Tensions still exist between those two regions and there's a dangerous possiblity of more serious conflict in the future. So if you care the least bit about the well-being of Somalis everywhere, you should encourage a peaceful resolution to this conflict instead of offering premature applause to this side or that. PS - I'm surprised the moderators haven't noticed your use of tribal names. If you were unaware, let me inform you that it's against forum rules. Salaamz.

I've seen samples of Osmaniya script on the internet and I thought it looked very interesting. It would have been nice for Somalis to have their own unique alphabet. But it's a little too late to do anything about that now, as everyone's gotten used to the latin script... oh well. Salaamz.

Just Cause, I wear the hijab for numerous reasons, but using it as a 'political symbol' is not one of them. Even when I wasn't wearing it, I had always planned to do so sometime in the future. I brought that the 9/11 thing up simply because the event forced me to re-evaluate my priorities. And, consequently, I chose to wear it sooner as opposed to later. Sis you're entailed to your own views, but as far as France's hijab ban is concerned I think it's a poorly masked attempt to stifle something they feel threatened by and secularism serves as a convenient excuse. If they were secular in every sense of the word, why are so many of their national holidays Christian religious celebrations (ex: all saints day, christmas, assumption of the blessed virgin day, etc.)? Whether it's in France or Turkey, I don't believe any government has the right to illegalize religious symbols and garments being worn out of choice... regardless of whether they be hijabs, Jewish yarmulkes, or large Christian crosses. They pose no harm to wearers or those around them. Last time I checked, there were no bullets or lasers shooting out of my scarf. Salaamz.

Perfect age to get married? That's a good question... In my view, the perfect time to get married should have nothing to do with age but more to do with where a person is at in his/her life. Sometimes people say things like "I plan to be married by the time I'm --" ... and I think it's a dangerous thing to do. Getting married for the sake of being married at a certain age is risky, because (by rushing into it for the wrong reasons) who knows if you'll stay married. I guess what I'm trying to say is make sure you get married for the right reasons and at the right time in your life. Whether it's "right" or not is something only you can determine. Marriage isn’t easy, even when those involved are in love… so be aware that getting married is exponentially easier than staying married. Salaamz.

If a guy buys a woman expensive gifts for no reason whatsoever on a regular basis... chances are he's trying to get something in return and isn't really serious about her. It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out. So assuming she's figured it out, maybe she isn't serious about you and is just trying to use you before you two part ways. This may or may not be the case, but if it is then I think you're both kinda hustling each other. My only advice to you is to re-evaluate your priorities. You've already said you don't want to buy diamond necklaces for your girlfriend(s), but would rather save such gifts for your future wife. So with that in mind, I think you should guard your pesos and not waste them on women you're not serious about (i.e. who you don't intend to marry). It seems like some people have bottomless wallets when it comes to buying gifts for girlfriends and such things. But what would those same individuals do when broke relatives in Somalia call? Hmmm, I wonder... Salaamz.

When it comes to warlords and the dubious meetings now held for them on a regular basis, I've learned not get to my hopes up. I for one won't hang on the edge of my seat this time, expecting something productive and long-lasting to come out of meetings patched together to appease competing tyrants. I have great hopes for Somalia and its future, but I refuse to believe the likes these warlords are fit to govern any country properly. Somalia and Somalis have much more to offer. We can find leaders who are smarter, braver, more capable, and definitely more honourable than these self-appointed "politicians". And until we do so, there's little sense in rushing into this process of establishing a new government. Everyone's had enough of anarchy and lawlessness, but the pillars of a future nation shouldn't hastily be rebuilt on weak foundations. In doing so, we can expect the entire structure to come down on us once again. I'd hate to be a pessimist, but... - 25 different armed groups (in constant competition) - a clan-based government - made by and for tyrannical warlords ... looks likes a recipe for trouble to me. Salaamz.

What is this… killing hour? If yes, then in a hands-off way I'll articulate my power Truth is I’m awkward, germ phobic Never touch my opponents Cause fist-brawls aren’t my thing But when the unfortunate cross me With venomous words I can sting Leaving my victims sedated Before I move in for the verbal kill Too ladylike for cuts and bruises I would rather tie them up In psychological nooses Without blinking or flinching I carry out a perfect cyber-lynching I’m so bad it ought to be a crime And it’s a wonder I haven’t time (Salaamz.)

