SNM, SSDF, USC, and others were all reacting to the policy of exclussion, the unfair, unbalanced power scheme practiced by the military junta headed by M. S. Barre. On the other hand they were all fighting for their respective clans not the interest of all Somalis. I don't blame them. I understand the true meaning of "Rag hadaad colowdaan asaad ciidan badan weydo; Hadba waxaad ku ciil bixi karto yaa kuu cawo aduun ah"...human nature! Having said that, one has to acknowledge the order of the events and whether reactions justified the provocations. The defeat of the war was a very humaliating to the high ranking officers. Abdullahi Yusuf and Ciro tried to unseat ina-Barre. My family (blood) were doing well before that faithfull day! He lashed back as dictators are expected to...executing all the officers and demoting or jailing innocent folks who happen to share clan ties with these officers. SSDF formed and recruited men from Puntland with a mission to unseat the dictator with the full backing of Ethiopia. Barre felt threatened and made Mudug an example for all to see. The elites of Hargeisa, not only they were jubilant about what happen but poems had been recited about this tragedy in Mudug "Hamee ba'ee 'M' maxaa haddimo soo gaarey" SNM formed not to secede, as Ameenah noted, but to protest the nepotism and the unfair power arrangemenet in Mogadishu. As elites begun to join SNM in masses, the military junta were putting tight lid on them. Qaat was banned (for economic reasons), Berbera port had been used only by those who share blood ties with the regime, etc. The economic embargo was so severe, nomads up there were chopping off the furniture in order to use it as coal for cooking. SNM reacted in a way that exasperated the military junta (Morgan). As the accord between Barre and Mengistu draw near, SNM made its ultimate and tragic mistake by marching through villages inhabited by non-SNM affiliated clans. On its bath, it left a blood trail. And by entering the second largest city of the State, leaving no choice to the dictator they knew would fight back by any means necessary. Thus making the choice of paying such a high price to defeat him and hence rendering their city as a battle field. In Mogadishu, they were called 'xabadi keentey'. Their belongins, looted by soldiers, were on sale. By this time nomads had been already polorized along clan lines and the suffering of their brethren was treated with callous indifference. The road betwwen Mudug and Hamar have seen the most inhumane treatment of nomads. Nomads were denied for proper burial after being killed by General Dhagecade and his platoons. USC military wing led the infamous Ceydeed were succesfull to topple the regime but he didn't have plan. His militia motivated by hate put into practice what they had been preached. At the end he couldn't control them. What happen, I guess, is well known. Civil war lend itself to anarchy. It is very hard to heal the wounds. The thing is though Somalia is not the only country that experienced a civil war. Before unity, peace must prevail. And then workable political solution has to materialize. I for one have a hope that one day we Somalis will see a united and strong Somalia in the horn. I am not fond of blaming our ills to others but the reality is Egypt and Ethopia are the two countries erecting road blocks in the path of peace.

Bee, I agree the assertion of Hijab being a 'political symbol'. The reason being Islam does not differentiate politics and religion as West do in the form of separation of Church and State. As unfortunate as this development might be, the good thing about this is the West is losing faith in its own principles and values that they loudly want to propagate around the world namely: rights of the minority as opposed to the tyranny of the majority (adopted as a key solution to democracy), tolerance, and religious freedom. On the other hand Muslims are beginning to understand, slowly but surely, the cold reality of the life in the West. As the saying goes "it is not the lofty sails but the unseen winds that moves the ship". France's atheist secular system and Germany, to some extent, are now being threatened by sizable but growin Muslim minority all the while their population are aging and shrinking. I don't blame them. Thanks Bee for this very relevant article.

Wa caleykum Salam Samiyah, Right on! there...ur last post, I now see what u meant by romance. That I agree and we should work on that. As Jamaal_11 noted there are countless poems and songs recited on the behave of the loved and cherished qallanjo cuties by Somali men. Lyrics and the very tone in which these nomads have conveyed the beauty, the manners, and even the appearance of their love is very telling to say the least. Of course not all Somali men have the talent of the poets but this is one of the omissions of ur research, observations. U see! u r treated as very highly regarded qallanjo and thus ur post is being looked at with magnifying glasses ...by now u can tell how bored I am 2day. One question Samiyah though; how many men (Somali) do u know (have known) intimately, up and close? Be honest now aquintance, close association, etc. count them all add them up and put a number...how many do u come up? U sure do know little bit about us or else u wouldn't make such sweeping statement. Ur research on the subject should have some stats, I expect, on hand. Ur observation count too... Wlc on board sis. BTW, I've been around here on SOL for quite sometime and let me tell u folks here are nice...n they will make u come back I assure u. Opinions vary and there r few not so nice detractors and spoilers...but I learned to tolerate them.

