Salaam Allah`s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "Among my people there are four characteristics belonging to pre-Islamic period of ignorance which they do not abandon: 1. boasting of high rank, 2. reviling other peoples` genealogies, 3. seeking rain by stars, and 4. wailing. And he (further) said: If the wailing woman does not repent before she dies, she will be made to stand on the Day of Resurrection wearing a garment of pitch and a chemise of mange. Sahih Muslim Hadith 2033 Narrated by Abu Malik al-Ash`ari

Here's a beautiful du'aa to make when one is depressed or distressed: Allaahumma 'innee 'abduka, ibnu 'abdika, ibnu 'amatika, naasiyatee biyadika, maadhin fiyya hukmuka, 'adlun fiyya qadhaa'uka, 'as'aluka bikulli ismin huwa laka, sammayta bihi nafsaka, 'aw 'anzaltahu fee kitaabika, 'aw 'allamtahu 'ahadan min khalqika, 'awista'tharta bihi fee 'ilmil-ghaybi 'indaka, 'an taj'alal-Qur'aana rabee'a qalbee, wa noora sadree, wa jalaa'a huznee, wa thahaaba hammee . O Allah, I am Your slave and the son of Your male slave and the son of your female slave . My forehead is in Your Hand (i.e. you have control over me) . Your Judgment upon me is assured and Your Decree concerning me is just . I ask You by every Name that You have named Yourself with , revealed in Your Book , taught any one of Your creation or kept unto Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You , to make the Qur'an the spring of my heart, and the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my distress.

Dont you know Shar ma arke that the maturity of 19yr old girl surpasses that of a man of 24?

Salaam sis Zeno I am definately interested in Quran memorisation program in London. I have been looking for this for over 4months. So please get me the details. Kheyr Allah ha ku siiyee.

