i dont want to get my head chopped off, but i really think we dont know what we want until we see it (we being women). because all the aforementionned things that turn you off in a man may be overlooked because of xyz and all those things you say you are looking for, when you have it all in front of you, it still doesnt measure up to what you want.

oooh, id like to expand on that question, and ask how did you know that person was right for you? or how did you know that you were ready to solidify your relationship?

i think you should follow your local mosque. its on your intentions. obviously things are out of whack since the communities in the west havent done eid on the same day.s just follow your local mosque or your family.

*pokes head in* silently sips tea in corner.

islamic finder's calendar says the 10th is saturday.

Originally posted by Fee: What turns me off? Men who breath. Why are they so dependent on oxygen? It's depressing. Inhale, exhale? How about no, you oxygen hogger. i laughed out loud... but seriously, whats up with those weirdos.

^^^ are we talking about premarital sex or teen pregnancy, cause even though they are related, theyre still seperate issues and they affect different societies differently. youre right, its up to the community to do something but why should teens be punished for the way their community brought them up and failed them? you failed to acknowledge my point of the factors leading to these statistic. you may be shocked at the matter of factness some of us are taking on the topic, i assure you i dont take it lightly, but i'll look at it from a realistic and as non-emotional perspective as i can. if you're worried about your kids falling into the influence of their surroundiings, or kids having sex because their hommies are having it, than i suggest you pay attention to your kids lives (their friends, if theyre dating anyone or like anyone) and stress to them the importance and beauty of marriage from day one. teens are having sex regardless of their friends, because theyre horny and they're horny all over the world and in some parts of the world (like our homeland) they get married young, so its not an issue. a child with a healthy sense of self worth wont try and get pregnant because their friend shaneequa gets to miss her last semester because shes recovering from her pregnancy. a child from a healthy family, with a strong sense of self worth, and desire to strive and succeed will see the many many many options available to her, including a long lasting monogomous relationship. some girls today are purposely getting pregnant because they dont see that, and shutting a door on them, especially such a lil' door like high school isnt going to help. education in fact may help them acquire self respect, and open horizons to them (like college) that would let them value things they otherwise wouldnt, like ISLAM!!! lets be real, though you have a right to be scared the phenomenon is going to encroach upon your doorstep, it isn't, not in the same way, and it most likely never will. i cant reasonably see muslim girls trying to get pregnant out of wedlock en masse no matter their environment. we prize marriage too much as a society. however, pre-marital sex may be a more plausible concern. though dont think it has as much to do with friends as it does instilled values and opportunity, and its pretty much the same the world over. only difference is that in this countyr kids have more "opportunity" to do it. (theyre unsupervised more).

todyay my lil bro is playing a bball tournament and forbade me to watch. some college scouts are going to be there, so i made a lil dua. I gave him some store bought cookies for breakfast. I went to class and was completely unprepared, but got some points in, I want my professors to fall in love with me this semester.

^^^ i actually laughed out loud. so where exactly does the quran lie on your list?

^^^ he might as well have been visiting her. it wouldve been nice if he had visited the brothel on her first day, than the likelihood for a happy ending would have been higher.

i dont wanna get into a typh, i realy dont, but the idea that aiding teenage mothers to pursue higher learning is going to encourage other young girls to get pregnant is ridiculous. i think were all looking at this situation very myopically (i hope thats a word). there are other factors to the high rate of teen pregnancies. i bet anything the bulk of the statistics is from black girls, with a history of sexual abuse in the family, domestic abuse, and generations of single mothers. poverty and race play a huge role. these girls arent having more sex than the kids in the white schools, but the white kids are using birth control or opting for abortions. im not making a judgement here, im just saying that circumstances and history are a factor, slavery is a factor, social values is a factor. i've read articles touching on the same subject where young girls said they actively wanted to get pregnant because they wanted to have a purpose, motherhood gives them a purpose to live. i mean, we can all sit back and talk about how haram or irresponsible it is but for now this is a non-issue amongst somalis. of course that doesnt mean we should get on our high horses and sweep this under the rug as if its something that cant affect us. obviously we should encourage marriage, at any age, including teens (in my opinion). kids right now are dating, muslim kids, and some may be engaging in premarital sex, and meanwhile parents aren't advising them to marry. instead our sons are patted on the back and our daughters beaten into a pulp. here's a question to you all, if your 15 yr old son was in a serious relationship (what he viewed as serious) would you encourage him to marry or advise him to wait until his education is done with and he has gotten himself a job? and would it matter to you of what background the girl is? how many situations like this do you know of?