Allaha u naxariisto ehalkaaga addigana samir iyo iimaan Allaha kaa siiyo. Allaha u wada naxariisto muslimiinta ku dhimatay dagaalkaas.

Here is another absorbing piece. Plz read it. ---------------------------------- Religion and Human Life (Adapted from Spirit of Islam by Muhammad Asad) What we call the 'religious attitude' is the natural outcome of man's intellectual and biological constitution. Man is unable to explain to himself the mystery of life, the mystery of birth and death, the mystery of infinity and eternity. His reasoning stops before impregnable walls. He can, therefore, do two things. One is, to give up all attempts at understanding life as a totality. In this case, man will rely upon the evidence of external experiences alone and will limit his conclusions to their sphere. Thus he will be able to understand single fragments of life, which may increase in number and clarity as rapidly or as slowly as human knowledge of nature increases, but will, nonetheless, always remain only fragments - the grasp of the totality itself remaining beyond the methodical equipment of human reason. This is the way the natural sciences go. The other possibility - which may well exist side by side with the scientific one - is the way of religion. It leads man, by means of an inner, mostly intuitive, experience, to the acceptance of a unitary explanation of life, generally on the assumption that there exists a supreme Creative Power which governs the Universe according to some pre-conceived plan above and beyond human understanding. This conception does not necessarily preclude humankind from an investigation of such facts and fragments of life as offer themselves for external observation; there is no inherent antagonism between the external (scientific) and internal (religious) perception. But the latter is, in fact, the logical speculative possibility to conceive all life as a unity of essence and motive power; in short, as a well-balanced, harmonious totality. The term 'harmonious', though so terribly misused, is very important in this connection, because it implies a corresponding attitude in man himself. The religious human knows that whatever happens to him and within him can never be the result of a blind play of forces without consciousness and purpose; he believes it to be the outcome of God's conscious will alone, and, therefore, organically integrated with a universal plan. In this way man is enabled to solve the bitter antagonism between the human Self and the objective world of facts and appearances which is called Nature. The human being, with all the intricate mechanism of his soul, with all his desires and fears, his feelings and his speculative uncertainties, sees himself faced by a Nature in which bounty and cruelty, danger and security are mixed in a wondrous, inexplicable way and apparently work on lines entirely different from the methods and the structure of the human mind. Never has purely intellectual philosophy or experimental science been able to solve this conflict. This exactly is the point where religion steps in. In the light of religious perception and experience, the human, self-conscious Self and the mute, seemingly irresponsible Nature are brought into a relation of spiritual harmony; because both, the individual consciousness of man and the Nature that surrounds him and is within him, are nothing but co-ordinate, if different, manifestations of one and the same Creative Will. The immense benefit which religion thus confers upon man is the realization that he is, and never can cease to be, a well-planned unit in the eternal movement of Creation: a definite part in the infinite organism of universal destiny. The psychological consequence of this conception is a deep feeling of spiritual security - that balance between hopes and fears which distinguishes the positively religious man, whatever his religion, from the irreligious.

