^^^LOL @Football squad... Ilaa iyo hada waxaan kasoo kabsanla'ahay walacii i haayay ilaa aan lix bilood soogaaray...OMG, the morning sickness was dreadful, to say the least...But Alhamdulilaah...

Originally posted by Rahima: KK, did you read the bold part ? Yes...

CONGRATS to you and your family... Baarakallaahu laka fil-mawhoobi laka, wa shakartal-waahiba, wa balagha 'ashuddahu, wa ruziqta birrahu. Welcome to motherhood...

Since I had my daughter, who is only a year and four months now, almost everyone I know has been saying I should have another child...ARE THEY MAD (well istaqfurulah)... The way I see it, I still need time with my daughter...Emotionally, econmically, and physically, I am not ready yet...I think once she is more independent (like three or three and half years old), it will be better (God Willing)...That way we (mom and dad) had plenty of time with her; and she can be more involved with her future brother/sister's life (ie. getting the diapers or the lotion for mom, helping with feeding the baby).... I know there is no right or wrong answer, but is it best to have children right after the other, so they can play together and you (mom and dad) can get all your child rearing done at one time; or is it best ot put some time in between the kids?

RAHIMA, In the case of a nanny, it benefits both the child and the mother more than a day care... As I have stated in my previous post: Mom might be away, but the child is still at his/her home...The child is not being dragged outside the home early every morning - summer, winter, spring, and fall too...Not to mention all the traffing the child is gonna sit through, to and from the child care...If the child becomes sick (day cares won't take the child until he/she is well again), the mom doesn't have to look for alternate child care than the day care...If the mom has to work late, she doesn't have to worry, the child is at his/her comfortable home... If it benefits both the mother and the child better than day care, why not...Not to mention, hiring a nanny costs less than day care...

LOOOOOOOOOL@AYOUB...Your respond is funnier than the joke... Rudy, good one...

I was referring to your suggestion of a nanny for our hypothetical gynaecologist mother. She is still not home with her child and misses all the priceless moments, so then why advocate for a nanny? Nanny and day care in this case as with regards to the missing of moments is still the same, no? Mom might be away, but the child is still at his/her home...The child is not being dragged outside the home early every morning - summer, winter, spring, and fall too...Not to mention all the traffing the child is gonna sit through, to and from the child care...If the child becomes sick (day cares won't take the child until he/she is well again), the mom doesn't have to look for alternate child care than the day care...If the mom has to work late, she doesn't have to worry, the child is at his/her comfortable home... I can go on and on about the benefit of having a nanny (whether live-in or out)... Originally posted by Rahima: I think you missed my jab at Aaliyah-re-read it Could it be that may be (and that's just may be), I was having a blonde moment...

Originally posted by Rahima: So Kool Kat, I’m confused, is your objection with day care in itself or a mother not been there for her child’s first moments? I mean it seemed to me you were advocating for the latter and therefore a nanny isn’t the solution, in fact nothing is except that a mother stay home MY DEAREST RAHIMA (by the way I like the name), Both the day care and a mother not being there for her child's first years go hand and hand...If a mother is not there and is working, the child is in day care, right... I never turned this about you, and if you think my intentions were that - I really do A-P-O-L-O-G-I-S-E... N'way all I am saying is that I think that it is best if a mother is there for her child's first years, at least 'til the child is three or so...And it wouldn't hurt the mother's career, at least not much...And like I said b4, if the child is home with the mother, you'll be amazed at how much a mother can teach her child...There are so many free programs provided by the government, where the mother and the child can participate with others just like them... Originally posted by Rahima: Perhaps I work for different reasons than money or seeking a high-flying career, perhaps I work for something more. ^^^Enlighten me on the above statement... Besides, as you state, We as Muslims should be aiming to have as many children as possible... Please tell me how you plan to manage 5,6,7,8 or more children (God Willing) and your career????? Every woman knows what's best for her and her family...Good luck to all of us...Ilaahey lee caruur cafimaad qabo hana siiyo, everything else will fall into place...