A sister from the Gulf embraces Islam Feb 17,2007 Short Description:A sister from the Gulf embraces Islam...... Alsalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatu Allah Wa Barakatuh(Peace and blessings by upon you all ) Praise be to Allah for lighting my heart with the light of Islam, made it possible for me to find the right path, Peace and blessing be upon the prophet of Allah. . At first I would like to indicate that the situation I ended up in was a natural result of negligence and carelessness. My story started before I was even born, my father is a Muslim from the (Arabian) Gulf, he married my Christian Arabic mother on a condition that she embraces Islam after getting married. My father and mother both got married In a European country –where they had studied-. After six months of the marriage my mother refused the idea of accepting Islam, therefore my father decided to divorce her for breaking a major condition of their marriage. At that time my mother was pregnant of me, however that didn’t stop the divorce to take place. My mother then went back to here home country where I was born. Soon after, Dad asked her to take me back, but Mom refused for maternal emotions and insisted that I stay with her, Dad accepted her opinion and left me with my Christian mother. As for my dad, my relationship with him was based on his monthly money transfer that he was committed to me, as well as some occasional calls, I was to meet him once every two years or maybe more… even though I was carrying documents stating that I am a Muslim from the Gulf, however, I didn’t know anything about Islam and the Gulf except what I used to take in geography and history classes, or through what I had observed from the Muslims that I used to see in my mother’s country. I used to study in a catholic school and go with my Mom to church; I lived like that for 18 years…I was Muslim by name that used to practice Christian rituals. It is true that I was sluggish in my worship, and hated going to church, but I was blaming myself and always promised myself to become a better Christian in the nearest future.. I used to live the careless teen life, I was out all the time spending the nights. I had friends from both genders. My mother used to advice me on some things, but after I had finished high school I didn’t earn a great GPA that will permit me to enter a university that I liked in my mother’s country, so I decided to study in my father’s country. When I told my father about my plan to study in his place, he didn’t care much, all he asked me was “ where will you live?! I understood that he didn’t want me to live with him, I suggested to have my Mom and maternal step brother to travel and live with me, since my step father had passed away ‘who I used to call Father’. Dad had accepted this idea, and decided to carry out all the costs associated with this trip including the apartment rent, food, and to increase my monthly salary. This tripe was a major turnover in my life, I started learning about Islam from the Muslims themselves. The most thing that had attracted me was, the young girls who covered their heads with ‘Hijab’ scarf, I felt so jealous from them, because I have imagined them as saved diamonds by a piece of black velvet, but I was almost half naked just like an advertisement in a newspaper that attracts a few people, even those few don’t last, soon they would use this newspaper for their kitchen or throw it in the trash. During my first year in the university I asked my mother about Islam,- I was so attached to her- but she gave me an answer that I’ll never forget… She said: “I was impressed about Islam before you and married your father, I was a believer of that religion, but after getting to know it closer I became sure that it is not a religion from God… it was just rubbish things from an ignorant Arabic man who didn’t know how to read or write… so how can an educated person like you allow an ignorant man play with her mind and try to adjust here life?...” I was silent and accepted here talk, to be honest I didn’t bother myself anymore, because I was enjoying my free open life… Three years passed during which I had flashes of thought about my religion… I was addicted to the Internet and a frequent visitor to the PalTalk rooms for a full year. One day I entered the room of “Izhar Alhaq”(i.e showing the truth) by mistake, in which I found people showing the dark side of the Christianity, and I had known that a different room was talking bad about Islam. I lost my feelings between both religions between Islam that I’ve been labeled with in my documents plus it is my father’s religion, and Christianity that I was raised with plus it is my mother’s religion… Since my feelings go towards both religions, I decided to find myself in this religion issue… so I stayed for two months shifting and listening to both the Islamic and the Christian room, I gave each room two hours ‘listening only’. After knowing the two religions I started having questions… so I began asking the administrators of both rooms for a whole month. I found warm welcomes and a listening ear from the Muslims more than the Christians, which had amazed me. The only answers I used to get from the Christians when I asked them about the ideas I got from the “Izhar Alhaq” room, is that they are lyres or that it is in the old testament… Old Testament??????? How can a holy book be for a certain period and then get replaced with new book, written by a created person which they call the new testament???? However, the Qur’an is one book! I have compared between both religions and found that Islam is the one that my mind and natural feelings move towards, where the cleanness, justice, and dignity lay . So after three months I chose Islam as my religion, I then visited ‘Hamel Almesk’ room “in PalTalk” to learn more about my new religion. I noticed that the people there were competing to help me especially brother ‘Muslim’ and brother ‘Albalsam Alshafee’ Jazahum Allah Khair… Through them, I was introduced to some books, and websites on Islam. I have not faced any difficulties with this religion since its the religion of fitrah (i.e. nature). I announced the ‘Shahadatain’ in ‘Hamel Almesk’ room, then I took a shower, followed by two ‘Rak’ah’ prayers. After three days I wore ‘Alhijab’ (i.e. the head cover), through which my mother knew about my Islam… I can’t say nor describe what she said and did to bring me back to Christianity -because I am making my story brief - she even offered to allow me live a secular life without any limits… can you imagine this call from a mother to her daughter. She even tried to tear up the Qur’an once, but I showed up at the right time.. She tried in various ways, but couldn’t defeat my determination on Islam , I promised her that my religion would not affect her life, so she would leave me live freely… Now after three months of being a Muslim, I know about Islam more than those who were born Muslim. Do you know why? Because I chose to enter Islam, and left out my friends and my free life according to the western definition of the free life, all that for the sake of Allah, Allah has become my lover whom I work sincerely for, I knew by being a Muslim I am pleasing my Lord... I looked after my religion and ‘all praise are due to Allah’ I became very good in “Tajweed” and have memorized chapters of the Qur’an. I didn’t leave nor delay a single prayer… Brothers and sisters I hope you get to know Islam the way I did, so think and ponder into Allah’s rulings that way you’ll get attached and closer to it. Thanks and sorry for the lengthy story, even though I haven’t mentioned many parts of my story. I am 21 years old now, in my last year at the university. Regards, Your sister: Muslimah. Source: http://www.islamhouse.com/p/6005

I wonder if other muslim players get the same treatment in the premiership.

