Nur and his endless questionaires, I will indulge you this time. Alignment of Xaliimo and Faarax's Marriage requirements: 1. First Category: Character Issues a. Please share three most undesirable character traits you will never consider. Dishonesty/ Voilence/Unsupportive of life goals b. Please share three best character traits you are looking in a future hubby or a wifey. Honesty/ Humour/Responsibility c. Please share character traits that you can tolerate. Anything that doesn't annoy/upset me. Second Category: Religious Issues a 1. Most important , desirable, not an issue. Third Category : Social background: a. Does tribal or ethnic background matter in a spouse? Any tribe goes, prefer not my own, the more diverse the better. b. Does social status, Head of Tribe, job ( shoemaker/metalworker/leatherweaver/computer technician or a cab driver, a Warlord, or does wealth and social prestige matter to you in a mate? Yes, he must be respectable in anything he does. c. If all is equal, who do you prefer, western raised spouse, a Somalia-Somaliland-Puntiland-Jubbaland- Kismayoland- Kurtunwarreyland raisaed spouse ? Western raised, or his English must be impeccable/ highly elequent. Fourth Category: Age: 4-10 years max. Choose one below: True, False, sometimes true, sometimes false: a. Maturity comes with age T/F b. A young woman/man is not stable to consider F c. Men are like Cheese, the older they get the better T/F d. Younger men can be trained to be a better husband F e. Age parity (equivalence) is very important in marriage F f. Older women are more satisfying in a relationship WOULDN'T KNOW d. What is the maximum age difference you can tolerate Hint: (Middle Eastern Joke: Very old man marries very young girl, in their wedding night, they were both crying, why? he forgot all about it, and she is too young to figure it out) 10 unless you're Brad Pitt Fifth Category: Marital Status (Monogamous minded Nomads, ommit this section ) Non negotiable, Ever. Sixth. Security Issue Please list three most important issues that you need in a marriage to feel secure: ( Fisrt Hint: e-Nuri Polygamy Insurance Service To be released soon) Integrity/Ambitios/Spontaneous Seventh, Education Background: Women: a. All other factors being equal, Would you consider marrying a lesser educated man or a more educated man or an equally educated man? Equal or higher ( answer may vary depending how in love one is with the guy) b. How mush does intellectual maturity in a man weigh against other romantic attributes for your consideration? Very , very High c. If education is important to you, and you find just the right guy, but without education, would you accept marrying him if he promises to further his education after the wedding/before the wedding as a condition? Maybe, hmmm, I don't know. As for phsyical attributes, I prefer pretty boys, but other traits can make up for this. :rolleyes: Good luck

They have apologised now: http://www.jp.dk/meninger/ncartikel:aid=3527646 but it was a good practice for Muslims to show unity, I mean Muslim populations, now they know what to do next time.

I wonder why you are all so weird... and what it would be like to dance non-stop for 3 hours.

Yes it's true, a friend of mine was diverted as she tried to travel home by hordes of police over the weekend. Apparently it was a revenge attack for another boy's killing. And I'm sure there will be pleanty of CCTV that covered it. Lack of stable families and Lord knows what else is behind this. May Allah have mercy on the deaceased.

I first learned about it a few years ago in my A level Psychology class. I was unfortunate enough to have been depressed in the past, but nothing major. It helps if you know the signs, so you can work on changing the situation before it gets too bad. Sometimes its just winter blues, or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), common in winter, because of lack of natuarl sun light. I think it helps if you have someone trustworthy to talk with, or if you cant maybe your GP can refer you to someone, and it doesn't have to be a psychiatrist unless it is quiet serious clinical depression. There different forms and different levels to depression. From feeling blue, to being so depressed you cannot get out of bed or you simply loose the will to carry on living. It doesn't mean you are ungrateful, you can be depressed and have everything. That's where the shame comes in, why should you be depressed when there is no 'reason' for you to be. I think it is sad how depression is downplayed, and it IS still a big taboo in our culture.

Sounds terribly painful, I once had my eyebrows threaded, and had to stop half way. Thank God for my mothers genes.

Yes I am, just checking. Uma, you could continue to post mindlessly, Or you could just take it easy and sit back and watch the intellectual frauds huff and buff.

I've been here for ages, I should be a Nomad by now?

'The only thing they good at is talk behind you like he wasn't the a sharmut.' Girl you had me falling of my chair, thats so funny. I think for a guy to pretend to be a certain way to 'attract' a girl to be with him, eg. 'romantic' is so shallow. If it's not in him and he has to go out of his way, it doesn't mean sh*t. Either way, romance is overated, How many of us wouldn't gag at the cliched presentation of choclates/red roses? That's not romantic, its following other ppl's ideas of what romantic is.

Arabs and Muslims have become the new blacks, its always someone.

I was sickened watching it on BBC news. They call Muslims voilent and uncivilized, nice example they are giving. I just worry for all the Muslims in Australia and other western countries.Many are comparing it to 1930s Berlin. It won't be long before this type of behaviour spreads. There is no justice in this world anymore where people get bombed and get life imprisonments for being terror suspects, those who abuse prisoners get 6 months and the bombing of innocents continues. I wonder what causes terrorism.

The issue here is not social responsibilty or promoting promescuity. It's about the so called plan B, does it constitute abortion or not? No, because it takes longer than 72 hrs for a baby to be created, so it's nothing more in comparision with condoms and pills.

Nur, I know this topic is for men and I'm not going to bother belittering it BUT, we all know men look, as do women, because we are not angels nor prophets but humans and we refuse to walk around constantly in fear of the next sin, that is what prayer and forgiveness is for. Men are meant to lower their gazes, even if a woman is running around naked why even look up? Your face should be glued to the pavement/floor. If its hard, tough luck.

