Sarah, of Somali descent but born in the Netherlands, was 16 when she was forced to marry her uncle in Somalia. After several attempts she managed to escape from Mogadishu last month and go back home. She now lives in hiding in a women’s shelter in the Netherlands. Saturday, August 18, 2012 Sarah’s mother was pregnant when she fled war-torn Somalia, in 1994. Growing up in a middle-sized town in the Netherlands, Sarah had a pretty carefree youth. But when she was around eight years old, the situation at home became tense. “I went to a Roman Catholic school, so I didn’t wear my hijab in class,” says Sarah, who requested not to use her real name. “But my mother felt the pressure to raise me as a proper Muslim girl. So after school I had to wear my headscarf and I was not allowed to hang out with the girls in my class. I wanted to be like my friends; I repelled the idea of being different.” The local child welfare office started to interfere when Sarah was 12. This made Sarah’s mother flee once again. She took her daughter to London and its big Somali Muslim community. “There were mosques everywhere, and every single Muslim girl wore hijabs and [other] covering clothes,” says Sarah. “I couldn’t use my friends as an excuse not to wear these clothes. Still I didn’t want to. I refused to wear a hijab. My mother made my life a living hell. She was angry and kicked me out of the house several times.” Forced marriage After finishing secondary school, home wasn’t such a bad place for Sarah anymore. “Suddenly, my mother was nice to me and very understanding. She even bought me a dress for the end of school party. And when the summer came, she told me we’d go to Somalia, to visit my sick grandmother.” Little did Sarah know that her mother bought for her only a one-way ticket to Somalia. “I thought Somalia was weird, I could not adapt. I was the strange, bad girl from Europe. As it turned out, my grandmother wasn’t really sick. My mother told me we would stay in Somalia for one year, so I could learn about my culture. And then we would go back. But that was never the plan. She had arranged my wedding.” Three days before her wedding party, Sarah learned she was about to marry her mother’s 35-year-old cousin. “Everybody had warned me, but I really thought my mother had changed. I didn’t think she was going to leave me there.” Sarah had to marry her uncle, because in her mother’s eyes he was a good man, and a rich man, too. In the wedding pictures Sarah produces a faint smile, but her heart was torn by grief. “It’s something I like to forget. It was a good wedding, to be honest. Not for me personally, but it was a sumptuous party in an expensive hotel. I was a sad bride, however. I thought this was the end. And he was my uncle - that was the worst thing. I was marrying my blood, my relative.” Repeatedly raped Sarah says that her husband was a horrible, cruel man. “He treated me like an animal. I was just his whore from Holland, that’s what his whole family called me. In our community a woman has to be deflowered within seven days after the wedding. In my case that didn’t happen - I told him I had my period. I told him that for two weeks and then he raped me. And after that he did it all the time. I didn’t feel anything. I was numb”. Sarah was not the only woman in the family. Her husband had two other wives, who are now 45 and 16 years old, respectively. He would be with a different wife every two days. “I was the only one who felt bad about it. The other ones liked it, because over there it’s not a bad thing. But I found it was disgusting and I felt very ashamed I told my friends in London to help me, to get me back. But I could never tell them why because I was too embarrassed. Until today, they don’t know I was married to that guy.” Trapped She decided to take matters in her own hands by asking help from her country of birth, the Netherlands. Along with five other Somali girls, who grew up in London, she fled to the Ethiopian capital, Addis Ababa, where she went to the Dutch embassy. “[The embassy] told me, ‘We can’t help you because you’re 17 and they’re still liable. So either we call your parents or you go back [to Somalia]’.” The British girls were first put in a hotel and then brought to London, but, Sarah says, “[at the Dutch embassy] it didn’t look as they were willing to help me. They were very offensive.” Sarah kept trying her luck at the embassy, to no result. In the meantime, her family-in-law had found out she was in Addis Ababa and brought her back to Mogadishu. At first she became depressed and developed an addiction to sleeping pills. But somehow she managed to regain hope. Sarah used the London Olympics as a target. “I thought, I have to be in Europe before the Olympics start. If I have to, I’ll walk there.” She started to look on the internet for solutions and got in touch with Shirin Musa, who-co founded the Dutch women’s rights organisation Femmes for Freedom. Musa bought Sarah a plane ticket to Amsterdam. “I went to the travel agency to validate my ticket. There, I met another Dutch-Somali girl who also wanted to escape. We agreed to meet at the airport on the day of our flight. I was nervous, I couldn’t eat. I was so sure [my relatives] knew what I was up to. It had never been that scared before.” Hunted down “The day I left I told my husband I am going to see a friend, but went to the airport instead. While the other girl and I were sitting there, a policeman approached us. He was carrying a picture, so I was 100 percent sure he was looking for me. But he looked at the girl and told her she had to go with him to the reception desk. She never came back. I think her family gave the policeman money to find her. My family didn’t know I had left, but she had been gone for two weeks, so her family knew she was about to escape.” Living in hiding Now, Sarah is living in a women’s shelter in the Netherlands. She is thinking about going to college in February next year. The only thing that matters to her now is to persevere. One day, she wants to marry another man, but that means she has to divorce her husband. “In my religion it’s not a marriage if the girl has been forced into it. I’ll have to consult sheiks and imams, but I heard there is a way. No matter what happened, it doesn’t mean that Islam is wrong.” She hopes that in the future the Netherlands will be more helpful for (towards) girls in her situation. “People hardly speak about it, which I find disappointing. I was born here, I’m proud to be Dutch, but when they sent me away at the embassy [in Ethtiopia] I felt embarrassed to be Dutch.” In the meantime, Sarah’s husband and mother have tracked her down and keep on pestering her. “He sends me nasty messages on Facebook, saying that he will ruin my life, that he’s never going to divorce me and that I’ll never find another husband. My mother contacted me as well through other people, saying that I should come back, that everything will be OK. But no, I fell for that once, I won’t do it again.” Source: Raido Netherlands Worldwide

