1. You make ( shah ) before leaving home,when getting to the office,after lunch, when having guests, before the guests leave, after the guests leave and before going to bed. 2. When shops have sale they call your mom. 3. You still have, stored in suitcases, clothes that you used to wear when you were five . 4. You call an older person you've never met before "eedo" or "abti". 5. You hide everything from your parents, but they still think they know everything about you, and make you believe that they actually do. 6. People are never happy with what you've achieve; if you Graduated from school they'll tell you "Inshaallah shahadadda jamicadda", and when u get that "Inshaallah carosadda ", and when you get that "Inshaallah cyal badan", and when you get that "Inshaallah shahadaddoda jamicadda aad ko faraxdid", etc... 7. If you are a boy you start worrying about the Mukhabarat when you reach puberty. 8. Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby, everybody tells you "mabrook" 9.You learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for you. 10. Your dream is holding a different passport. 11. When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting for you at the airport. 13. Every time you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew existed, and they look nothing like your family. 14. You look for universities as far away from home as possible. 15. You always curse at somalies when you are back home, but when you live abroad you only make somalies friends. 16. When you come back from University you still have to live with your parents, and fight over curfew allover again, as if you never left them before. 17. Your relatives alone could populate a small city. 18. Everyone is a family friend. 19. You fight over who pays the mony bill. 20. You teach Westerners to swear words in your language. 21. When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where nobody would go to so you wont bump into family or friends. 22. You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with the biggest mouth. 23. You think you are liberated when you can't even smoke in public 24. If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that you are getting too old. 25. Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your parents. 26. You tell your friends how to rebel against their parents when you can't even stay out past midnight. 27. You always say "Open the light" instead of "Turn the light on" or "get down from the car" instead of "get out of the car." 28. You pronounce your p's as b's (bebsi and bolice) 29. You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he hadto walk miles just to get to school. 30. Your parents were ranked first in school. 32. Your dad swears at you with words that affect himself ( kalab) 33. You tell everyone that you are a successful businessman back home" when you are really just an unemployed goat herder. 34. You feel uncomfortable saying the word 'tease' in English. 35. You smoke as if there is no tomorrow and you only smoke MARLBORO REDS. 37. You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more people and talk really really loud in somali together. 38. You wear a black leather jacket, even when it is 100 degrees outside. 39. you think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time 40. If you are an somali girl you give the look of death to another somali girl who looks better than you. 41. Your aunt is always asking when she can dance at your wedding"

:confused: I don’t see the point here. Look people Somalis live all over the world. I happen to have family in China, Malaysia, Australia, the Middle East, and South ,Central and western Africa and not for getting Western world and even Russia. We are nomads and I strong believe that. It’s in our nature to explore and travel. Its no biggie finding out that there are Somalia in Brazil, I knew that 7yrs ago. A Somali works at the national airport in Brazil and he is a very friendly man. He even helped a cousin of mine when he was on transit in that country.

Asalmau Alaykum people. I came across this recently and found it very funny. Have a read and tell me what you think. Thanks The Funniest Matrimonial Ads FISHERMAN Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat. SALESMAN Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career! ECONOMIST I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the national interest. MATHEMATICIAN Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit. IT CONSULTANT Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue. BUSINESS MAN Wife wanted for company. POLITICIAN I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point) CAR DEALER Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition. FARMER Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading. LAWYER I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever. PILOT Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!! BANKER Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service. ACCOUNTANT Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be a credit to her family. SHIRABI Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come round. Friends come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be ample. MINICAB DRIVER Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from base, erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus. BEGGAR BUILDER Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up. DOCTOR I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me. ARMY COMMANDO My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided. RACE CAR DRIVER A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be able to keep pace! ASTRONAUT I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!

I remember waking up 3 hours early and being too exicted to go back to me. I remember recieving Money from all the uncles and anuties that I run into. I remember going to the local store and buying bag loads of sweet and stuffying meself with it. I remember wearing 4 different outfits in one day. I remember recieving gifts from all my family members and especially the one that had to post their gifts to me. I remember hugging & kissing everyone in the Mosque after the eid prayer.

If she is confident then why not. I should imagine that the couple are in love and have been an item. So WHY NOT. GO ON GIRL ASK AWAY

