lol wow, Ngonge has a funny bone. Buuxo somali people don't like to appear to like or be fond of anyone, even their spouse. They are too scared everyone is going to tease them!

^^I think they are really good considering i took them, while inside a moving car, which was far off.

^^ :rolleyes: Puujaa, Why do you even try and help this farah, it is a waste, deega maaleh.

Lol. Go girls. FB must be piss*ed off now, he was expecting fight.

Hargisa

Jac here are my VIB pictures and few others. I just got around to loading them (that means i finally figured out how to use my camera.) ^^thats the dude that runs the airport, he came to say hello, and i was to scared to take a picture till he got to the otherside of the fence, lol And last but not least, the only good looking guy i saw, since it is a stolen picture, he is a bit far

^^^What Xalimos (16-19) do you know with parents rich enough to support her, while she sits at home, or spends their money? point them out please, so I can give them a kick up the as*s. And what Xalimo do you know (20-25) who depends on some Farah...... (same as above) Hang on are you saying what I think you ARE? maybe he forgot the countless ones who support themseleves, their farah, her family and his :mad: Now go and find a better opinion please.!

AAliyah I love your world dear As pointed out by Lily Somali do indeed practice a form of arranged marriage, which is more common than I thought. ninkan wuxu ka dhashay reer wacan oo wuu shaqeestay oo wa dheeryahay oo wa qurxoonyahay lol Lily; lool @ give me the habaar anyday. Zenobia: lool Hooyo wanted you to stay and do the dishes or something dee. lol at A-Z list of requirements, lets just say that scared everyone in your family to even try to look.

:rolleyes: I mean really..

^^No, I have not taken Islamic studies at university level. I took it and I'm still taking it at a life level, (which in your humble view may not be good enough or marshallah) But it has worked and hopefully will work for me. I would not judge how Islamic people are by reading thei rants on a public forum, for all we know, rudy may fast every other day, and JB may be a Muslim. Some people just like confusing people. As for the alcoholic, I hope he does and some do, and for all you know he may one day be a better Muslim than you. Action does speak louder than words, but that does not mean words are not needed either.

hmmm, lol. I like Buuxo list better.

Ngonge, I never imagined you to be the kind to kick while they are down. :rolleyes:

Ngonge, I never imagined you to be the kind to kick while they are down. :rolleyes:

Kat Williams here and here

^^^Lol^ Puujaa: I think this issue is somewhat confusing, when does arranging become forcing: does harassment, emotional blackmail and pressure count as forced?. I always thought that forced is when someone comes and says "you better marry him or else.." without any other alternatives. But I have changed my mind recently, most so called arranged marriages, are dressed up forced marriages!. Although arranged marriage is not a common thing in the Somali community (where you sit in room with your whole family and some poor fella who was dragged there kicking and screaming and his dad) but we do have something which is of similar dressing, which is almost as bad. It is all well and good for you dad or mum (how uncomfortable and embarrassing is that) to point someone out or make suggestions, but where does their role end,.. when you say: okay I can see him mum, or when you speak with him, or are they like you side kick until the wedding?. I doubt anyone will trust their parents to pick someone, and they will happily turn up on the wedding day fully confident that the stranger picked out by so many wise eyes will be just what they would've picked.

^^^I don't understand, in which case he does not need to be qualified, he just needs to learn how to read. I just don't understand why it is so controlled, and after all that qualifying and education his role is to read e-mails. I wonder do they prepare his other talks and all his dua too, perhaps they give him a book of guidelines of which hadith and verses he can use. If anyone in London watched that documentary "undercover Mosques" you will already know that many things which we as Muslims hear and say are supposedly illegal, and some imams were arrested for it. Lily i was thinking that, the other day, and Islam is the one which is affected the most as it is a complete way of life. Nef: I did and still study Islamic studies, it is a continuous never ending process. But i have also studied other subjects. Islam is not cave religion, it does allow you to function in life and inspire to perfection, so i do not think your point is Valid. In fact it is our duty to seek and learn, both world and the deen. This argument is an old argument which sects such as the Sufi's have used to passive large number of people into doing nothing but rituals. As for my use of "every" okay how about "most" then, even the homeless alcoholic will tell you that one day inshallah i will be a good Muslim. p.s. no offence taken

^^Say Inshallah, I will even say Amiin.

^^^who are you to judge dear, just saying Maashaallah will do. Rudy, I see sometimes you are blessed enough to make sense.