The Week has officaly ended.. and the Ciid is soon within our sight. I am right know watching the clock going minute minute. My thoughts are on my exiit from this deadfull horrible workplace...Boredom has never been my thing. Marka smile and say Jimcoo wanaagsan, the happiest day of them all.[

Life is strange is it not Oba?, Ninkaani asagoo Rinkeby joogo oo socialbidrag (welfare) dhuuqayo ayaaba la ogaaye, shimee aas u baxay Somalia? Shongolow shini ha ku dishee, Alle ka baq... Stop sending children to their death.

oba hiloowlow;857451 wrote: Khadafi are you banaadiri? Haye, waa lis gartayee, adna soo ma tihid ^^^^^^ odayga warsheekh ka imaaday dooda ku jiro qabo sxb.

Somalia;857445 wrote: Guys, here's a historical debate on who owns it, it is very funny, watch the Reer Xamar guy win over the other guy to the point where he says SYL were all tuugo. I saw that debate, the intresting thing is oba hilowles friend did not know the diffirence between the ******hamar groups. The man debating is indeed **** but he is from those who hail from the founder the Axmadiya dariiqa Sheekh cali maye alle ha u naxariisto, They are mainly in Merka. He could easily said "war marka ku noqo;) The second thing is truly intectually degrading to see a man lashing out the founding fathers of somali republic becouse of their clanish background is sickening. I guess that the so called scholar could not stumoch the reality, mainly that before the italian colonialists arrived and destroyed the instutional demographics, Muqdisho was inhabitaded mainly by the *****clans. The clans that lived around moqdishu were nomads and were not intrested in living in muqdisho, why would they. They would come to Mogadishu and trade with banadiri people. inter-marriage was common, but then came the italian colonialists and made mogadishu the capital. Iska dhaafe kuwa agaaha muqdisho dagan, soomali oo dhan aaba magaalada soo dagtay. Midda sadaxaad, , I do not see Obas friend as enemy, on the contray. Our culture is very similiar to mine Hadaaba lisla daganyahay mala lis noolankaro? Eboowyaashaas waa laga kasaaye laakin yaa kasaaye mukalaal madow xadda imaaday

Che -Guevara;857437 wrote: How could Amharas be any worse than Zenawi? Che, They want abolish ethnic federalism, annex Eritrea and send ethiopia back to its gorious history as an abbsynian black man with a golden cross sitting with white men and bullying those from lowlands:D...Zenawi and the tigrayans know that theire biggest enemy are not the somalis or oromos, its mainly from the Amharas. When somalis today are so bitterly divided the last thing we need is an injir infected amxaaro.

Go Mo!, The man did it and made history. Nice to somalis suceedinga and giving some postive reputation the community. We need it In times when being "somali" is accociated with Hyeana eating and pirates:D

There is something fishy about his abstence, I dont wish him dead though. As someone said earlier his death might lead to the amharas gaining power. Amxaarana waa la yaqaana nacayba ey u qabaan soomaalida.

oba hiloowlow;857357 wrote: sheeko idin nacday i agree with Reer banaadir Xamar iyo xamar daye aaba laka ahanjiree maxaa ku dhacay eebow cadde? Intaadan fiirinin reer ¤¤¤¤¤ oo aad is taqaantid maad fiirisid lamagoodlaha dhibka badan ka imaaday mudug?

Reer Banaadiri, and where will you be sent? Ethiopia? So much destruction have been upon the banadiris becouse of war and "lamegoodle" mentality! Magac fiican aad wadataaye ku camal fal;)

I concur Apophis from xamar to marka cadeey

Avataarka waaba iska badalay, waraabe ma cuniyee!

