See, I read your post and of course I understand all of that. When the sister and I began talking, we hit it off right away. She even told me about dreams she has had about marrying a Muslim revert brother (not goals, actual sleep style dreams. A recurring dream at that), and that she has a definite preference for a revert brother herself. Her family however, will not listen to this unless the reverts family are also Muslim, which is not the case here. The xenophobic/supremacist attitude comment was my response to the part of your post where you said " Like other ethnicities out there, Somalis mostly like to stick with their own. You see we consider our women beautiful and we don't like others taking away out beauty." To me, and other people I have read your post to, we all come to the same conclusion (funny that...) Xenophobia, supremacy and a hint of racism. If you're not willing to call it as it is, that's fine. Whatever helps you sleep at night is no skin off my nose. I mean, if it looks a Duck, it quacks Duck, it walks like a Duck. Surprise! It's most likely a Duck! Sure as hell not a Swan (I know, hard to believe, ain't it?) It's just us calling it by it's name, rather than painting a pretty picture and tip toeing around it. A case of the rose by any other name, if you will... But yeah my point is, on this issue it seems to be 'Jacpher vs. General Consensus, Social Norms and Cultural Sensitivity' I never called the family racist, or the sister. The sister and I are both actively looking at our options, and she knows about this post/forum because we're not just going to roll over and die when we have a clear cut view of what we want, and what our deen allows and teaches us. There is nothing wrong with our intentions, why would a family make the halal hard like this? We believe her parents are being very unrealistic, and their readiness to cut me out of the equasion because I'm from that one single demographic they have a grievence with is unislamic, and unfair on both of us. Period. (Which, it is. No two ways about it. To deny that, is to defy common sense and basic thought.) Oh, just a 'PS'.. Still waiting for that daleel I asked for, not cultural psychobabble. Thanks.

May Allah guide them both. Ameen.

"All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action." People are people. Being Muslim is what matters most. ...Or not?

Thank you for your advice, welcome and correction. I always thought it was Somali, until I heard this particular sister call herself Somalian. (I like being right...) Hmm, daleel? I'm just going by what I know and what I've heard - and some advice the sister and I have both been given by numerous members of the community, Somali and wider has been "Go to a Sheikh, get him to give them naseeha.." What would you say about going along to the 'chat' with me they wish to have insha'Allah? Would you not call the xenophobic attitude against other ethnicities (that you seem to be trying to justify, and I'd certainly call quite prejudiced) somewhat ethnocentric and indeed unislamic as well? I would, free of any doubt. Deen before dunya, people. I mean, watch what you say against your brothers even if they are not of your culture, Islam undoubtedly promotes unconditional brotherhood, not exclusivist and supreme attitudes. Fear Allah. The parents have said, they'd have no problems with other races whatsoever. The problem is who my family are, fullstop. So basically, anyone bar a revert with no Muslim family. (I hope I have stayed respectful in this post inshaAllah.)

Terrible, terrible stuff. Just about to flick on a news channel and see what's up now.

HTC > All. Anyone who disagrees is not a friend of mine. I know, big threats right there made by the newbie to the forums.

MashaAllah! But, I'm sure in history there's been younger unrecorded, right?

Zain Bhikha - Have You Heard?

Salaams everyone. Firstly I'd like to thank the Admin for accepting me even after my protest e-mail asking how to 'up my chances' on being validated. Shows dedication to being a part of the community, right? Hope you all like me and hope to make many a new friend here insha'Allah. I am new here, with a query. Be it right or wrong, a Somalian sister and I met online and chatted with intentions of marriage. So much, is in the past and been done. Be it right or wrong, we've met in person and have told one another straight out that we wish to get married inshaAllah. Alhamdulillah, right? Well, yes, but no also. We're having some issues despite the baraqa in our desires, thus I have joined this forum. I guess to learn more about the culture of the family I wish to marry into inshaAllah, but also to get some advice here in this thread. From what we know, Islamically for parents to reject a potential partner for their child the reason must be Islamically relevant. What has in fact happened is (possibly) culturally relevant or just their preference (Allahu alim), rather than Islamically. It's a shame. They have said no to us, but have still said they want to have me over to have a chat with me (which, to me doesn't make a whole lot of sense, if they have indeed said no.) Their response from what I've been told is kind of like "MashaAllah, he is a Muslim brother, but his family are not of the believers and will lead you all astray and we don't want to be held accountable for that". I just can't help but find it so ridiculous. The glimmer of hope is, however, I will still be meeting with them inshaAllah, as per their wishes and ours. Really hoping I don't get ripped a new one for posting this. :eek: Thanks for reading. Opinions/Advice? Wasalaam. Br. CD0000