HUMILITY by Ibrahim B. Syed, Ph. D. In Arabic Tawadu means modesty and humility. Humility is the quality or state of being humble. The virtue of tawadu is the opposite of arrogance, pride and haughtiness. Humbleness means not assuming, not pretentious, insignificant, and lowly. We must put all our pride away. We must always thank Allah when we pray. All of us are equal to one another, and no one's better than anyone. What distinguishes us from others is the faith we have which Allah sees, deep inside our hearts. One should try hard to simply be humble and never act too proud. It's always best to be modest and keep our feet on the ground. Because pride will eat us up inside if we're arrogant and loud. One can sincerely confess, "Everybody else is good but I am bad; everybody else is wheat but I am chaff", and then those of the highest stature in the heavens are kissing him on the head. Prophet (pbuh) said: "Whoever is humble, God exalts him, and whoever is haughty, God humiliates him." This means that being really great is inversely proportional to behaving as being small. This could be discerned from the lives of Prophets, Sahaba (companions of the Prophet (pbuh), Saints, great scholars, great men and women, Noble laureates. Humility in the Companions A Companion sees Caliph ‘Umar (RA- may God be pleased with him), carry water in a pitcher on his shoulder and asks him: ‘What are you about, O Caliph of God’s Messenger?’ Hadrat ‘Umar (RA), who is one of the foremost in nearness to God, answers: ‘some envoys have come from other countries. I have felt some conceit (excessively high opinion of oneself, one's appearance or ability: vanity) in my heart and wanted to suppress (subdue) it.’ ‘Umar (RA) used to carry flour on his back. Once he accused himself while giving sermon from the pulpit and he did not respond to those who criticized him. Like ‘Umar, Abu Hurayra (RA) carried wood for some time while he was the deputy governor of Madina. When he was the chief judge in Madina, Zayd ibn Thabit kissed the hand of Ibn ‘Abbas, and Ibn ‘Abbas, known as the Interpreter of the Qur’an and the Scholar of the Umma, helped Zayd get on his horse. Imam Hasan (RA), the Grandson of the Prophet, upon him be peace and blessings, sat together with some children who were eating bread crumbs and ate with them. Once Abu Dharr (RA) offended Bilal Habashi (RA) and in order that Bilal might forgive him, put his head on the ground and said: ‘If the blessed feet of Bilal do not tread on this sinful head, it will not rise from the ground.’ All these events and many similar others are instances of humility. Both God Almighty and His Messenger emphasized humility so much that one who knows of it feels no doubt that servanthood consists in humility. The Qur’anic expression, "the servants of the All-Merciful are they who walk on the earth in modesty, and if the impudent (rude people) offend them, they continue their way saying ‘Peace!’ (25:63). The Qur'an praises humility, and the Divine statements; Allah loves a people who are "humble toward believers" (5:54) and merciful among themselves. Allah (SWT) says, "You find them bowing down and falling prostrate (48:29)". These are expressions of praise for their ingrained humility reflected in their conduct. Concerning humility, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) declares: " God has ordered me that you must be humble and that no one must boast to another. Shall I inform you of one whom Hellfire will not touch? Hellfire will not touch one who is near to God and amiable (agreeable) with people, and mild and easy to get on with. God exalts one who is humble. That one sees himself as small but he is truly great in the sight of people. O God! Make me see myself as small. " Nabi Kareem (pbuh) lived as the most humble of people. He stopped at the places where children were, greeted them and played with them. If someone held him by the hand and wanted to lead him somewhere, he never objected. He helped his wives with housework. When people were working, he worked together with them. He mended his shoes and clothes, milked sheep and fed animals. He sat at the table with his servant. He always welcomed the poor warmly. He looked after widows and orphans. He visited the ill, followed funerals and answered the call of the slaves in the community. The beloved servants of God, from Rasoolullah (SAS), to Caliph ‘Umar (RA) and the Umayyad Caliph ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-’Aziz and from him to numerous saints, purified and perfected scholars, and those honored with nearness to God, have held that the sign of greatness in the great men and women is humility and modesty, while the signs of smallness in the small is arrogance and vanity, and they aimed thereby to guide people to the way of becoming perfect men. For those who have realized their nothingness before God Almighty are always balanced in both their religious lives and their relations with people. They have no problems with either the revealed truths of religion or in