Originally posted by Johhny B: SSuji ..hold on there music boy! What does Grammar have to do about getting chicks? drivin around a pick up won´t get ya chicks , unless u r out pickin homeless :cool: . What am i going to do with Chicks? i am not a fan of KFC especially after i have seen how they treat chickens...i love women more than you love chicks especially homeless chicks because you never know what kind of disease they might be carrying...does the word Chickenpox ring any bell for you mate? now you know why i prefer Women rather than Chicks. Want to Smoke pure Mzansi?

1-If the Internet is the information superhighway then where are the patrol cars? 2-if you wore two pairs of 3-D glasses at the same time would you be able to see in 6-D? 3-Why do you always get a shock when you see somebody you know on Tv? 4-If a journey of hundred miles starts with one step,does a journey of 50 miles start with a half step? 5-Did man invent languages to satisfy his deep need to complain? 6-Why do all the perfect drivers always seem to be in the backseat? 7-Why do we always ask "is life worth living"? why don't we ever ask "is death worth dying"? 8-Why do people who know the least always shout the loudest? 9-Why is it that most women's problems start with Men?MENestration,MENopause and MENtal anguish? 10-Why do people say "It is Dog eat Dog World"? Dogs do not eat other Dogs but Humans eat other Humans.

is it True that the Closest to perfection a person ever comes is when they fill out a job application?

What is the difference between In-Laws and Outlaws? the Outlaws are Wanted. What do you call a woman who knows where her Husband is everynight? A Widow. The Three fastest means of Communication: Telephone,Television and Tell-a-Woman.

Why do Cambaros like lightning? because they think someone is taking their picture. Why did Cambaro try to jack the Police car?she saw 911 on the rear and she thought it was a Porsche. Why do Cambaros have TGIF on their new Dirac? TITS GO IN FRONT. any Cambaro out there thinking the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming little too high. How do you make a Cambaro and Xalimo remain faithful to you? let me know the day you find one.

a Woman worries about the future until she gets a husband,a man never worries about the future until the day he gets a wife. My neighbour's wife ran after the garbage truck yelling...am i too late for the Garbage? the driver replied "No Jump in"! Why do Farts stink? because the deaf people can enjoy them too. Why do Cambaros have more fun than Xalimos? they are easier to amuse. How can you tell if your Girldfriend is a fan of bedroom sport?stick your hands down her pants and it will feel like you are feeding a horse.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a Black baby? they named him SUM TING WONG. Why do men pass gas more than women do? because women would not shut up long enough to build up pressure. Why did Cambaro throw the butter out of the window? because she wanted to see a Butterfly. How did Cambaro try to kill the bird? She threw it off the cliff. Ciise:You Know Cambaro our Son got his brains from me? Cambaro:I think he did,because i still got mine with me. How did Cambaro die drinking Milk? because the Cow sat on her face.

You came,saw and conquered some would say otherwise but i would say you dominated and ruled and you took boxing into another level you reduced too many grown men into hysterical and sobbing babies you made too many fathers,husbands and boyfriends wish they were never born you have shown us that you don't neccessarily have to be born with silver spoon or be a politician or Harvard and Oxford graduate to be a powerful individual all you needed to be was Mike "Iron" Tyson I took boxing to the heart because the only time i have ever felt free and invincible is when i am in that ring just like you always said Champ you ruled the world with your iron fists your fists of fury which many men all around the world came to fear from you deserved better than James Dauglas's fluke of the century bout and Evander Holyfield's cowardice tactics Lennox Lewis's halloween party gone wrong and definitely you deserved better than William's "Oh No" horror flick. They say what is in the beginning will also be in the end...Oooohhh how i wish you met all these pretenders in the beginning rather in the end Last night,i am afraid i witnessed what i have always wished never to see which is the day i will finally stop watching boxing because for me and everybody that i know are Mike "Iron" Tyson' fans more than boxing fans..but again howmany people would disagree with me? I wish i could pay off your $38 million debt even when i know you blew your $400 million with Coke,Booze,Cars,Bling Bling and Honeyz but isn't that what any red blooded male a hetro male that is would do with easy money? I for one certainly would..... maybe minus the Coke and the Booze but who ever thought a kid from Brooklyn would be this much larger than life character? so put the Coke and the Booze on my tap after all i am from Garissa and you can say it's Kenya's own Brooklyn. I wish i was there the night Miss Washington accused you of rape so that i could testify that the undisputed heavy weight champion of the whole bloody world is no rapist, Champ,i wish somany things right now but above all i wish you became a devout Muslim and learned more about Islam as i am sure it would have saved you from all the heartbreaks and misery that you went through but above all it would have prevented all the people that wrote poems,books headlines,movie scripts about you yesterday from laughing and making fun of you today like you are a desperate Clown in a Circus show MIKE "IRON" TYSON...I Salute you and nomatter what you will always be my one and only CHAMP. Peace.

