A woman is a person to marvel at. Such beauty, inside and out. More precious than any stone. Worth more than anything in this world. Simply put a PRICELESS. and to be with a woman is a great privilege. That I take, with the utmost respect and passion. When I say she is mine, I correct myself. She isn't mine, a woman is not a property. She has a life, a soul, and a heart. She has a personality and emotions. She can never be owned or controlled. Her life is her own freewill. She makes her decisions and sets her own course. Sails in a new direction when her feelings change. She is her own boss, her means of succeeding in life. I cherish her with all my heart and soul. She is a woman, and underneath much much more. I speak this true to every girl who's been hurt. When times get tough I ask to see one thing. For you to keep your head high and walk proud. This valley may be deep but you are strong. You are a woman and I see what you have to offer. I see your true qualities and not just your body. Your eyes pretty and shining and your smile bright. You are a woman and a Queen to me.. And I hand this heart of mine over to you Because I LOVE YOU with all my Heart. May Allah keep you in Health and in safe For you are the Love of my Life. Happy Women's Day To All My Somali Sisters Across The Globe..May Peace Be With You Wherever You Are.

Part three: Tommy’s own words: For the first couple of trips I couldn’t make any break through and every time I thought I was making a progress I would reach a dead end but I never expected it to be any easier so at least I was prepared. One rainy September afternoon I was given a phone number and name and I was told that he used to be one of my father’s childhood friends, his name was Bra Steve and he owned a nightclub in down town. I didn’t want to get excited and raise my expectations just encase he didn’t have nothing much to share with me other than their childhood which, with all due respect I had no interest in so I decided to call him before I got there and by the time we finished talking it was clear this man knew my own father more than me, his own flesh and blood but there was no time to b!tch about that so I told my driver to drive me to the nightclub and when I got there he was already waiting for me at the door and he seemed pleased to see me. He told me how close he was to my father and he was even there the day he married my Mother and then suddenly he dropped the bomb and for the first time in my life I wished I was never born because he told me that my father had so many lovers and there is every chance that I might have many more brothers and sisters that live somewhere in this country. For once I prayed that he didn’t say what I thought he just said and I even felt like running away but I was never a man who ran away from his responsibility and even if I did what am I going to tell my sister Cindy who I knew was waiting for me to return later that evening but with all these confusion there was still a light at the end of the tunnel because Cindy, my sister, no more my lover’s friend was a bright young lady and deep down inside I could feel my excitement building because I was so happy that she was my sister and I couldn’t wait to share the good news with her. Only if I knew what lay ahead and the heartbreak that was waiting for me. More to come later.

Part two: She went over to his house but he was already gone to a job interview that he had so she decided to talk to her best friend about it and see if she could do anything to help. Her friend told her that she and Tommy had a date tonight and he will come and pick her up so she should stick around until he comes and she agreed. The clock was 19:30 pm when he finally came and as expected he came inside and said and done whatever he had to do and after that he said Hi to his girlfriend's best friend and then he told his girl that he got it, first she wasn't too sure if she heard him correctly then he stood up and opened up his arms as wide as they could go suggesting that she should give him a big hug and congratulate him by finally getting that job he has been looking for the past 8 months. Her friend remembered what they talked about earlier in the day and she finally broke the news to him and said, "Honey. My friend here has something to ask you and we have been talking about it the whole day so please listen to her" I asked him all that I needed to ask him and I am sorry that I ruined their dinner plan and celebration but that night I went to bed knowing that I did what every human in my position would have done and even though he was in no position to answer all my questions, yet at least he has shown me that he was interested in helping me and help himself along the way. Tommy phoned me few days later and he told me that he asked around and he even called some relatives of his Mom's side that he has never spoken to and asked few questions but unfortunately they know nothing about my Dad so don't give up and don't worry I wont rest until I make sure every stone is turned, he assured me. Tommy knew his dad was from another province and he also knew if ever needed to find his dad's family he had to travel and go to that province and ask around so the only time he was free was at the weekends and he talked to his Girl and asked her to be patient with him and forgive him as he wont be able to spend much time with her as much as he used to before because he will be away looking for some family members that he never knew he had.

