Apart from the blonde,which seeing i am faired-skin look good in i would recommed BLUE-BLACK.............its so Mad :cool:

you for coming up with this topic.............LOL............ but seriously.............it would have 2be chris tucker & Heusy(if anyone knows him)

Jawariya, If you want to SELF BOAST about MAKING IT as a cliche INDEPENDANT WOMEN, then u are in the wrong site.... , see what i mean....................SHEER HOSTILITY!!..................A question which demanded reasoning but received typical somali-men enrage............

Maxaa ka wadaa "successful women?" Do you mean holding degree in minimum education, skirt-wearing, working in a cubicle/office and spending her salary on the latest shoes, purses, and a bit manicure and pedicure here and there with a little insecurity about whole outfield of what is known life, a la Sex and the Magaalo? Is that what is considered "successful" these days? no walaal, this is no what i had meant by "success", nor are your other guess. the closest being your reference to "being independent", although i believe that regardless of whether you are male or female, u are never ultimately independent: independent from the bondage of man over man, but never-the-less always dependent towards your creator. anywayz, the sort of succcess i was laying out was: the successful woman, who can practically juggle everything: working not at a "cubicle office" but at a job that serves the community and also pays more then what men typically earn(lets say pharmacy), who us very educated and influential.who is prized for her sense of knowledge and so forth,who is surprisingly young and very glamourous(what she does not have in looks she makes up in style) ok maybe snoby because she knows her worth. (by the way guys don't get ideas in your head,..........if i am not describing myself i am describing a friend or a particular role model of mine). Who despite doing all this, still has the time to do something for her religion(lets say gives lectures) who is enjoying the heights she has achieved and walks down the street thinking that she is worth millions and turns the other cheeck when the foolish address her............what would you say to that?.......does she not have a right to think that she is "all-that n above"?, does she not have the right to turn you down if u are lets say not her level, without you mentioning that she is not "all-that-just because has achieved something? would you degrade her so that she feels somewhat like your level? or turns a cheek your way?. is this somewhat intimidating? ] now, i tried my best to be realistic, and hope that i am not creating a "alph-woman", seriously this is closest to the truth and i do appeal to your sense of reasoning...................... ps. Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar i appreciate the welcome aboow-hes but my name is Jawariya, not Jawaahir....(don't worry typical somali-mistake)

it always seemed to me that times have changed thus we are progressively changing with it. but preharps i am not correct.Being bought up in a house which was male dominated(in terms of numbers) it never occurred to me that men would find successful women intimidating. you see my father and brothers have always been fussy about my achievements and always pushing me to reach my outmost best.their main effort and emphases was that i got somewhere in my life,seing how this was the way i was bought up and adding to the fact that my best friends also had brothers who were strict and insisted on their future well-being i never thought that it could be possible. then the most shocking thing happened, for the first time in my life i received hostility from men about my status. i thought that it was a mere incident and did not put much thought into it. but it can it be possible? are the male species resorting to hostility because of intimidation? have females scarred the male-ego or set back male domination? or is this out of sheer ignorance?

Amen to that...............brother, mashallah ist good to see someone shouting towards the beuty of islam, but 1 criticism, you seem to be full of ideals.........but ideas alone can not create change............you need to be a leader, now you don't have to have a sword and wearing the colours of battles...........but i hope that you take this a step further and instead of demanding these things to put them in place..............preharps being a moderator yourself?..............but mashallah.........and may allah exhault you to a higher degree........amen

while we divert ourselves to other silly....billy arguments..............lets revert back to the orginal question........... yes.........quite a dilemma...........or is it? the reality is that the dear brother...........which i admire quite frankly sought advice.............that is why i must take his situatuiin critically. in explaining his situation the dear brother set the scene and explained that he has a "stable life", this may i add is one of the greatest graces allah can bestow on a person......one only has to flip the coin to see where he would end up if he does not take this grace seriously. He is complaining about nerves and headaches with this new love being around..........add the the regret, sorrow and the headaches from not sleeping at night steming from leaving his old love..........and it will remain an easy question. if my husband had such dilemma which allah forbid, i would not give him another day to live..............i would at least expect him to talk to me about it...........you owe her that much. and you owe god for the graces he gave you..........if she will not marry.......then you can not have her as a wife...........if you don't count your graces then you will painfully realise it sooner or later.

Brother have u ever considered thinking outside the box you live in............being a person much committed to seeking knowledge i like the idea of someone yearning to better themself..........considering thats the path you are pointing...........well bro........when i said this line i literally mean........where u are now is not where every somali is.............maybe crossing oceans??

a curious thought...........one that i can absolutely say i have pondered on.......................personally such contract would not be viable in islamic terms the contract between husband and wife is of different nature......its an agreement not a bidding. but having pondered on this very thought i would like to enlighten on it a bit and enforce the notion that.............she can not ask her for husband such..........but for the ladies in the room.........if you really don't want him to do so and it would kill you.............u could always state in your marriage contract that if he did want a second wife.....you could leave him