I must have wrote this when i was high with Marqaan. A woman needs love just like you do Don't kid yourself into thinking that she don't need nothing She can fool around just like you do ,unless you give her all the loving she wants from you Don't make the mistake of thinking old fashioned ways because my brothers Times have changed from yesterday But no longer will those old double standards be accepted by the women of today so when you think you are fooling her She just might be fooling you Remember if you could do it She can too so whats is it going to be? a woman needs love just like you do When her eyes are begging for affection Don't put her off don't make her wait Don't try to give her that worn out excuse about being tired and working late hours I tell you one day you'll come home Early from work,Open up the door and get your feelings hurt Because she needs it,aha..yeah A woman has got to have it yeah, just like you and if you're smart you better stop fooling around and want to come clean because she will too and you will be hurting Now an example to you you better get your game straight or you will end up lonely and die alone they say a dog is man's best friend and i say that is a lie because a dog cant give you the good and sweet loving that a woman can give you the loyal companion that a woman can be to you the teacher and nurse that a woman is to you the lover and wife that a woman is to you so brothers start acting up before its too late because your woman deserves better than your cheap games that you playing on her and i say lets get them into an empty corner and whisper into their cute ears and say I LOVE YOU BABY GIRL.

This is dedicated to all the late Mothers of the Brothers and Sisters in this forum, i pray to Allah that he might reward them with Jannah.Aameen.Aameen.Aameen. To the the Greatest Mom in my World.. I haven't cried since I found out you had died That was the last time burning tears fell from my eyes Took me by suprise never thought you'd leave I miss you MOM..I do... like a lung you helped me breathe and I pray that you are in heaven You were there for me since the beginning of me My heart is torn with pain but I'm still here,alive I dont see you no more but memories survive Your health nose-dived so now you dont suffer You were my heart beat there wont be no other Now all I got is Dad and my brothers and sisters they are the world to me I Love them so much..... in life's twists and turns I'm under cloudy skies But it's OK, So in my pain I expose my heart and my soul I know you're proud of me as I chase my personal goals The blackholes in society are trying to suck me in but you taught me to see who is real friend and foe from deep under my skin All my Love for you come out from underneath my flesh It must be all my fears which are being addressed because since your death my life has not been the same Now I got nothin to lose... but everythin to gain I miss the unique way you used to smile Before you went away Now its hard because you are not here anylonger To lead me the right way I miss the way you used to laugh at something i would say It makes me sad to look at Dad Cry his tears away So now your'e gone I am all alone and lonely In this big old empty world But its ok and i will be ok because God willin' someday i will see you in that special place. May Allah Have Mercy On Your Soul...... I Miss You Mom and I Will Always LOVE YOU....!

if you need to pick up a girl,it is more appropriate to use a pick up track...that is what i always do and that tactic has never failed me after all she would get mad if i said... 1-Do you work for UPS?I could have sworn i saw you checking out my package. 2-Have you ever been to Hunting before?well then how about you come to my cabin with me this weekend and i can teach you how to stuff a beaver? 3-I think i could fall madly in bed with you. 4-Roses are Black,Violets are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed? 5-is there an Airport nearby or is it that just my Heart is taking off? Honestly..you can't say that to a Somali girl unless she is really really slow in the head or she just came from Somalia and doesn't understand one word of English because your rear end is either going to get Dacas whipped or she will realize that you are one bloody Childish horny house n!gger. I will be in Rasta's Kiosk at fourth St in Eastleigh chewing the night away incase if you may need me.