There is a growing trend of women getting into high paying jobs than their counterparts. Is this a problem for men? A question I would like to ask is “Would you feel secured in your marriage if your wife earned more than you?†Big-Earning Wives (and the Men Who Love Them) BY KIMBERLY GOAD In a growing number of marriages, it's the woman who is bringing home the big paycheck. Is she stressed? Yes. Resentful? A little. Would she trade places with her husband? Not on your life. By the time Jane and John Metcalfe* were ready to start a family, they had both reached a similar level of success. She was vice president of a New York public relations agency, and he was pastry chef at a well-regarded New Jersey restaurant. They were typical Type A personalities working long hours in jobs they loved. Then Jane became pregnant with their first child, and they came face-to-face with the dilemma that affects all working couples with kids: What to do about child care? They didn't want to put their infant in day care. They couldn't afford a nanny. So after much agonizing, they decided that one of them would cut back on work hours to stay home with the baby, while the other continued to work full time. "My husband and I want to give our children traditional things - like a home and a backyard," says Jane, 37. "In the end, our decision came down to: Who had the better job in terms of salary and benefits?" The answer was Jane. She's one of a growing number of women who've become the primary breadwinners in their families. What would have been considered an uncommon role reversal even 10 years ago is now anything but. One in three married women in America is out earning her husband, according to the Bureau of Labour Statistics. "When I started as a financial adviser 20 years ago, there were almost no couples in this situation," says Bob Mecca, a certified financial adviser in Mt. Prospect, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. "Now 40 percent of the couples who come through my door have a wife who earns more than her husband." The simplest explanation for this change is a practical one: Women today are better educated and better prepared for the workforce than ever. "The number of women getting high school, college and advanced degrees is higher now than at any other point in history," says Randi Minetor, author of Breadwinner Wives and the Men They Marry. In fact, women today are more educated than men: In 1998, there were 125,000 more college-educated women than men, according to the Center for the Study of Opportunity in Higher Education. By 2010, that gap is expected to double. A survey on Redbookmag.com of women who earn more than their husbands confirms the impact of these trends. Most high-earning wives said they make the higher salary in the marriage not because they're more aggressive about job hunting or working longer hours, but typically because they are better educated, and therefore landed in a more lucrative field. But this arrangement also reflects a seismic shift in the way husbands and wives view each other, says Stephanie Coontz, director of research at the Council on Contemporary Families and author of the upcoming book Marriage, a History. "Women have earning power, so they're less intent on finding a husband who is a high earner and more interested in finding someone who is an all-around good partner," she says. "And men are letting go of the idea of, 'I should make more or have the more prestigious job because I'm the man.' Instead they're both saying, 'Let's do what's best for all of us.'" It's a modern choice that reflects modern financial and cultural realities, but it also presents new challenges. The same conflicts that rattle every marriage - money decisions, division of household and child-care duties - can become even more fraught when she's the breadwinner. Yet it's also a liberating setup: Let go of traditional earning roles, and you're free to make lots of other choices based not on your parents' marriage, or anyone else's, but rather on what works for you. Here's how some very different couples navigate this new path - and what they've learned that can strengthen any marriage.

All you need to do is go the gym and work out. You need to avoid fatty foods but balance all your proteins, cabs and vegs. Try this for a month and you might get what yiou are looking for. I just dont get it though WHY DO U WANT A BIG A$$$$. ITS VERY UGLY AND DOESNT LOOK GOOD

:confused:

where do you all see yourselves to be in the five years?

Evil has no easy explanation. Everyone is evil and is good. Sometimes we watch ourselves do something evil Frozen in a scream that's never heard. We cannot stop ourselves, so we go on, Knowing somewhere else the horror plays And plays and plays until we are forgiven, Healed by someone's gift of unearned love. When someone has been tortured as a child, Evil, like a mad dog, crouches near. One buries it deep in a vaulted, lead-lined chamber, But zombie-like it stalks the world within. It's strange that darkened children need forgiveness For evil that they suffer, innocent. But guilt's the trademark of humiliation, Burned into the flesh of memory. Love washes over evil like an ocean, Sweeping over seething, fisted anger, Drowning it in cold, unquiet depths, Leaving you weak and weeping on the strand. You wouldn't be yourself without the pain That twists inside like penitential dancers, Making you the stage of some strange beauty, Like no one else, the host of our redemption.

Remember, too, the holy month of fasting. Absorb the word of God like burning sand. Make yourself through prayer a single yearning, A single breath of faith, a single turning, Dawn to dusk a diamond in God's hand. A moment of pure faith is everlasting, Nor need one know aught else to understand.

looooooooooooooooool.

Somalia: UN helps in first steps to re-establish national police force 14 October 2005 – With Somalia riven by factional fighting and lacking a functioning central government for the past 14 years, the first steps have been taken to rebuild a national civilian police force at a United Nations-backed workshop. The two-month-long Seminar and Training Workshop for 65 police officers ended yesterday in the Ugandan capital of Kampala, with the UN Development Programme (UNDP) Rule of Law and Security Programme, which has also staged field missions to identify and prioritize police infrastructure rehabilitation, providing the necessary technical and financial support. “UNDP continues to be committed to the establishment of a civilian police force in Somalia, as this can only be a benefit for all of us,†said Maxwell Gaylard, the agency’s Resident Representative. “Not only does it allow for the protection of human life, but the culture of rule of law then triggers private investment and allows humanitarian and developmental organizations access into areas where they are needed, all which work towards improving the lives of the Somali people,†he added. During the workshop’s first three weeks, high ranking officers of the former Somali Police Force worked on a two-year development plan to rebuild the force that defined command and coordination structures, discussed reactivation of police personnel, reviewed police regulations and laws, conducted training needs analysis and selected officers to participate in the workshop. In the second phase, a comprehensive training programme was developed, including a training syllabus and manual, and trainers were identified and trained. A technical facilitation team composed of law enforcement experts from UNDP and the United Kingdom Department for International Development (DFID) as well as Ugandan police trainers assisted their Somali counterparts through the process.

AS muslim , we know that every thing is in god`s hands. Some women have children in their early teens and other have children as let as 50. IF ITS THE WILL OF ALLAH THEN IT SHALL BE DONE

I just can`t understand how some people can do this you their children? Didn`t :confused: Ethiopia sign the Unversial declaration for the Rights of a Child???????? :confused:

I have to question the way that this trial is to look in the future.I`m not disputing the fact that he killed alot of people during his Reign, but why wasn`t he trialed at the I C J in haag. Most of the judges are shia and lets be honest they have the power at the moment. The fact that if he is found guilty he could be excuted. Most internation lawyers have said that trial was a mock trial similar to ones held after the fall of the USSR. One Law lord called the invasion illegal, with that one becomes bit sceptic about this trial.