Originally posted by Rahima: A woman for example who spent 6 years at medical school and another 4 at graduate school to become a gynaecologist so that she can treat Muslim women is going to find it very hard to give up something she worked so hard for, 10 years of school and thousand of hours at work. In such case, I am sure the mom could afford to hire a nanny...That way the infant could be cared for in a familiar and comfortable environment...It is also convenient for the mom, she doesn't have to dress and pack everything every morning...The infant doesn't get sick often, so that the mother wouldn’t have to find someone else to care for the child while he/she is sick at home...Just to highlight some of the benefits of hiring a nanny...I am sure she can afford it - after all she is a gynaecologist/family practitioner/dentist/banker and so forth...Besides, the cost of hiring a nanny is cheaper than the cost of day care... RAHIMA, walaalo you sound as if these posts are meant to attack you, or you disagree with you...I am pretty sure everyone here is just posting their opinions, not based on your believes... MUNIRA002, you said it well sis...Afkaaga caano lagu qabay... I am sure it doesn't hurt much if I put my "career" on hold for the first few years of my child's life... Here are some pros and cons I found every interesting: UPSIDE of Daycare: ***Always more than one person available to watch, care for, supervise, and feed your child ***Interaction with other children ***Develop social skills at an early age ***Kid's days are pretty much scheduled, routine, and consistent ***Daycare centers don't call in sick ***Kids receive a lot of mental stimulation ***Your house stays neater (although my son can make a mess in minutes) ***The kids enjoy the change of scenery and toys ***English-as-second-language kids have more exposure to English DOWNSIDE of Daycare: ***Laying out their clothes ***Packing nutritious lunches vs. fast food snacks ***Morning rush to get out of the house on time ***Allow extra time to make the stop and drop-off ***Your child screaming, "Mommy don't go!!" ***The guilt and bad feelings because you're leaving them behind ***Less one-on-one attention from caregivers ***Potential personality conflicts at the center between parents and staff ***Potential personality conflicts between the children ***Ethics taught are the centers or the caregiver ***Values taught are the centers or the caregiver ***Possibly no ethics or values taught at all ***Less bonding between parent and child ***Child learns early on that you won't be there for them when they need you ***You don't get to see and experience all the "firsts" that your child goes through ***You can NEVER recapture those things you miss ***When your child has a boo-boo you're not there to make it better ***When your child is excited about what she/he has learned, you're not there at the moment they want to share it with you ***When they're not feeling well you leave them to someone else to care for them ***When they're sick no one will baby them like you will ***More exposure to health issues: ringworm, lice, and colds/flues ***You're not there to kiss away their tears ***You're not there to waylay their fears ***You're not there to set their wild ideas back on track ***No opportunity to have a spontaneous day ***No time to do "nothing at all" together ***To experience the joy of holding and watching your child sleep for hours (hopefully) ***Less time to go to do anything together ***No time to just "play" ***To be your kid's playmate ***To experience getting to be a kid all over again with your child (I would give anything for this) ***Seeing and experiencing life through the eyes of your child ***Not there to put a band aid on the invisible oweee ***Not get to see your child's imagination develop ***Not get to see their personal development as much as you could ***Don't get to see them beaming with pride at their BIG accomplishments ***Infants and toddlers spending 6-8-10 hours a day away from Mom or Dad ***The cost of daycare is an added expense: financial and emotional I am not saying that taking your child to day care makes you a bad mom, only the time you take them to day care makes a world's difference...Like I said before, I don't plan to be a stay-at-home mom forever...Rather, until my daughter is three or even four... AGAIN, NO OFFENSE TO ANY MOM or MOM TO BE, JUST MY OPINIONS...