A roman girl asks an Egyptian boy "what can you do for me?" the boy replies, "come behind the pyramid and I shall make you a Mummy." What did cambaro say when asked "ever been picked up by a fuzz?" "No but I have been swung around by the tits" What do you do with 365 used rubbers? Melt them down, make a tire and call it a Goodyear. Aussie Kiss: similar to French kiss but given Down Under.

What did Clinton say when asked if he had used a protection? Sure, there was a guard standing right outside the door. What does a Viagra have in common with Disneyland? One-hour wait and two minute ride. What is the difference between Cambaro and Titanic? You know how many men went down on Titanic. What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through such a tiny thing? Why air is lot like sex? It is no big deal unless you are not getting any.

What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you are screwed. A couple in the living room making love. He says "You are dry tonight, honey" she replies, "You are licking the rug, honey" A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine. What happens when a whorehouse catches fire? Some come out running and some run out coming.

What is the difference between a postage stamp and a girl? One is a mail fee and the other is female. Why did Cambaro have a lipstick on her steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn. Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? So the sheep wont hear the zip. What is the similarity between the pizza delivery boy and gynaecologist? They both can smell it but cannot have it. Men who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. Japanese say.

Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your groin unprotected. What is the biggest crime committed by transvestites? Male fraud. What is the similarity between walking on the edge of Mount Everest and getting head from an 85-year-old woman? Whatever you do, don't look down. Why did Cambaro call the welfare office? She wanted to know how to cook food stamps. Who makes more money between a hooker and a drug dealer? The hooker, because she can clean her crack and re-use it, a drug dealer can't.

BY: Abdirahim Mohammed Gure A Somali Student Living in R.S.A When I entered the family meeting place, I saw him sitting there, relaxed and blowing a smoke as the gold ring in his finger spoke silently of his new found wealth, he was wearing a silk shirt and bright, sparkling shoes. I had not met him before and I was curious to know If he was one of the warlords who made their wealth from killing innocent people or corruption. I did not wish to judge,so i decided to listen and try to understand whatever he had to say. I heard him talking about our beloved country Somalia and how he invests thousands of dollars in it because he loves it dearly. I understood that all his family lived comfortably abroad and he frequently visited his wife and children in their safe mansion at one of western countries' big city suburbs, he drew my attention when he said, "all of the country is wrecked and everyone in it is a thief". I did not intend to enter into discussion about such a slogan that is becoming common these days amongst the bloodthirsty criminals when asked by one of the men "What about the poor civilians the defenceless women and children, are they thieves too?" He straightened up like he was expecting the question, then he said as he gave me a glare "I spent lots of my own money on the poor but these "warlords" didn't approve my charity work because they said it exceeded the legal permitted limit so instead they wanted me to contribute to their good cause so I believe I have done my best so far for the poor people of our country." I asked myself if you got money does it give you the right to manipulate and jeopardise poor people's lives? He paused as he took a puff off his cigarette "it's impossible for people to live peacefully when there thousands of irresponsible young men with guns preying on the poor and the powerless civilians in our country". I asked him naively "what are you going to do about that, sir?" He said "to spend more money to ensure there wont be no more thugs on our streets terrorising us and our children, then he shouted, addressing the crowd, do you think we live better than those that still remain in Somalia? We are the ones who are struggling for their living, we come back home with intentions to invest our hard earned cash in our country then the same people that we came back to rescue end up killing our desires and our souls and our spirits and sometimes even murder us. I said quietly "but who keeps funding these heartless thugs?" he looked confused and bit irritated I must say, "funds? What funds are you talking about, I know there are some people who fund these crooks and cold blood killers but I am sorry, I am not one of them" then giggling out loud he said "don't worry about me my dear friend, I am not part of the disease but the cure" Just like that Sir? I asked then he replied smiling " I am not here to increase the merciless murderers on the loose but to decrease that is my goal, don't worry my friend, we know how things are done in this wrecked country" I said repeating "this wrecked country?" he answered "this country needs police, a very strict and honest police to restore peace and order" I couldn't help but think back what he said few minutes earlier and realized what he was suggesting was more fire power but hang on a minute, I thought he was a businessman who was here to help rebuild his country and who also few minutes earlier told us that he was not here to increase the murder rate but to decrease it. Don't you think someone will still die perhaps unnecessary death either in the hands of the police or these so-called murderers?" I asked. He arrogantly laughed and said "what are you saying my brother? You seem to be living in a different world". I could not with hold myself from asking, "If all this was done for the love of a country, what would you have done if you hated it?" This is a small scene reflecting the bigger picture of the Somali people's failure to show real passion, commitment and patriotism towards their own country and people and above all they don't have a unified vision of the welfare of the country and it's people and it hurts me even deeper to witness how we keep on destroying our country and it is a question worth asking "how long will it take us to see that if we don't stop destroying the land immediately there wont be a place to call home which we can all live in peace and harmony" It is about time our people stopped killing each other and acknowledged that it is each and everyone's fault our beloved country is a mess today or should i say a "Wrecked" we should remember that this is indeed our own country and it is each and every one of us' responsibility to always put our country before our ridiculous and silly arguments and let us all pray to Allah and ask him for forgiveness. May God Bless Somalia and Somali People. NOTE: This article is not about any particular warlord that he met but it is very much about his own opinion and how some people take advantage of the other poor and innocent Somali people living in Somalia.