matters related to human reason. If Qur’anic revelations appear to them as contradictory to human reason or established rational or scientific facts; instead of objecting to them, they try to learn the truth of the matter. Those who have achieved humility are completely convinced of the superiority of the revealed truths. They are certain that it is impossible to be prosperous in the Aakhirah (other world) by following the ways that oppose the Qur’an and the Sunnah. They find the greatest source of power is to become an Abdullah (in servanthood to God). In reality, one who worships God never lowers himself to adore anybody else. Sa'id Nursi Bediuzzaman 1 said: " Do not boast of yourself in a way to see yourself as greater than others. Those who are truly humble do not attribute to themselves the fruits of their work and efforts, nor do they regard as a cause of superiority over others. They give credit to Allah (SWT) for their successes." In short, just as humility is the portal (entrance) to good conduct or being characterized with the qualities of God (such as generosity, merciful, helpful, forgiving, etc.), it is also the first and foremost means of being near to both the created and the Creator. The time when a believer is nearest to God is when he is prostrate (Sajada) before Him. Humility of Abu Bakr Hadrat Abu Bakr (RA) was very humble. When he would see a bird, he would sigh that he were like such a bird. He would often say that he would prefer to be a hair on the body of a Muslim. When he went to perform the 'Hajj', and some people walked in his train (caravan), he asked them not to follow him, but to go their own way. Before becoming the Caliph he used to milk the goats in the neighborhood. After becoming the Caliph when Abu Bakr passed the street, one of the women remarked "he has become the Caliph and he would no longer milk the goats." Abu Bakr heard these remarks and said that the caliphate made no difference to him, and that he would continue to milk their goats. If any one praised him, he would say, "O Allah, You know me more than myself, and I know myself more than these people who praise me. Make me better than what they think of me, and forgive those sins of mine of which they have no knowledge, and do not hold me responsible for what they say." Ali’s humility 2 Hadrat Imam Ali (RA) was humble, detested showiness (pretension) and conceit (haughtiness, pride, superiority, vanity, and self-importance). Even as Caliph he used to sweep the floor of his own house, chop wood for fuel, carry water on his shoulders, mend his own shoes, wash his own clothes and milk his goat. Ali's (RA) wife Fatimah (R.Aa) did similar domestic jobs with her own hands, grinding wheat in the hand-mill, baking bread, lighting the oven, washing the dishes and tending to her children. One day with when he was returning home with a bag of dates from the bazaar, he received many offers from people anxious to carry the bag for him. Hadrat Imam Ali (RA) refused them all, saying, "Whosoever is responsible for looking after his children, has the bigger responsibility of carrying the burden himself." Ali (RA), was often seen walking barefooted and on one occasion when he happened to be riding a horse he was distressed to find people following him on foot. When he asked them what they wanted, he was told that they felt elated by walking in his retinue (entourage, followers). To this Ali (RA) replied, "Go back to your business. By walking behind a rider, you will breed feelings of inferiority in yourselves and infect me with arrogance (conceit)." On another occasion when Ali (RA) was discussing the essential qualities of a ruler in a sermon, a member of the congregation rose and praised Ali (RA) for his eloquence. Ali (RA) said that his subjects ought not to praise him, for he wanted no flattery, being all too conscious of his own unworthiness. Concluding his sermon he said, "To a person who has been influenced by the superb Majesty of God, everything else appears petty (little, trivial, insignificant) and frivolous (playful). He looks upon all other things as shallow and trivial. The worst ruler is one who is given to pride and arrogance and hears flattering words from others. All praise is due to God. You should not praise me because I herewith declare before God and all of you that are here, that I have many responsibilities, which still lie undischarged. In the face of this how can any one applaud me and consider me praiseworthy? You should not accord me that treatment which is only befitting to tyrants. Neither become afraid of me nor ever hesitate to tell the truth. Do not show any consideration to me if you feel that I am wanting in justice, and never conceal the truth from me. I cannot trust any flatterer (one who praises too much, toady) because he might mislead his tempting talk and me might beguile (entice) me into vainglory (vacuum, vagabond). I pray to God to save me from an erroneous path. We men are all alike and there is no other Master than God." Sayings of Imam Ali (RA) 