AALIYAH, I agree with you 110%... Originally posted by Rahima: I do not have children yet, and perhaps once I have them I might change my mind about working full time (I’ll always works or else I’d go crazy) laakiin I’ll always keep in mind that it is a decision that works for me, and the Xaliima or Jane next door is not me. I am glad you brought up this point...Cuz, I was just like you before I had my daughter...But once I had her, everthing (and I mean everthing) in my life changed...Being a career driven woman most of my adult life, the thought of being a stay-at-home mom never ever occur to me... In advance, I don't mean to insult any woman, by any means, this is just my oppinion...I choose to be a stay-at-home mom, simply cuz the benefits outweighed far more than any money I can bring home or anytime being away from my daughter for eight hours a day, five days a week... When my maternity leave ended (which was one year), the thought of a stranger being my daughter's primary caregiver was/is horrendous to me, even if the the day care centre is the best...Being a stay-home mom is a full time job...There is a huge difference in who plays the predominant care of the child (mom/dad/grandparents/close relatives/child care provider)...I just cannot see my child being raised by someone other than family, in what is her most formative years... Being a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean I stay home with my child all the time...We go to the library for story time, I take her with me to the gym where there is a child minding are - she gets to play with other children while I workout (which by the way is very very convenient), we go to the mall, we visit my sisters - where she plays with her cousins, we go to something called EARLY YEARS - for children from 6months - 6yrs... They have different age groups, where the children play games, draw, sing, etc...This is something the parent and the child do together with other parents and children...Which teaches them a lot (ie, story time = time to sit quietly and listen, etc.)...And the fun part is you're there with them...It also helps the parent... Staying home with my daughter gives me a lot of benefits, which I can not put a price on...I get to see everthing from the first smile, to the first giggle, to the first step, to the first word...PRICELESSSSSSSSSSSSS... Being a Stay-at-Home mom should be viewed as a blessing rather than a nightmare...Unfortunately, quality and quantity go hand in hand with being a mom...If you're at home all day with your child, and you're on the phone gossiping and what not...Just cuz you're at home doesnt make you a good mom...Also, if you think spending time with your child is your time together to/from day care, while feeding him/her, or putting him/her; you are wrong...If ever you feel you have to make up for time lost, it is just time lost - you can not bring it back...Every time you're away from your child for a prolonged time, in his/her early years, is time you missed... I am sure I am not gonna be a stay-at-home mom forever...But for now, my daughter is still too young and needs me 100%... Every mom makes her choice and knows what good for her child/family...It does not make her any less mother than the other...Motherhood is a learning process, and if we don't make mistakes we will never learn... A QUESTION THOUGH FOR THE MOMS, at what age is appropriate to send your child to day care? One year, two, three, etc... AGAIN, JUST MY OPINION...

As a mother, I feel bad for babies, when I see them getting dragged to day care... Once my maternity ended (it was one year), I just couldn't bare the idea of being away from my baby for one hour let alone eight hours...It just wasn't worth it for me...So for now I am staying home, until I'm ready to let her go a little bit... I feel if the father earns enough to support the family, the mother should stay home, at least at the early stages of the child...Cuz those first few years are the most important... I really feel for single mothers...More power to you...

***First and foremost, I would not (and that is a big NOT) look at a married man, let alone marry him...That's just sick and pathetic... ***Secondly, I would never be in a long distance relationship, let alone marry the guy while he is still overseas... Marrying a married man is a sign of desperation... I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER PUT MYSELF IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT... But then again this is the opinion of a happily married woman…Keeping in mind I wasn’t born married…I was once single…lol And to answer the question of whether it is dambi or not...I don't think so, she has a valid reason...It is not like she's gonna be young enough to have kids forever...

My favs: -The Cosby Show -A Different World -In Living Colour -Married With Children -Martin -Moesha -I am almost ashamed to say - TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES -The Three Stooges (Curly was my fav) - and yea the show used to come on in the 90's. -Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - Steve Harvey Show -Boy Meets World -Full House -Beavis and Butt-Head -3rd Rock From the Sun -Step By Step -Sabrina, the Teenage Witch -Beverly Hills 90210 -Melrose Place -Roseanne Show -City Guys -Saved By The Bell GOSH, it seems like all I did was watch TV in the 90's...No wonder ineey indhaha ixanuunaan...

Allaha unaxariisto aabo...Samir iyo iimaan

WLC Grant...I doubt you'll find someone you know here on SOL...But you never know...May be the sons and daughters of those you know... Anyway good luck... Originally posted by king_450: Most of the ppl in here are those who born in the late 80's. Try late 70's and early 80's...

UMU, allaha kuufududeeyo walaalo... I remember the pain all too well, even though it has been a year and three months, as if it were yesterday... I am not sure what your plans are for pain relief options, but EPIDURAL has been my fav word since giving birth... Once again, good luck...And let us know the outcome...