1-When you go into a hotel you always see Reception,why do you never see ception? 2-If you are not tired how can you be retired? 3-Why do people think british safety standards are so good when Titanic was made to british safety standards? 4-if your wife left you for another woman,should you hold the door open for both of them? 5-are cows always in fashion because they are always wearing leather? 6-What exactly is "midair",is there some other part of air besides the "mid' part? 7-Some Tv commercials tell us to not try it at home,where else are we supposed to try it?at school or at work or at the public bathrooms? 8-is the real purpose of the Olympics just to let us know about all the countries in the world that we have never heard about before? 9-Does it take two half-sales to make a Wholesaler? 10-If a comedian does a gig at an old peoples's home,how does he know if he is any good? after all they just piss on themselves anyway? 11-If Mike Tyson bit his wife's ear when he is making Love to her,would it be a foul play or a sacrament? 12-If Maxwell House coffee is good to the last drop,then what is wrong with the last drop? 13-When a female lawyer loses her briefs,is she a solicitor? 14-Just what was it on the other side of the road that made the Chicken want to cross it? 15-If the pen is mightier than the sword and a picture is worth a thousand words then how dangerous is a Fax? 16-If Madness takes it is Toll,do you need an exact change? 17-What is the difference between retired and unemployed? 18-If you call the Paper to put an Ad in,should you not tell them about it because it is Classified? 19-at the Movies,why is it that during all Police investigations it is neccessary to visit a strip joint atleast Once? 20-Would living in a Nudist colony take all the fun out of Halloween? 21-Is the best way to keep death off of the roads to drive on the pavements? 22-If people who shun meat are Vegeterians,are Cannibals then considered to be Humanitarians? 23-If i save the Whales,where do i keep them? 24-Why is it when you have less Jaad "Khaad" you always get the best Marqaan. 25-Why should we ever pay attention to what the bloody critics say?after all,have any statues ever been erected to honour a bloody critic? that is all i got now my dear friends and foes but if you want me to give you a clue then read the question below carefully and you will find all the answers to the above questions then you can mock the senses out of your Daddy. Q-Why do Blonds smile everytime they see a Lightning? A-Because they think their picture is been taken. Ya Mampela.

Originally posted by juxa: sa wr wb, somalsijui, bro sofar all i can offer u is instant fame, iam sure that will sit well with u. the rest will follow so i ask yr patience Fame?Mmmmhhhhhh! I am already famous especially around those comrades that i have been chewing with my fresh Kangeta for the past 6 years but what i haven't experienced yet is being FILTHY RICH...so can you make me rich?

A slip of the foot you may soon recover but slip of the tongue you may never recover.By Jug Soodhacay.

Ok..you are in Eastleigh and at Garissa Lodge right? i want you to do me a favour here please..go to 4th St and ask for somebody by the name of Rasta and then tell him to give you my fresh 5kg of Kangeta that he promised me and please while you are at it buy me 2 packs of fegi Sportsman..i will pay you back when you come back.

Nin Is Faanshay Waa Lax is Nuugtay. i learned that from a wise somali old timer and it made such an impression on me that i never forgot it because unfortunately somali folks wont just let me. meet me at Rasta's Kiosk on 4th st in Eastleigh. haaheey.

Pick pocketing is such an art that one would need to spend a lifetime to completely master the technique and you can say i became a pick pocketer by chance after i saw my favourite teacher in primary school nicking the chapa bag of the Principal Lady and since that teacher was my idol i thought to myself..if he could do it so am i and as they say the rest is history.

Originally posted by juxa: sa wr wb, anyone who has something worthwile to tell, I don't mind helping you with your project but it will cost you and if you are willing to foot the bill then i am the man that you should give a buzz or should i say $. Peace.Salam.Nabad.Salama.Huo Ting.Simunye.

Originally posted by STOIC: iam somali born in kenya and i can trace back my geneology back to the last "othey" FYI.I don't have to proof to any one who iam? my somaliness is engraved in my heart. My Man...no one can ever deny your rights and being somali is your god given rights as it is he who made you Somali. don't ever let anybody else tell you otherwise because they might think they know but they have no idea. I leave you in Peace Ndugu.

There was a time in my mind where I was an innocent Where my my mind wasn't corrupted where I was an innocent little child I desperately search for that time trying to ease all the pain from my mind trying to tell myself that the world was once a kind but the truth is that I am destined to lose trying to stop myself from lighting my own fuse self destruction is my best pal because when they see me lying bruised kids find it fun to mock like they were a jock put me on the spot the only escape is for me to lay still its an option that i will rather take like I was made from a stone and though I may fail through out my life I will always remember who i am so I can be the true master of my destiny and if I fail..dust myself off and try it again It's an escape at the end of the day Would you rather give up or find that warrior in you? for the sake of your mind, for your intelligence? or like me, lost of your innocence? so forever I will believe, till the end of my days and even after death I will still belive...always.

i am SOMALI by the grace of God. i am Somali because of my parents. i am SOMALI because of the blood in my veins and i don't need no piece of paper nor the tribe name that i inherited from my father to prove that because i am my own man. i am SOMALI because i am willing to pay 100 camels as a dowry just to marry your younger sister . i am SOMALI because i let you visit me in the middle of the night and still be noble enough to let you sleep in my bed while i sleep on the couch. i am SOMALI because i consider your younger sister to be worthy of all the camels that i have paid for her because she is a HORSE . i am SOMALI because i got a scar on my forehead "DAQAR" and another one on my shin bone "JOQOFEEY" . i am SOMALI because i know what X.H.K.S stands for and i can sing "Guulwadoow Siyaad" . i am SOMALI because i grab my crotch whenever i feel like even when i am at down town . i am SOMALI because i dramatize everything i do even when i am asking my friend some change by pulling him into a corner like i was telling him the most secretive piece of story in the whole world. i am SOMALI because i don't mind you waking me up in the middle of the night and ask me if you could borrow a sugar from me or if i got a cigarette or a lighter . i am SOMALI because my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather was a SOMALI .