Nef: Explain why you disagree? special as you agree with the last comment, if something is perfect, flawless, and makes absolute sense it is only natural to try and keep it at the state, hence the desire to perfect is something that a Muslim who believes this will inspire to nooh? How then is it a bunch or pretty words? Dashid and North, that is a failure and not something you should accept. The Imam should be qualified, and have reached a certain level in order to be an Imam, an institution should then not be dictating what part of Islam he can preach, for Political reasons. That is political correctness gone mad.

painting, demolishing walls and gardening, slave labour!lol Baashi, I'm sure he will perform under pressure and go for the kill, but avoidance is good, and has worked for many years. p.s. I will ignore the sexist expectation this time Baashi, but haa uu nooqanin

^^^lool^ @you have not seen snakes yet, have you been Miyi, I was so scared i was going to run into to one, but alhumdulilah i did not!. Ngonge if you got paid to go, would you? North: how is it going.? It is about time you did some work! You did not expect all play and no work now did u?! p.s. Caano geel is nasty, fresh, daana and mixed with water!! :rolleyes:

^^^My thoughts exactly. I could think of so many examples. I assure you that Imam is not going to be making dua for Bush and Blair, or praying for their victory. For example you only go to the mosque on Friday's, no other time, by the time you have heard the introduction (opening speech dua) which every imam uses, you have already arrived at a contradiction. If some federal government was to pick your imams or educate them, they are essentially censoring what you can and cannot believe or rather hear and editing out large junks. Islam is not picking and choosing what fits with your life style, it is a way of life, follow it to the best of your ability or leave it. Nef. I think every Muslim inspires to follow the beloved prophet's (PBUH) example to the fullest (well they should anyway), otherwise why would i bother myself with half hearted attempts in practising? A Muslim spends their whole life trying to better themselves and reach higher stage. One should not be afraid of consequence or be apologetic about their believes simply to please others

^^^Lol^^ Jac, is it true u won't vote for the old man for clannish reasons :eek: Habar v Habar is something that is on slow burn on the low, it is part of the somali culture, Even within the habar, it is reer heeble v Reer heebel, not to mention the mini reer heebles who are also competing. :rolleyes: Maybe in about 100yrs or so, people will get over it, along with clannish mind sets. Hadrawwi is a blessed old man, May he have a long life.