Thank you Muhammed for the welcome.

Come on people. We all know that our traditions of having a large family as well as an extended family is what makes Somalis great. When I was at school , no one tried to bully at all I had to say was "I WiLL TELL ALL 24 BOYS TO KICK YOUR BUTT" and I had respect. I love large families. On the other hand Men have to know they must provide for their children and not just rely on the state.

Breast cancer Written by Mr Michael J Dixon, consultant surgeon What is breast cancer? The breast is a gland that consists of breast tissue supported by connective tissue (flesh) surrounded by fat. The easiest way to understand how the inside of the breast is formed is by comparing it to an upturned bush. Its leaves are known as lobules and they produce milk that drains into ducts that are the branches of the breast tree. These in turn drain into 12 or 15 major or large ducts which empty onto the surface of the nipple, just like the branches of a tree drain to the trunk. Breast cancer develops from the cells that line the breast, lobules and the draining ducts. Cancer cells that remain confined to the lobule and the ducts are called 'in situ' or 'non-invasive'. They are sometimes also referred to as pre-cancers in recognition of the fact that these cells have not yet gained the ability to spread to other parts of the body, which is the feature that most people associate with cancer. An invasive cancer is one where the cells have moved outside the ducts and lobules into the surrounding breast tissue. How common is breast cancer? Breast cancer is the most prevalent cancer among women and affects approximately one million women worldwide. Breast cancer accounts for 30 per cent of all female cancers in the UK and approximately 1 in 9 women in the UK will get breast cancer sometime during their life. What are the risk factors leading to the development of breast cancer? Age The incidence of breast cancer increases with age and doubles every 10 years until the menopause when the rate of increase slows. Approximately a quarter of breast cancers affect women under the age of 50, a half occur between the ages of 50 and 69 and the remaining quarter develop in women who are 70 years or older. Geographical variation There is quite a difference in incidence and death rate of breast cancer between different countries. The biggest difference is between Eastern and Western countries. Recent, age-adjusted figures show that the rate of breast cancer per 100,000 women is 24.3 in Japan and 26.5 in China compared to 68.8 in England and Wales and 72.7 in Scotland and 90.7 in North America in white females. However, studies of women from Japan who emigrate to the US show that their rates of breast cancer rise to become similar to US rates within just one or two generations, indicating that factors relating to everyday activities are more important than inherited factors in breast cancer. Reproductive factors Women who start menstruating early in life or who have a late menopause have an increased risk of breast cancer. Women who have natural menopause after the age of 55 are twice as likely to develop breast cancer as women who experience the menopause before the age of 45. Age at first pregnancy Having no children and being older at the time of the first birth both increase the lifetime incidence of breast cancer. The risk of breast cancer in women who have their first child after the age of 30 is about twice that of women having their first child before the age of 20. The highest risk group are those who have their first child after the age of 35 and these women have an even higher risk than women who have no children. These observations indicate a ‘menstrual cycle effect’. During the monthly cycle a woman’s fluctuating hormone levels cause several changes within breast tissue, which are repeated every month. These changes possibly encourage or amplify abnormalities in the cell repair processes within breast tissue, which can in some cases lead to breast cancer later in life. Women who have fewer menstrual cycles before their first pregnancy, either through being older when they start menstruating or younger when they first get pregnant, run less chance of such an abnormality occurring. Inherited risk Up to 10 per cent of breast cancer in Western countries is due to an inherited factor. This factor can be passed on from either parent and some family members pass on the abnormal gene without developing cancer themselves. It is not yet known how many breast cancer genes there are, but to date, two specific breast cancer genes have been identified (BRCA1 and BRCA2). Previous breast disease Women with certain benign changes in their breasts are at increased risk of breast cancer. These women present with a breast lump, have an operation and the breast tissue removed shows severe overgrowth of the cells lining the breast lobule. The technical name for this type of breast condition is ‘severe atypical epithelial hyperplasia’. Although benign in itself, its occurrence in a particular woman multiplies her risk of developing breast cancer during her life by a factor of four. Radiation Doubling of the risk of breast cancer was observed among teenage girls exposed to radiation during the second world war. Another study of women who received radiation to the chest as a result of repeated X-rays for tuberculosis, found that there was a risk among women who were first X-rayed between the ages of 10 and 14 years. Fortunately, as TB itself has been prevented, this risk is less relevant today. Other studies have shown that women with Hodgkin's disease who received radiation therapy to the chest have an excess risk of breast cancer. As they are surviving to older age they are now developing not only unilateral but bilateral breast cancer. The increase in risk depends on the dose and the age at which they received radiation. Data has also suggested that there is increased risk of breast cancer in the other breast in patients having radiation to one breast. Lifestyle Although there is a close correlation between the incidence of breast cancer in a country and the dietary fat intake of that country, more detailed studies have shown that there does not appear to be a particularly strong or consistent relationship between fat intake in any individual and their risk of developing breast cancer. Weight Being overweight is associated with a doubling of the risk of breast cancer in postmenopausal women whereas amongst premenopausal women obesity is associated with reduced breast cancer