Khatif! qoryahaaga gurro Nur. You missed the point bro. Perhaps I was not clear enough. More info on the way: 1. The husband is a nice fella by all accounts. He is neither an injured lion nor a qaat-chewer nor fadhi ku dirir. He is as decent as you can get. He makes more money than she does but not enough to satisfy both their needs as a family and the needs of his in-laws. No kids. 2. They don’t get enough time for themselves - they rarely see each other. Conflict of schedule is the culprit here. The purpose of this couple’s marriage is being compromised by a third side. Income constraints and parent obligation is what compels the wife to pursue a very demanding, time-consuming career. What pains the wife so much, as practicing muslimah, is that she realized the obligation toward her husband outweighs than that of her parents. What troubles the husband, as a reasonable person, is the fact that there are 18 in-laws in very difficult circumstances whose daily life are very much dependant on him and his beloved wife. He cannot forsake his conscience and yet he cannot ignore the fact that his home has become a crisis management center where phone pleas from Kenya are nightly occurrences. Understanding and sabir is what kept him going. Qorran has been torn apart by anguish over the prospect of losing a sweet darling husband and her beloved family who are in need of her meager income. I brought up this to exemplify the challenges (in monumental proportions mind u) that Somalis face in Qurbo-land. The minimalist approach and reductionism attitude that tend to pass premature judgment on others - nomads whose circumstance we know very little - is blurring the issues. I have met many brothers with marital problems, mainly economic. Please comment on this, if u may, the juggling act some are forced to perform: career, marital duties, parent obligations (for some), and life in unfriendly non-Islamic society. Your balanced wisdom on this is much appreciated sage Nur. I hope you see the relevance of planning career in this not so cheerful scenario.

Nur, Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity . Accusations will be forth-coming as long as you address hot-botton issues. It is inevitable, if u are honorable. Before you hand us that 'mindi iyo kal' and send us to the kitchen you might wanna address this lingering attitude our ladies seem to be holding on for ages. I'm refering the "qor-qode" crab they utter whenever men get acclimated with the kitchen etiquette. How about "xille-gube" accusation whenever we perform a simple review on family budget. These words must be eliminated from 'Xaawaleey' diction if your classes are to have any effect.

Nur, Jazaka'Allah bro. Here is a situation: Qorran ina Shabeel-lagde is married to ina Mas-ku-cadeyde. Her husband makes a bundle in his current position; good enough to cover all family expenses. However, Qorran ina Shabeel-lagde went school and has recently graduated with nursing degree in which she intended to make use of it. In her first job though, the white gown she supposed to wear presented a dilemma. The gown had a short sleeves, you see, and Qorran couldn’t compromise her Islamic dress code. She walked away from that job. She immediately found another one - with appropriate gown type. The two doctors she was assigned to work with were female doctors. Everything seemed to work very fine and all of the sudden she sensed something has gone wrong. Her husband, she later found out, had been upset about the whole thing. In part, she works more than 50 hours a week and sometimes she is on call. Her work is very demanding and time consuming. She is very loyal to her husband. She is a religious women. Her husband is reluctant to ask her to quit for she is the sole working member of very poor displaced family in Kenya. His paycheck is only good enough to their household. The long hours of work (sometimes nights) has been eroding couple’s relationship. Her family’s predicament has an adverse impact to the stability of her family and to some extent to her religious obligation. Breakup is imminent if things continue the way they are now. Bal ka tali Nuuroow xaalka ceynkaas ah.

Inaa Lillahi wa inaa Ileyhi raajicuun. Allaha u naxariisto marxuum Ali. Samir iyo iimaan Sue.

Oral history, with its all shortcomings, is all Somalis have. Make no mistake oral history is the oldest type of historical inquiry, predating the written word. One of the essential construct of oral history is the consideration given to the preserved historical information through recorded interviews with locals. No objective analyst/scholar can sidestep that fact. Now you have a sizable part of the Somali population who believes their ancestory have blood ties with Arabs. We are Somalis, they insist, who have blood ties with Arabs. Yes it is weird! But to dismiss them or to prove them wrong, one has to establish a case that shows there was no blood infussion between the Asian merchants/Sheikhs, and African locals. No one has ever done that. Physical features of Somalis, Oromos, Amhara/tigres, Nubian, Berbers, Tutsis and Tauriqs are almost same and markedly different than the Bantu. They also have another thing in common; they all located with close proximity with Asians particularly Arabs. But none of them bestow much honor on their geneology as Somalis do. Even the colonial orientalist such as the likes of Burton and later Lewis incorporate their hypothesis with this Oral history. Are we Arabs? NO! Are we African? YES if you imply geography. Are we black? Absolutely. Do we have Arab blood, let say 25%? Perhaps. Indeed some of us believe in that. Dr. Edward Saids assertion about imposition of alien notions upon colonized societies by the Occident is evidently right on the mark. He often talks about the myths that Orientalism propogates. Burtons' and Lewis' account of Somali history are valued, it appears, more than Arab writers and local oral history accounts. To write about the indigenous people (by colonial master), we were taught as Dr. Said asserts "is to write with the authority of a nation, and not with the affirmation of a stringent ideology but with unquestioning certainty of absolute truth backed by absolute force."