Why is the police nicknamed the "Heart" of the country? it beats and beats and beats. When a man talks nasty to a woman they say it is Sexual harassment but when a woman talks nasty to a man they say it is romantic :eek: How did Cambaro wreck the helicopter? she got cold and turned off the fan. if you jogged backwards would you gain a weight?

What is a man's idea of helping with the house work?lifting his legs up so that his wife can vacuum. Man:Doctor,Doctor,Doctor..you have to help me...i just can't stop my hands shaking. Doctor:do you drink a lot? Man:I wish...i keep spilling most of my drink because my hands wouldn't stop shaking. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve months telling them to sit down and shut up.

What is the closest thing to a woman's period? your salary..it comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days and if it doesnt come you are fuc'ed! How do you teach a girl a maths? add a bed,substract her clothes,divide her legs,enter your square root,leave your solution and hope she doesnt multiply. Dialogue between a teenager and parent, i am off to a party,"Well,have a good time" "Look Dad dont tell me what to do". What is a kiss? its an upper preparation for a lower invasion that will lead to further penetration with fast accelaration that will build next generation. Latest statistics: what do men do after sex? 2% eat 3% smoke 4% take shower 5% go to sleep 86% get up and go back to their wives. Why a Penis is better than a credit card: A-Once spent recharges itself. B-it is accepted worldwide. C-you can let your girl or wife use it as much as she wants. Little Girl: Mommy,i just found out that our neighbour's son has a penis like a peanut. Mom:you mean its Small? Little Girl: No,it tastes salty. A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing,he was happy with the Hole and she was happy wit the Thing.

A farmer oreders a milking machine, tries it on his penis and has a wonderful orgasm but cant remove it he reads the manual and faints because it says "Auto Release After 2 litres" Men love war because it makes them look serious and its the only thing that make women stop laughing at them.LooooooooL. Kissing a lady's forehead is respect. Kissing her lips is Love. Kissing her breasts is loyalty. Kissing her tummy is heroism. Kissing her pu$$y is patriotism. Kissing her a$$hole is the greatest act of bravery. Sex is like Nokia connecting people like Nike just do it like Pepsi ask for more Like Coca cola Enjoy,life tastes good. A guy goes upto a girl in a Aroos party and says, you want to play magic Sweetheart?she says what is that? he replies "we go home and have sex and then you disappear"