incidence. Alcohol intake Some studies have shown a link between the amount of alcohol people drink and the incidence of breast cancer, but this relationship is not consistent and may be influenced by dietary factors other than alcohol. Hormones Women who take the contraceptive pill are at a slight increased risk while they take the Pill and they remain at risk for 10 years after coming of the Pill. The increased risk is, however, very small and cancers diagnosed in women taking the oral contraceptive Pill are less likely to have spread than those cancers diagnosed in women who have never used the oral contraceptive. The duration of use, age at first use, dose and type of hormone within the contraceptive appears to have no significant effect on breast cancer risk. Women who begin taking the Pill before the age of 20 appear to have a higher risk than women who begin taking oral contraceptives at an older age. Hormone replacement therapy Among current users of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and those who have stopped using it one to four years previously, there is an increased risk of breast cancer. The risk increases 1.023 times for each year of HRT use. This increased risk is very similar to the effect of a delay in the menopause by one year. The risk of breast cancer in a woman who has not used HRT increases 1.028 times for each year she is older at the menopause. HRT using a combination of oestrogen and progestogen has been shown to be associated with a slightly higher risk of breast cancer than oestrogen-only HRT. Cancers diagnosed in women taking HRT tend to be less advanced clinically than those diagnosed in women who have not used HRT. Current evidence suggests that HRT does not increase breast cancer mortality. What are the symptoms of breast cancer? Generally, breast cancers are not painful and women do not feel unwell with them. Breast cancer is now commonly diagnosed by breast screening in women who have no symptoms. Approximately 6 in every 1000 women between the ages of 50 and 64 who attend for screening will be found to have breast cancer the first time they attend screening. A lump in the breast. In many cases, the woman herself will first suspect the disease because she notices a lump or an area of lumpiness or irregularity in her breast tissue. This may happen when she is examining her breasts or while washing or applying lotion to her breasts, or the lump may be visible. Other signs of breast cancer include: a change in the skin: there is often dimpling or indentation of the skin with the formation of wrinkles. The nipple might be pulled in or there may be a discharge from the nipple. occasionally the nipple itself changes. A rash can affect the nipple or the nipple may weep. the breast may swell and become red and inflamed or the skin may change and become like the skin of an orange. In some breast cancers this is due to a blockage of the drainage of fluid from the breast. patients sometimes present with a lump under the arm which is a sign that the cancer has spread to the lymph glands. How is breast cancer diagnosed? If a woman has any breast symptoms it is very important that she consult her doctor so that the cause of these symptoms can be found. If breast cancer is found at an early stage this improves the chances of recovery. As a rule, the doctor will ask her a number of questions. Does the lump vary in relation to her menstrual cycle? What previous breast problems has she had? Is there any breast cancer in her family? How many children has she had? Physical examination The doctor will look at her breasts, first with her arms by her sides, then above her head and, finally, with her arms pressing on her hips. By looking carefully at the outline of the breast in various positions, the doctor can often see changes in the outline of the breast, which will help identify the site and cause of any problems. Next, her breasts are examined while she is lying flat with her arms folded under her head. If, during this examination, the doctor finds a lump, he or she will concentrate on this area examining with the fingertips and measuring the lump. After checking her breasts, the doctor usually carefully examines the lymph glands under the patient's arm pit and those in the lower part of her neck. Should the patient need any further investigations, the breast specialist in the breast clinic will organise any tests that are necessary. Mammograms If the patient is over 35 and has not had a breast X-ray within the past year, the doctor may arrange for one to be performed. Breast X-rays are known as mammograms. Mammograms are a good way of identifying abnormalities in the breast, but they don't always tell whether they are benign or malignant. Further tests are sometimes necessary and these tests include ultrasound and fine needle aspiration cytology (FNAC). Ultrasound scanning X-rays do not pass easily through the breasts of young women. Ultrasound scanning, which is familiar to many women by its use to look at babies during pregnancy, can also be used in the breast to tell whether a lump is fluid or solid. Ultrasound is not useful as a screening test. It is useful if an abnormal shadow is seen on the mammogram because ultrasound is an accurate way of judging whether any abnormality is benign and straightforward or whether it is more likely to be serious. Needle tests (FNAC) Inserting a needle into the lump will show whether it is full of fluid (a cyst) or solid. The needle can allow a sample of cells to be removed for examination under the microscope (a process called cytology) and this is a very accurate method of finding out whether the lump is benign or malignant. If there is an abnormality on the mammogram, but no lump to feel, then using either the X-ray machine or the ultrasound machine, it is possible to guide the needle into the area of abnormality and to obtain enough cells or tissue to obtain a definite diagnosis. The very fine needles used for this procedure give rise to its name. Having the lump removed After investigation, the doctor may decide the lump is benign and that it can be left alone. Alternatively the doctor may suggest that the lump should be removed. This is called an excision biopsy and it can be performed either while the patient is awake under local anaesthesia or, more commonly, under a general anaesthetic. Before any operation, the patient will be asked to sign a consent form agreeing to the removal of the lump. It is important for the patient to know that the doctor performing the operation will only remove the