You know there are those type of girls. It is only a matter of personality, and it takes nearly 3-5 years unitl they really open up and talk freely. And even then they are obliged with saying things you will believe to be ok. Maybe then again she might be a one of a kind. So just maybe be patient.

If I were deprived, you would have nothing to worry about coming from me towards you. You are not my type Xoogsade THANK GOODNESS. So the grass is really greener on the other side!

Suldaanka, Your analogy there was a bit amusing but i would not percieve it that terribly. Especially that the little girl till today is looking preetier and younger than she was 14 years ago although experienced and wise. Sky your ingorance keeps on shining through you and is very transparent day by day. I know many non somalilanders who have brown teeth. So i would like to inform you on that note like a new growing 3 year old. and you are actually mentioning the lack of respect among s/landers? towards their female counter parts? :eek: Comming from you? Walaahi I laughed a good long laugh for a while. It is like the story of the mad cat who would kept on looking for the dead mouse that was lying on her chimney rug where she does the surveillance and keeps guard of the family the whole night. st paul chick sis there is little difference. It is just due to the actions of some war lords that have placed hatred and misery between the two states that has left blood to be shed and grief till today between the two. Other than that we all a big happy family. We all muslims ...period! like you hear on sesame street I love you you love me were a happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me to You Won't you say you love me too? lol though don't take it in a dirty manner...let's be sensible about it.

Xoogsade I don't see why it is bothering you. Are you deprived of women these days? Really you sound like you haven't seen a female talk for centuries. But to correct you, most of the topics are written by male members in this thread, just these couple of weeks they have given us some space like NUUNE said and the girls were more then delighted to show thier side of the story whether it be sports, love, food etc without interruptions.So don't pollute the space. NUUNE Adi kaalay? maa waxaad mooday in la idiin darsaday? Alaa waa qalad runtii wa la idinka raystay oo albaab laydh qaboob sida ayaba noo furmay eh ha soo naqonina. Nuune but i miss your humerous topics these days no one seem to obtain the good all somali stories and caricatures.

Hibo sis, You know what i hate. Somali sisters that are needing of a husband yet still refuse the normal, decent considerable guy who can maybe in a few years financially secure her and maybe her whole reer (family). Personally...my destiny and your destiny is determined and made by the almighty. All i have to do is maybe train myself as the socail worker to understand and appreciate this new one of a kind. They say Allah burdens the good person whether male or female to transform and change the bad one for the better. So it is not for us to choose. This is Allahs business and he plays the matching game. So He (Asa wajala) will say precisly HIBO will marry a sheikh (learned scholor of any kind) and will have 7 children (min ok!) who will insha Allah themselves be one of the learned in Islamic teaching and all Xafida al Quraan.

Modesty,,, I am not following. Are you upset because he was a jerk or because he was cheap? Or maybe both? Well, just make sure next time you do not chi chat with home boys that look for a girl yet cannot afford a girl. You know those types even after marrying take the girl to thier maothers home. So be extra carefull

Rahima To tell you the truth, i didn't even come up with this thought until this thread---look at the title. Did i initiate such discussion, only to my awareness that those kind of things have been happening and beyond the masses in melbourne. The poster is in Melbourne...maybe then she should know more than me right?

I visited her site a year ago, and when the highlighted title 'MUSILM REFUSE NICK' sprung up,i just closed the window of my internet explorer. I think Ngong and Viking should stop argueing becuase this lady is a shaitan. She has no use in life but to guide the weak and hypocrites to the hell fire. So let her do her job and she would only collect more Wonderfull deeds. But on a serious note who actually listens to this lady because even the average eduacted individual in the west would know how to categorize a blasphemous text or source of information from the credible islamic scripts.

Nonge What are you implying now????I'am not going to say anymore becuase i was nearly digested a while ago.

Hibo walaal Congrads! Ilaahay hakuu macaneeyo. May allah make it a wonderful experience Ameen. Walaal i was actually oppisite to you. I had the hijaab on since grade 3 and onwards. My mother never forced me to wear it although in primary i would have the urge to have mini skirt and tops that were part of the uniform, then have my hair dangling by my side or at the back tied in a bun. But then in high school it was not so hard because i went to an islamic school and everyone looked alike. Today i'am so greatful for it because it is part of my identity not just as a muslim but as an individual. We all grow up, but some people subhanallah grow up the wrong way and take the wrong direction and do not have the light, the hadayaah. It is sad and a dead end,,,so may alaah show us his light. Ameen. Lander sis, so you think parents should not force their girls to wear the scarf? but i think they should atleast imply and confirm it with them at an early stage don't you agree? that this is how it should be from now on without forcing them or anything and making them understand properly. When they mostley do is at ages 14 to 16 which is too late. The girls have grown up and had no past experience with the scarf and it is hard for them to adjsut to it at those ages. I started early and it was hard for me to remove it because i never perceived life any other way. It was just always a picture of me and my little cute hijaab. Cannot picture myself any other way.

