Lol some of your comments made me laugh and some made me very sad cause it's true. Someone said "I'm a people pleaser" which is exactly how I would describe myself.. Weakness... So lately I have been trying to make it work for our family sake, well he doesn't complain at all its me I've been working on but then I find myself having conversation about him marrying Second wife. The idea made him very angry and he said he will never divorce me even if I beg for it.. I didn't even mention divorce or separation and we were not arguing...Hmmm I felt like he just murder me. @tallaabo I'm terrified mate, your fantasies are scary lol.. He would send me probably to Quraan Saar then give me a divorce. Someone mention that is easier to talk free about my feelings on this blog, it's true I personally find very helpful reading your comments.. Negative and positive ones... @Miyir I don't think cheating will solve my emotional breakdown and give me the peace I'm looking for. You should never cheat in any case, unacceptable in my books. Miss Bluelicious gives a good reply

I got married 3 month ago with a guy i don't love but he loves me so much. His lovely, caring and treats me very well. I told him before i got married to him that i don't love him but he said it doesn't matter to him as long he have me in his life. Lately I'm feeling he needs that love from me and he says 1000 times a day "i love you" to me, i can't say it back to him. So i stay quite. It bothers me every time he says that, i feel shit. I don't enjoy talking to him, his voice irritates me, i feel disgusted when he touches me. I was in love with another man 5 years but it didn't work out with the family and when my husband asked me to marry him 3rd time, i said yes cause he is a good man, we have been friends 7 years and he loves me. I thought marrying my closed friend will bring me happiness but i was wrong, when there is no attraction or common things between two people, it's just plain. I had butterflies when i use to talk my ex, we talked hours still felt we didn't talk at all, my husband is opposite there is no sparkle with him, i keep comparing to my ex and he has nothing on him. I feel like im dying inside. As a Somalian we just have to suck in and deal with it but it's so difficult for me when i felt once love and attraction towards someone in past, I miss that feeling when you don't need to pretend or act, you just enjoy the feeling your heart feels. I'm sad most of the time, i use to laugh and enjoy life more but now all i can think of is how i end up in this situation, i don't to want bring shame or conflict between the family, mine and his. I'm very succesful woman in life. I have everything except love,passion,sparkle relationship.