I was confused by the use of “hybrid” in this article too. I’m assuming the author wasn’t using the literal meaning of the word, but was referring to Somalis in the West. I think she’s trying to say they’ve fused their traditional values with some Western elements and have become socially/culturally hybridized… or something along those lines. And by the way, I’m not Rhoda but it's funny you thought so. If you enjoyed this article, you can find more of her work on SomaliHome.com. Salaamz.

Originally posted by Baby_GurL: And some songs from Chocolate Factory are decent. But i still don't look at him the same way as I did before...... I agree with you on that one sis. I actually liked "Step in the Name of Love", even though I was never a fan of his music in the past. Still, whenever I hear one of his songs these days, I always get the feeling he's singing to a 14 year-old or something. And what's with that zorro-type mask and mustache he's sporting in all his new videos? As if he wasn't creepy enough... Salaamz.

Originally posted by Baby_GurL: And some songs from Chocolate Factory are decent. But i still don't look at him the same way as I did before...... I agree with you on that one sis. I actually liked "Step in the Name of Love", even though I was never a fan of his music in the past. Still, whenever I hear one of his songs these days, I always get the feeling he's singing to a 14 year-old or something. And what's with that zorro-type mask and mustache he's sporting in all his new videos? As if he wasn't creepy enough... Salaamz.

Originally posted by Baby_GurL: And some songs from Chocolate Factory are decent. But i still don't look at him the same way as I did before...... I agree with you on that one sis. I actually liked "Step in the Name of Love", even though I was never a fan of his music in the past. Still, whenever I hear one of his songs these days, I always get the feeling he's singing to a 14 year-old or something. And what's with that zorro-type mask and mustache he's sporting in all his new videos? As if he wasn't creepy enough... Salaamz.

Originally posted by Baby_GurL: And some songs from Chocolate Factory are decent. But i still don't look at him the same way as I did before...... I agree with you on that one sis. I actually liked "Step in the Name of Love", even though I was never a fan of his music in the past. Still, whenever I hear one of his songs these days, I always get the feeling he's singing to a 14 year-old or something. And what's with that zorro-type mask and mustache he's sporting in all his new videos? As if he wasn't creepy enough... Salaamz.

Wait a sec... pearl, are you saying Prophet Muhammad (saw) wore kohl/eyeliner? What part of the Hadith or Qur'an did you get that from? I'm aware he used heena to dye his beard, etc, but I've never heard of this eyeliner thing. Anyway, I don't mean to sound like I'm attacking you... but I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd please give me a reference of some sort. Thanks. Salaamz.