Nur, It is easy for you to say this because you are a male. Runitii it is very hard being a female these days and one of the reasons why i wish someitmes i was not one is because of too much XAN! You might not even want to get involved and try your best to stay away and then gabadha saxiibada ahii baa kula soo hadal qaadaysa, amba walaasha amba heblayo who ever it might be. Just all the latest goss. And of course their is the biggest shaitan in me, it makes me have a tiny interest in it and soon you realise you are involved. This might sound ridiculous, but it is very difficult really to escape news from reaching you. There is a news reporter in every lady (esp somali ones ilaahay hanoo sahlo). And they complain why are inhabitors of the fire mostely females? markaa soo ducee nur walaal it is very difficult just the fitnah is too great and it reaches you without you realising. It is dangerous.

Salam I just would like to say you have a very nice nick name (screen name, or is it your real name?) He is a hero of mine...

miss lander, sis i thought i had a deficiency in the somali language util i came across you. It is walaal not walaa.lol ok? and i like this one 6) Ur wearing a acaba and a scarf (fully covered) assume it means; red light (don’t come near me), they still try and chat u up!!! has that happened to you? Maybe by the religious ones and they are just looking for some one of thier likening. But ignore. That is the only way to get out of such situations.

Rahima, Sister if you tihnk so then bravo. Stick to that perception because after all it was all due to your own ideas and reasoning which is a bit biased don't you think? That is why i said that we need a third party to give credit or disapproval. But you look so determined and idealistic so let us come to an end and maybe start putting some input to the topic subject itself rather then starting some unwanted side debate. As you would know that this issue is increasing and we need some preaching directed at the victims invovled. And these should be implemented by the youth. The youth helping the youth sort of program becuase i think then this would have more effective as the somali youth become so disattached and unwanting the somali community leaders. So what do you reckon. We could maybe initiate such scheme but it would have to be purely islamic and based on islamic ideals. No other way can we otherwise have a successful scheme. So what do you reckon mate?

Moth I have just read that you are Indian. I didn't see that earlier. Ok then, I'am sorry. But let me share with you my little experience. Once upon a time, when rayaana was in yr 10-12, she had an indain teacher who was her maths teacher in yr 10 and human biology in grades 11-12. Now this indian teacher gave poor little rayaana hell! She reduced her makrs just because she was had resemblance to african skin, and even worse, was somali. Now really she shouldn't complain because other somali students had the same torture. She would only kiss her feet as soon as she walks into the room, make her some tea and say all the nice things she had on her mind regarding her teacher. Rayaana was in that class for 3 years and had no way out. But when she looks back she regards her as one of the best people she had ever come across. first because she was her teacher. Second she taught her discpline and third because her teaching skills over rided always by her prejudice thoughts gave rayaana strong identity and racial-proof skin! So rayaana still loves her teacher and pays tribute to her in that same old class every now and then and will always. There you have some of my experiences and many more that i'am not bothered to mention.So i suggest you put yourself in other peoples shoes before you shoot at them like you did earlier.

