Salaam alykum
Attributes of a Righteous Wife
"If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (i.e. Ramadan), guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, ‘Enter Paradise through whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’" (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
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Obedience to Her Husband in that which does not involve disobedience to Allah (SWT) such that she fulfills his rights completely. Allah's Messenger (SAW) said,
"If I were to order anyone to prostrate to other than Allah, I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband. By Him in whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, the woman will not fulfill the rights of her Lord until she fulfills the rights of her husband; and even if he were to request her for herself (i.e. to have intercourse with her) whilst she was sitting upon a camel's saddle, she should not refuse him."
(Sahih, reported by Ibn Maajah and Ahmad from Abdullah ibn Awfaa)
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The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"It is not right that any human being should prostrate to another human being, and if it were right for a human being to prostrate to another human being I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband due to the greatness of his rights upon her. By Him in whose Hand is my soul, if from his foot the crown of his head there was a wound pouring forth with pus, and she (his wife) came and licked that,
then she would (still) not have fulfilled his right." (Good, reported by Ahmad and others)
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"If the woman knew the right of the husband, she would not sit when his morning and evening meals were presented until he finished." (Reported by al-Bazzar and others)
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That She Guards and Preserves Herself and Her Honor, in the Absence of Her Husband, from the hand of anyone wishing to touch her, the eye of anyone wishing to look upon her, and the ear of anyone wishing to listen to her.
Likewise that she preserves her husband’s children, home and wealth. Allah (SWT) says:
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property, etc.)…" (An-Nisa’ 4:34)
As-Sa’dee said, "They are obedient to Allah (SWT), they are obedient to their husbands even when the husbands are absent and she guards herself and her husband’s property."
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (i.e. Ramadan), guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, ‘Enter Paradise through whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’" (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
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Serving Her Husband. First of all by carrying out what is required in his house, such as bringing up and educating the children, preparing the meals and the beds and so on.
From Husayn ibn Mihsan who said that my paternal aunt said,
"I came to Allah’s Messenger (SAW) for some need, so he asked, ‘You there! Are you married?’ I replied, ‘Yes.’ He then asked, ‘How are you towards your husband?’ She responded, ‘I do not fall short in his service except with regard to what I am unable to do.’ He said, ‘Then look to your standing with him, for indeed he is your Paradise and your Fire.’" (Sahih, reported by al-Haadim and others)
Here is an example of how Asma bint Abu Bakr (RA), served her husband. She said,
"Az-Zubayr married me and he did not have any property or slaves or anything upon the earth except for a camel which drew water from the well and his horse. So I used to feed his horse, draw the water, stitch his water bucket, and prepare the dough, but I was not proficient in baking bread - so ladies from the Ansar who were my neighbors and were honorable used to bake the bread for me. I also used to carry the date-stones upon my head, from the land given to az-Zubayr by Allah’s Messenger (SAW) - and it was about two miles away. One day when I was coming with the date-stones on my head, I met Allah’s Messenger (SAW) and a group of the Ansar were with him. So he called me and said, ‘Ikh, ikh (a word said to make the camel kneel down.).’ in order to carry me behind him upon the camel. But I felt shy to proceed along with the men, and I thought of az-Zubayr and his sense of jealousy, and he was one of the most jealous of the people. So Allah’s Messenger (SAW) saw my shyness and so passed on. So I came to az-Zubayr and said, ‘Allah’s Messenger (SAW) met me while I was carrying the date-stones upon my head and with him were a group of his Companions. He caused his riding camel to kneel, but I felt shy and remembered your sense of jealousy.’ So he said, ‘By Allah (SWT) your having to carry the date-stones is harder upon me than that you should ride along with him.’" She said, "Then later on Abu Bakr sent me a servant to look after the horse, so it was if he had set me free." (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
The scholars differ with regard to the ruling about a woman serving her husband. Shaykhul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said, "The scholars differed about whether she has to serve her husband with regard to the like of household bedding, preparing food and drinks, baking the bread, grinding the corn, and providing food for his slaves and cattle - such as providing fodder for his riding beast and so on."
Some of them say: It is not obligatory for her to serve him - and this is a weak saying, like the weakness of the saying that it is not obligatory upon her to live together with him and have intercourse with him! However what is correct is that it is obligatory to serve him, since the husband is her master according to the Book of Allah (SWT), and she is a captive with him according to the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW), and the captive and the slave have to serve - and this is something known. Allah (SWT) says:
"…Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property, etc.)…" (An-Nisa’ 4:34)
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said in the sermon of the Farewell Pilgrimage:
"…treat your women well, for they are captives with you." (Hasan Sahih, reported by at-Tirmidhee)
This Ayat shows that it is obligatory upon her to serve her husband unrestrictedly, including: serving him, traveling along with him, making herself available to him, and so on - just as it is obligatory to obey the parents, since the obedience due from her to the parents transfers to the husband.
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Keeping the Husband's Secrets. Particularly what occurs between him and her in private - with regard to sexual matters and the private affairs within the marriage. Disclosing the husbands secrets will hurt him and anger him and this contradicts obedience to him and seeking to please him. Furthermore preserving his secrets is one of the duties of the righteous and obedient woman, as described in the Saying of Allah (SWT),
"…Guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property, etc.)…" (An-Nisa’ 4:34)
Part of their guarding what they are to guard in the absence of their husbands is that they should not broadcast their secrets.