What enrages nomads so grievously is the sheer ignorance and callous indifference of the lady Edna's scandallous interview aired at NPR. It is easy enough to understand her mission which is to find recognition. What is hard to understand is an objective reason for degrading a fellow countrymen. Gediid sxb I will be waiting you at the center where I currently reside and don't leave behind Oodweyne and Al Kowneyn. Hadhow waxay odhan doonaa Somalida meel dhexe isuguma timaado Don't fail us now! Biyo meel godan bey isugu tagaan-tii baa dhab ah ee ha ka daalin. Afur wanaagsan,

Maxruug-Mashalaaye-Aafo , He did not invent the script MMA but he 'Somalized' if u will. Illiterates are had to teach so it is not hard to see him giving instructions that will facilitate the task: kan wax ma leh, kan hal dhibic uu hoos ku leeyahay, kan waa godon yahay, kana waa lagu joojiyaa...and so on. By the way how do they say this in Beydhabo widaay? Entre, Jameecooyinka especially Sheikh Abdullahi Baardheere @ jiirada taleex and Timaweynta @ shineema Shuun were strange to say the least; drums, qaat, etc.

^I liked it. He tells like it is. Let the rich go first: The battlegrounds they always choose Their estates have the most to lose; Send highest IQs to Take positions at the front, Let them perform their best High-tech warfare stunt;

Mansh'Allah @ hablaha qaar...xikmad iyo miyir badanaa. We men can marry up to four qallanjooyin (so tempting heh!) but wait there r strings attached to this right. One can do so if and only if one can meet a set of rigorous standards of performances. These stringent measures include but not limited to: neutrality between them (Time, gifts, money, etc), patience, wealth, and complete knowledge of their rights. I must tell u few men will ever dare to take more than one wife. These are men who can cope with the prospect of turning a loving and lovable wife to a bitter and envious one who is apprehensive of losing affection, status, wealth, etc. Who can blame her since she has to share with all of these to a newcomer. Human nature all the way around, don't u think? Even pious women cannot resist this strong feeling. Blame or not, one's family and sanity hangs on the balance. It shouldn't be that excrusiating to practice what Allah has decreed. As any other Islamic directive there is wisdom and reason behind this. It takes a little bit of miyir and composure to look the other side of the coin. It is troubling to see that our ladies percieve us, Somali men, this way. I'm reffering to the never ending sweeping generalization that paint all Somali men into this lazy, irresponsible, qaat-chewing, public charge, who have disgraced the entire community brush. Stop it fadlan it is not right.

Entre, In Dugsi Qur’an or malcamad, the first thing we were taught was: alif waxmale, ba hal hoos ku lehe, ta kor ku labale...etc; allif la kor-dhabay, allif la hoos dhabey, allif laa godey, ..and so on. Remember that sxb! well Sheikh Yusuf Al-Kowneyn authored that. He was said to have been the first educator who standardized preparatory education of ‘Duqsiyada’. This is ‘waxa-la-yidhi’ kinda oral history. I haven’t seen a written account of this yet. He was an Arab origin, and had taken part of the freedom fighters movement of forties. That is what I heard about the Sheikh. Nomads will hopefully clarify if that is so.

King-450, I don't know about that sxb. I really enjoy his eloquence and the fact that he directs his big gun to Bush. Actually, Antiwar site relaesed excerpts of his speech today: The dictionary definition of victory is simple and straightforward: success, conquest, triumph. Within the constraints of that simplistic definition, I suppose one could construe this package to be a victory for the President. But I believe there is a moral undercurrent to the notion of victory that is not reflected in the dictionary definition. I believe that most Americans equate victory more closely with what is right than with simply winning. It is one thing to win, and the tactics be damned; it is quite another to be victorious. Victory implies doing what is right; doing what is right implies morality; morality implies standards of conduct. I do not include arm-twisting and intimidation in my definition of exemplary standards of conduct. Moreover, we should not forget that not all victories are created equal. In 280 BC, Pyrrhus, the ruler of Epirus in Northern Greece, took his formidable armies to Italy and defeated the Romans at Heraclea, and again at Asculum in 279 BC, but suffered unbearably heavy losses. "One more such victory and I am lost," he said. It is to Pyrrhus that we owe the term "pyrrhic victory," to describe a victory so costly as to be ruinous. This supplemental, and the policy which it supports, unfortunately, may prove to be a pyrrhic victory for the Bush Administration. If interested in reading the whole speech go to A High Price for a Hollow Victory Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D – WV) November 4, 2003

