Originally posted by SCORPION_SISTA: Hello Siren, I was expecting a topic in this genre and I was looking forward to really insightful okay maybe even fun seduction tips, instead you have in gone completely in the opposite direction. Maybe there was another hidden intent here, my reasonable self can't see, but oh well seduction is what you called it. What is seduction and what is the purpose of it? To me to seduce someone to be seduced is to have someone to go deliberately entice another person to engage in some sexual activity. I want you to dig back again and bring new items to be useful so that my 70% male side can put to a good use Ps. No means NO only in the situation where this is a rape fantasy, and couple agreed ahead that would be understood in that way. LOL@Rape fantasy- woman still actually have them? I’d be a little disturbed if that old 70’s statistic existed today. As for other real seductive tips? I’ll let you on a little secret *Whispers in her ear*..I have no idea how to seduce anything! In anycase I doubt its of any real significance to men. One need only flash a pert breast and they'll been seduced into carrying out just about anything. Do we need anymore skill than that? As for the seduction of women? I have no idea what pushes their buttons I guess we’re all different, different things turn us ladies on- I couldn’t possible begin to speak for woman-kind seriously as I have no clue *Burps*..I’m rather a cave-woman myself and am pretty simple to seduce- give me a simpering handcuffed man- with nutella spread on his nipples dancing around a sea of silk white scarves singing alonging to Tom Jone's Sex Bomb and I’m sold. What can I say? I’m a barbarian. ..LOL

^-Erhem....er..Parag on that was rather rude- and ibti like wise-neither of you need behave so hostile and cutting towards each other simply because of a few innocent misunderstandings. I have no idea what kind of History SOL demands its people must relive or revive but perhaps things should just be left in the past and you both should behave with a little bit more decorum than you are. Why bicker and be agonistic towards each other? It’s not pleasant for you both and anyone else that has to witness it. I created this topic for a simple laugh, some people got it, some didn’t-it’s perfectly acceptable. Now stop it with the personal jabs and kiss and make up. After all Ramadan is just around the corner and the period for holy-tolerance is upon us. (Forget the kiss- at the very least-give a grudging adult hand shake or speak with a certain level of civility. Come on! Moving on! People...firstly I resent being referred to as “Qoftan”...It’s not courteous especially when you consider its Somali-content a little respect goes a long way and if not that then at least offer a dash of polite civility my brothers and sisters. Jaanjumow- Haye baal ma nagaha SOL baad saxeebahaa uu fataasha? Maaxad ilbax daafteen. *Shakes her head- and whispers in paragons ears- I’ll meet you there LOL* I KID! Seriously taa ku faadhiso bila edab yahow *Fartaa dhexe baa Jaanjumow loo taagtay* Juxa- *Smiles* Bank holiday-gan soo soco ta shaqaan leeyahay walaashay-Haloweenka miiyaad ee gayn karta? Maagic baan raba inna so qaado. Wadaad kani baal sida daadka loo baabo miiyu aqaana? Nin baan raba inuu geed ku xhido. Fufu- Haye I see your getting whipped from both sides eh? *Grins* Perhaps you’d better behave yourself and take back your statements then because a man such me would not consider acting out the fairytale scene. Having said that perhaps if you were to consider role-playing the princess I might be inclined to feel you up beneath your petticoats a little but only with your highnesses permission of course. So what do you say my sweet? Fancy being groped by a real man? *Laughs darkily and whispers*..waarya tread carefully because you cannot win... Ibti- Horta- (wonder if you know)is Ramadan starting on Thursday night therefore making Friday the first fasting day...or is Friday the night the beginning of Ramadan..Saturday being the fast day. If you are aware do clarify. As for getting this topic in BEFORE Ramadan? LOL-Wasn’t even my intention to make it, blame FUFU he gave me the idea for the topic. Plus that other topic about “perfect” characteristic of ones “ideal” partner got my eyes rolling a little so I thought I’d be a man for a week- and give a ironic-wink wink-satirical twist on the extreme types of manly virtues I find rather amusing. Nothing particularly risqué- so why the sad face? I much prefer it when your smiling.