You are what you eat soomaaha, amaaba waraabe la noqda, waaba yaaabaye!

As an old xerow I must say that this contradicts the ijmaac of the quran and Sunnah. I say this will full conviction. In aan saxiib bukhaari furo oo hal xadiis keeno oo i ogalanaayo waraabe-cunid waa qalad , The reason is that that baabul-ijtihaadka is already closed! In the Shaafici madhab all the others madhab are all united on the stance we can not eat Carnivals, Look at the the basic shaafici concept in the maqaasid ama abi shujaaca. Maadey, shay imaam Shaafici mabnuucay asagoo quraan iyo sunnada iyo ijmaaca fiiriniaayo adi maad baneeykartid! Let us be honest, waxaani waa jahwareerka Wahaabiyada, Those who qoute Wahaabi scholars to justify hyeana eating are misled, the hadith might be true but are theire not hundred others xadiiths thats forbid it! Why base break the consenus (ijmaaca) Eating Hyeana is forbidden, it is not part of the sunni understanding and will never be so. Walle wahaabiyada soomalida wey waaleen! all major scholars, salaf and khalaf wey mabnuuceen waxaani , marka Albaani iyo Binbaaz miyaa ka saxsan Afarta Imaamul-mujtahadiin Apophis do not be confused . This is the mess that is created by wahabism. A simple fatwa with a lot of petro-dollars gains you much influence.... step by step they are revealing themselves. Do not be chocked to see them, digging upp the grave our beloved prophet, for Imam Albani made fatwa that the grave must be removed from masjidka!

As an old xerow I must say that this contradicts the ijmaac of the quran and Sunnah. I say this will full conviction. In aan saxiib bukhaari furo oo hal xadiis keeno oo i [B]ogalanaayo waraabe-cunid waa qalad[/b] , The reason is that that baabul-ijtihaadka is already closed! In the Shaafici madhab all the others madhab are all united on the stance we can not eat Carnivals, Look at the the basic shaafici concept in the maqaasid ama abi shujaaca. Maadey, shay imaam Shaafici mabnuucay asagoo quraan iyo sunnada iyo ijmaaca fiiriniaayo adi maad baneeykartid! Those who qoute Wahaabi scholars to justify hyeana eating are misled, the hadith might be true but are theire not hundred others xadiiths thats forbid it! Why base break the consenus (ijmaaca) Eating Hyeana is forbidden, it is not part of the sunni understanding and will never be so. Walle [B]wahaabiyada [/b]soomalida wey waaleen! The Zack, brother look it up, all major scholars, salaf and khalaf wey mabnuuceen, marka Albaani iyo Binbaaz miyaa ka saxsan Afarta Imaamul-mujtahadiin! Saxiib Bukhaari culumada sida camal Imaam Nawawi wuu haystay, xadiiskaani aad soo daliilsateena wuu kasaayay, Why did he not allow it!

Obaaa... Unuka .. waxay ka keenen 6 nin ee SYL! Siyaasada waxaas ka baxeen marka ey noqotay midka qoriga..

Carafaat, sings the blues when everyone else sees red;) I concur with you Carafaat, If all jinnis in the world are joing the campaign why not him?

A positive effort towards the future, the closure of the leaching xaawaladyada

Moon, laziiness is a big factor, reer kasto waxay ku faanta in oo qof u maqanyahay, marka maxaa aa loo shaqeysanaa hadaaba heleysid bil walbo qof lacag free ku soo diraayo. I am not a die hard capitalist but think about. What kind of mentality do we give to those in Somalia when we send them "freely" a monthly allowance? The allowance that we send back to Somalia without any kind of repayment demands have led somalis to lack the the urge to work. I can not blame them.! Marka xawiilaadyada ha la xero! Capitalismada dadka shaqo ha barro. Nin aanan shilin shaqeysan shaah ma cabo lol! I

I remember growing up in Xamarwayne... Waking up in the morning and heading off to dugsi, and then going to Xamar jabjab for some shukaansi.... xamar caddey aan soo xasuustaaye mugdiga MUUgdishada yaa xadda ka warhaayo!

Narnia hadaa soomaliya la joogo haa, waan guursanlahay. It is not that I prey my friends wives, the thing is when the bread winner dies who is going to take care of her. It is a win.-win situation. I cared for my friends wife economically (he would be happy) and I got a second wife;)

The intresting thing is that Turkey has dropped its high quest for an entry in the EU? The tables are turned, who wants to join the drunking ship called the EU?

It's better to make it later then having a bunch Mp-trolls fighting each other. The last thing we need today is is-qabsi baas.

She did a good job! And by the way this my first post so salaams to all of you.