Polygamy: Madness or Mercy? By Rhoda Rageh Hybrid husbands have been returning to Somaliland in flocks, and have been marrying young belles amidst the hybrid wives' fits. Why would men -"tainted"- as my friend describes those who have lost ties with the Somali culture, choose to disband the most valuable Western influence - sacred monogamy and dive deep into indifference? Why on the other hand would wives, intellectual or otherwise, in spite of what they see as obvious wrong done to them, be shocked by polygamy? More baffling still, why would young beauties remain "unseemly" keen to please men thirty, forty or fifty years older? Is this the force of diaspora unveiling another irksome face of its obscured reality? What is behind the cult of four wives? Is polygamy madness or mercy in these times? What is the role of those relatively young intellectual Muslim first wives? Can Feminism, if not Islam offer any harmony? The West seemed to have brought husbands and wives closer together in a way that our culture had never before. Somali fathers have become dads. They have participated in most, if not all aspects of the lives of their children. Few advantages gloated by wives in the west include husbands finding themselves inevitably as Mr. Moms. For the first time in their lives, they have walked freely into their kitchens to fetch their cereal bowls. They were able to take loads of laundry into the launderette; and have changed diapers under the watchful eyes of critical neighbors. Consequently, some have thrived in such unusual chores and have found the idea enjoyable and liberating while perhaps others might have found themselves unmanned by it. Nevertheless, if lessons of diaspora have taught us any value, they have brought the ever pleasantly estranged husbands and wives closer together outside the bedroom; and the matron optimism yearned for emotional attachment to flourish. Their forceful intertwined spaces have created false dependency especially on the wives. Disillusioned hybrid wives demand the rights of the liberated Western women but hybrid husbands seem to transmit messages of bliss at home. Hybrid wives, unlike the "traditional enchantresses" at home, claim to have brought to the marriage more than the role of dispensable wives. They see themselves as partners. Checking accounts and conjoined mortgages have also complicated matters. Their acquiescent husbands smiled to the strange notion of equality. A hiatus from their roles as Muslim men have allowed them to lean on their wives for financial support. The good old times created by this image now thrown into the wind has violently defiled the hopes of a luxurious retirement. Confused wives now stare at the other face of Juda. If young Somali wives were traditionally submissive because of financial dependence on their husbands, hybrid Somali wives have carved more than monetary satisfaction from their husbands. They put entitlement to their most valuable assets - their bodies. After all money does not buy happiness. Some of these hybrid men in the bliss have still young school age children in the west. The less desirable life they left behind have dug a chasm gaping widely for the attention of single partners who are being emotionally shaken by the sudden departures of their loved ones. If the life in the west that had constantly demanded attention was left forlorn, it offers no justification for their second marriages save a plunge to lewd desire. Hybrid husbands in Somaliland have turned polygamy on its head as the rationale to save Muslim women and their children. They have hung the idea and half of their families upside down. The enchantresses remain unblemished. Young Somali girls who have survived the wars have come of age without the hope of education or valid visas to foreign lands. Their options are limited: to become prey to pleasure seeking men or secure respectable homes. What appear as enchantresses are vulnerable young girls who are trapped. The only viable and clearly most laudable option for them is marriage, albeit to an old man. They are desperate for homes and security and perhaps the desire to avoid the "old maid" adage added to their many miseries. Nobody knows their sad lots better than they under the weights of grandfatherly figures; but still better than being prey to promiscuous men they shouldn't be pitied but have to be admired for their courage. They have followed the less of two evils. Staring death in the face and defying epidemic diseases, their views of life have been tempered by the harsh realities they overcame. They are not looking for love but to look after their security with zeal and fervent vigor is a skill polished by hearts hardened by brutal indifference. They are smart but above all practical. When two young Somali beauties congratulate each other for their catch as "fart and a half," they are embracing the good and the bad with both hands and I guess nothing epitomizes their somber view of life more than that epithet. A fart violently slashing the image of endearment indicates a survival for the fittest attitude. Experience as the best teacher has taught them to think rather than feel. As one of my professors once told me. "Life is tragedy for those who feel but a comedy for those who think." Can Westernized Somali women learn from them? Professional women as super moms also remain wives whose times and energy are constantly contravened. Professional pursuits create the guilt of deserted husbands and neglected families. Therefore, polygamy could be a blessing, which can bring to the professional Westernized women the best of both worlds. Rather than disgruntled husbands and persistent sense of guilt they could enjoy happy part-time husbands whose needs are abundantly satisfied during which time they could pursue their own happiness, discover their own inner strengths to create an aesthetic side of life. An all-incorporating philosophy could be better than one that befuddles the mind. Young vulnerable children have chosen to swallow the bitter pill of life by relinquishing some childhood dreams for a tamed reality. Why not by the ones who claim Western education? For the past two decades Muslim men have been hunted everywhere. Many Muslim men have perished and the need for four wives has never been more pressing. If Muslim men stand up to the challenge of the imbalance between men and women, I believe Muslim women should stand back and allow them their right. Believers, both men and women have a duty to accept the challenges facing the Muslim Umma. For every bit of burning jealousy, women have to look around them and should have compassion for desperate orphans everywhere. Women solidarity even in the face of adversity is the most realistic feminism I can imagine. Whether or not the hybrid men in Somaliland fit this image of the gallant Muslim is another story but the issue of polygamy should not be taken as strife among women. When men become polygamous to restore balance, lending them supportive hands is a duty for all serious Muslim women and reward is with Allah. If on the other hand, they become lasciviously polygamous, they do not only damage women but fitting into the analogy of the old lady with the unbearable load. They bring into the world more kids to be abandoned and Allah (swt) remains to Judge. Rhoda A. Rageh (SomaliHome.com) Rahmaa@yahoo.com

There are situations in which polygamy can be very useful. For instance, if practiced properly, it's a good alternative to divorce. But lately it seems as if many Somali men who practice polygamy end up misusing it in some way. In most of the cases I've seen or heard of, the man often doesn't have the means to provide adequate financial support for all his wives. And it leads to one (often the newer wife) getting more, while the first/older one has to struggle to make ends meet. And sadly, even when a polygamist divorces the older wife, the chances of her remarrying are slim. Why? Well, simply because most men in our culture would rather marry a young virgin who isn't towing half a dozen kids from a previous marriage. And it's unfortunate... Instead of preventing or fixing domestic problems, the misuse of polygamy just multiplies them. I guess what I'm trying to say is if they don't have fat wallets like those oil-rich Saudis, it's best if Somali men spare their wives heartache & financial hardship and just leave the polygamy thing alone. Salaamz.

