i would go anywhere that i have the means for. no question yet. someone else can jump in.

cinnamon french toast... its pure sugar. whens yr last visit to the dentist?

telephone-or telecommunication... or even the fibres for the wiress for telephone lines, internet etc. somalis are very social people, and they like to talk alot. question: do you floss your teeth regularly?

am i the only one thinking this might be a family member? like i want to do a roll call to see if everybody is accounted for. i get that feeling everytime i see a somali in the news.

aww, that pic is tragic. for reezy.

new question: what is your favorite color?

^^^ i think yr racist.

I think we idealize the past too much. I don't think people were that different. the hadith that is underlying your theory refers to the believers. the best generation of MUSLIMS were those of the prophet's (peace be upon him) generation, and the following 3 and it goes downhill from there, so obviously the companions of the prophet were more focused on their goal; improving their life in this life and the next. i agree, i think if people were more aware (had more taqwa) that they are accountable for everything, more marriage would last longer, but whaddaya want?

JOKE!!!

it depends what it is... cause music is a little bit tricky. first of all, not all music is haram.if i am not mistaken, music with instruments and foul lyrics are haraam, but music in and of itself is fine. there are hadiths that mention ppl singing celebratory songs, and the prophet (peace be upon him) ddnt stop them... and Allah knows best. when im reminded something is haram by someone i take seriously (cause you know there are ppl who jst love saying "haram, haram, haram" and turn up their nose) than i either 1) stop and remind myself of the hell fire or 2) i ask for proof if ive never heard of such a statement or if it doesnt make sense to me.

i think twice... but the second time is a little bit vague... i may be confusing that fall with yesterdays. i fell at least one time today and im not mentally challenged!!! its just very icy and slippery outside. question: when do you feel yr best?

can you see any irony in your questions here, and your statements in other posts calling jamaicans and other blacks ugly?

uhm, not that difficult. its just a quick way to look up information, and the information isnt all that factual. question: how do you get rid of under-eye circles?

rejection question: does protesting do anything in this day and age?