Fufu-LOL-More? If you insist- One last tip then before I depart for the day...Women? I have found enjoy the romantic-almost fairy-like aspects of sexual conquest- so if you ever find yourself in possession of a unicorn and the grand owner of a wonderful castle- then lead your woman up the magical staircase (built by fey-like creatures) and lay her on a bed of soft (no posionous preferably)ivy-befor e making avid love to her infront of a magic mirror-repeating this here statement... Mirror-mirror on the wall whose the fairest shagger of them all....-do this while generously spreading the olive oil and rocket leaves on her persons. If your lady friend isn’t panting with arousal-then I shall eat my hat. Women also enjoy a bit of voyeirism as well-so if you can organise a gaggle of dawarfs to happen upon you and your lady’s love session the better..so long as their grubby-midgety little fingers don't join in the fray it should be fine. Paragon- *grins* such happiness is infectious I see? Wonderful and as usual your musings are greatly soothing to my villainous ego and yours I see? Caress on my dear...caress on.

Don't forget a silk blind fold and a satin tie for tying things... -Your man-organ being one. I hear that the restriction of essential blood vessels to that region make for an intersting sexual climax for the woman.

To hit the G-spot- you will require some duck-tape a rustle of rocket salad and some Herbal Essences shampoo. You will also be in need of streaming waterfull and some olive-oil for massaging.

Fufu-...AHA!-So thats what's got you so sour? You want actual sex tips?...hmm...Are we allowed to divulge such sensitive information? Besides I already gave you an depth list of how to bag yourself a woman. Surely I have been an attentive sex-guru? Must I be pushed some more? ..Besides- don't tell me you don't know how to push a ladies buttons once you've successfully ensnared her? To give you a clue...you stick your man-organ into her vessel- wiggle it about a bit-remove it and then place it back in a couple of times. Then bobs your uncle!...

Paragon- Aww such poetically yearned musing is enough to set the most tightlaced of witchs hearts a blaze with... lust? Nay..*winks* I shall save you the embarassment for once for you seem in a wonderously up-lifting mood. I am well my friend- my belly is full with good food, the sun is seeping in through my window causing an even cheerier disposition than usual and am currently taking it upon myself to so kindly school a fellow SOL'er into the art of female seduction. Life couldn't be better. And you? How art thou my fair prince?

^And that I presume is what constitutes to as a razor sharp cut down? *Lifts a highly amused brow*...I'm all aghast with afront. Do you have any more in your bag of ill-tempered treats this morn? Paragon- Well of course you missed me I am ofcourse the stars which lights your universe ...come ushers him close, tell me how have you been?

^- I enjoyed Taken greatly- evenly paced and allows one to enjoy a espionage thriller in the classical good-old fashioned sense, by that I mean without thinking too much about a multitude of subplots which do nothing but harass the essence of the first. Nin-yaaban- do, it makes for a nice night out.

^- *Smiles*...That all depends on whether you can handle it. I get the feeling that you may have a nervous break-down or run off weeping into a corner- I mean just look how your handling my teasing already? Tisk tisk....I can handle anything sweetcakes but I'm not sure you can. Can you walk away unscathed and without an ounce of bitterness? If not may I suggest you skip off? If yes? Then lead the way twinkle toes... Just keep it a little bit..classy. By all means be as lewd and flithy as you wish-but keep the class. Are we in agreement candy pants?

Ah, well how gentlemanly of you... *rolls her eyes, sighs and then quirks a bemused brow* you dissapoint me greatly-had no idea you were so sensitive-in anycase perhaps it would be best that you skip off and not lower yourself any further.

^LOL Ouch-but you've read enough to surmise its gibberish-thus you've read enough young man. But I must ask...why so hostile? ..are your nickers too tight?

It was a good movie, if you like Eastern promises? Then it has the same kind of wry-dark humour init. I personally enjoyed myself famously and since I consider myself some what a connoisseur of brilliant movies this will suit you just fine. Have you seen no country for old men? Also very good. The lack of a soundtrack I find really sets off the psychopathic mood.