Inaa Lilaahi waa inaa Ileyhi raajicuun. Allaha u naxariisto.

Aamiin. I don’t know the answer walaalkiis. You put me in the spot sxb (I should have known it as it is very basic knowledge of Islam). I’m at work right now and I don’t have access to my audio lectures but when I got home this afternoon and I consume many sambuusi and timir (hadda korontadaa iga maqan e!) then I will be in position to look it up. In the meantime, our learned brother and SOL resident Sheikh Nur can kindly enlighten us on this issue as he has always done.

Many thanks ilmatic sxb. It is very telling, informative piece. To spice it up there is a qoute that sums it up (for me) : ''Every once in a while I would raise my head from the grind of getting this case ready and I would say, 'Where are we with my proposal?''' she remembers. ''Finally, when the case was pulled from the calendar, I did a lot of soul-searching. My life, my home life and my new family life were at the mercy of other people's whims. The judge had chosen to go fishing. My partners had chosen not to place my request on high-enough priority.'' One night she and her husband sat down, and he asked, '' What is the ultimate goal? '' ''In theory,'' she answered, ''the goal is to become a partner.'' ''Does your life get better or worse if you become a partner?'' ''Well, financially it gets better, but in terms of my actual life, it gets worse.'' And that is when Brokaw quit. She now cares full time for that eldest daughter, as well as the two children who followed. ''I wish it had been possible to be the kind of parent I want to be and continue with my legal career,'' she says, ''but I wore myself out trying to do both jobs well.''

Zakat for Da'wah and Public Welfare Programs 11/1/2003 - Religious - Article Ref: IC0212-1797 By: Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi IslamiCity* - In the Qur'an, Allah Almighty has mentioned 8 categories of people who can receive Zakah. Allah Almighty says: "Alms are for the poor and the needy, and those employed to administer the (funds); for those whose hearts have been (recently) reconciled (to the truth); for those in bondage and in debt; in the cause of Allah; and for the wayfarer: (thus is it) ordained by Allah, and Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom." (At-Tawbah :60) The expression "in the cause of Allah" or fi Sabil Allah was generally interpreted "Jihad fi Sabil Allah" and so many jurists restricted this Zakah expense for this purpose. Muslim jurists also say that in the Qur'an Allah used the word "Lil fuqara' wa Al-masakin or 'for the poor and the needy' and the 'lam' or (for)" here means 'tamlik' or possession. Thus they interpret the above verse to mean that the poor and needy should be made owners of this money or Tamlik Al-Zakah. Since in public and social welfare projects no one becomes the owner, so, according to their interpretation the Zakah should not be used for this purpose. Thus you will find in the books of Fiqh statements emphasizing that the money should not be used to build the Masajid, schools, hospitals, hostels etc. because this money belong to poor and it should be given to them. There are some jurists who still hold this strict opinion concerning Zakah. However, there are a number of jurists of this century, such as Sheikh Muhammad 'Abduh, Rashid Rida, Maulana Mawdudi, Amin Ahsan Islahi, Yusuf Al-Qaradawi and some Fatwa organizations in Kuwait and Egypt, they are of the opinion that the phrase 'in the cause of Allah' covers a broad category and it should not be restricted to Jihad only. It is a general term and it should be applied in all those situations where there is a need to serve Islam and Muslims. Those scholars consider it permissible to use the Zakah money to finance the Da'wah and public welfare programs. They say that the expression 'for the poor and needy' can also mean 'for the benefit of the poor and needy'. The modern jurists also argue that in the past Muslim governments used to build Mosques, schools and used to finance public welfare projects. Now many governments are negligent in this matter. Many Muslims are living in areas where there are no Muslim governments. Furthermore the financial needs of the people have become so enormous and diverse that earlier rules and restrictions cannot be fully applied and may not be very useful in every place. In his famous book Fiqh Az-Zakah, Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, has thoroughly discussed this subject. His Fatwa is that in non-Muslim countries it is permissible to use Zakah funds to build the Masajid, Schools and hospitals. Muslims from all over the world go to Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, United Arab Emirates etc. to solicit funds for the building of their Mosques and schools. Most of the business people in those countries give their Zakah for this purpose. Many people from all over the world use this money for building projects without any question. Now, there are many people who come to North America to solicit funds for their Mosques and schools in some poor countries. American Muslims are also giving their Zakah to build Masajid and schools in other countries. It is the concept of 'fi Sabil Allah' and helping the Islamic cause in many lands where it has made it possible to establish Islamic institutions and Mosques. Zakah is basically for the poor and needy and most of it should be used to take care of their needs. I believe that for the Mosque constructions Muslims should make extra charity and should give from funds other than Zakah. However, it is not forbidden for Muslims to give their Zakah money for the building of Mosques and schools, especially in non-Muslim countries. Islamic centers should have a separate Zakah fund. Those who do not want their Zakah to be used in building projects, should give their money to the Zakah fund. But those who want to give their Zakah for the Masjid construction they should donate directly to that project." Allah Almighty knows best.

