Great topic Nafta!
Just the other day this young lady comes to my house with her little girl who was 6 yrs old. So the little girl and I was watching some TV so I started talking to the little girl, just asking basic little things, then I asked her so "How many brothers and sisters have you got" and the little girl replied "No am the only child, I haven't got any siblings" and she went on saying "But you know what abaayo all Muslims are my brothers and sisters". When she said that, wallahi she touched my heart, and I felt so bad for asking her such a question. And later on it turned out that my gut feeling was right and that her parents are divorced. It’s so sad that little ones have to suffer the most out of this situation.
The issue of Somali single mothers can not be blamed on one gender only. Each case of Somali single mother case is different to another. In my opinion the issue of Somali single mothers is mostly blamed on the society that we come to live in, a society which has different culture, values, faith, law etc… Having said that, the Somali mothers come to the west from a country which they were given less voice, and freedom to a country which support them in almost each and every single way and gives them far more freedom then they got back home. Since coming to the west like TM said Somali women started taking over the men’s role in the family in terms of working and bring the money home. They have this thing that if they work and are bring the money home in ee tahay “hormar†like as if they status have all of the sudden sky rocketed and that all of the sudden they went from being “No one†to “Somoneâ€. Since when did being a mother or a house wife become something that is degrading oo laga faano?. In my opinion that is the greatest thing that a woman could ever be is a mother. Rasing and stirring her kids to the right path. If both parents went to work and come home at the same time who is there to look after the kids? That’s how caruurta ku dayacmaan, yaa la iska dayacin caruurta bari kamaan waa lugu su’aali doonaa. And if there is a need for the wife to be working then the husband and wife must figure out a way where they both can work and still be looking after the kid’s i.e she works during the day and he works during the night.
As for the husbands they are equally to be blamed. They are not doing there jobs as husbands right. The wife is left to play both the father and the mother role. Some of the husbands do not go out of they way to seek a better paying job where their wife are not forced to be working. Somali man they have a tendency where they don’t like in ee is dhibaan, they like taking the easy way out of things, they don’t mind being a labour worker or a taxi driver. They have every opportunity at their feet to be anything they want, but no they choose not to take advantage of what’s given to them. They rather choose to be sitting at the maqaayad and talk about a never ending Somali politics and useless talks. Rather then getting educated and being at home where their family needs them. They should spend quality time with the family do something as a family like go out to the park, take the family to the zoo or the equorum. And the other thing is some husbands do not treat their wife with respect, he treats her like as if she is nothing, he does not include her in household discissions basically he does everything according to the way he wants. And that is disrespectful to the wife.
Some of the things I mentioned are what I’ve witnessed and come across which broke families apart. It seems that lately divorce is no longer resorted to being the last option but rather the first. And that is really sad wallahi; divorce is not something to be taken lightly.
How do I view single motherhood?
It’s a terrible thing, something laga duceeysto ilaahay ha naga haayo.