That Galo stuff gives you black arm-pits-(not to mention has carcinogenic potentional) just use some Qasil mixed with moisturizer and lemon and that will do the trick. Clean, simple and natural.

LOL@Canjeex- WAC-WAC!...Walahi he raped a classic somali tune uff caleeg.

HEY! I like lady GaGa- Her lezbo videos make me sick to tell you the truth but I like that she's utterly insane and yet makes no apologies for it, plus a couple of disco/techno crap makes for great music. *Starts singing and doing the robot to* "Just dance" I do dislike a lot of people, but I find Akon and that dude who did that one hit song "low" rather annoying. I liked the beat on "low" but the message was infuriating I must say. As usual nonsense about being in a club and groping up women. Boring....will they ever change their record?

Yes it looked like crap and probably is which is why I wont bother wasting money on it. I do however recommend you watch Mesrine- starring La Hane's very own Vincent Cassel. It was brillaint-more realistic and rather amusing in a gruesome and dark manner.

^- Gentlemen may I commend you on your excellent choice of music? I especially loved Dabshids ma, ogtahay...*Starts singing* “Aduunyada damaadkeed iinta joogta adaanka aarko nafto ku oogalatee” Classic and wonderful stuff. ^- Gentlemen may I commend you on your excellent choice of music? I especially loved Dabshids ma, ogtahay...*Starts singing* “Aduunyada damaadkeed iinta joogta adaanka aarko nafto ku oogalatee” Classic and wonderful stuff. ALA- I saw this video and it brought me back the old days...sing it with me “Saynabee” http://www.youtube.c om/watch?v=f_ZBZkk_B IQ&feature=related The little rap always makes me laugh!.."so-soco so-soco saynabee"

Originally posted by Paragon: quote:Originally posted by The_Siren: LOL leaves much to be desired and Paragon's insanity? *Smiles* Oh my, I shall resist the need to comment any further on that one. Siren, how do you do? Excuse the AWOL, will you? Do comment. Please, I insist. Maryooleey women are too 'something' to be neurotic. It takes genius. As for my insanity? Sanity is a baren field. And you're most sane. Your forgiven as always my dear. Plus you misunderstand me, I was refering to the insanity and neurotism you'd love to see in your ideal woman not yours. You on the other hand can hardly own to being in the least bit insane (and thus as fruitful as me? per example *hediously flutters lashes*) when you work hard at maintaining "standards" of behaviour and such. Loosen your tight leesh once in a while and then perhaps you'll be ready to join the league of extra-ordinaryly annoying and peculair gentlewomen/men. Scorpian, I have but one wish- that you not leave us again and so soon. ..I have plans for you...

*Smiles at the replies* oh my.....and at last I have time enough to reply...Now lets get down to it. LOL@Juxa- haye baan inna keen walaashey- jinka iggu jira ha la igga sare *Links arms with her and trots off to find the sheiks of Southall* As for this supposed fight that is ensuing between me and Fufu-? LOOOL-Lord I had no idea- *Calls out to fufu* Waaryaahe-ma cado baad ee noqotay? *shocked* Ceeshcalaa...Waar sii yaar oo walaanimadu naga daxaayso baan ku waaninaya- adiguna ileen dabarka baad igga jabinaysa? Ruunti Chocolata na diiday- baal xagee lagu geeyaa? LOL- KID wallahi I kid! I have no idea where this notion of a cat-fight came from but I assure you twinkle toes we are brothers in arms *Ushers him to her Adonis like flat masculine chest, rubs his soft feminine face into her hairy (not forgetting manly) chest and whispers into his ear* Let us be confused together my dear tis nothing to be ashamed of! You shall be the princess who holds the shelter or our home and I the man who shall hunt for you alone. Come let me take care of you and take you away from this dreadful place...*wipes a tear from Fufu’s eye* Valeenta- LOL- I knew you'd like it. *Winks*..btw which rule do you think would work for you mi-lady? Ibti and Malika- LOL My dear darlings stop being so worried....I doubt anyone with any common sense would follow this mock-satirical look at what I consider to be cave men tactics...come who would in their right minds take any of it seriously. Ducaysane- Fulay! Waar Liibaaxo boliiska kama baqo. Fabregas- Thats the spirit! Ps C&H- I thought for a lady like you number 7 would be best to keep you in line..*Winks, Grins and runs off before shouting* Perhaps Fufu would be the best to admnister it seen as though your both so charming when you squabble? Gheele- LOL As usual you get my twisted sense of humour...Horaah! Plus I am NOT a she-male. I am a male-can nobody read it in my stride? hehehe I MEAN..ERHEM...HAHAHA (Like the father chrisma HAHA) Senora- I’m glad you did...it was meant for smiling lips. LOL@Caanjeex- Slaanta ee dashay mooyaan ee qof kale oo aan jarka ka tuura-ba ma jiiro Oh and Fufu and C&H-play nice. *Wags her habayaro finger* Rudy-Don’t act surprised you were my council for the last few weeks of my “coming out” Besides a libertarian as me is not into labels. I am neither she- or he....just He with dashings of she and sprinkles of we. Stop..that didn't sound right. Discard that last statement.