x-quizit, But i challenge u to answer my q that i asked previously that u and Khayr decided it was not important enough to reply to...so again i ask u...would u stay home and stay with the kids if ur wife earned more money than u or would u let ur "manly" pride get in the way and want to be seen as the man of the house?(see more detail in my previous post for this q) NO! Not because of my “manly” pride but because the idea of ‘who earns less stays home’ is materialistic in nature and quite frankly un-Islamic. Materialistic in the sense that money is the determining factor. Un-Islamic in the sense that family leadership is redefined (Qur’anic law specifies who is doing what). Swapping motherly role and breadwinner’s role is unnecessary and uncalled for. Needless to say, I don’t mind staying home if and only if I can’t meet my obligations and responsibilities. BTW, whatever wife earns is hers and there is no obligation for her to cover the family expenses. Hence, logic dictates that no matter how little husband earns he has the responsibility to go out to work. Flying-still, But we need to seperate what is and what should be Below are a few lines from your post...the way I see it all though there are brothers out there that will do as mentioned below there is a greater number of brothers that won't or can't. In that case what is a muslim women to do? I don’t know. My ‘cilmi dhegood’ says if the husband tries his best but comes short then we have ‘fakhri’ and ‘sabir’ is in order. But if he neglects his duty and responsibilities then the wife may seek divorce. Needless to say, if she has his permission she can work provided her conduct outside home is within Islamic perimeter. This is purely ‘Cilmi dhegood’, I don’t know what the deal is perhaps Nur can give us definite answer.

