as much as is given to him, yet is always hungry. The third goes away and never returns. wasalaam. P.s. prince i think the answer to your riddle is mother?
  4. Intuition

    Riddles

    Asalaamu'alaykum, looool, your good devil lets all give a round of applus for the devil. loool @ diapers. Next riddle; #1 What goes around the world but stays in a corner? #2 What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps? #3 What goes up, but never comes down? I'll give ya 3 2day coz there easy. wasalaam
  5. loooooooooooool oooh i got ya now. loool, guess u gotta know a lil swahili to get it. lakiin good 1. i heard that one 2 rainbow, still get a good laugh at it, lool. man somali's...u gotta lov'em
  6. salaamz, loooool, nice one Xiddig. i think i got that in my email as well but still get a kick out the last 1. damn that toped the cake...ouch
  7. I don't get it? if i got it i'd laugh. plz explain
  8. Intuition

    Riddles

    Asalaamu'alaykum, We all like to get a good laugh at reading a few jokes, but i was thinking about trying something new, something that will stimilate the mind a lil, and keep us entertained. if you all enjoy it then you can post a few up urself. here's an old favorite of mine. the man who makes it sells it the man who buys it doesnt need it the who needs it cant see it what am i? i'll give you guys a couple of days to sweat it out, lol.
  9. Asalaamu'alaykum, lool, man good one. i feel sooo dumb, lol. when it said read only once i was like concentrating on it so i could get it right the 1st time. damn. but alxamdulilah i got 4, which i guess isnt 2 bad.
  10. CAUCASIAN WOMAN: First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. BLACK WOMAN: First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner. Third Date: You get to pay her rent. Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you! IRISH WOMAN: First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex. ITALIAN WOMAN: First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant. Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs. Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring. 5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex. 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend. JEWISH WOMAN: First Date: You get dynamite head. Second Date: You get more great head. Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again. ARAB WOMAN: First Date: You fill out the mandatory familyquestionnaire listing all your assets. Second Date: You go out to the park with her and her whole family comes along. Third Date: She claims she's a virgin and refuses to have sex with you. Fourth Date: She makes up for the past ten years of sexual deprivation in one night. You're rushed to a hospital for exhaustion. LATIN WOMAN First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on Riunite, have sex in the back of her car. Second Date: She is pregnant. Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and live happily ever after eating rice and beans in the Bronx. POLISH WOMAN: First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. She gave you the wrong address. Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant. She gets lost getting to the restaurant and then again going home. Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if its hers. KOREAN WOMAN: First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens. Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens again. Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen. INDIAN WOMAN: First date: Meet her parents. Second date: Set the date of the wedding. Third date: Wedding night.
  11. Asalaamu'calaykum, i was just checking my email and came across something quite odd. Hello! osman hassan of the email list is inviting you to join this list, hosted at Topica.com. 1stly i dont recall knowing someone with that name, but most importantly i was very suprised to find out we even had a singles.com 4 somali's, interesting...must say i got a good laugh though, obviously its a new site coz when i tried to check it out it seemed quite limited, and it seems the ppl who have registered have no idea what its abuout or who refered them. anyway 2 cut a long story short does any1 here know what the hell its about, and 4 the rest of the public what do u think about the idea of us "somali's" turning 2 the web 4 romance? i still think its a lil weird, i know alot of other communities are getting it 2 it, but comon now Somali's :eek: . plus how on earth would u explain urself 2 ur family if things do work out 4 u? curious to hear ur thoughts on the matter. wasalaam. btw i didnt register, not my cuppa tea. [ February 04, 2004, 08:27 AM: Message edited by: Mursal ]
  12. Check this out: The following scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and London. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. Madam, what is the matter, the hostess Asked You obviously do not see it then? She responded. You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat. Be calm please, the hostess replied. Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available. The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class. Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone sooooo disgusting. She turned to the black guy, and said. Therefore, Sir, if You would like to, please take your hand luggage because a seat awaits you in the first class. At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded. This is a true story which is not usually told. If you are against racism, please send this message to all your friends, please do not delete it without sending it to at least one person.
  13. looooooooooooooooooooool Allah xasiid man. poor guy. i hate chilli, im such a wuss
  14. You know its not the 1st time he's done it, he did the same thing to his daughter when she was a couple of months old as well. He was never normal in the 1st place, i mean who in there right might would want to be in the same space as a croc. But like Rahima said, he really isnt that big at all down here, but crikey the things the world find entertaining these days continues to suprise me. especially the yanks...cheap thrills i think. wasalaam. P.s. Nayaa Rahima, y lie 4 u sound just as bad as stevie does, lol dont lie now.
  15. Asalaamu'alaykum, hmmm...looks like got some of his punishment in this life, imagine the after life. Islam has its xalal and its xaram, with its rewards and punishments. he should have been a little more careful. and to top it off is his name...Abdulahi where are we heading adios folks
  16. An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe, when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.The Australian politely ignored the American who, nevertheless,started up a conversation. The American snapped the gum in his mouth and said,"Do you Australian folk eat the whole bread?" The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "yeah, of course" The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia." The American had a smirk on his face, the Australian listened in silence. The American persisted, "D'ya eat jam with the bread?" Sighing, the Australian replied "yes." Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell it to Australia."The Australian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?" The American smiled and said "yeah, of course we do." The Australian leant closer to him and asked, "what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" "We throw them away of course" replied the American... Now it was the Australian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Australia, we put them in containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to The United States, that's why its called Wrigley's"
  17. Intuition