Salam all, So. I see i have touched some sensitive skins. For all those i have disgusted...i am willing to disgust you more. First and for all Arabs have nothing to do with my religion. As a muslim i'am taught condemn prejudice. How dumbfounded i was, some members here are insulting me just because i was giving my little but deep thought. None of you can tell me about arabs. In fact i have grown up with arabs all me life up to the degree that i even have some as relatives . No body can tell me arabs way of thinking, living etc. In school, i had most arab girlfriends and we were very close,,,so close,,,and then it will get to the stage of marriage and they would insult my somlai brothers infront of me. Even the religious ones. Well maybe iam wrong they would try to hide their feelings. I had a somali sista who lived a couple of blocks down my lane and she had yemeni neighbours. They were born in the same apartment, went to the same school, ate together you name it they were close. And it reached the stage when the teenagers grew up and had an interest in each other (that is the somali sister was going to be asked by the yemeni guy who apparently was interested in her). And so the news reached the parents and of course the yemeni parents were overwhelmed. They disapproved from every corner. Now these were people they trusted. New all thier lives. Had childrens in the same building side by them. And so i have seen that arabs are just so smart. i have encountered so many similar scenarios iam not surprised any longer. You may think iam stereotyping and generalising. But then how can i be when i have seen real live situations and iam like in these scenes or a watcher from a distance. Walahi i think they are good. Very protective with their culture. I just would love it if somalis would be the same way. Now this does not mean you show disrespect to those of other nationalities. That is haram by law. But to have love for your people and country (and all muslim humanity) is very important. I still company arabs. Always will. Have no choice because the porphet (asw) is among them. But walahi if that wasn't so i would pay no respect to 'some' arabs that reside today. I however believe that there is that 20-30% who are not so chauvinistic and so one should never generalise. But the majority rules, and among those arabs who i have encountered 90% show little respect to people of african ethnicities. But do not add the sahabahs in this group of arabs iam naming. Do not misunderstand iam talking about the arabs of today. I would do anything to have had a conversation, be the daughter, friend or relative of Asma Bint Abu Bakr or Musab Ibn Umayr. These were our heroes and of course they were arabs, but they encoded the real islamic pre conditioning into their lives. I wish i was among them sometimes too Not only arabs but some somali are the same. We forgot the beuatiful ayah in surat al hujaraat "o mankind, we have created you from a single pair of male-female and made you into nations and tribes so that you might know one another.."Ayah 13(i think) Mob to Flame...I have seen your very nasty reply. I will though try to ignore you, i have encountered many of your type and so you are not so hmmm...exciting! Dawoco walaal aad iyo aad baad uu mahadsantahay. There are always people like you who have the courtesy to carefully read in between the lines of what is written and understand with thought. Bilan, i always was and i'am now. Again the way i think of arab behaviour will not make me be worse a muslim. I condemn thier way of behaving with other human beings whom they disregard as equivalent and worthy of respect. And again, iam saying they are not all like that. Our loving prophet was not like that was he? They as arabs should take some reponsibilty and encode his way of living and dealing with people of different colours and ethnicities.

PLEAZE Carab haygu soo hadal qaadin. Do not ever marry an arab,,,i just feel sorry for those who marry arabs, they are the most racist, uncivilised ppl you will meet and next to them are the indains---marry a revert instead, coz the end of the day a arab will call u ya aswada, and your children behind your balk will be called "the children of the black one". This is comon in arab countries and if you live there you will experience it yourself no matter how religious they might say they are. They are arabs~!~ And what is wrong with our somali brothers? They are the best you will ever meet~iyaka ha dhafin sis,they are goodlooking, wise and thoughtfull!

I don't know how anyone would have the time to write such lengthy letter,,seriously there is no time in the wolrd these days and you shouldn't be playing with time Lexus i have two words FEAR ALLAH!

Ok Rahima Back to our debate. I had a hectic week handing in assingments + tests. So you asked me did i ever visit Melbourne? that is a NO! and i repeat NOOOO! I would rather have dreaded... However the reason i have come to such thoughts of this city next to us is all i here of its inhabitants is complaints and complaints. And one will come to think why should you move to such place if all these ppl are crying and nagging, they made me hate it actually in the beginning i never thought so low of the somlais there (not all iam not generalising), in fact my ayeeyo came to us down here for a visit and i asked if i coud for a visit to help her since she is fragile now. She simply said no, it was like but why not? and her repl was the youth in her neighbourhood are not very naughty and she doesn't want me to befriend them. So, i have many connections here and i'am not making such facts up. But to tell you the truth, i have heard too many other places and i think somalis are taking all bad pathways in where ever they live. They are taking the wrong crowd as their role models and lose in every direction; their future, respect, family, religion and hereafter ("most important). Ok if you don't mind me asking, how many relgious groups are there in melbourne. Do not forget you have a higher population in melbourne there so should have a higher ratio (you get what i mean-the math here). And do not count those who last for a couple of weeks and then die out. And those established by hypocrites. Walaal in the end of the day we should not argue. Because the case here is simple. Just ask anyone and they would tell you, we are perhaps just too bais towards our corner of the image. Amatilaah; what are you talking about,,, adii kumaba fahmin eh? perth has lower living expenses than melbourne aaah? Maybe you have been to the north only. And the thing about the islamic schools to tell you the truth Somalida magacoodiba meesha ku dhintay. They have no respect in that school beacuse they only take and take, even those that have their fathers working and are able to work. It is haram walaahi, the owner there respects them and they abuse that respect. It is not for free, they took it that way,,,everyone knows somalis do not pay at all.

I dont know about you guys Whats with the making of a picture just for a chnadlier? I found that funny, i have one looking like that in me living room , i think i know what it looks like...i want to see soemthig unique to Bosaaso Lakiin the setting is soooo beautiful, esp the boats i wish i was in one of them so i could go cruising around Xeebta of whole of africa. Thanx Modesty

Mz Lander, I will help jsut lander helped me 1-go to your mailbox 2-click update/edit profile 3-click select a different avatar image 4-go to the bottom where it saids "custom URL" and than copy and paste the following url "http://www.somalilandforum.com/images/0037/image111.gif" 5-press "set URL" (now it should show on display in the upper left hand coner) 6-click select this avitar 7-finally click update profile just follow those simple steps and you will be ready to go posing with that amiable symbol so rich and promising. And give all credit to the borther Lander---i stole it from him and he has helped me in getting me heritage. Ilaahay hanoo barakeeyo, Ameen.

