In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to *********, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," (And that would be how???) On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (Printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...) On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nyquil Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And, I'm taking this because???) On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to ... what?) On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious) On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh, fly Delta?) On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or other limbs." (Oh my, was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Drunk Three men were drunk. They stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured that they were drunk. He just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, ''we've arrived.'' The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would realize that the car didn't move an inch. So he asked: "what was that for?", he replied: "Control your speed next time, you almost killed us!!"

Smart Lady A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle, and extends it back to the woman. Politely, the woman refuses to accept the bottle. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

Haha Aaliyyah, I'm always devastated, when other people drive.

Alpha Blondy;716712 wrote: One way to get up early in the morning is to use light-coloured curtains or blinds. I have those. Sucks. Want to get rid of them.

^looooll

most girls dnt like to be put on the spot with all these ladies throwing shaash on them..but I am glad u think it is fun ..insha'Allah your shaash saar party will turn out great. Hope for u all the best .. Thanks walaalo macaan. It's probably really different when you're actually sitting there rather then watching. I actually do not like to be put on the spot, but it's not really something you do regularly, so might as well enjoy it! lol As for me as u can see frm my posts I hardly know the difference btw xeedho or shaash saar...lol.. I didn't even know what xeedho was. Learnt something new here!

Seriously, are we dissing each other here? I just hope we will live in peace next to each other one day. Insha allah!

I only know the southern version, which is why ''xeedho'' wasn't ringing any bells lol. I love the shaash saar, it's my favourite part! Can't wait for my own. ^^

Seriously, who cares about two gaal is guursanaayo. Are they the first to marry? No. The last? No. Wow, they're ROYAL. A ROYAL wedding. He's lucky I know his name. And that's as far as it goes.

nuune;714862 wrote: Any research on married men to Jinni girls, cuz I know quite many people who got hitched to Qalanjooyin Jinni ah, and they never change and live longer, I should have accepted that proposal from that Jinni who abducted me from Istanbul, that wedding would have happened any Wednesday of this year, bal yeysan akhrisann this post, tabar uma hayo naag Jinni ah iney i garaacdo Nuune, you are very, very strange. I like that. Say hi to your jinni friends for me.

Having said that, I am happy that Somalis are making it big in the international scene, however my only concern is: why are none of the girls wearing hijab??? I'd personally like to see more Somali sisters make it big without compromising their beliefs. Right now, it seems that the message that's coming through is: "you can make it hadaad qamaar la'aan tahay". Obviously, that's unacceptable. We are in dire need of more wonderful, successful & accomplished hijabi sisters! Many people think girls wear hijabs because they are afraid of their families... Well, I think many girls are afraid to wear the hijab because they are afraid of what Western others think and would rather just fit in, but... why would you want to fit in when you were born to stand out? I absolutely agree with you on this.

I love this guy. Waa runtiis walahi.

uhuh

loooll, nice rhyming, how long did you work on that?

This new crop of SOLers - excluding Ms Moons & Vans - are a real disappointment in my opinion. ^Dankjewel!

wyre;714150 wrote: :D:D Waaban cabsade Wyre, wax laga cabsado waaye. Seriously there's something wrong with here.

looooooll, I couldn't breathe for a while because I was laughing so hard, what's up with the screams in between, it freaked me out

Looll, never knew there was a fb group of SOL. P.s. don't quit on SOL Aaliyyah. I do quite enjoy your witty and wise comments.

That's sounds quite simple. I'm gonna definitely try it out! Thanks ukhti.

A Jehovah's witness knocks on a man's door. The man answers and says please come in, they sit down and the man asks, "So what do you want to talk about", and the jehovas witness answers "I don't know, I've never got this far before."

A woman was frying eggs for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

You are on the bus and you really need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. A couple of songs later you start to feel better. As you leave the bus, people are really giving you the evil eye, and that's when you remember ... You've been listening to your iPod!

My absolute favourite laugh A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. “Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked. “They’re mating,” her father replied. “What do you call the spider on top?” she asked. “That’s a Daddy Longlegs,” her father answered. “So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?” the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he replied “No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs. The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, “Well, we’re not having any of that faggot shit in our garden.”

In a trial in a small southern town, the prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams, I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly you've been a big dissapointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot gut you haven't got the brains to realize you will be anything more than a two-bit paper pushed. Yes I know you." The lawyer was stunned. He pointed across the room and asked, "Do you know the defense attorney?" "Why yes I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster as well, he's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't have a normal relationship with anybody, his law practice is the worst in the state, not to mention he cheated on his wife with three women, one of which was your wife. Yes I know him." The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a quiet voice said, "If either of you ****** asks her if she knows me, I'll send both of you the electric chair."