Originally posted by Paragon: quote:Originally posted by Cambarro: Waar yaanan u dhameystirin ragga. Raggu waa rag dee. A very wise advice. Isqabasho wanaagsaneydaa. I still stand by what i said earlier. Here is a story I would like to share: Abd al-Malik (Radiyallaahu 'anhaa) said: "When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, as she was made ready to be taken to the groom, her mother, Umamah came into her room to advise her and said: "O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise. "O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father's wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them. "O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you. "Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you: "The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allah. "The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume. "The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry. "The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management. "The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you. "Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.[/QB] The above advice is certainly out of date and one-sided, but there is much wisdom here if you look it as mutual advice for how the husband and wife should treat each other. So both partners should serve one another, please one another, protect one another, etc.

^^ Gotta help a brother in need

Lily, I wasnt talking about the older generation being smarter or dumber. I was talking about the romantic front. Granted..somalis love to talk, but never about what happens in the bedroom. Ngonge No matter how you look at it, the closest a man became to being romantic was "Naa ma isku weyso dhowranaa" and however much gabay and geeraar were recited, it didnt translate into reality. Men somehow had/have desires greater than women, hence the filth gabay/geeraar and the multiple wives. Somehow I cant imagine a group of Somali ladies huddled together two hundred years ago and having a gossip session about all sorts of bedroom matters. Our women were quite conservative and never used to utter anything about bedroom affairs to each other. They still dont. I was that little girl listening in when many aunties used to speak of a man that chatted them up. That was the highlight and as far as it got to. When they are married, no one spoke of the marital relations except to be geesi the first time Val "At the rate we are going, even the ability to inhale and exhale oxygen will be credited to the West soon (eg, why should we breathe just because westerners do?)." Aw come on. I dont think it will ever get that bad. But tell me where did we get "flowers, dinner etc" if it wasnt from the western culture?It certainly didnt come from a somali culture. Give credit where it is due..for better or for worse.

lool hunguri I still stand by the TV. But in that list CC gave, did she include the postman or the milkman?

lool..you'd think so.. Dont worry ibti..you will open a school for the sisters there. They still havent a clue unless they have been divorced or widowed before and they are in their second or third marriage. Then she can say "war heedhe, na dhaaf dhooroyahow, kii hore baa korontadeens shideye"

lool Hunguri..Yup..he aint deaf either. Besides the driplets of water would fall on him when she is handing him the tea...Am i right or am i right?

^^ Is the Dr Asha Samad the only Somali in the panel? Whatever happened to 100s of Somali professionals in the country? How about inspirational Somali mums?

That doesnt mean he aint got imagination.. especially when she told him that she is in the shower.

Originally posted by Valenteenah: Cambaro , I don't disagree except on the point of one not knowing any different when it comes to good lovemaking because there's nothing to compare to. This is an oft-propagated statement which isn't true. One doesn't need to have a comparison available to tell a good performance from a bad one. It would seem obvious, at least to me, that if it's a good performance then both will enjoy it. If it's bad, then one or both will not enjoy it. I think there are enough books and manuals on the subject to inform and enable one to tell the difference between the two. When something directly affects you, as this would, you need to be fully aware of what you're getting into and you need to be able to look out for your interests (i.e. ensure your needs and marital rights are fulfilled). Actually Val, I disgaree. Above may be true nowadays but in the era of our mums, they couldnt have known the difference. I have this opinion that in the olden days, they werent meant to enjoy it. It was for recreation purposes only. So whatever they had, they had to endure it.

Salaam Ameen I was as western as they get when i got married. I wanted flowers, chocolates, special trips, dinners at posh restaurants etc etc. My hubby isnt the romantic sorts but since i was asking for all this, he was doing it. But then i thought to myself..why waste money on these romantic notions that isnt in my deen or culture. So i went back to read the seerah of our nabi (saw). The married life of the prophet himself is upheld as the model of Muslim conjugal bliss: http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2006/781/feature.htm Eventually i really realised the little things partners do for each other is more valuable then wasting all this money which we are led to believe is romantce. Just who are we satisfying here? The florists? the restaurants owner ..who? or the wife? The little things such as carrying the heavy stuff, kissing before he leaves, calling you at work to ask about your day, cuntada uu kuu soo ridaayo, doing things round the house is more dear to me than anything else. I know it is a duty however i still thank him for doing his duty and he shows appreciation for fulfilling my duty.

Of course it is the TV I know that these questions are tricky and the answer is always the darn TV.

You are right. Brother Mohamed is doing great job in my humble opinion. May Allah forgive his and his team's shortcomings. Yes the sister is vocal and can stand up for herself, but she aint here though. I think she speaks a lot of sense where a lot of muslims are keeping quiet in what goes on round the world. At least these people we mentioned above are making difference. Dont you agree Kimiya?

Che Only because they ar fighting against gravity. Having children, breastfeeding etc etc whilst men only have to contend with beer belly (funnily enough, it is not an ailment our somali blokes suffer).

Waar yaanan u dhameystirin ragga. Raggu waa rag dee.

lets make 70 excuses for the sister and i do admire her for her sincerity. We arent perfect ourselves so lets make dua for her and for all of us.

http://www.plasticsurgeryhumour.com/img/plastic_surgery_disaster.jpg If these dont put you off, nothing will. Better leave things the way they are.

lool..Kaabo=boss

Yes ibti. It is for both genders. All i am advocating is for the men and women to be aware of their Islamic rights. Si aan la isku soo xad gudbin. Choosing educated wife means educating your children and basically building the foundation of your family. I personally hate to be controlled however having studied the marital Islamic duties from the wife and husband, enabled me to enrich my family and grow together spritually. The prophet (saw) never controlled any woman. They all had their minds and always were on hand to advice him. Sis Aaliya I dont think Taliban and Paragon are bad. I believe they are single and havent experienced the reality on the ground. Once they are married..they will realise the ladies are the kaabo of the home

^^ I totally agree.

^^ If polyandry was permitted in Islam, Hunguri igama fakadeen Falling for someone in cyberworld? You are kidding right?

Meow!!! Those women have their opinion and it is not really an insult to advise these women to grow a backbone. There should be a balance in everything in life. No woman or a man is happy to be domineered unless they are brainwashed to feel that way. Besides who said unmarried women cant give advice married ones?

^^ Trust you to pick on THAT point

Originally posted by Emperor: ^^ I think you two fit perfectly for one another, isku qabta Waarba Kaaleyba...are you the Cilla Black of SOL?

I have watched this programme on BBC4. it was enlightening, however it wasnt the hard-hitting of reporting i was expecting. Mainly because it was the censoring by the govt. Nevertheless it was an eye-openner.

lool Hunguri. You get my point though. You cant ask for the sky and offer the earth