Personally making other people happy is a waste of time in my opinion. Tell your mother in law that you didn't go to your sister in law's wedding because it had music in it. If she is still mad then oh well, she is pissed because you choose to be a good muslim? Fudge that.
As for your husband getting a job, does he NOT want to get a job or has he been looking for a job but no one hasn't hired him? If its the first one its time to remind him of his islamic AND somali duties. If you were a somali woman sister non of the Bullsh!t would be happening.
As him why he is mad at you? If he says he cannot or will not, tell him next time he explodes you gave him a chance to be a man and to voice his concerns.