3 "Humility is your best friend in Life. If you are humble, your humility shall help you in your difficult time. Anyone who falls into the grip of an unkind person, and then talks to him with humility, his humble talk shall give relief to him. By humility he shall always be respected. Humility is a light in your life. Your life shall be enlightened with humility. People who come across you and find you humble, shall be delighted to meet you. All people will mark your good behaviour and humility, and they will be satisfied with your humble nature. Humility therefore, is the beauty of life. If you are humble, ALL people shall respect you and offer you a better seat and position. If you prefer to take a lower seat, you will be liked by all. Be humble and you will be very much respected by people who love those who are humble. Remember, everyone desires to take the side of the scale that stays downwards (the scale that is heavy). Man is upgraded by his humble nature. You always respect and salute people with your hand and that hand is called ‘THE RIGHTHAND'. The right hand is liked by people. You also eat meals with your right hand. You will be greatly benefited if you will not keep arrogance in your mind. Your life shall be happy, and you can live a long and happy life. If you have peace and happiness in your heart anyone who will come across you will be delighted and happy. O Momins do not be harsh to anyone in your life and always be humble. Be soft as silk, since silk lasts long. Keep your heart humble and delicate. O Momins, you have seen how green and tender the grass is. Keep your heart soft, tender, and delicate like the grass. Do not be hard and tough like a big tree in the jungle. When there is a storm, a big and hard tree collapses soon but the tender and delicate grass stays safe and sound. Even the wind and storm cannot harm the tender and delicate grass. O Momins, be soft hearted; keep your heart tender and soft like butter. You know that pure butter is excellent. When food is cooked with pure butter, it tastes delicious. Similarly, a delicate heart and mind gives happiness to all. It gives peace and contentment to our body, mind and heart. A narrow-minded person is hard and tough to others. Thus he has lots of enemies. O Momins, if you will talk politely to others, you will be able to capture the hearts of people. A king can tie the hands and legs of people who live in his country, but he cannot tie the hearts of the people. Anyone who knows how to speak politely and sweetly will make all people his friends, and is liked by one and all. Thus he gains immense benefits in life. The Almighty ALLAH blesses anyone who speaks politely and humbly. Talk politely with all people and you will please all. Remember there is Almighty ALLAH in the hearts of all. Therefore, if you will please their hearts, the Almighty Allah will shower His Choicest Blessings upon you. Be kind and polite to all and you will experience, that all will become your good friends. In your daily life you always come across your fellow brothers and sisters, so always be humble, polite and soft to them. A merchant who knows how to talk sweetly finds that his trade increases, his business expands and he can do good business. This world is like a bazaar. Speak politely to capture the hearts of people. In the hearts of all people Our Lord, is seated and if you have the desire to meet our Lord you have to be humble, soft and polite with all your fellow brothers and sisters. O Momins, treat others as the elders. Think yourself as being small. Anyone who understood this high and great principle of LIFE has known the Truth and has expressed the beauty of RELIGION. THE MODESTY OF GOD’S MESSENGER 4 In social life each man has a window called status through which he looks out to see others and be seen. If the window is built higher than his real stature, he tries, through vanity and stretches himself up to be seen taller than he really is. If the window is set lower than his real stature, he must bow in humility in order to look out, to see and be seen. Humility is the measure of a man’s greatness; just as vanity or conceit is the measure of low character. God’s Messenger had a stature as high as to touch the ‘roof of heavens’, so he had no need to be seen. He lowers himself to stay in the world for a while so that people might find the way to God. Since he is the greatest of mankind, he is the greatest in modesty - the greater one is, the more modest he/she is. Rasoolullah (SAS) never regarded himself as greater than anybody else. No one could distinguish him among his Companions except for his radiant face and attractive personality. He lived as the poorest of them, dressed like them, sat among them and ate with them, as he did with slaves and servants. Once, a woman saw him eating and remarked: ‘He is eating as if he were a slave.’ Rasoolullah (SAS) responded to her, saying: Could there be a better slave than me? I am a slave of God. He was once serving his friends, when a Bedouin came in and shouted: ‘Who is the master of this people?’ The answer of Rasoolullah (SAS) was such, that, besides introducing himself, it also expressed a substantial principle of Islamic leadership and public administration: The master of the people is the one who serves them. In the words of Imam ‘Ali (RA), ‘among people, he was one of them’. When he reached Quba accompanied by Abu Bakr (RA) during Hijra, some people of Madina, who had not seen him before, tried to kiss the hands of Abu Bakr, because outwardly, there was no sign to distinguish the Prophet from Abu Bakr. In the construction of the Mosque in Madina after the Hijra, he carried two sun-dried bricks while everybody else carried one. In the digging of the ditch around Madina to defend the city in the Battle of the Ditch, the Companions bound a stone around their bellies because of hunger, but God’s Messenger himself bound two, because he was hungrier than anybody else. Once, a man saw him and, due to his awe-inspiring appearance, began to tremble out of fear. Rasoolullah (SAS) calmed him, saying: ‘Brother, don’t be afraid! I am a man, like you, whose mother used to eat dry bread.’ Again, a woman suffering from insanity pulled him by the hand and said: ‘Come with me and do my housework.’ God’s Messenger went with the woman and did the housework. As reported by ‘A’isha (RAa), mother of believers, God’s Messenger patched his clothes, repaired his shoes and helped his wives with the housework. Although his modesty elevated him to ‘the highest of the high’, he regarded himself as an ordinary servant of God. Once he said: No one can enter Paradise by his deeds. When asked whether he could not either, he answered: I cannot either, but for the Mercy of God. His Companions attempted to do nothing without consulting him or getting his permission or approval. Once, Hadrat ‘Umar came to him and asked his permission to go for (Umra) minor pilgrimage. Rasoolullah (SAS) gave him permission and made this request: Brother, include me in your Du'as (supplications). ‘Umar rejoiced so much at that one day he was to say later: ‘If the worlds had been granted to me that day, I would not have felt the same happiness.’ In addition to the other virtues of the Prophet (SAS), his humility was one of the greatest qualities. As he attained a higher rank each and every day, he increased in humility and servanthood to God. His servanthood is prior to his Messengership, as we mention in the declaration of faith: I bear witness that there is no god but God; I also bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger. He preferred being a Prophet-slave to being a Prophet-king (Prophets David (AS) and Solomon (AS)). God praises his servanthood and mentions him as a servant in several verses of the Qur’an: When the servant of God stood up in prayer to Him, they (the jinn) were well nigh upon him in swarms (to watch his prayer). (Al-Jinn, 72:19) "And if you are in doubt concerning that which We have sent down on Our servant, then bring a Surah of the like thereof, and call your witnesses beside God if you are truthful. (Al-Baqara, 2:23) After the death of Khadija and Abu Talib, Rasoolullah (SAS) became convinced that he could no longer stay in Makkah with any hope of victory or security. Before things became too critical, he went to Ta’if in search of a new base for his faith, but he received there the worst kind of welcome. At a time when he felt himself without support and protection, God manifested His Mercy perfectly and honored him with the Ascension (Meraj), raising him to His Presence. While narrating this incident in the Qur’an, God mentions him, again, as His servant to show that God’s Messenger deserves Ascension through his servanthood: "Glory be to him, Who carried His servant by night from the Holy Mosque to the Furthest Mosque, the precincts of which We have blessed, that We might show him some of Our signs. He is the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing. (Al-Isra’, 17:1) Humility is the most important aspect of the servanthood of God’s Messenger, who declared: "Whoever is humble, God exalts him, and whoever is haughty, God abases him." Hadrat Imam ‘Ali (RA) describes the Prophet (pbuh), " God’s Messenger was the most generous of people in giving out and the mildest and the foremost of them in patience and perseverance. He was the most truthful of people in speech, the most amiable (agreeable) and congenial (friendly, pleasant) in companionship and the noblest of them in family. Whoever sees him first is stricken by awe of him but whoever knows him closely is attracted to him deeply, and whoever attempts to describe him says: ‘I have, either before him or after him, never seen the like of him, upon him be peace and blessings’. REFERENCES: 1. Fethullah Gulen, Tawadu. On line at www.Islamic-Paths.Org 2. Yousef N. Lalljee. Ali the Magnificent. Published by Tahrike Tarsile Qur'an, Elmhurst, NY 11377-0115, 1981 3. Ibid 4. Modesty of God's Messenger. On line at http://www.thewaytotruth.org/prophetmuhammad/modesty.html source

