I couldn't reply back to your comments cause this page don't approve new members I guess, I had to register again. I really appreciate all your comments/advices. No I'm not expecting but he really wants to have a family asap, I'm avoiding which makes me feel guilty everyday. Yes I did mistake, I do pray a lot to find peace of mind. Psychology says, "never give up something you want, it's difficult to wait but more difficult to regret" I gave up my happiness instead waiting, I rush into something horrible. It's not fair for both of us I know that now. I tried to make him to do things I'm attracted to but I failed. He likes his world and he don't find anything wrong with that. He is Scorpio and I am a Gemini, means milk and oil, you can't mix it. I'm not into zodiac signs much but sometimes they do make sense. What I don't understand is how he loves me so much even though he admitted we don't have anything common what's so ever still he finds me attractive??? The fact is I can't leave him, how can I leave him; my mother and father adores him and his family. They laugh and enjoy each other's company. My mother is traditional Somali mother, she believes forever marriage. Why we Somali ladies are different from other females in this world is, we start life living for someone else. First was our parents, we do everything to please them, then our beloved husband comes along, like it or not you please him too and then we become mothers, we live for our children. There is no ME in this life journey, maybe hereafter I can live for ME. Raised in Europe, living like I never left Somalia.