Try to put yourself in my position, see the world for once through the shade upon my eyes, the lens by which I use to focus on the world! Now feel the way I felt when I was pushed into the most uncomfortable position I had ever come across; to choose between the advices of some of the most influential people in my life, and that of people whom truly cared for my interests. Imagine being torn apart; dividing your love, your once sole commitment; you’re so called loyalty, where do at that point in life, where do you turn? Who can you look towards for an unbiased opinion?’ Yes Allah (SWT) has given us a clear sign that we were all created with the intention to marry one day, but the process of finding this ‘mate’ is an extensive hassle for some. As R. Maqsood in her book, describes marriage as not a mystical element of matches ‘made in heaven’, or a contact which can only end with ‘death do us apart’ but more of a “social contract which brings rights and obligations to ordinary men and women, and which can only be successful when these are mutually respected and cherished’’ (Maqsood, p 191) The atmosphere is tense. The whole house knows what is taking place, it is time. The time to look upon ‘potential’ partners, faced with what seems to be the most extreme communication problem that has ever occurred (a long time after you started babbling as an infant, then saying random words, and before you knew it, you were talking). You sit there, in the ‘family room’ aptly named, as that is where you all come together for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and to watch some bogus channel that only your parents really have an interest in. Your whole outlook on ‘who to trust’ is being severely tested as you look around the room, your mother, your father, your uncle (or maybe two, if you have the whole extended family) your big brother, the little brother, your sisters, your nieces, nephews, and even your pet cat, not to mention the fish swimming blissfully free in the tank, although they’re not really free (you think to yourself) because they’re in a tank! You hear your father tell you of how the potential partner is so nice (nice can mean many things right?), he or she is so lovely that you couldn’t ask for more (almost like your being spoilt but told about it first so that you start to appreciate it, before you even have it). You think to yourself (which you seem to do a lot these days) yikes this is (like) harder than any academic test I ever had to be prepared for during my adolescent years, which in the end after that much preparation I didn’t really care about, but this, it’s real, this will affect the rest of my life on this Dunya (shock and horror is seen on your face at the seriousness of what is going on)! Surrounded by many voices, all of which seem to be pumping their own affairs, how can one draw up any conclusion?! The fear is that the negative thoughts of what you hear about what happens to others (ahem, could happen to you?!), in what seems to be ironically the similar situation your finding yourself in, where the ‘potential’ is from ‘back home’ your from here, born and bred in fact, totally immersed into the society, your culture, the way you talk, walk, dress even what you watch on telly, okay, so you’ve established your from here (as in the UK,) a British Citizen I might add (which is significant). They (now ‘they’ can mean anyone, from the eldest of elders of elders to the most newly acquainted fools you happen to come across) tell you, yes, they tell you, not ask you, there’s a huge difference there! Its like you wake up one day, and they have the rest of your life planned out for you, all you need to do, is keep silent and go with the flow, as they say (although the flow is in a different direction, to what your used to). Finally logic kicks in, your craving for what is right and wrong, and the fact that you’re a Muslim seems to give you more confidence. You question yourself, is this really what I want to do? Is this really what I truly see my future as? Or is this just the pressure of emotional, blood ties pulling at the sentimental strings of the heart, which you feel obliged to satisfy by saying YES?! Although marriage is encouraged to take place at a young age, as H. Khattab has said “there are certain guidelines laid down in Islam, to help things run smoothly: first the way to find a partner, then the rights and duties of both husband and wife” (Khattab, p38). Like any process in life there is a distinctive way in which to carry out obligations. One should not feel at all pressurised by those around him or her. This is not practised as much as it is preached. Once again you tend to fall into asking yourself questions (the life questions), which you can actually answer yourself. For instance, for whom and what purpose am I living? First and foremost it is for my creator, I am here to serve my Lord. Therefore in terms of religious logic, yes parents have a religious duty to find a suitable partner for their beloved children. But not culturally dictate and use ‘arranged’ as a pretence for the whole world to show them that yes, I have given my child the ‘freedom of choice’, and look at how good they are, they have chosen the exact same choice which I put forward to them (well done and a pat on the back, maybe even a nod of approval if your lucky, you really know how to please your parental choice). How much of an outcry can you do, when your parents are willing to leave you with any convenient ‘match’? When you feel that you will be marrying a stranger? The context of marriage is so misused, they take advantage of the situation you’re in and abuse the dilemma you face, bitter and distraught you now turn away, walking from the family room, to what seems to be the least crowded place in the house, the bathroom. These ‘parts’ of your life are supposed to be happy memories, once you look back at them, however, you question whether you will ever see yourself smiling at this situation in say ten years time?! Some times its just the one parent (usually male, goes by the name of dad, father, pops or whatever you want to call the big man, head of household these days). Who even sees it fit for you to marry the potential (having double standards such as) you see, from back home its okay, if the potentials are uneducated (unlike you and your degree), have no steady income (unlike you and your nine to five job) hardly speak a word of English (unlike the way you use English, it may as well be your ‘mother tongue’) and that they can hardly differentiate their religious etiquettes from their cultural upbringing (which you separated a long time back when you realised that being Muslim isn’t just following a religion, it is a way of life). However if the same potential was from say the UK, then enquiries would be made into how much they earn, where they live, how educated they are, their religious contribution and the list goes on, until the whole interrogation takes it toll, and you feel so fed up that you wished you had never mentioned the potential individual, even though a thorough search is best. You begin to think of your mother, (you know the one who carried you for nine months, if not less, she is your mummy) the woman who took care of your every need, she was there with you as an infant, she cared for you then, as she does for you now. Elders in any household usually have the most impact on those around them, everyone assumes they know better (probably due to the length of time they have spent gathering experience, imagine their CV). Once again you find yourself being pulled in different directions; has the proposal come too early in your career ladder? Is the fact that the emotional pressure upon you to advance towards the proposal of marriage, too hasty? The lack of power to make your own mind up steers you towards blaming someone, or something, as we all live in a ‘blame culture’ society, whereby we justify our actions by placing the blame upon another individual or situation. You blame yourself; maybe you did something in your life that has led to these circumstances you’re faced with today. But rather you should turn towards faith, your religion, which has always helped you through your trails, exercise patience, have a belief in Allah (SWT), for only Allah (SWT) can guide whom He wills, leave your affairs in His hands. You could argue that it is worse for the females, in this crude situation (imagine if you were a lady, if you’re a woman and your reading this, then it wont be too hard). On one hand you have the family’s respect within the household to uphold, your decision will have a rippling effect upon the whole community it seems. On the other hand, you hear this little voice inside you say, you don’t know the guy, nor do your parents really, and the fact that he’s from back home means you will be doing the majority of leg work to insure that your both fed, clothed, and have an adequate roof over your heads, hmm, sounds like a bit of a role reversal here, I’m sure back in the day, that would be the male counterparts job, but then who is the ‘female’ to argue with on this? Islam forbids parents to force their children into marriage with someone they don’t like. Aisha (RA) recorded that she asked the Prophet (PBUH) about marriages of young girls whose guardians arranged matches for them and whether or not it was necessary to consult the girl involved or not. He said ‘yes she must be consulted’ (Muslim). Islam gave women the right to reject spouses they did not want. Any Muslim parents who forces or trick their offspring into marriages they do not want are committing Haram. Moreover if either spouse is tricked or forced, that marriage is invalid in Shari’ah Law, and must be declared null and void in Western Law (Maqsood, 2006). Marriage is supposed to be a joint effort it is something which takes time and both partners to make it succeed. The short fall comes when one is not willing to make things work, whilst the other is trying their up most to find harmony. Marriage is an Islamic duty, fulfilment of half of ones Deen. To parents, no disrespect intended here, but one must ask, why then educate your child in the UK, if you want them to have the cultural knowledge of where you were born and brought up. Why then complain of the cultural clash that you receive when their lack of understanding is due to your own need to fit into the British culture and identity. Why use the whole arranged business when you know you just want to sell your cattle on, and feel free of responsibility. Learn to communicate and understand your child whilst they are young, when you know them, then you can easily find their compatible potentials! or just leave them alone! Written by a Sister.

Val, Lol. BB is full of crazy people. lol, why don't they ever pick normal people-although i guess they will lack the shock factor if they did. Nef: Ugly betty is so funny! lol. It has become my lazy sunday show, after friends. Ha hero, thats two shows, I just did not see the point of? lol Hayma lool.