Originally posted by umu zakaria: How to Make your Wife Happy The following is part ONE of a summary of the book "How to make your wife happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed. 1. Beautiful Reception After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you: * begin with a good greeting. * Start with Assalamau 'Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du'aa for her as well. * Shake her hand and leave bad news for later! 2. Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations * Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones. * Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks. * Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands. * Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc. 3. Friendliness and Recreation * Spend time talking together. * Spread to her goods news. * Remember your good memories together. 4. Games and Distractions * Joking around & having a sense of humor. * Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever. * Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment. * Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment. 5. Assistance in the Household * Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired. * The most important thing is making it obvious that he appreciates her hard work. 6. Consultation (Shurah) * Specifically in family matters. * Giving her the feeling that her opinion is important to you. * Studying her opinion carefully. * Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better. * Thanking her for helping him with her opinions. 7. Visiting Others * Choosing well raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!) * Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits. * Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with. 8. Conduct During Travel * Offer a warm farewell and good advice. * Ask her to pray for him. * Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence. * Give her enough money for what she might need. * Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc.. * Return as soon as possible. * Bring her a gift! * Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night. * Take her with you if possible. 9. Financial Support * The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful). * He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadeith). * He is strongly encouraged to give to her before she asks him. 10. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification * Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms. * Always being clean and neat. * Put on perfume for her. 11. Intercourse * It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.) * Start with "Bismillah" and the authentic du'a. * Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus). * Begin with foreplay including words of love. * Continue until you have satisfied her desire. * Relax and joke around afterwards. * Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it haram * Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hiyaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking your clothes together instead of asking her to do it first while he is looking on. * Avoid positions during intercourse that may harm her such as putting pressure on her chest and blocking her breath, especially if you are heavy. * Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted. 12. Guarding Privacy * Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters. 13. Aiding in the Obedience to Allah * Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray "Qiam-ul-Layl" (extra prayer done at night with long sujood and ruku'ua). * Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and its tafseer. * Teach her "Dhikr" (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening. * Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale. * Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so. 14. Showing Respect for her Family and Friends * Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents. * Invite them to visit her and welcome them. * Give them presents on special occasions. * Help them when needed with money, effort, etc.. * Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her friends and family. 15. (Islamic) Training & Admonition This includes * The basics of Islam * Her duties and rights * Reading and writing * Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs * Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women * Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library 16. Admirable Jealousy * Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house. * Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men. * Avoiding excess jealousy. Examples of this are: 1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not mean 2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just. 3- Preventing her from answering the phone. 17. Patience and Mildness * Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown. * Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc.. * Forgive the mistakes she does to you (See item 18). * How can you best correct her mistakes? 1- First, implicit and explicit advice several times. 2- Then by turning your back to her in bed (displaying your feelings). Note that this does not include leaving the bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking with her. 3- The last solution is (when allowable) lightly hitting her. In this case, the husband should consider the following: - He should know that sunnah is to avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH never beat a woman or a servant. - He should do it only in extreme cases of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without cause frequently, constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of time without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been, etc.. - It should not be done except after having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with her as mentioned in Qur'an . - He should not hit her hard injuring her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body. - He should avoid shaming her such as by hitting her with a shoe, etc. 18. Pardoning and Appropriate Censure * Accounting her only for larger mistakes. * Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah's rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc.. * Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake. * Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing. * Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn't then he does not eat and does not comment. * Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations * Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings. * When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others. * Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To help strengthening the Muslim families and spread the teachings of Islam in building families, the Muslim Students' Association at the University of Alberta prepared a extremely summarized translation for two books. The books are Arabic by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed. An Egyptian scholar, who graduated from the Islamic University of Al Madinah Al-Munawwarah in Saudi Arabia. The two books are: 1- How to make your wife happy 2- How to make your husband happy These are the best Arabic books I have seen on this subject. They exceed the traditional presentation of stating rights and duties to the 'Adab (good manners) and extend into application of these rights in daily life. The above summary highlights mainly the responsibilities or examples of what could or should be done. Every single item mentioned by the author is supported by evidences from Qur'an, Sunnah or the actions of the companions, but evidences are omitted in this translation. The above is the translation of the FIRST book. This translation is copyrighted to MSA at University of Alberta. Feel free to repost it or reprint it by all means, provided that you do not make any changes, additions, or omissions without permission. Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah and for reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors. Muslim Students' Association University of Alberta Edmonton, Canada February, 1999 and the reason i have to take it with a grain of salt can be explained with the above rules. the advice to the woman has a part about anger and how to deal with, and the anger being referred to is the husbands. the advice to the husband has pretty much the same that was given to the wife, except when referring to anger in the relationship, it still referring to the husband... women apparantly never get angry and are subject to their husbands changes of moods. im not attacking the sheikh (even though i am upset), because i know he cant help but write from his point of view and no matter how learned he is, he is not a woman. we need more female scholars.