Look, for the millionth time, women are not disputing that marrying 4 wifes is allowed for a man, they just don't want to be forced into a situation whereby they have to share a husband, when they have always stated, no shouted their protest. It's simply not fair. Nur, my advice to this brother would be to really think about his feelings for wife and his GF. If he loves his girlfriend and wants to marry her, his wife cannot continue to live with him and his GF would not accept it, thus he cannot pls everyone and he will burn in the middle. For this reason, Allah has made divorce halal if parties cannot live together. Thank God we are not Catholics, so lets not behave this way. Divorce is not to be taken easy but eventaully the parties involved and the chidren will get past it. Maybe the wife can find herself another guy she can grow old with. For any woman to chase a married man, is beyond me.

Personally, I always used to ride a bike, I still do in the summer, but it rains so much here so it's not an attractive option. Generally, even women of other cultures don't ride bike as much, its just not a grily/womeni thing? Unless you are in holland or the Scandanavian countries, I saw a few Somalis, both men and women in Sweden riding bikes. Idinka, you have become too obsessed with womens rights and Islam, tv must be getting to you guys, no? Lets debate everything under the sun and decide whether a woman is allowed to do it or not. Whatever happened to common sense?

Well, its already available here in the uk over the counter and has been for some time. You don't even need a doctor's prescription I think. It's called Lovenelle or something. They adveritsie it to death on the tube this time of year, with drinking and Xmas. And I don't think its unislamic, what proceeds it must be though if one is that desperate to get rid of the potential pregnancy.

Walalayal, first of all, trust lost can never be detailed in a contract. To break a promise islamically isnt talking about something written down, its the spoken words too. No contract reduces the betreyal. Forget divorce at the end of the day, no one can force you to be with someone you do not wish to be. So no, I wouldn't bother with a contcat, if he doesn't respect my words then there really is nothing left. The trust between two ppl is sacred.

Ok relax Yonis, we all get stressed in london, chin up, what else can I say? This city is seriously overcrowded...

Viking, you said Somali parents don't expect their kids to become sexually active, Times have changed and the old way they were raised is not sufficient any longer. Surely children should be teached by their parents the rules and morality of sex rather than just what is teached at school? They don't need their parents for that, biology teacher tells them all about reproduction, STD, contraception and so forth. Again and again, ther is more concern with reputation, family name, honour, 'ruined' life. Jahil solution for Jahil ppl.

First of all, everyone is entitled to their views/ideas. But however, if the most educated and religiously inclined voices such as Nur are advocating FGM as a solution, we really have no hope for the future. I have not been this dissapointed in a long time. First of all, does anyone have an exact statistic about this abortion issue? Or is it just more mass moral hysteria? Secondly, I think possessing a clit is probably the last reason why girls would be promiscious. Look around at the Asian/Arab and other muslim communities, you don't see them practising such cruel methods. How many somali parents discuss sex with their children? It's shued away as 'ceeb'. Parents are more concerned with their reputation than with their children's well being. Until men start taking responsibility for their families, instead of being wasted 24/7 we will see more abortions. Until mothers spend quality time with their girls and show them and teach them self value, rather than screaming at them to clean the house or feed 9 kids then perhaps we may be getting somewhere. I BLAME THe PARENTS because all the so called wayward teens could not have been programmed to be the way they are, they are a product of their environment. Look at middle classed children, sure they have those who drop out of the face of the earth, but most of them suceed. Nur, go preach to the parents to discuss sex with their children. Thank God we have a host of educated strong somali women coming up to drown out ignorant voices such as the ones whose views are dressed up as logical.

Well, feeding your child & clothing them is simply not enough anymore. I know its all in Allah's hands, but having 10 kids doesn't help either, each child needs more than food and a bed to sleep in. Instead of causing mass hysteria we would be better off to pray for our sisters and brothers, especailly this month.

I wonder if those of you who equate virginity with an intact hymen know about surgeries that restructure hymens to make it appear like nothing has gone amiss exist? So if one has this type of surgery, common in egypt, turkey and in europe, does that mean they are litearlly born again virgins? How can they be the same? So you see the two can not be equated. We all know what vriginity means, and its more than biology. As for men, your word should be enough.

I think it's tiresome to debate the existence of God, as there can only be two endless debates. Having said that no one can be blind in faith, you must question and understand what you believe in, otherwise you would be a believer only in word. I think everyone goes through a period of investigation, normally late teens early twenties. I thought I was a non-believer for a while, but the was before I read up and reseached what I was being told all my life. Luckily my parents were easy going, I remember being quiet shocked when my father told me it was 'natural' to question things and find out about them. Alhamdulliah, I feel like I have reached a stage in my life when I can with absolute certainty believe and FEEL the existence of God Almighty, even if I wanted to ignore him I couldn't. I should also like to remind people that there is a difference between religion (practical side) and faith (feeling & certainty) the way I see it. I think you can pray for anything, even to increase one's faith, I know that is self defeating if you don't believe, but maybe its just a test your humility. Faith that cannot withstand doubt is no faith at all. The problem with a lot of young Somali muslims is that their faith is based on hear-say and word by mouth. Having said that, I see an equal amount of seriously religious youngesters who know more than their parents ever did. Salams.

clearly you are all in love with your own avatars. mine is my fav flower, cala lillies representing sensuality and refinement.

you can also watch it live on www.islamchannel.tv at 6:30 pm british time.