I still can not get the second girl's face...OMG I just can not stop thinking of them every minute, ever since viewing it...

Ever since reading this joke, when I see people, I like "What do you call two Muslims having a fight"... Some get the joke and some don't, but it always cracks me up - everytime... Good one...

OMG, OMG, OMG...What the heck... I don't even know what to say...I am almost never ever speechless... What the!!! May be I can say something after aan soo matago...

Originally posted by Khalaf: Facts on marriage show Case 2 are better and longer lasting marriages in particular for the female and she is protected and will be in good hands. True, cuz both of them are busy trying to please the family, rather than live life happily ever after...This marriage is not about them, it is about their parents!!! Though it might work, most of the arranged marriages, one of them (if not both) is unhappy with hiséher life... Is it worth it, I mean worth it to please the parents!!! NOOOOOO...Parents lived their lives, now let their children live theirs!!!!!!!!!!

What's up with all these carab names? What happened to our beautiful Somali names? My fav, For girl - Abyan For boy - Abshir Keep it short, sweet and SOMALI!!!

BARIIS ISKU DHEX KARIS, Ingredients: Basmati rice, meat (beef, lamb, etc), onions, garlic - ground into a paste, cilantro, salt/maggi, oil, ghee for flavoring, and tomatoes. ...Heat ghee or oil in a pan. Add sliced onion and cook until onion is light golden brown. Make sure to stir continuously. ...Add chopped cilantro and garlic pastes to the onion. Add meat, stir for a minute, add some salt/maggi, then add three cups of water to the meat mixture, bring it to a boil, reduce heat, cover and cook until meat pieces are almost cooked. Then add chopped tomatoes. Cook for fifteen minutes on medium heat, stirring occasionally. ...Add the rice, cook for five minutes, stirring occasionally. When the rice is almost cooked, remove it from the stove and put it in a pre-heated oven for 10-15minutes. ...When cooked to your liking, remove from oven. Saxan sooqaado, guro, cun with moos, liin dhanaan, and isbaramuuto... Qado wanaagsan

Originally posted by -Lily-: p.s. I know you mean it out of love but I find that deeply disturbing! Its one thing to put your kid first but for your sole existence to revolve around that kid is unimaginable to me. Are you a mother? -If you are and you don't understand what I mean, good luck. -If you aren't, then you might (and that's just might), understand the meaning of what I wrote one day.

Although, everyday should be mother's day, it is nicer to have one day dedicated to mothers...As a mother, I now have more appreciation and respect for my mother...Don't get me wrong, I've always appreciated and respected my mother...It's just that since I became one myself, I relate to her more... I now know how she felt when I got sick, all the long days and nights she stayed up to make sure I was OK... I now know how she felt when I fell down, to pick me up so quickly, wrap her arms around me and make me feel safe... I now know how she felt when I cried, to put me on her lap and hold me... I now know how she felt when I was sad, to hold me in her arms and tell me she loves me And a lot more... Once you become a mother, you have a whole new prospective in life…You appreciate the little things life has to offer - like your child‘s first steps, first word, first smile, etc…You’re no longer number one, your child is…Your whole existence is for that child… Yes, I celebrate mother’s day…I make sure on that day my mother feels extra special… I thank Allah first and foremost, for giving me such a wonderfur, strong, beauftiful, healthy mother... Then, I am thankful for the way my mom raised me, taught me, supported me, provided for me…She made me who I am today, and without her I am NOTHING… HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!

IN REGARDS TO THE PICTURES OF THE CURRENT PRESIDENT OF SOMALIA AND HIS PRIME MINISTER SHAME ON THE PERSON OR THE PEOPLE CALLING THEM MOST WANTED PPL IN SOMALIA WHILE WE ALL SOMALIS KNOW THEY ARE THE CURRENT FIXTURES OF A COUNTRY THAT HAS BEEN ABUSED FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS. CHECK YOUR HISTORY AND THEN MAKE REMARKS LIKE THESE ONES. THANK YOU AND MAY GOD BLESS SOMALIA.