NB Personally, I dont like weddings. But my socialising have lessened since i got married. Mostly cos my priority changed. I guess it is different for everyone.

May Allah reward you Dr. Good reminder. It is amazing sida ay dunida nala tagto.

Absolutely Loz. Who go out when the goods are at home? I am not a mother, and i dont go out often.

Girls calm down now . No need to get carried away. Darn..I should do some work!

The Feeling of Alienation (Al-Ghurabah) by Umm Muhammad ‘...so do not be deceived by their movement throughout the lands. “[1] Among the realities of faith and facts of life is this: the true adherents to the Straight Path of Allah (as-sirat al-mustaqeem) are a small minority, living as strangers in society. The reason is none other than the deviation of most of mankind from that Path and their excessive attachment to this world. The Qur’an describes the majority of the earth’s population: ‘But most of the people do not know. “[2] ‘No, but most of them do not use their minds.”[3] ‘Most of the people do not believe.”[4] “They are not except like sheep. No, but they are even more astray.”[5] The degree of alienation varies from time to time, place place, people to people for Muslims are a minority among the inhabitants of this earth, and believers are a minority among Muslims. Those of knowledge are few among believers, and those defending the Prophet’s sunnah are even fewer. In respect to this, the Messenger of Allah (saws) said, “Verily, my community among communities is like a white hair on a black bull. “[6] Although they may find comfort in solitude and suffer isolation in the company of those who seek only to socialize these servants cannot neglect their duties because the Prophet (saws) declared, “The believer who mixes with people and patient in the face of their offense is preferable to the believer who does not mix with people and is not patient with their offense.”[7] And Allah reminds them: “The believers are but brothers.”[8] So how can one avoid his brother for whom he cares and. shares responsibility? Always aware of Allah’s presence, however, such souls, seldom seek companionship elsewhere, knowing that He alone: can comprehend their concerns, appreciate their efforts and relieve their sorrows. And knowing that whatever the people might think, Allah enumerates and rewards that which is unnoticed - sincerity of intention, conscientiousness in deed, and pain born patiently in the heart. So these servants of Allah are careful to avoid what is doubtful or might possibly lead to Haram (that which is unlawful) and are indifferent to that which is of no benefit in the Hereafter. They fear Allah when dealing with others and even more so when dealing with the subtle affairs of their own hearts. They refuse to compromise tawheed, and seek oppurtunities for Jihaad. They cling to the sunnah when people have abandoned it and avoid innovation in religion while people find it good. They know the gravity of their sins and strive for forgiveness from their Lord. They are the ones whom the Prophet (saws) praised when he said, “Certainly Islam began as [something] alien, and it will become alien once again as it began. So, blessed are the aliens." [9] Yet, human souls were created as social beings with a natural enjoyment of companionship and feelings of loneliness during periods of isolation. Therefore, Allah (subhanahu wa ta ‘ala) assures those who travel on His Path that, in spite of temporary alienation from contemporaries, they do belong to the best company of mankind — none other than the prophets, their supporters, the martyrs and the righteous[10]. Such is the reason for the supplication: “O Allah, guide me among those You have guided.”[11] Remembering one’s companions removes sadness from the heart. Although they may be rare throughout the servant’s lifetime, he can certainly look forward to a joyful reception in the Hereafter. Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Every time you feel the loneliness of isolation, remember your companions who have preceded you and be eager to join them; and do not be concerned with others, for they will not avail you at all before Allah. And if they call out to you during your journey, do not turn to them, for whenever you respond to them, they will take you and set you in another direction.” Some early scholars used to advise, “Keep fast to the path of truth, and do not succumb to loneliness because of the few who tread it; and beware of the path of falsehood, and do not be deceived by the many headed on it to destruction.” In the words of Allah (subannahu wa ta ‘ala): “Say, Not equal are evil and good, even if you are impressed by the abundance of evil”[12] “And if you obey most of those on earth, they will lead you astray from the way of Allah. They follow nothing but speculation, and they are not but those who falsify “[13 ] In another sense, however, the believer shares the company of all those creations that worship and praise Allah day and night throughout the universe, and thus, he is actually among the ranks of the majority of His creation. “To Allah gives praise that which is in the heavens and that which is on the earth. "[14] For in addition to that portion of Jinn and mankind who worship Allah, the animals and plants are worshipping and praising Him. All the angels filling the heavens worship Allah. Seemingly inanimate bodies worship Allah. All forms of energy and matter worship Allah, submitting to the physical laws He has established for creation and praising Him in their own particular way. “And there is nothing that does not praise Him, but you do not understand their praise.”[15] Finally, and above all, Allah Himself is with the righteous servant,[16] supporting his efforts and reassuring him.[17] So while Shaytan will attempt to infect him with loneliness and despair, his plan is frustrated and defeated by the realization that the believer is in harmony with the entire universe in submission to the will of Allah, whereas those who vainly try to oppose Him are but a small minority that will surely be overcome. If the adherent to the Straight Path feels himself to be a stranger in this world, all men, in fact, are such. They were not created for this life but are merely travelers along the road to the final destination. So, whoever travels light, sending provisions on before him, will ease his burden and find his home in order upon arrival. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Footnotes 1 Surah Ghafir 40:4. Activities not disciplined by fear of Allah may appear impressive but are, in fact, void of blessing in this life and the next. 2 Surah Yusuf 12:21. 3 Surah al-Ankabut 29:63. 4 Surah Ghafir 40:59. 5 SurahAl-Furqan 25:44. 6 Al-Bukhari. 7 Ahmad and at-Tirmidhi - saheeh. 8 Surah al-Hujurat, 49:10. 9 Muslim and Ahmad. 10 See Surah an-Nisa’, 4:69. 11 From du ‘aa al-qunut taught by the Prophet (saws). Related by an-Nasa’i — hasan. 12 Surah al-Ma’idah, 5:100. 13 Surah al-An’am, 6:116. 14 Surah 59:1, 61:1, 62:1 and 64:1. 15 Surah al-Isra’, 17:44. 16 See Surah an-Nahl, 16:128. 17 “Do not weaken or grieve while you are superior” (Surah Ali’-Imran, 3:139) If you are suffering, they [too] are suffering, but you expect from Allah that which they do not expect " (Surah an-Nisa’, 4:104) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lily He was 19, and I was 24 so technically I was an older woman. And believe you me girl, it was an experience Everywoman needs to experience this at least once in her life. In fact my next marriage will be to a younger stud

I knew there was a story there Loz.