x-quizit and Rising phoenix, Let me start with what I agree with u: First there is no legal provision in Islamic law that can be construed to say women cannot work outside her home. If there are provisions on that nature I’ve never heard of them. Disclaimer: I’m not ‘Calim’ and I’m just paraphrasing ‘Cilmi Dhegood’ from Islamic lectures. Secondly, within Islamic society it is desirable and even commendable to have a women be examined by women hence Islam presumes that there will be a female doctors. By the same token, in girl schools female teachers are more preferable than male teachers thus it is clear the need for female teachers there. Therefore, it shows that under ideal Islamic society there must be educated women who have these skills. However, if there is a conflict between advancing/maintaining your career (doctors, nurses, teachers, etc) and attending your motherly/wifely functions, the later takes precedents. There are priorities in what we do and decisions we made thus in this case the best interest of the children comes first. Are we in agreement on this point qalanjooyin? Furthermore, if we expand our view and consider other major roles women play in society in terms of maintaining the fabric of society (family) and rising children with proper upbringing especially in early childhood, we will conclude that motherhood has much more noble and challenging function than any other roles women take on. In this age, ‘housewives’ the word is a loaded word with such negative connotation – especially in materialistic society who tend to look economic dimension of this issue (i.e. two working partners can have more worldly goods). Her role in society is by no means insignificant according Islamic teaching and common sense. There is misconception it appears about career. If I’m not mistaken, you seem to be saying that you consider paying job outside home as career but motherhood, according to you, is not regarded as a career. For instance, daycare worker, nurse, secretary, teacher, waitress and what not are regarded as careers. Obviously by doing these chores for an organization or a company earns you money. It follows that money, contribution to society, and individual fulfillment is the end that motivates you. If that is the case, by working at home you are contributing tremendously to both the well being of your household and community at large. In fact, your contributions exceed your husband’s entire salary as mothers are doing constant work, constant effort looking after children and household. That is not a worthless contribution by any stretch of the word. As for the income, suppose your husbands guarantee your financial needs and they wish you took care family business, would that be an acceptable proposition to you? What about if Qur’anic law and prophetic traditions confirm that you should accept such offer? And as you would agree with me Divine law must have great deal of wisdom and reason behind it. We may not comprehend fully today but we will understand as we become more knowledgeable the spirit of Islam. As far as fulfillment is concerned, what fulfillment is greater than the establishment of a warm home, a happy husband, healthy and well-reared children and loved and cherished wife (in the eyes of her grateful husband)? Isn’t that what the term “quality time”, that workingwomen are so in need of, meant? More on career! Why is it that if a woman cooks in a restaurant for strangers is regarded as having a career and when she cooks for her beloved husband (who are required to guarantee her financial security to best of his ability) and children, is regarded as inferior? Or you wouldn’t consider someone pursuing career as secretary or waitress or in this example chef as having career? too long? couldn't help

Aamiin.

Question To Brother Baashi? Life is a puzzle, in this topic we discussed the complication of a brother who may not be accepted by sisters as a mate because of his spiritual profile, however you've created a brand new problem in this thread, a wise brother like Baashi who is not looking, that is really puzzling. What do you have to say to that br.? Nur I'm a married man. My qallanjo is more than good enough for me. That's why I'm not looking. Sorry to confuse you brother. Looking forward to the 'paper' on Marriage by Nurtell Social Engineering Research.

Nur, Marriage on Your Mind? No, nevertheless, will share my thought on this. I’m of the opinion that there are many single Somali men/women around, Allah-fearing, Sunnah-abiding nomads. Even the ones who are affected by the “Qasaawatul Qalbi” lapse can positively respond to the calling when it is presented by strong-willed, dignified, maxajabah-muslimah. After all, they showed interest in her because they’ve seen something noble in the way she carries herself. It follows that they value the deen. As long as prospects (both gender) have the seed of Islam in them, they fulfilled the faith criterion. Incidentally, it is “other” qualities that give us a window of opportunity to assess a potential prospect: his attitudes on life (materialistic vs. non-materialistic), whether he get along his siblings, parents, friends, etc. (temper), whether he is arrogant or humble (good listener), whether he is from stable family (perpetual dispute between loved ones will inevitably spill over to ur household), does he has a source of income (to maintain a family), etc. These ^, along faith criterion, is what one should consider in the screening process. Our faith in Allah can be restored, nourished and nurtured if there is the will. We can’t presuppose a prospect will lack the will once the nikaah concluded. Courage, with understanding that life has many twists and turns, is required when considering a challenging proposition such as marriage. It is risky-taking exercise. After all, to love is to take the risk of not to be loved in return. However, sometime calculated risk must be taken. To weigh your options carefully and realistically is one thing, to strive to find perfect mate as if there is a perfect human being or soul mate is another thing. The former is an act of prudence. The later, in my humble opinion, is waste of time. It is the attitude we embrace that prevent us to see the inner beauty of some of those who approached us. It is the idea of casting others, catogerically, as not deserving mates without knowing a bit about them that is erecting barriers between potential mates. In closing, let me say that marriage is an act pleasing to Allah. It is not permanent lock lest you make an error of judgment in choosing your spouse. It is the only Islamic way to fulfill the biological instinct to have sexual intercourse. If you are healthy, are able to maintain a family, can not hold your sexual passions, can not fast to control this urge, then it is wise to marry the next best mate in the event you can’t find the so-called soul mate. Ramadan Karim.