    A mother

    Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom? "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's O.K."....... Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?". "All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say...... The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?" GOD answered...... "When I made woman, I decided she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, made her arms gentle enough to give comfort... I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come even from her own children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining.... I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly.... She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears.... I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.... I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.... For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed. It is hers to use whenever needed and ! it is her only weakness.... When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
  18. Asalaamyu'alaykum... hmmm...interesting topic. something thats been on my mind also. its true im yet 2 see any sold poor that is is xaram. lakiin i know the main reason ppl are against it is because its not a common practice amoung their generation. im no sheikh so i cant make an opinion on whether its allowed or not, however i can say something and that is if u do decide 2 do it who is going to see it? if r going to start showing off ur navel in public after doing so then hey this is totally haram coz its ur awra. i have a friend (non somali but african) and she got it done b4 she got married and her husband loves it. what im getting at is that if it isnt xaram (which i dont know and allah know's best) u also have to keep in mind who sees it. ima see what i can find out about this insha'allah and get back 2 u all. BWT zakariya lool sup with u and quoting ppl's every word, give the girl a break lol. (just an observation, i got no beef with u k) wasalaam
  19. So sad and so true. America...the land of ********* looooool had a good laugh at the last question tho, looool. nice 1 Nin-Yaaban
  20. Asalaamu'alaykum I've always had a thing for poems, altho im not very good at writing them,i do love reading them. anyway i decided to have a go and came up with a few. im only gonna post 1 so i can see what y'all think of it b4 i make an even bigger fool of me self, lool. do u think i have a future in poetry? Confusion Delusions Life's layers on illusions constantly cuasing confusion the struggle of the day going down the torturous way seeking happiness at a price i cant pay why does life have to be this way? find myself crying each day just to take a step to a positive way but at the end of the day life stills remains the same and however the constant pain life rewards you in strang ways and it all become ok. wasalaam
  21. BAD IDEA! Man Somali's have short tempers, and are pretty violent with out guns. I dont even want to picture them with guns. Yeah you may use it to defent yourselves, lakiin what happends when it back fires. What if you kill someone with out it being self defence? What if a child accidently gets it hands on it. There are a lot of "what if's" for my likings. I think you guyz should all just come and live in Australia where its not normal to even own a gun Alhamdulilah. Or maybe you guys should lobby to have them banned. wasalaam