There's a BIG difference between being a single mother with no prospects (i.e. education, stability, ambition, resources, etc.), and a single mother making her own through life despite not having a life partner.

“Must be the recession,that two shilling was worthless.” Really? I guess it’s my turn to examine your thoughtful, worthwhile argument then. “I am assuming your not familiar with the norms of Somali culture, Islamic tradition ,the will of Allah etc etc.” ‘Will of Allah’, eh? As a Somali woman, you would be very wrong. Let’s move on, this is fun. “Anywho,back to the topic.” Promise? “What happened to the men that fathered these children,these women didnt just happen to have these children without contribution from the men.” Who cares? Women must always look out for themselves, and their own well-being and self-interest. Look, life is full of surprises, and sometimes the people you love turn out to be quite horrible –BUT- one must always be prepared for that. Take the necessary precautions! Yes, I agree, some men have failed to be responsible, and mature in their decisions, and life choices. But why should so many women consistently suffer as a result? As the old Islamic saying goes women: Trust in Allah, but TIE UP YOUR CAMEL! And you said I knew nothing about the Somali culture and the ‘Will of Allah’...tsk, tsk! All I’m saying is: get to know the man you’re preparing to commit yourself to before diving headfirst into baby-making territory. “So women are penalized and stigmatised for being the only parent to these children?” Yes. And I too think that’s unfair but that certainly doesn’t mean they don’t have options, and a future. “This is just another form of Women oppression!” ‘Women oppression’? I’m assuming you mean sexism. And if you do, I agree. “The funny thing about men and their views on women is they just seem to contradict themselves over and over.In all wanting what suits them best..e.g A woman working is somehow a social problem - neglectful of her duties blah blah. If she stays at home - she is a burden to him and society,but he doesnt complain of all the labour work his woman performs around the house.Actually he would probably complain she isnt throughly enough when cleaning or washing..” Some men, not all. I don’t necessarily disagree with you here. “If a woman is educated,oh boy! their little male ego's get all intimidate,but dont fear boys. Women are still underpaid,so no worries there,she isnt suddenly going to be the boss of you.[shock and horror of it] If she has children,its a problem.The self centred so and so need to be looked after and their slave is too busy looking after their children - strike that her children,he just released the sperm in pleasure time,does not concern him the out come. Behold she does not have children,oh the barren woman what to do with her,she is useless! chuck her out,next! Men!” Okay, I understand your point. As a feminist, I too am disgusted by the inequality of the sexes in our culture but, as I said before, I still think women need to take responsibility for their life choices. If for no other reason, then to empower themselves in making solid, thoughtful decisions about THEIR money, THEIR marriage, THEIR reproduction rights...etc. on their OWN terms. I am not going to leave my future happiness, and well-being in the hands of someone else, no matter how much I love him. My future partner will play a critical role in my life, but that’s very different from BEING my life. Marriage is a partnership, and although that partnership may be negotiated differently amongst different couples, it still needs to feel equitable, be fulfilling, and remain honest. Many of the characteristics you described about SOME men could easily be revealed if one simply got to know their partners well enough before marriage. A leopard doesn’t easily change his spots. It’s true that some people change after marriage, but a lot can be said about a proper courtship. And if that’s not possible, I urge women to wait before popping out 4-5 kids. Get to know your partner, his habits, and way-of-being. If his values and outlook on life don’t align with your own, get out before it’s too late. Peace, KJ

When women, who lack a solid education and the resources with which to support themselves, marry someone and have numerous children with them they set themselves up for failure. Women cannot and should not rely entirely on a man for their well-being, and the well-being of their children. To do so is naive. Simply put: things fall apart. Also, just because you're married to someone doesn't mean you should start popping out babies like it's going out of fashion. You have to ask yourself: Can we afford it? Can we provide adequately for this child? Do we have the time to devote to this child's nurturing, and education? As a married couple, are we prepared to expand our family? Do we need more time to ourselves to build and strengthen our marriage before we have children? If I were a smart, resourceful guy who had his life together, the last thing I would want is to be married to someone who's only real contribution to my life is her children FROM ANOTHER MARRIAGE. just my two shillings, KJ