lump and will not take any more tissue away without explaining any further procedure to the patient first and being given her consent. What are the types of breast cancer? Breast cancer was originally described according to its appearances, so words like scirrhous (meaning woody) were used and still appear in the literature. More recently, breast cancer has been classified according to its appearances when under the microscope. Early pathologists classified breast cancers into 'invasive ductal' cancers and 'invasive lobular' cancers believing that invasive ductal cancers arose in ducts and invasive lobular cancers in the lobules. However, it is now clear that all invasive ductal and invasive lobular cancers arise either in the terminal duct or the lobule. As the terms invasive ductal and lobular are in such common usage and as they have different appearances under the microscope they are still used. A more logical classification divides tumours into those of 'special' and 'no special' type. Invasive carcinoma of no special type is also commonly referred to as invasive ductal carcinoma. It is the most common type and accounts for up to 85 per cent of all breast cancers. Special types of tumour have particular microscopic features and these include invasive lobular carcinoma, invasive tubular, cribriform, medullary and mucinous cancers, with other types being uncommon. Many of the special type cancers have a better prognosis - in other words the patient has a higher chance of survival. When a cancer is examined under the microscope, it is usually possible to assess how aggressive it is: in other words how far and how fast it is likely to spread. The tumour may be assigned to one of three grades ranging from grade I to grade III in order of seriousness. For instance, a grade I cancer is non-aggressive and unlikely to cause harm. In contrast, grade III tumours are aggressive and likely to cause harm, but can sometimes be controlled with effective treatment. How is breast cancer treated? The treatment of the disease depends on the tumour type and the stage of disease - how far it has spread to involve either lymph glands or other organs in the body. There are various ways a cancer can be staged and classified. A simple way of staging or classifying breast cancer is to divide it into three groups. Early or operable breast cancer This describes cancer that is confined to the breast and/or the lymph glands in the axilla (arm pit) on the same side of the body Locally advanced breast cancer This has not apparently spread beyond the breast and axillary lymph glands but involves the skin or the chest wall of the breast. These cancers tend to have a worse outlook than early breast cancer and are usually best initially treated by drug therapy or radiotherapy rather than surgery. In locally advanced breast cancer the skin of the breast can either be directly involved by cancer or it is swollen or red. These changes occur because cancer cells get into the fluid channels that drain the breast (lymphatics) and block them, which causes the skin of the breast to be swollen and look like the skin of an orange (peau d'orange). Locally advanced breast cancers were initially treated with surgery but this treatment was successful in only about 30 per cent of patients. In the remainder, the cancer recurred in the areas immediately next to where the surgery was performed Advanced breast cancer This is where the cancer has spread beyond the breast and arm pit to other parts or organs of the body such as lymph glands in the neck, bone, lungs, liver and brain. Other tumours in the breast A rare form of tumour in the breast arises from the supporting tissue and is called a sarcoma. These types of tumour are rare and account for much less than 1 per cent of all malignant tumours within the breast. These are usually best treated by surgery. How does breast cancer develop? Initially, carcinoma cells are confined within the lobule and adjacent ducts. These are known as non-invasive cancers or 'carcinoma in situ'. As with invasive disease, there are two main types - ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) and lobular carcinoma in situ (LCIS). Under the microscope these look different and, clinically, these two types of non-invasive cancer behave differently and require different treatments. Certain types of DCIS develop characteristic tiny particles of calcium within them. These particles show up as tiny white dots on a mammogram. DCIS is much more common than LCIS. DCIS accounts for over one fifth of all types of cancer detected by breast screening. DCIS is treated by surgery which may be followed by radiotherapy and hormonal treatment. LCIS when diagnosed is usually treated by simple follow up with regular mammograms or with hormonal tablets (tamoxifen). Only rarely is surgery used for LCIS. DCIS is considered to be a pre-malignant breast disease. It is not early breast cancer, but if left untreated DCIS cells eventually spread into the surrounding connective tissue of the breast to form an invasive cancer. The time period in which DCIS changes into an invasive cancer appears to be over months and years rather than days or weeks. When an invasive cancer has developed, it is at this stage that there is a risk that cancer cells can spread to nearby lymph glands, the most common lymph glands affected being in the axillary (armpit) region. Cancer cells can also enter the blood stream through the blood vessels that supply the cancer and then move to other organs of the body where they grow and cause problems in these organs. The most common sites for breast cancer to spread to are the bones, lungs, liver and brain. Sarcomas if they spread do so mainly through the bloodstream. Can breast cancer be prevented? One particular medicine used to treat breast cancer, tamoxifen (eg Nolvadex D), has been shown in an American study to reduce the risk of developing breast cancer by approximately 50 per cent in women at high risk of developing the disease. Research with tamoxifen and some other breast cancer medicines is still being carried out to determine if these are suitable options for preventing breast cancer. However, tamoxifen is associated with some rare but serious side effects that may make it unsuitable as a preventive measure. Screening, as currently practised can reduce the mortality but not the incidence of breast cancer (and then only in the age group that is screened). Once a woman reaches the age of 50, she will be invited to take part in a breast screening programme. In the UK, this means