Originally posted by umu zakaria: How to Make Your Husband Happy The following is part ONE of a summary of the book "How to make your husband happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed. 1- Beautiful Reception After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting. * Meet him with a cheerful face. * Beautify and perfume yourself. * Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested. * Receive him with loving and yearning sentences. * Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time. 2- Beautify and Soften the Voice * For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried). 3- Smelling Good and Physical Beautification * Taking good care of your body and fitness. * Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes. * Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells. * Avoide that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape. * Avoide prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoo. * Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes. * Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time. * However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course, only act as such in front of mahrem men and women. 4- Intercourse * Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it. * Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse. * Exchange loving phrases with your husband. * Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire. * Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband, and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc. 5- Satisfaction With What Allah (SWT) Has Allotted * You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job. * You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (SWT) for all that was given to you. * You should remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety. 6- Indifference to Worldly Things * You should not consider this world as your hope and interest. * You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things. * Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah). * Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people. 7- Appreciation * By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them. * The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways. * The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates? 8- Devotion and Loyalty * In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy * Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed. 9- Compliance to Him * In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram). * In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant. 10-Pleasing Him If He Is Angry * First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger. * But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows: 1- If you are mistaken, then apologize. 2- If he is mistaken then: # Keep still instead of arguing or # Yield your right or # Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him. 3- If he was angry because of external reasons then: # Keep silent until his anger goes # Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him # Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened, e.g. 1) You should tell me what happened? 2) I must know what made you so angry. 3) You are hiding something, and I have the right to know. 11-Guardianship While He is Absent * Protect yourself from any prohibited relationships. * Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husband doesn't like other people to know. * Take care of the house and children. * Take care of his money and properties. * Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijab. * Refuse people whom he does not like to come over. * Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place. * Be good to his parents and relatives in his absence. 12- Showing Respect for his Family and Friends * You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents. * You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives. * You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife. * Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc. * Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home. * Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc.. 13- Admirable Jealousy * Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc.. * You should not follow or create unfounded doubts. 14-Patience and Emotional Support * Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances. * When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc. * When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested, etc.), be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of paradise. * When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment 15- Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad * Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships. * Encourage him to pray at night. * Listen and reciting the Qur'an individually and with your husband. * Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband. * Remember Allah SWT much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib. * Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children. * Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners ('adab) for women. * Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc. * Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah. * Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah SWT. 16-Good Housekeeping * Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged. * Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom. * Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods. * Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing. * Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way. 17-Preservation of Finances and the Family * Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this. * Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent. * Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To help strengthening the Muslim families and spread the teachings of Islam in building families, the Muslim Students' Association at the University of Alberta prepared a extremely summarized translation for two books. The books are Arabic by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed. An Egyptian scholar, who graduated from the Islamic University of AlMadinah Al-Munawwarah in Saudi Arabia. The two books are: 1- How to make your wife happy 2- How to make your husband happy These are the best Arabic books I have seen on this subject. They exceed the traditional presentation of stating rights and duties to the 'Adab (good manners) and extend into application of these rights in daily life. The above summary highlights mainly the responsibilities or examples of what could or should be done. Every single item mentioned by the author is supported by evidences from Qur'an, Sunnah or the actions of the companions, but evidences are omitted in this translation. The above is the translation of the SECOND book. This translation is copyrighted to MSA at University of Alberta. Feel free to repost it or reprint it by all means, provided that you do not make any changes, additions, or omissions without permission. Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah, and for the reviewer, brother Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors. Muslim Students' Association University of Alberta Edmonton, Canada February, 1999 I think u can see the source. Enjoy nephy. Ps. I will get you some proves abt what u asked. i am not going to say anything bad about the sheikh, who is more knowledgeable than me and who has obviously spent his time much better than i have, however... i take "how to" books intended for women and written by men with a grain of salt.

my last date was 2 weeks ago, but it wasnt "that" kind of date. I was invited to a friends house for dinner and snacks and we watched/listened to some RIS lectures. it was cool, they were all about family and marriage. question: ever feel trapped or doomed? what do you do about it?

if I could sure. actually my dad used to work for a wild life organization (more like government funded something) in somalia, and they used to rescue abandonned cubs. he befriended a baby cheetah whom he says was his pet. we have pictures of him with the lil' lions and cheetahs. at one point we had paintings of wild animals all over our house, i slowly began to unhook them from the wall. question: do animal rights groups tick you off?

i dont pay attention to meals. my favourite dish is fish and rice. i love fish. question: have you ever beat up someone?

uhm, i think its really ironic how the elections turned up this year. its too good to be true, and too convenient. a black man and a white woman both running for presidency? i mean, yeah sure, it shows how far gone society has come but, isnt it toooo convenient? ionno. both candidates don't limit themselves or their platform to their personal identity. obama isnt going to solve infrastructural racism in america, and i heavily doubt he'll be able to fix bushes mess but i think most people voting for him are choosing him because he looks and acts the part. personally id pick obama because hes the type of leader you want representing you when meeting other world leaders... we need a somali obama.