meoiw Lily cadeey

Would you pay for a date with a Cad? Tired of sensitive, considerate men, British women are paying to date bad boys who'll treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen. Laura Millar signs up with the dating agency where tears before bedtime guaranteed. When it comes to dating, I am my own worst enemy. Well-meaning friends have set me up with plenty of caring, sensitive guys who shared their problems and aspirations, asked me questions about myself, paid for dinner and didn't lunge at me afterwards, but every encounter left me strangely dissatisfied. Pleasant and polite is one thing, but what I really want is passion: smouldering glances, a heady rush of hormones, and the prospect of stubble rash the morning after from a man who looks like he knows how to steer an Aston Martin with one hand while mixing the perfect martini with the other. I want to be waiting by the phone, longing for it to ring, and consoling. myself with flashbacks from a night of pure, sensual sin. You don't really get that from a bloke who works in accounting. But you do get it from a cad. So when London bon vivant and man-about-town David Piper, 25, launched the International Cadogram Service in April this year, I couldn't call him fast enough. His agency offers eight assorted rogues, dandies and bounders to choose from; you simply let them know what you'd like to hire them for - from accompanying you on a shopping trip to squiring you at dinner - and where to meet. So far, more than 50 high-powered working women have signed up, and David plans to launch in the US later this year. Cads aren't cheap; one date is $1200. But, as the website says: "What would you rather - another dreary date wit an inelegant, selfish, boring and boorish dullard, complaining of his sensitivities and problems at work, telling the same stories while checking his BlackBerry? Or a zest-filled, lightning encounter with a masterly raconteur, a rakish man of the world, someone who will hold doors open for you, take command of the situation, pay you undivided attention in the most stylish manner?" No contest. I set up a date with David himself. The Date We've arranged to meet at 8pm at Sketch, a stylish Mayfair bar, and I get there 10 minutes early so I can arm myself with a little Dutch courage. Forty minutes later, he's still not arrived, and I'm starting to think I've been stood up. But all of a sudden, David flounces in - a slim, dandyish figure clad in a beige suit jacket, accessorised with a silk scarf and alligator-skin shoes. He strides over, clutches my hand, kisses it, and proceeds to apologise profusely. It transpires a friend just announced his engagement so he stopped off for "a few" glasses of champagne. I'm all set to be huffy, but when he sits down opposite me, pulls me towards him and fixes me with the bluest, most penetrating stare I've ever been, well, penetrated with, I'm sorry to say I melt. "Darling, I'll make it up to you," he says smoothly, and proceeds to look around for a barman. "There's a waitress just there," I tell him, pointing out the attractive blonde hovering nearby. "Why would I want her when I've got a beautiful woman sitting right here?" he purrs, and I'm starting to feel a little unnerved by how seductive one man's full attention can be. Totally unbelievable! Why would any woman to PAY to date with a git? They are tubeey taano everywhere.

Salaam The DiscoverU project is quite expensive. it appears to be life-style coaching for personal development. But Inshallah I will check the Islamonline university. I really couldnt find anywhere to go to learn the Quran in the UK.

When an older woman dates a younger man, she spoils him for all the women. I used to get a lot of attention from younger men before I was married...they were adorable, and most eager to please, kinda like a puppy

I would have been fired, if i was to work from home. Dont you think they will want prove of what you have done when you were 'supposedly' were working from home? serenity I am addicted to London. Waan u soo xiisaa when I am away from it.

Salaam Xalimo My family swears by Camomile Tea. It does wonders. Another thing, I tend to sleep when I am tired, so do exercise, tire yourself out. Put a music on and dance hard. When you gt tired, sleep tends to come. Or Use the help of shaytan. Read Quran/hadiths, you will find yourself falling sleep. I remember when I couldnt sleep one night. So I went into the living room, and prayed and read quran. After 1hr, I found myself falling sleep. Those are my ways.

Those younger women/older men relationship are mostly very short lived it seems. We all know about candy. Come on eveyone. It is sweet now and again but fattening they say.

I have to say, whilst somali women are hard working bunch, they are not subtle, tactical enough to get the best of their husbands. Some men are kakanoos who dont get jack no matter how subtle you are. My grandma used to that men are kids cagaweyn. But I cant accept this. Husbands should be our equal, they should be on our intellectual levels (or we should be on their intellectual levels), have a good communication and most importanly, wives should make the house meel loo soo xiisaayo. We (husbands and wives) dont put the effort in our marriages. Which is why divorces are rife in our society. Marriage is bringing 2 people sometimes from different background, education levels, history etc. Find compromise early in the marriage. KK I think you have found the balance there. As long as he is happy and you are happy, it is all good sista Allah ha kuu ziyaadiyo. Dabshid Somali women i know have a cause for concern. Not sure in UAE ( i think that is where you are) but in London, good husbands who take the responsiblitiy of their family and spending time at home with their kids are rare. Skipper About the flowers, it was just one of the romantic things he does..but western or not, pleasing your woman is must whether that be an eastern, western, southern or northern culture

Most wives are romantic. Wax la wada ayey waayeen though.

If any woman wants a romantic husband, she needs to push him gently into that direction. They need reminding once in a while. But as Keyf says, those women better have a chat with their husbands and not their friends. For instance I got large bouquet cos I dropped verry subtle hints here and there. And he thought he got it all by himself Bless him.

^^ are you sure, you want to ask? About being 'not so bad' player, did you guys play together before?