^- Its a manly work out G-String/loin cloth Fufu and I wasn't asking for any man on man action naturally being heterosexual but was considerately fashioning this latest man-garmet in the effort for you to join our campaign. Ibti-LOL God so such a dear, have I shocked you?..Again? *Giggles-and then whispers in her ear-woman fear not-tis another form of my strange sense of humour* Idhoos-is also correct. Dualeh? Now how did I know you'd be with us man? Thats the spirit! Plus...its obvious that I a man...Can you not hear it in my gruff manly exterior? Perhaps this loin cloth does me no justice?

Good evening SOL-I believe that some of you are under the impression that I am a woman? Well it couldn’t be further from the truth. I am 10% a woman but the rest of me is all man and to prove to you just how manly I am- I have decided to share without my very own seduction techniques concerning how to bag yourself a woman. It’s from the Gentlemen’s handy book of cavemen philosophies. Fufu- This is as promised for you and other SOL men. Do enjoy and heed my advise. Let us begin…..there are 7 essential rules. They are as follows. #1. All women no matter how shrewd or intelligent want a real man to show them whose boss, one who’ll drag her kicking and screaming by the hair and into the bed room like the hunter gatherer you are. Forget about feminism women’s lib and all this equality malarkey because all a woman really wants is to have her head smashed against a wall till she’s punch drunk on your overwhelming masculinity. *Siren flexes his muscles* So fellers always remember to slap your woman firmly on the @ss and refer to her as your piece of meat, cause we all know that women LOVE that don’t we? #2. Always make a woman feel as though she’s the living and breathing reincarnation of the goddess Aphrodite, the whispered-sexy compliment is your trade. Be a gentleman and indulge her ego, make her feel special, cherished- even as you drown her with words of poetry and make the usual comparison of her crossed eyes and the sparkling magic of the very stars. It may sound a little pathetic and frivolous to us logical and reasonably manly men but for the fragile more fairer sex? This ego caressing ritual provides much of the sustenance their genetically innate low self-esteems require. Be a man tickle her fancies for she’ll be more likely to tickle yours once you’ve tricked her into a comfortable rhythm- of compliment, compliment-giggle, wink, caress and caress. Such is the fickleness of women. *sighs* But where would we be with out the darlings? #3. When going to rambunctious parties, hedonistic clubs and or other social events make sure to always take advantage of most venerable women possible, these often are those who are either A, drunk B, Drugged, C Foolish romantics or D all of the above mentioned. Note that these types of women prove to be much less inhibited when it comes to administering healthy doses of socially acceptable molestation and are more importantly far easier to over power during the mounting of the cattle stage. For the more adventuresses of you out there- may I suggest you keep a few satchels of Rohypnol with you? Just to liven things up a bit #4. Always take the initiative and follow a woman home, there are two ways of accomplishing this task successfully. You can either do so with her consent- thereby giving her a gentlemanly lift home in your car OR you can opt for the KBG scenario which involves you stealthy sneaking from bush to bush, quite often patiently waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself so that you may engage in courtship rituals with her. Often such blessed openings come disguised in the form of dark narrow alleyways and highly impractical footwear- (God bless stilettos). Now do bare in mind that there will be some who will be so radical as to suggest that such tips as these are verging on sexual assault. But in my defense and the defense of my brothers I do suggest that you initially start out with following women who you know want you to follow them home. And if on occasion you find yourself the unwitting recipient of a few scratches, mace to the face and a knee to the groin? Never fear, because these emblems of feminine excitement are merely the hallmarks attributed to the occupational hazard of being a ladies