i think even muslims value women on looks... i mean modesty is an element. its a quality that is encouraged, but lets face it, even with the hijab, guys go for the lookers. i mean it goes both ways. we're genetically programmed to be with one another (men and women), and a woman is more valuable to a man if she is beautiful. i mean look at what you said, a man wnts a beautiful woman to sit shotgun? you ddnt say smart, funny, generous or even modest. im not ragging on men for this, i mean, beauty is a good thing; nobody should be ashamed for admiring it or having it. exploitation can occur on both ends bro. i believe that anything Allah swt orders is superior than what we create, but even with the hijab, women can be exploited. what do you think of societies that demand total complete compliance to islamic rule of conduct and dress for women, but nothing on men? i mean there are places in the world that remove all responsibility away from men, when it comes to zina or even RAPE. i call that exploitation. the men can enjoy their sin, and the women folk get the blame. obviously thats because of a deviation of islam, but... its all over the world. we cant pretend that everything is all good because it looks proper or because the problem isnt in yr face. yes, i think marriage serves as a protection for both men and women, and there is a wisdom in polygyny (like most things Allah gives us, there is more than one reason, and the reason may change with time), but its not that cut and dry. not every woman had a man who provided for her. the purpose of marriage isn't the same for everyone. there was a companion whose husband was infirm, she provided for him, it was considered sadaqa. there was a woman whose household didnt have an able bodied man, so she lead the prayer (i cant remember the names, may Allah swt be pleased with them all). marriage is half of the deen, and ideally men are supposed to provide for the family, but thats not the main purpose of marriage. a woman can work, there is nothing stopping her.I have to go to class. salaam

uhm, yes and no. i think its more important to learn to distinguish when talking is necessary, and when silence is necessary. everything in moderation. the romantic poets believed that they had to recluse themselves off from society, temporarily, to be in tune with nature/their musings. upon return to regular life, they would compose their poetry... sometimes a drastic contrast can make you appreciate what you have.

i know, we're just adding ppl on our facebooks and checking pics. i think we should have some sort of a reunion though. that would be fun, and nerdy.

oops, i ddnt know cadaan already answered that q i like kids. i hate teenagers. where to raise kids? wherever allah swt takes you. everywhere is corrupt, its all about keeping the kid's minds strong. question: does anyone really know they are prepared for a task before doing it?

bro ameen, i think yr underestimating the power of emotions. do you remember the case about the female astronaut? the woman who crossed state lines, and wore a diaper to avoid wasting time to get to her cheating husband and kill him? i mean, society values women on the basis of whether or not they can get a man (you see this in unbelieving societies and how women and young girls are encouraged to dress provocatively and therefore turn heads, get dates. in more conservative societies, we see this as whether or not a girl can illicit numerous marriage proposals). so when a man decides he wants someone else as a spouse, the first wife cant help but begin to question herself, and her worth, her whole identity even. i think there is a similar element with men. you feel imasculated to have someone else lay with your wife. im not saying this is the way things should be, but it is, and you have to understand how that can affect a woman, a human being. something dies inside. plus, yre assuming that only men are programmed to be protective of their mates, its not true. most things we do are a result of social conditionning anyways. Allah swt permitted polygyny but he ddnt prescribe it or recommend it to all men and in most areas, men and women are more alike than we'd like to believe. even parents/guardians dont want their daughters to be a co-wife. they feel as though its a slight on their daughter, and in some cases it is. im not anti-polygyny (btw societies that permit men to marry multiple wives are called polygyny. polygamy is when a society encourages multiples marriage partners for both genders) but if a man, after 20 yrs of marriage with the same woman, gets himself a bride as old as his first marriage, thats like a massive middle finger to those 20 yrs with that woman. personally, i think any man who sets out on a marriage knowing and planning to marry multiple women needs some emotional maturity, cause relationships aren't just about the individual. i mean, if during the marriage something happens that changes things (either internally or externally from marriage), than you can talk things out, maybe accomodate. but you married to me and plotting? what, you checkin' out my girlfriends? NO!!!