Whenever you fell like a loser, just remember: YOU were the fastest sperm. Embrace that inner champion.

A quote from Peter Griffin: ''You better watch who you are calling a child Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile Lois, I'll be damned if I stand here and be lectured by a pervert!''

A marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back. So the marine did what any squared-away marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women that he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note: ''I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your pictures and send the rest back.''

A man speaks frantically into the phone, ''My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!'' ''Is this her first child?'', the doctor queries. ''No, you iidiot!'', the man shouts. ''This is her f*cking husband!''

Chimera;710179 wrote: Lol, war that dude got connections! He sure has!

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant. The place was hopping with music and loud conversations and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked: ''May I please use the restroom?'' The bartender replied: ''OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'' ''Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way'', said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said: ''Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me, just because I went to the restroom?'' ''Well, now they know you're one of us'', said the bartender. ''Would you like a drink?'' ''But I still don't understand'', said the puzzled nun. ''You see'', laughed the bartender, ''every time someone lifts the fig leaf, the lights go out.''

They may not be so funny to you, but they were to me: --- A boss' best worker named Colin claims he knows absolutely everyone, trying to convince the boss he should get a raise. So the boss goes: ''Riiight, let's go fly to Hollywood and meet... Tom Cruise!'' Colin: ''Sure, me and Tom are good buddies.'' Later, Colin and his boss are in Hollywood and are knocking on Cruise's door. Upon opening the door, Tom shouts: ''Colin! What a great surprise! Please, you and your friend come in and join me for lunch.'' Upon leaving the house, Colin's boss is dumb-founded, but not 100% convinced. So Colin proceeds to say: ''Fine, let's go to President Obama.'' Later that day, Colin and his boss arrive in D.C. Upon entering the White House, Colin gets eye contact with Obama who exclaims: ''Colin! How great to see you! Please, come have a cup of coffee with your friend and I to catch up. So the boss is now 90% assured that Colin does in fact know everyone. So as one last attempt, the boss challenges Colin to have known the Pope personally. Colin says: ''Why sure, my family and I lived in Germany for a while, and we knew the Pope very well.'' So after landing in Rome, they head for the town the Pope is scheduled to be doing a speech on. After many attempts of trying to make eye contact, Colin says: ''It's no use. I can't make eye contact through all these people. Wait, I'll go up the stairs, as I know the guards well, and come out on the balcony with the Pope.'' Sure enough, the Pope is shortly joined by Colin on the balcony. 5 minutes later, Colin returns to where he was previously standing to find that his boss had a heart attack, and was surrounded by paramedics. Colin asks him what happened, to which the boss replied: ''Well, when you were up there, a guy next to me shouted - Who the F*CK is that next to Colin?!''

Chichi is a female dragonball Z character; the wife of Goku lol. Loooll, I am very aware of that! I used to love DZ. Still do. No offence, on the female part. Chichi is a very cute name. In this age where Men increasingly are resembling women, and women are resembling Men, some old-fashioned feminine cuteness on a lady is very welcoming. True say! I couldn't agree more on this. I personally don't wear trousers (anymore). Skirts and dresses all the way. I however was suggesting a Somali influenced Espana dress. I still maintain my previous stance that such a dress would look amazing on a sister, but unavoidably you will have a few heads turning indeed lol. My only concern is that your idea of espana dresses are a bit on the ''puffy'' side. Mind that, and I would deff consider.

ChiChi, schat, you are not weird in my eyes. I can understand where you're coming from. I do agree with you, we should not be limited when it comes to our abilities. Every individual is unique. That's why ''cute'' can mean something entirely different to someone else! But just one remark: If I have daughters, I'm going to have them wear cute little "Sweet lolita" dresses, since from my point of view they are fully-fledged princesses in every sense of the word lol. Do you think you're idea of dresses in Lolita style is age limited? It might look cute and adorable on little girls, but I simply can't imagine me walking around the streets dressed like a Lolita character. lol.

looll @ Juxa ^^

Tell him Wyre walaal. ^^ @ A ina J: First of all, I am not your hunno. Second, firso waxaad firsa kartid, it's not my eyes, filled with xaaram, who will turn to me on the day of judgement. Ilaahey ha ku soo hanuuniyo walaalkiis.

With BB Ping you need Ping numbers. With Whatsapp you simply need one's phone number in your mobile ^^ (less complicated I say)

looll, JB give me some credit dee.

I simply refuse to get into the BB hype.

@ A ina J: I've noticed you are very two-faced.

I feel very happy today ^^ The luck is on my side for ones, alxamdulilaah.

Het was mijn bedoeling niet to categorise anyone in a certain box. I'm just simply saying that your idea might be an ideal to you, not necessarily something one (not specifically me) would consider easily? P.s. Ik vind je idee wel leuk, would consider it, maar zou er zelf nooit op gekomen zijn lol.

@ Chi: The lolita subculture in Japan is all about being a ''princess'' in modern day society, wanting to rebel against the expected appearances in society I do really like the cuteness factor that it gives, and the childlike innocence and purity that shows off, but... Do you really think that fashion like that would interest Somali girls?

Yes JB, isku xishoow.

none of your contacts have whatsapp? force them to install it dee, that's what i did lol

Do you guys also make your own desserts, or straight from the store? ^^

JB, walaal, don't blame it on Britain Waa adiga xitaa, for looking. Lower your gaze and stay astaqfurullah

I like wolves ^^ http://www.annestokes.com/horror/full/death%20trap.jpg http://crisortega.com/ilustraciones/image066.jpg "I lost myself in the shadows, I'm lost again in the dark. I didn't notice it at least, I didn't avoid it at last. I can't see between the darkness that surround me when I walk. I don't know if that's my face or the one I want to display. How many times others said me how I must talk or must act. So many times they said me when to love, to laugh or to cry. And I do not know, I'm not sure, if that's my reflection or not. Today my mask is so strong that I can't remove it from me." See the difference in the first and second image, I like them both ^^

Chi, to be honest, ik heb niet zoveel verstand van art. But I really love fantasy, so these are the ones I like: Jason Chan Anne Stokes Cris Ortega Steve Argyle My favourites are definitely art works from Cris Ortega & Jason Chan Cheers!

Insha'allah, hope we will both succeed