^^^ i would agree with you if it werent for the fact that rape is rampant in the kingdom. the raping of foreign workers (usually female maids) is a common untold story. we, muslims, need to face the fact that though the kingdom is the guadian of the two holy mosques, much of what they subscribe to culturally and what they promote legally isnt islam. since when does the shariah prescribe having a muttawa? or force women to live infanitilzed existance where they constantly need permission of the men in their lives? or make the existance of other religions illegal? or criminalize rape victims? you have the right to your opinion, though. personally i ddnt find anything disrespectful or even biased in this article. if you feel slighted at the fact the writer chose a subject that puts muslims in a sort of negative light, than i would have to agree, the main purpose was to make us look bad, but than again we are making it easy for them, arent we. i think in the end, its up to us (muslims) to clean up our act and at the very least, stand against injustice no matter who is the perpetrator.

ummm, thats not pornographic... i was just joking earlier, so i dont know if we all saw the same thing or not. it was definitely disturbing, but not pornographic... there was nothing graphic about it.

i want to change topics, but i cant edit. i want those who plan on returning to somalia to answer me the following questions: what are your feelings towards your present adoptive country? in what position or capacity do you want to return to somalia, or is a position even necessary?

DONT JUDGE ME!!!

they executed the guy? saudi arabia is a joke!!! the government and the laws are supposed to protect people, not make it easier for people to do such vile acts. foreigners are treated like garbage there, with no rights, women even worse. where could this child have even gone to get help? NOWHERE!!! thats the real atrocity. with all its development as a nation, they have nothing set up for aid and social work. she has her hands chopped, why and how? are you sure its the sudanese guy and not that joke of a country's ridiculous application of shariah?

on the real, that had a strange hypnotic effect on me. i completely understand everybody taking refuge in allah, i wish i had the self-awareness to do the same. it was disturbing,i ddnt want to watch any further but i couldnt avert my eyes... needless to say im not the same woman i used to be. *lip quivers* *single tear rolls down left eye*

what we're trying to say is, you need to rev up your image, like the above guy. play some george washington in the background, or better yet, a funky somali song. i got big things plan'd for ya kid, big things!!! we're gonna go far! 'll have my people call your people, maybe do lunch? *does wink and gun*, see ya.

just say anything

sixteen candles

can someone translate please, cause thats alot of somali. A LOT!

so, i like corny teenage movies. but not the creepy/pervy kind about losing your virginity with a pastry, or being superbad... those are not welcome in this post. this post is dedicated to the cool teen movies that have a sappy love story smooshed in the middle, and have just enough teen angst and resentment towards the establishment that the "loooove" isnt sappy. my favorite of all time (or my favorite for now, cause im watching it on the web) is " never been kissed". share your favorite teen movie please, and not the pervie kind please.

physical or mental abuse... infidelity, lies...everything else can be worked i think. but if you hit me once, you better hope to god you stunned me enough would not to fight back...shoot, im keeping some male relatives on 10 mile radius of me at all times just in case a nukka would.

i cant stop watching why wont it stopp oh! the inhumanity of it all!!! *runs to a corner and sobs uncontrollably*

Originally posted by Skipper: . I know this somali girl who got marrried to an ethiopians fella who aslo happens to be a christian, she literally told her family if you dont accept this guy then i will marry him no matter what. So if somali girls since coming to Europe have this perception that somali men are non romantic, dont live to expections amoung others then help yourself and marry a nigerian if you like. . [/QB] ummm, do you know of any somalis marrying other somalis who are less than desirable marriage mates? you know like alcoholics, bad temper... i can think of a couple and each time the girl is like "but i love him and you cant stop me" or some variation of that. in somalia there is a city notorious for secret elopements; its called youthful recklessness and/or plain idiocy. theyll pay for it in the long run, cause they usually know beforehand what theyre getting involved with. my point is, women throughout the ages and throughout the world have been settling for losers, deadbeats, and selling themselves short for "love" and romance for a long time, and it has nothing to do with them running away from somali men. in fact its to your (not you personally) deadbeatsomali arms they sometimes run to. people, look at the other side of the coin.