man. *Flexes her collar* If a man isn’t ready to bleed a little from the eyes and have his ears boxed for showering his attentions on a worthy woman? Then he’s not really a man at all. #5. Always keep in mind that NO, doesn’t necessary mean NO, in fact in many cultures NO actually means YES. So fellers do not allow yourselves to be put off by women who seem a little reluctant to receive your adoration, because if personal experience is anything to go by then when a woman says NO, 99.99% of the time she actually means YES. Therefore if you find that your particular sex kitten is hissing, kicking and screaming at the top of her delicious pair of lungs for you to stop? Then you’re both in for a real treat. Because it’s a scientifically and statically well-known fact that women LOVE aggressive, animalistic sex just as much if not more than us men. In fact a study carried out by the Polytechnic University of Uzbekistan for the Autistic has shown direct colorations between high levels of “the happy sex hormone” (oxytocin) and what I like to refer to as traditional caveman sex more recently termed rape. Not surprisingly by the evil west- who seek to feminize our natural masculine urges. #6. Always protect yourself from false accusations of rape by wearing protective leather gloves and a matching condom, Please my brothers do not be so st*pid as you leave an actual DNA trail in your partner. Also never fail to forget that rape is only ever rape if the woman actually verbally says NO, (like she means it) so stuffing a chloroform drenched rag down her throat is an excellent method of ensuring her co-operation. If the word NO is never actually uttered then its not rape. So fellers remember to (lovingly) gag that sexy ladies mouth before she utters that crucial word. #7. Once you've successfully subdued (romantically and gently of course) a woman back to your place ensure that you've securely locked up the house and blocked off all possible escape routes. There’s nothing more embarrassing than having the woman your supposed to be making hot, passionate love with- run off on you half naked into the street crying for assistance by some passer-by, or worst still trying to make a dash for it to the nearest police station. No one wants to be right bang in the middle of an unnecessary judicial misunderstanding. Thus concludes our lesson for today, remember- it’s a jungle out there boys and you’re the lions of your domain. Go forth and capture what creature you will, tis your natural right anyway. So ladies, admit it- you were charmed were you not? *Smiles, giggles and then Runs off to join the hunt carrying spear in hand*

Originally posted by Fu-Fu: quote:Originally posted by The_Siren: Lord must I have to teach you how to become a successfully sneaky man? of course since you're a man whose courtship is so legendary that he can disguise himself as a woman so yeah go ahead and school me and share with me few tips of how to set hearts racing...what do you think of this? LOL-Well naturally my manly methods are unorthodox but they get me results, if you are truly ready to be taught. I shall return with a couple of seduction techniques written by a man (me) for men. Watch this space...a topic I shall entirely dedicate to you my brother in arms. Ibti- Its Mr Mostapha Dualeh's way of dealing with my brand of civilized rejection. Seems as though the boy isn't taking it quite as well as I hoped. As for you? He probably just wants to rub myself up against your leg like a dog in heat but is unable to find a way to do so successfully with out having you punch him in the eye. Scorpion? At least you have returned to us? Oh joy!...As for patience? Lord must you always be so reasonable? Ps I also like Juxa's choosen feature. Why? Its self-explanatory.

*Smiles* Very nice.

LOL@Fufu- before I leave....I’d like to advise you to not push your luck any further, after your last comment your in danger of coming across as a one-Syllable speaking cave man. If you wish to get laid in this place, may I suggest that you hide your chauvinist tendencies until AFTER you have trick some poor hapless female into an uncompromising position? Lord must I have to teach you how to become a successfully sneaky man? Tisk tisk.... Good evening all. *Bows at the waist, kisses the air and then strolls off*