If I were to lose you I would cry a thousand times and mourn for the rest of my days I would never love another soul as long as I live I would sit and think of us and wish i was dead.. The loneliness would kill me from the inside out Stress my mind until I'd raise the knife and end it all The lonely nights would be too much to bare... No more kisses,hugs or seeing your smile... I will miss your pretty eyes and feel depressed at your sight It's like I'm lost in the night and you alone are my light I would sit alone in the dark without anybody seeing me and mourn and cry alone It should never end at all because we need each other so badly and we deserve to have each other as we are meant to be a husband and wife Love is at the core... so What is with all the doubt for? Don't mind my state Honey I'm not afraid to state my mind but I do love your pretty smile and damn.. I miss those times Those beautiful days that even the clouds would grin and your fellow Angels would smile down on us from the sky Days I want to live.. I can't even count how long its been I would grieve and never cease to sorrow Drowning in never kissing you tommorow So everynight I pray that together we'll stay for the rest of our lives..Sweetness because I would die If I were to lose you one day so Baby..please believe me in me just asmuch as i believe in you and continue to love me with all your pure heart just like i do and soon we will enjoy the fruits of our young hearts's labour. I LOVE YOU.

Her Everlasting beauty.... Incomparable feelings that thrive with passion for you you fill my empty spaces of my mind with happiness Every glance I take at you brightens my days with pure joy you're everything that i've ever wanted but also for how you make me feel Every thought that flows through your mind every breath of air you take it is unexplainable beauty. Letters of love I send her through my heart and soul and I try to express my deepest emotions for her but the feelings which walk inside me are toomuch to fit on a piece of paper a pen cannot describe the expression of my emotions and love for her She is everything and all I live for I regret every second I do not spend with her for a second with my beloved is like a lifetime of happiness to me that magical smile of hers that she shows Oh how lovely its to stare at you Sweetness it cannot be disrupted by others thoughts or opinions dont matter For I love her...who can ever understand my real feelings? I will always love her..nomatter what her love will always stay with me forever and wherever I journey she will be in my thoughts I love her and the joy she brings makes living all worth while Know this is my love..I LOVE YOU I say it everyday to your pretty face and it is true my Sweet Angel My senses sing when I see your beautiful face. Your presence fills me with an everlasting grace This is YOU beloved.. This is my LOVE... This is my Prayers ANGEL.

I sit alone in the dark with nothing but my thoughts in my mind I plot and plan creating tales of whales and sharks I have written about every subject I could possibly think of and about eyes being able to blink love The emotions of the man in me is crucial to my sanity I'm done with this dream and ofcourse I'd gladly leave this earth and depart from this world I've wrote down all the heart ache of the past years of my young life from my first and only love to my ever lasting tears I have cried from a pure emotion that my mind recorded in my memory box and kept writing with broken pen while my dreams never materialised you could know me better than my own mother If you would read my poetry book of how much I love my beloved from deciding between an open mind or broken heart then to an early grave and writing about things to start when I'd be torn apart in million pieces I could still hold the sword and make you just wonder..Why? still leave you wandering around in my soul and asking yourself "how can a man love a woman this much?" I must hug her, hold her in my nurturing arms and in my soul forever but now the feeling's too clever and at times its too severe She is my heart, my soul and above all my life...Ooohhh but from the inside out eternally she is killing me she holds my life in her cute hands and me being and remaining alive depends on the decisions she makes but she lets me breathe and it becomes fun to carry on living while my heart remains hers forever fun to dream and be free from all the stress of reality these tears from my lonely heart forever blesses my mentality I never became legendary because of the sins I carry my heart will always be hers as long as it beats..for I LOVE HER I can change from time to time as a man trying to make ends meet but the love i have for her is as strong as my faith as i have never loved this much and never ever shall i love because the only heart that i have ever had is truly hers forever and if i were to live my life without her then i don't want to live no more and i pray that almighty grants my wish because with the last ounce of strength left in my love ridden heart and mind I write a love peom for you my Beloved. I LOVE YOU.

i didn't say you are but your name does.