I live in a country that has secular governance and doesn't recognize Islamic laws. With that said, I've never used the laws of this land to justify not wearing the hijab by saying it's a 'choice'. Hijab is not a choice... it's mandatory, like prayers and fasting. And during the many years that I was not wearing it, I always knew my actions were against Islam and dambi. After 9/11, I saw Muslims being antagonized and persecuted. I realized that if I didn't make my status as a Muslim known to the world, I would always feel like a coward for taking the easy way out and just blending in with gaalos . So in 2001, I started wearing the hijab for good and haven't taken it off since. It's my shield, it's my comfort zone, and I love it. My only regret is that I didn't put it on earlier. Salaamz.

This is one of the most heartbreaking videos I've ever seen. I feel so bad for her because she contracted the disease through no fault of her own. I hope she finally becomes reunited with her long-lost love, so they can find some peace and happiness in the remainder of their lives. Salaamz.

Baashi, You have a very good point. What’s considered ‘truth’ is often relative to individual experiences and one’s version of truth can sometimes be contested from another perspective... especially when there's little or no hard proof. I’ve also noticed that I tend to generalize in my posts. You’re usually among the first to call me on it and I appreciate your constructive criticisms. I’ll try to avoid doing so in the future. rudy, Lol! Forget the tuugs… naftada uu cabso walaal, cause if I were you I’d watch out for those short-tempered dacas-wielding ladies... but that’s another topic. So much for the discussion… Salaamz.

Originally posted by underdog: I see you gave this some thought...... Do you know something we don't? :eek: do you have any particular island in mind? Well, let's just say I've been watching Survivor Allstars on a regular basis. But if I had to choose an island, I'd make sure there were no little British school kids on it (think: Lord of the Flies). Salaamz.

Originally posted by underdog: By the way, How come not a single one of you asked for a good book ? (draw you own conclusions) Lol! A big hard-cover book might actually come in handy for many things. You could use it as a source of entertainment, a pillow (uncomfortable), a whacking tool for killing small prey or smashing nuts, you could hurl it into the dark whenever you hear a strange noise... ok, maybe I'm stretching it but a book would be nice.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, name one thing (just one!) you'd like to have or would already have with you? My answer: Chapstick. I luv those things and always have one or more on me. Salaamz.

To wear or not to wear... Honestly, I'm not a big fan heavy duty of make-up. Normally, when I'm going to school and stuff I keep it minimal and almost non-existent on my face (only lipstick/lipgloss and maybe eyeliner). So I do put some on, but not much. The rest I use on special occasions... but since I don't party or go clubbin' those are few and far in between. Chapstick! Now that's my addiction. Salaamz.

Hey somali-chick, Congrats and I wish you lots of success and happiness in London. Hope you have fun, meet lots of nice people and (of course) study 'till you drop. I'm getting the feeling that you're a UofT student... are you at St. George or one of the other campuses? I'm at UTM (the one in mississauga) and I think the number of people with SARS here outnumber the Somali students (j/k). Seriously, they're only a handful of us. But masha'allah there are tonnes of Muslims here. Salaamz.

Hey somali-chick, Congrats and I wish you lots of success and happiness in London. Hope you have fun, meet lots of nice people and (of course) study 'till you drop. I'm getting the feeling that you're a UofT student... are you at St. George or one of the other campuses? I'm at UTM (the one in mississauga) and I think the number of people with SARS here outnumber the Somali students (j/k). Seriously, they're only a handful of us. But masha'allah there are tonnes of Muslims here. Salaamz.

Sophist, Firstly, mythical stories may not count as evidence but in the case of Somalia folktales would. The latter is what brother Jamaal was talking about so please don't confuse the two. Secondly, all good discussions and debates are supposed to "provoke profound sentiments" and this one isn't meant to be any different. No one's claiming that "our fathers used to beat our mothers", as you put it. We're talking about of men of past generations and their harsh treatment of their wives as compared to men of today, whom I also clearly pointed out where not innocent of their own flaws/sins. Does wife-beating still occur? Yes. Is it as common as it was a few generations ago? Of course not. Let's face it, back then it was part of our culture. And, unfortunately, some men even tried to use religion to legitimize what they were doing. If you'd prefer to dismiss those parts of our history, that's your issue. PS - If you want to discuss the 'maltreat of men', please save it for another topic... we've got our hands full here. Salaamz.