I want you to know that our friendship means a lot to me,you cry and i cry, you laugh and i laugh,you jump out of the windown, i look down and laugh again. Bush got a coded message from Osama Bin Laden it read 370hssv-0773h,Bush was stumped,he called the CIA and they cracked the code by reading it upside down.(if you still didn't get it then i should get my big hammer and hit you with it on the head) A Balck man and White woman meet in a nightclub, she takes him home and says "Tie me up and do what you Blacks do best" he ran off wit her TV and VCR. A Chinese Sunday Buffet Menu: Chu Sum Twat Suc Mi Pork Lic Mi Clit Tung Sum Chick Fuc Sum Cow Gulp Sum Cum Cho Kon It Cream Of Sumyung Guy Enjoy Your Meal Ladies and Gentlemen. Women's top 7 lies. I Love You. I am Virgin. I hate sex. You're the 1st one to touch me. I hate sucking. Oooh,it's so big. Ok,only this once.

An old lady of 85 and virgin about to die wanted her tombstone to read..Born a virgin,lived a virgin.died virgin..the engraver shortened it to "Returned Unopened" Whats rough and hairy on the outside, soft and wet in the inside..starts wit C..ends with T and has and U and a N in it? Dirty minds...answer is Coconut..what is the matter with you? I have a confession to make,ever since i've known you, its kind of hard for me to forget you everynight you appear in my dreams and i find myself shouting..Ghost..Ghost..Ghost. A Sand N!gger..Ooops i meant an Arab interviewed at U.S Immigaration. Q:u r name please? A:Salim Abeid. Q:Sex? A:Twice a week. Q:i mean Male or Female? A:Doesn't matter sometimes even a Camel. Man's Sexual Stages: 20's Thrice Weekly. 30' tries weekly. 40's tries weekly. 50's tries and tries. 60's tries and cries. 70's tries and dies.

This is the true story of Tommy "China" Zuma,a critically aclaimed young African film maker. Imagine your Brother dated your best friend for two years and after every date they went she will come to you and give you every little detail that happened,every kiss,every caress,every stroke and every lovemaking sessions that they have had. you even know wether your brother is good in bed or flop and did i mention you even know the size of his manhood, feels sick don't it?but what if you never knew wether this guy was indeed your own brother? one day your friend asked you to go with her to her Boyfriend's Birthday Party and you accept the invitation..after the party you sit in the sitting room waiting for your friend to say Good Night to her man and you see a very familiar looking photo hanging on the wall and when you take a closer look at it...you will realize this picture is either your Dad's picture or someone who is his long lost twin brother. you get so exited and at times hilarious and you finally find the courage to ask "Whose picture is this,Tommy?"..."Ohh...i could have introduced you to the handsome man as i see you have been eyeing him ever since you got here but only if i have known him...My Mom gave it to me just before she passed away and she told me it is my late Father's Picture"he replied." you go home to your Mom and you tell her what you just saw in an strange man's home..your Mom tells you to stop exxagerating as your dad was the only son of his parents. That night you go to bed thinking it over and over again and asking yourself somany questions and slowly you begin to notice all the similarities between your Girl's hubby and your Dad..particularly the Chinese like eyes and the gap in their tooth and Oh that familiar grin which your Dad was so famous for. but if this guy is indeed related to me then how come he has a different surname?is the million bucks question that you can't find an answer for. Tomorrow i shall go and see him and ask him everything i need to ask him" is your last decision before you close your eyes and fall sleep. That is the End of Part One of the most heart breaking story you've ever heard.

Had a chick on my Laptop,laid her on my desktop,put my hardware into her software and after a lot of input and output she downloaded and now we've got a floppy Disk. I am your secret admirer, you touch me at the right place and you always know how to turn me on like Kevin Lyytle,you are looking at me right now smiling..guess who i am?....am u r mobile phone s!lly. He met her while browsing, she unzipped his Dotcom for some downloading, since he was virus free he slotted his hard disk into her hotmail and she screamed Yahoo. Question:Do you know the most difficult golf course in the world? Answer:a woman's Pu$$y..no matter howmany strokes you play, your ballz will never go in. Men always say 'I LOVE YOU" to girls but do you know what is the true meaning of this? "I am looking Over Vaginal Entry, You must take Off u r Underwear" (but seriously I LOVE MY Baby to Death)