having a mammogram every three years up to the age of 64, although the upper age limit of routine screening is currently being extended to 70 years throughout the UK.. The aim of screening by mammography is to pick up cancer while it is still small before it has a chance to spread. There are various reasons why women are not normally screened below the age of 50: breast cancer is less common in younger women. mammography is less likely to detect breast cancer in young women because the breast tissue is denser which can make breast cancer much more difficult to detect. there is no evidence that breast screening below the age of 50 is cost effective. How is breast cancer treated with surgery and radiotherapy? Early breast cancer can be treated by a combination of local treatments to control the local disease and adjuvent treatments to kill any cells which may have spread. Local treatments consist of surgery and radiotherapy. Surgery Surgery can be an excision of the tumour with surrounding normal breast tissue (breast conservation) or removal of the whole breast (mastectomy). Clinical trials comparing mastectomy and breast conservation have shown that the two produce identical results. If the lump is relatively small it is usually possible for the surgeon to remove it along with a small amount of surrounding normal tissue. This is called lumpectomy, wide local excision or breast-conserving surgery. With a larger lump, this breast-conserving operation may not be possible because so much of the breast tissue would have been taken away that it would badly distort the breast. Once the lump and surrounding tissue is removed it needs to be examined under the microscope. In some women, the surrounding tissue is abnormal and a further operation is necessary. A mastectomy (removal of the whole breast) may be necessary if: the cancer is too large to remove and leave a reasonable looking breast after surgery. there is more than one lump in the breast. the cancer is directly underneath the nipple. the patient has previously had a lumpectomy or wide excision and the tissue round the cancer is abnormal. As well as removing the lump or breast, the surgeon will also usually remove some or all axillary lymph glands, which are found under the arm. There are about 20 of these lymph glands and they are the most common place for cancer to spread. Knowing whether this has happened and, if so, how many glands are affected is important in both assessing the severity of the cancer and deciding on follow up treatment. If the surgeon needs to check whether the cancer has spread to these glands, then removing either a single gland which drains the cancer or a few of these glands is all that is needed. If however the surgeon wants to find out exactly how many lymph glands are affected, then it is necessary to remove all 20 lymph nodes from the axilla. If it has been decided to treat the patient by mastectomy, the surgeon will probably discuss with her the possibility of having her breast rebuilt at the same time. The results of breast rebuilding or reconstruction are usually more successful if this is performed straight away rather than left until many months or years later. There is no evidence that immediate breast reconstruction makes any recurrence of the cancer more likely. If the cancer does return, reconstruction does not make it harder to detect. Radiotherapy Studies have shown that all patients treated by breast conserving surgery (lumpectomy or wide excision), should receive radiotherapy to the breast following surgery. This is given every day, Monday to Friday, over three to five weeks. After mastectomy, radiotherapy is given to patients who are considered to be at risk of recurrence. Radiotherapy kills cells that are growing and has greater effects on cancer than on surrounding tissue. After a few days of radiotherapy, the patient's skin may look red and feel a bit sore, rather like they have spent too long in the sun. Towards the end of treatment, there may also be some blistering of the skin. The radiotherapy staff will give all the necessary advice about how to look after the treated skin. How is breast cancer treated with medicines? Medicines act on cancer cells, including those which have spread. We know that in some women there are small numbers of cancer cells that have spread beyond the breast but cannot be detected by scans. Medicines can kill these cells or prevent them from growing for many months and years after surgery with or without radiotherapy. This is called adjuvant treatment. In some patients with larger but operable breast cancers, the medicines can be used before surgery to shrink the cancer. This allows some women who would initially have required a mastectomy to be treated by less extensive surgery. If the cancer has already spread at the time it is first diagnosed or a patient who is treated for early breast cancer develops a recurrence of the cancer at some other site in the body, then the only practical way of treating these two groups of patients is by medicines. The medicines for treating breast cancer fall into two groups: hormones and chemotherapy. Whether the patient receives hormone therapy or chemotherapy will depend on the size of the tumour, type of tumour (including the grade) and whether the tumour has spread to involve the lymph glands. Hormones Most breast cancer is sensitive to the female hormone oestrogen. Sensitive cancer cells need oestrogen to stay alive and removal of oestrogen from the body or stopping any circulating oestrogen getting to the cancer cells is very effective at controlling or killing hormone-sensitive breast cancers. It is possible to determine whether a tumour is sensitive to hormones by performing a chemical test on the tumour. Tumours can be classified into oestrogen sensitive and oestrogen insensitive tumours. In premenopausal women who are still having regular menstrual periods, about half of all breast cancers are hormone sensitive. Over two thirds of tumours in postmenopausal women whose periods have stopped are oestrogen sensitive. The most commonly used medicine against oestrogen sensitive tumours is tamoxifen (eg Nolvadex D). This medicine is an anti-oestrogen in its effect on breast cancers and works by stopping oestrogen getting to the cancer cells. It appears to be a very safe medicine but can cause side effects which can be distressing and these include flushing (similar to those women experience during the menopause), vaginal dryness and vaginal discharge. Many women complain of weight gain on tamoxifen, but, in