Rahima Right now in my corner of the country it is like 11:30 so iam too tired and weary for a debate,. I don't even remember the things you said so maybe tomorrow morning when i am bright and fresh.(Thank God it is Sunday and i don't have uni). As for now habeen wanaagsan And Sanad Guuro Wacan in S/Land!!!

phanta rehi Nice poem,,,but may Allah give "its inhabitants a mind to prosper". Indent that bit in the poem too. Ameen BOQOQRKA hadaba wax yar Borama noga sheeg and ogeeysiska waad marwalba for the landers here in sol because it is tremendously apprecaited

Rahima, From your response girl i see a very emotional and home loving mel sister. Ok so you reckon iam over exaggerating my statements, but will i be doing so if this has come from people who have lived in melbourne for so long and have had all of thier children thier and are looking for a better future so they don't want to move to syndey since life is too expensive for a somali person. OK the average home rent for a small 2 apratment home within sydneys outer metropolitan areas is like $200 and that is a clean ok aparment in a safety neighbourhood like lakemba which i have been living in since the days! Yes i have met so many people with this problem and are like nagging but just don't know how to get out coz they got themselves into a mortgage but dread for the safety of thier children's future. My very close friend infact is from mel, she was living in flemington..or something like that and although she is home sick and would like to go back for a visit she swears she would never get invovled with somalis because they have no respect or and are mentally abnormal. SOrry for using such terms but i will tell u how,,,she states that she will constantly after coming from school have fights with other somali youngsters who would hasstle for money and even sometimes the older women would get involved as she was not from their tribe. as for the couples divorcing, there isn't figures as high or anywhere near to those of mels and again it is not comming from me, from its inhabitants so don't think iam being picky or making stories. There is a high rate of young single mothers, and i have met one who moved down here a while ago. All my girlfriends who go there for a visit will for sure one way or the other come back witnessing a girl fight (kuu boodis) in a gathering or wedding and they reckon it is normal. They were the only ones worried when they were present, the localz however acted like it was a common event. See i can not practically give you figures because you will not find this on the ABS lol or AINH coz national community or somalis for that matter don't publish certain things, it is just useless and degredating to our integrity. And i cannot tell u the participants because hey i don't want to start fights on sol here, it is our custom us sydney siders to not perform such shamefull acts. There is a gang among the girls who steal the dahab from the women? in the arooses ooohhh shame for our sisters i have heard that one too and many more too much to type. However, i know and iam not ignorant of it that many somalis are entering into Universities and doing much progress and good for them. I applaud and beleive they will have very powerfull figures emerging form these universities and representing thier community all good and well. but these do not outweigh the number of girls and boys with have no higher school certificate, tertiary qualification nor are religious as you quote. And sis what do you mean melbourne is far ahead? Ahead more than sydney? Ok that is a first i will hope you know what you mean. The only reason that ppl from NZ are coming to your state is it is easier to get into and they can afford the cheaper housing and lifestyle mel has to offer. The clothing and other expenses i heard are affordable and it is not fair iam coming to do some bargaining!lol As for that gossip, it has reached mel? that fast, yaa rabi i am close to the girl who this has happened to but hey this was not done by a youth. He was a newcomer from NZ and supposedly a shiekh, and that was probably the most amazing thing that have so far occured. But things like that occur on a daily basis in mel, eg: Women sharing husbands, the man leaves his wife from one apartment and goes to the other women living in the room facing her door. And like they call us in mel, sydney is just too boring for them coz there are tooo many SHIeKHS and wadaadoyin. i hope ou don't find me being baised, because i just think that i would be lieing to you if i agreed with you that mel is more holy and safe than sydney and perth. The proportion of those moving out is just far to great to perth and that just sums it all up.

Amethyst I agree with you on some points but sis wouldn't you love to have an exclusive, hassle free section dedicated only to Female matters rather than the rubbish some of the male superstitious brothers write of somali girls not respecting their culture and religion (supposedly to them). Wouldn't you love a section where the female members have a better knowlegde and understanding of the status and roles and muslim women today in the west without interruption and male disagreements. Ongoing debates and learning as some people feel more comfortable discussing certain issues within thier own female parameters. It is like going to your GP and it is a she, would you in your right mind rather see a male doctar given they both have similar experiences and qualifications?