From Asma bint Yazeed (RA), who said that she was in the company of Allah's Messenger (SAW) and men and women were sitting, and he (SAW) said,
"Perhaps a man mentions that which he did with his wife, and perhaps a woman informs of what she does with her husband?!" So the people were silent, so I said, "Yes, by Allah (SWT), O Messenger of Allah (SAW)! The women certainly do that, and the men certainly do that." He (SAW) said, "Then do not do so, since that is just like a male devil meeting a female devil upon the way, and he has intercourse with
her while the people are watching." (Reported by Ahmad and there are witnessing narration’s which raise it to the level of being Sahih or Hasan at the very least)
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She Should Appear Before the Husband in the Best Appearance, such that if he looks at her it pleases him.
Abu Hurairah (RA), narrates the Messenger Of Allah (SAW) was asked,
"Which of the women is the best?" He replied, "The one who gives him (the husband) pleasure when he looks (at her outer beauty, or the inner beauty of her good character and how she devotes herself to obedience to Allah and taqwa); obeys him when he orders; and does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or her wealth by doing that which he dislikes." (Sahih Muslim, reported by an-Nasaa’ee, al-Haakim and Ahmad)
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She Should Not Spend Any of His Wealth or Her Wealth Except With His Permission
From Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (RA) who said that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said,
"It is not permissible for a woman to give a gift
except with the permission of her husband." (Hasan, reported by Abu Dawud an-Nasaa’ee and Ahmad)
Al-Albani (ra) said, "However it is not becoming for the husband - if he is a sincere Muslim - that he should use this ruling to play the tyrant with his wife and to prevent her from utilizing her wealth in a manner which will not harm either of them. Indeed this right is very similar to the right of the girls guardian - who is such that she cannot get herself married except with his permission. But if he unjustly prevents her, then the matter is raised to the Islamic judge for justice to be attained. Likewise is the ruling with regard to a woman’s wealth if her husband oppresses her and prevents her from spending her wealth in a lawful and prescribed manner - then the judge will also bring about justice for her. So there is no problem with the ruling itself, rather the problem is in how it is misused."
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She Should Not Permit Anyone to Enter Her Husband's House Except With His Permission
From Abu Hurairah (RA), who said that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"It is not permissible for a woman to fast when her husband is present except with his permission; nor may she permit anyone to enter his house except with his permission; and whatever she spends in charity without his order - then half of the reward is for him." (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
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She Should Not Ask Her Husband For Divorce Without a Reason Necessitating That
From Thawbaan (RA), who said that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"Whichever woman asks her husband for divorce without a strong reason - then the fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden for her." (Sahih Muslim, reported by Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhee and others)
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Avoidance of Cursing
Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree (RA) said, "The Messenger of Allah (SAW) went out to the prayer-ground for the (prayer of) Adhaa or Fitr, and he passed by the women and said,
‘O women! Give in charity, for I have been shown that you shall be the majority of the people in the Fire.’ So they asked, ‘Why is that, O Messenger of Allah (SAW)!’ He replied, ‘You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.’" (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
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Being Thankful to the Husband for the good he does and for his good treatment to his wife.
This is accomplished by good words, and by her obedience to him in what is good, and by not forgetting his good treatment and avoiding denying this, since that is one of the reasons which brings about the entry into the Fire.
From Ibn Abbass (RA), who said that the Prophet (SAW) said,
"I was shown the Fire and found that the majority of its inhabitants were women, due to ingratitude. It was said: "Is it that they disbelieve in Allah?" He said: They are ungrateful to their husbands and deny the good they do. If you were to treat one of them well always, and she then saw something (displeasing) from you she would say: ‘I have never seen any good from you.’" (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said,
"Allah will not look at a woman who is not thankful to her husband and she cannot do without him."
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She Should Not Remove Her Clothes Outside Her Husband's House
Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said,
"Whichever woman removes her clothes in other than her house, then Allah (SWT), will tear down His cover from her." (Sahih-Jami, reported by al-Haakim and others)
Al-Manawee said, "’Allah (SWT) will tear down His cover from her’ since because she has failed to take care of what she has been commanded with regard to covering herself from strangers, then this is the recompense she receives, the recompense being of the type of the action. What is apparent is that removal of her clothing means uncovering herself to strange males, for the purpose of sexual intercourse or that which leads to it. As opposed to the case if she were to remove her clothes amongst women, whilst covering her private parts, since there is no reason for that to enter into this warning."
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Striving to Please the Husband by Every Possible Means
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
"Your women from the people of Paradise are the beloved and fertile, the one who is an asset to her husband, who if her husband becomes angry - comes and places her hand in the hand of her husband and says, ‘I will not taste sleep until you are pleased (with me).’"
In al-Kabaa’ir of adh-Dhahabee, "What is obligatory upon the woman is that she seeks the pleasure of her husband, and avoids angering him, and does not refuse him whenever he wants her. The woman must also know that she is like a slave to her husband, so she should not do anything affecting herself or her husbands wealth except with his permission. She should give precedence to his rights over her rights, and the rights of his relatives over the rights of her relatives, and she should keep herself clean and be ready for him to enjoy her. She should not boast at his expense of her beauty, nor rebuke him for any ugliness found in him. The woman must also be always modest and reserved in the presence of her husband, lower her eyes in front of him, obey his commands, remain silent when he speaks, keep far away form everything which angers him, avoid treachery when he is absent, with regard to his bed, his wealth and his house. She should ensure that her aroma is pleasant, be accustomed to using musk and perfume and cleaning her mouth with miswaak. She should be constant in adorning herself in his presence and not when he is absent. She should treat his family and relatives honorably, and consider something small from him as something great."
PeAcE OuT