Do you Cambaro take me to be my SMS mate? to beep and to flash?for rich stuff and corny jokes,in good and poor network till low credit do us part. Oh,how i love the way it rubs and thrust against the pink soft flesh,up and down in and out, creating a thick creamy white mess!Oh oh how I love my Toothbrush. its hard life being a Pen!s,you have a head with no brains,one eye that is blind,two neighbours who are nuts the other an a$$hole and your best buddy is a pu$$y. Girlfriends are appetizers,tastes good at anytime. Mistresses are Pizzas,hot and spicey eaten frequently. Wives are curd rice,eaten when there is nothing. A nun visits a Doc for urine test, by mistake her report gets mixed up and Doc says "Nun..Congratulations you are pregnant" Nun murmers .."O Jesus we cant even trust candles now" :eek:

a prick has only one eye, its hair is a mess,its skin is wrinky,its relatives are nuts,its neighbours an a$$hole and its best friend is a cunt. 8 qualities to be a perfect husband. Brave,Intelligent,Gentle,Polite,Energetic, Non-Alcaholic,Industrious and Self Organized. in short..BIG C@CK...that is all. a 75 year old man talking to his penis "We were born togather,grown up togather,enjoyed life togather and had lots of fun togather..then why did you die before me?" Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, as ladies wisened to the fact that for 60 grams of sausage isn't worth buying the entire Pig. Our sex records show that our sex account is in arrears, please have sex to avoid being sexually blacklisted, take the rounds you can or call back..1st lesson free.

Why do men find it difficult to make an Eye contact?Breasts don't have eyes. a friend is like a Bra, hard 2 find comfortable,supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight and always close to your heart..you are one hell of a bra. Puzzle:it goes in stiff, hard and sweet, comes out soggy and tasteless..guess? ...wrong..chewing gum fool. dirty minds. Mother asks daughter...how is married life Honey? daughter shyly says "Like british airways Mom" mother reads ad and she is shocked "7 days a week, twice a day..both ways" the Bush goverment is like a Condom. stood up to inflation,halted production,protects few punch of pricks and gave you a sense of security while being screwed.

What makes men chase Women they have no intention of Marrying?the same urge that makes Dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. What did the Stockbroker's wife tell her Husband when she cheated on him? "Honey..i have gone Public". Why women are the best engineers in the world?because they can demolish an erection without damaging the structure. Young guy with green,red & blue hair to an oldman staring at him. What is the matter oldie?never done anything wild in your life? Oldman:Yeah..i slept with a peacock once and i am wondering if you are my son. What is the difference between a man and Jellybeans?Jellybeans come in different flavours.

Why Did Cabdoow take his pregnant Wife Cambaro to Pizza Hut?Because they Promised "Free Delivery". Had Clinton got impeached,it would have actually been the first time a President got Blown out of the White House. What is the difference between a Marriage and a Mental Hospital?at Mental hospital you have to show an improvement to get out. Never sleep with a telephone operator, after 3 minutes she will say "Sorry,your time is over" Never sleep with a nurse,she will say "Next please" but sleep with a teacher..she'll say "Repeat that". Women are like Computers..as soon as you commit to one,you realize that if you have waited a little longer you could have had a better model. (This is not neccessarily my Opinion though)

Why does a Tiger have stripes? so it wont be spotted. My Boss bought a BMW because he wanted a car he could spell. In a Blackout,a Polish Man was stuck on an escelator for two hours.I asked him "Why didn't you walk down?" he said "Because i was going Up!" Howmany Blind people does it take to change a light bulb?depends wether the switch is ON or OFF. Everyone has a Photographic memory but unfortunately some don't have a film.

Farxan, I am in LOVE with a Woman,my Mom was a Woman and I got sisters and Aunts plus a Granny so the only issue i got with them is called LOVE...can you blame me for that?i hope not.

1-When they say time flies,where does it fly to? 2-Do cemetary workers prefer the graveyard shift? 3-is Vibration a motion that cannot decide make up it is mind which way it wants to go? 4-if you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to? 5-If life is a big joke,why couldn't my Somali people get it?