randomised studies, women taking tamoxifen put on a similar amount of weight to those women who were not receiving drug treatment. There is an increased incidence of eye problems and disturbance of vision. This is reversible if the medicine is stopped. The most serious possible side effects of tamoxifen are that it can slightly increase the incidence of cancer of the lining of the womb, and slightly increase the risk of a blood clot in the leg (deep vein thrombosis). However the risks of both these side effects are very low. Tamoxifen has been widely used throughout the world and is a very safe medicine for pre and postmenopausal women. Few women have to stop the medicine because of side effects. Women who have had surgery for early breast cancer are commonly given tamoxifen following the surgery to reduce the risk of recurrence of the cancer. The production of oestrogen in postmenopausal women requires an enzyme called aromatase. A new class of medicines for treating breast cancers blocks this aromatase enzyme. These medicines are called aromatase inhibitors and include letrozole (Femara), anastrazole (Arimidex) and exemestane (Aromasin). They are very effective in postmenopausal women with oestrogen sensitive tunours. The side effects include flushings, nausea and lack of appetite. Occasionally, women have to stop the medicine because of the constant feeling of sickness. In premenopausal women the major source of oestrogen is the ovaries. Either removing the ovaries or using an injectable medicine called goserelin (Zoladex), which stops the ovaries from producing oestrogen are effective treatments in hormone sensitive breast cancer. The medicine which stops the ovaries working has to be injected once a month. Side effects of this type of medicine or removal of the ovaries include the rapid onset of menopausal symptoms. Chemotherapy Chemotherapy involves being given a combination of anti-cancer medicines, often up to three at a time. The prime target for such medicines is cancer cells that are actively growing and dividing. Unfortunately, anticancer medicines are not able to recognise cancer cells specifically and they also kill normally dividing cells such as the blood and hair cells. The art of the science behind successful cancer chemotherapy is combining medicines which are chosen to minimise the damage to blood cells while maximising damage to cancer cells. Chemotherapy may be preferable for more advanced cancer that is not hormone responsive and for aggressive disease, particularly if the cancer has spread to other sites, such as the liver. It is sometimes administered prior to surgery in order to shrink a tumour. As outlined above, this sometimes means that the surgeon is able to perform less extensive surgery in patients whose cancers respond. Cancer chemotherapy is usually given through an intravenous drip in the hand or arm on an outpatient basis. Treatments vary but each session usually lasts between one and two hours and is repeated every three weeks. Patients may be frightened because they have heard about very unpleasant side effects such as nausea, vomiting and hair loss. In fact, by no means everyone will experience all or even any of these problems. Some of the anti-cancer drugs that are in common use cause little or no hair thinning and anti-sickness medicine given with the chemotherapy works well. A common complaint in people receiving chemotherapy is of weight gain. This is due to the anti-sickness pills which are taken after the chemotherapy. Once the chemotherapy is finished, providing the patient remains active, they should return to their initial weight. One of the less well-known side effects of chemotherapy is to cause premature menopause. This means that periods are likely to stop at a much earlier age if you have had this type of treatment. Bringing forward the menopause is particularly likely to occur in women in their late 30s and 40s, but even younger women can find that their periods temporarily stop during chemotherapy. Treatment for locally advanced breast cancer Some patients whose cancer is locally advanced because it has grown directly into the skin overlying the breast are suitable for surgery and are treated in an identical way to patients with early or operable breast cancer. The majority of patients with locally advanced breast cancer are treated with drug therapy followed by surgery and/or radiotherapy. Some patients with locally advanced breast cancer are treated by radiotherapy initially which can be followed by drug therapy and/or surgery. Drug therapy can consist of either hormonal therapy in slower growing hormone sensitive cancers or chemotherapy in hormone sensitive or more rapidly growing cancers. Outlook for patients with operable or early breast cancer There are various factors which relate to survival in breast cancer. These include: tumour size - the smaller the tumour the more likely a patient is to survive. spread to axillary lymph nodes - the single best factor which predicts a person's survival is the presence or absence of cancer cells in the lymph glands. The more lymph glands which are affected, the worse is the outcome. the tumour type. the grade (whether it is a grade I which has a good prognosis or a grade III which has a poorer prognosis). whether tumour cells are seen by the pathologist in lymph channels or blood vessels. whether the tumour is slow growing or fast growing. whether it expresses hormone receptors. the genetic abnormalities in the cancer. Outlook for patients with locally advanced breast cancer The outlook is worse than for patients who present with operable breast cancer. Local recurrence of the disease after treatment is a problem even in patients who have had drug treatment, surgery and radiotherapy. Control rates of disease are however much better than they used to be when surgery was the initial treatment. The outlook is better in patients who have a good response to their initial drug treatment. In approximately 10 per cent of patients who receive chemotherapy, the drug treatment is so effective than when surgery is performed, no breast cancer cells can be identified in the breast or the lymph glands. Outlook for patients with metastatic breast cancer Metastasis is the process of further spread of the cancer within the body, away from the site at which the cancer starts. People whose cancers have already spread have a much worse outlook than those whose disease is apparently localised. There are differences in survival, depending on the site affected. Education is the weapon

people lets be honest. We may jugdments about other people even through we dont know them. We should all just get along somali or non somali. When I see a Somali person in bus, train or plane I greet them. I do that because they are Somalis and I love my people and it`s our duty as muslims. Dont get me wrong every basket has a rotten fruit, The people that do not reply or give me dirty looks I just ignore them. I lead a simply life and one of my principles is LIVE AND LET LIVE. U should try that. thats the advice I give you my fellow Somali sister.

Only a person with NO brains would put themselves through pain to LOOK GOOD.

I am glad to see that everyone has a view which are somewhat different to the opinion of other. I personaly do not be in love however I treat as a mystery which can be explored inorder to be fully understood. :cool:

Does any one agree with this? Please feel free to express your views In some relationships, arguments always seem one sided - with one partner making all the noise as the other quietly calms the storm. It's possible they both have a problem expressing their feelings, but together they're able to reassure each other that emotions are being managed. Different couples will experience it in different ways, but that inexplicable feeling of wholeness you have when you're together is what Henry Dicks, a guru in relationship psychotherapy, called the 'unconscious fit'. Unconscious fit All of us carry with us a psychological blueprint, holding details about our life experiences and the marks they've left. It contains information we often haven't acknowledged about our fears and anxieties and our coping mechanisms and defences. Each of us has an unconscious capacity to scan another person's blueprint. The people we're most attracted to are those who have a blueprint that complements our own. We're looking for similarities of experience but, more significantly, we're also looking for differences. Opposites attract The purpose of this unconscious fit is to find someone who can complement our experiences. That might be someone who's the same as us, but most commonly we're looking for someone from whom we can learn; someone who has developed coping mechanisms that are different from our own. The ideal partner will be someone who has struggled with similar life issues, but has developed another way of managing it. It seems that our other half is often our best chance of becoming psychologically whole. Although no two relationships are ever the same, psychologists have noticed that there are some common types of unconscious fit. Do you recognise any of these? Parent and child - this type of couple often has shared issues with dependency and trust. One partner copes with those issues by behaving in a childlike way. Their hidden belief is that if they remain insecure, dependent and needy their partner will look after them. Their partner takes on the role of parent and by doing so is able to deny their own needs for dependency as they're acted out by the other. Master and slave - this couple has a problem with authority and control. One partner may feel very insecure if they're ever subordinate, so they're bossy and take charge of every household circumstance. Their partner, who fears responsibility, dutifully toes the line while smugly comparing what they describe as their laid-back attitude to their partner's control-freak attitude. Distancer and pursuer - both partners are afraid of intimacy but have found their perfect match. The unspoken agreement is that one of them will keep chasing and nagging the other one for more intimacy while the other runs away. Occasionally the chase will swap round. Idol and worshipper - when one partner insists on putting the other on a pedestal, this often indicates an issue with competition. To avoid any form of comparison, both partners unconsciously agree to play this game. There are two other common types of fit based on finding a partner who has a similar problem and a similar way of coping. Babes in the wood - you may have seen this couple around. They look alike and often wear matching sweaters. They share the same interests and, more importantly, they dislike the same things. They keep anything bad out of their perfect relationship by joining forces against the big, bad world outside. Cat and dog - on the surface these partners look as though they should never have even met. They argue incessantly over anything. They both avoid intimacy by living in a war zone. You may see elements of your relationship in all of these types. As we progress through our relationships, it's not uncommon to slip into a certain pattern of behaviour. For example, in a time of illness and vulnerability you may act out the parent and child model, while many couples become like babes in the wood following the birth of a child. Good or bad chemistry? All fits serve a psychological purpose designed to protect ourselves from discomfort. Most couples aren't aware of their fit until something happens to change it. We all grow and mature, our needs change and our relationships need to adapt to those changes. Problems may start when one or both partners feell they are no longer able to communicate their feelings and alter patterns of behaviour that are now outdated. If you think that may be happening in your relationship, see When you first met.

I came across this article and I wondered if any one agreed with its ideas about relationships Why people avoid commitment If you want to take the next step with your relationship and your partner is shying away, it's a natural reaction to think there must be something wrong with you. But if they're showing no signs of wanting to leave the relationship this is unlikely to be the case. More often it's to do with not feeling ready or fears that the relationship won't work out. There are three main reasons why some people find it difficult to commit to a relationship: they feel it's too soon they're scared the relationship won't work they're in love with romance Too soon There's no right or wrong speed for a developing relationship There's no right or wrong speed for a developing relationship. Everyone needs to go at his or her own pace. Perhaps they feel they need more time to get to know you, to grow together and work through differences. Some people need more time to get to know themselves and explore their expectations of life. There may be things they feel they need to sort out before committing to the relationship, such as a career or issues with family members. People who have been hurt in the past often need longer than others to feel sure of their feelings and confident that they can trust those feelings. Relationship fears Anxiety over whether the relationship will work is the most common reason why some people find it hard to commit. As divorce rates continue, it’s not surprising that fears are growing about the permanence of relationships. If someone comes from a family background where there was divorce, they're even more likely to be anxious that the same could happen to them. There will never be a guarantee that a relationship will work, but the longer you've been together, the better your chances and your confidence. In love with romance While a lot of people see romance as part of the chase, others have little desire to catch a mate but prefer to spend their lives chasing. Some people simply can't accept the sacrifices commitment brings Some people simply can't accept the sacrifices commitment brings. Some are in love with the newness and excitement of romance and simply don't feel they can honestly make the commitment to faithfulness that most partners expect. How to cope Whatever the reason for your partner not wanting to commit, the following should help you to communicate better and cope with the waiting. Explore the reasons. While you may not be able to directly change your partner, understanding why they feel as they do will help you accept their position. Give reassurance. If you find they're fearful the relationship won't work out, then offer plenty of reassurance that you're committed to working at the relationship through good times and bad. Set time posts. Rather than feeling you have to wait indefinitely, set yourself time posts. Decide that you'll review how you’re both feeling about commitment every six months - or whatever period feels right for you. Enjoy yourselves. Once you've agreed that you've put the commitment issue on hold for six months, make sure you do everything you can to forget it and enjoy all the other aspects of your relationship. Plan practice runs. If there are particular issues that your partner is concerned about then do what you can to rehearse the situations. Perhaps you could holiday together, spend more time with in-laws or just discuss some of the tricky issues that you still need to resolve. Consider counselling. If some of the issues seem quite deep rooted then consider couple counselling . Remember you have a choice. This one may seem very difficult, but it's true. You can decide to wait for your partner or to leave. This isn't to say it would be an easy decision, but ultimately you do have a choice. If you think you need to explore this then you might find it helpful to read Is it over?.

The Golden Path Take my hand this way we'll go, Said the man above, I'll take you to a place of joy, Where you will find true love, If you let go, go on your own, But mistakes you will make, For many other ways there are, Which you are sure to take, When you feel that you are lost, All you have to do is pray, And I'll be there once again, To help you on your way, I did pray and just as said, He shined his light from above, That showed me the way down the golden path, That led me to your love.