is it real love or intense sexual attraction? :confused: no weird looks :rolleyes: just bear with me. it is a proven fact that men after being married a while, especially if the wifey is reproducing as fast as she can, fantazise about fresh romantic life. because they are overburdened with responsibillities, they tend to overexaggarate such feelings for other females, especially if they are moslim and somali cuz they know they have that option of marrying as much as four wives. The dilema: what should this brother do? My suggestion: I would advise the brother to think about the situation and consider all options with clear head. ask quesions like: is he still inlove with his wife? is there anything that can be done inorder to rekindle those feelings he had for his wife? are there kids that will be neglected if he bails out on the marriage? after analyzing the situation if he is still infatuated with this new woman, he should get divorce and marry her because really chances are if he stays with his wife, he will make both of them miserable. now the obvious probmlem with this solution is that KARMA is a terrible thing. he leaves his wife, who probably loves him and is trying to be the best wife she can for him, for another woman and the new woman who knows that you left your wife for her can walk out anytime. so I would conclude(though am contradiction myself a bit but really blame it on the coffee) dont be selfish and stay with your wife. those batterflies in the stomach go away, they are just feelings(Duh!) avoid a lifetime of guilt and bitterness. dont spoil your life, just cause a finer xalimo came arround. --------------------------------------------- Get Up! Up Even the best fall down sometimes.

I completely agree with you,honn.I know it's very tragic to grasp what our people are going through. I was thinking about what u said about marriage and somalia. and come to think of it, somali men have always been promiscious despite their upbringings. so yeah, i think we should educate our people in the sense of discouraging them from such acts because of its threat to our health and Islamic morals. and the ones who disregard it,shall reap the benefits.in addition, women need to use common sense and trust their judgement. if someone's morals are too loose arround these issues when you guys are courting, they probably have problems as you suspected. so watch out girls! ---------------------------------------------- Get Up! Up Even the best fall down sometimes

WOW! educate who huuno? have u been to American schools or western schools, sex education is everywhere. Oh yeah,they'll even teach you how it works wether you like it or not. but people still go out of their way to contract some cursed-nasty disease all knowingly. besides this philosophy of teaching and preaching about safe-sex is fundementally flowed because it violates the very thing it is protecting and it also refutes our Islamic Law. In my philosophy safe= no premerital sex. but whoever chooses to sample the cake should let their future partners know what they've been up to. soryy honn, got carried away. lets get back to the topic; how do you ask your husband to get tested without offending him? simple. you go up to him and say; sweetheart i love you and I trust you but for the sake of my sanity, i would like you to get tested so that we can start clean. if it makes him happy or less uncomfortable, you too can also get tested(unless you havent been arround da block, so the kids say). ---------------------------------------- Get Up! Up Even the best fall down sometimes

Here is my two-penny, hope ya enjoy it. After sitting in her bedroom for what seemed like an eternity, the weight of her action daunted on ceebla. Now regret has resumed her position, and there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t take back what she has done, oh my God, and now I have to meet him! Fighting back all urges to call him back and cancel the date, Ceebla busied herself with picking a possible outfit for this weary occasion. But all hope failed at the mere thought of the meeting. Why do I always get myself into these situations, thought ceebla? what the heck was i thinking? what if this is a mere joke? what am I gonna say to him? God this is even worse than when I went on that blind date which my sister set me up with. Ok. Desperate times call for desperate measures, thought ceebla. I have to call casho, she is the only one who can help me get out of this mess, ceebla thought. But what if she is still angry? Ceebla couldn’t take another minute of this anxiety if she wanted to avoid a possible heart attack. So she decided to call Casha. Phone rings… Casho: Hello Ceebla: naa Casho, girlfriend you can’t believe what I have done! Casho: what have u done? (I can only imagine, she thought) Ceela: I have called him and am freaking out cuz he is meeting me and Iam a mess! I don’t know what to do, just shoot me, shoot me I beg you! Casho: u called who? Oh my god, you didn’t! Ceebla: yes i did, and I can’t get out of it, wat am I gonna do? I think am having a heat attack! Casho: ok. Don’t panic, am coming right over!( the story of life casha thought, holding back all envy.) ya dig? continue.. --------------------------------------------- Get Up! Up! Even the best fall down sometimes

Good God! Gracious Lord, why is it that everything we discuss 'bout goes back to the do's and don't of women? :confused: It always amazes me ( and not in the eye-widening, mouth gaping, endorphins kickin' kinda way) I mean realy, it is ok. we got it from here on. we can decide for ourselves( as hard as it is to beleive). As for the shariica, it is a done deal. women's voices are not cowra unless it is used to flatter weak minds(and yeah, we are pretty capable of that!) ------------------------------------- Get Up, Up Even the best fall down sometime

I dont beleive that it is completely useless advice. and I mean it in a good way because dear sis people will be people. Boys will play, girls will fall for it, girls will be heart-broken.aahhh, girls will launch on revenge-mission and ofcourse will succeed, Duh! and another cycle of hate will begin. war of the sexes? yeah, bring it on boys! But really playtime is over, that is what i tell my generation. They aint teens anymore, so it is about time they took life seriously but do they listen? dont know, dont care. --------------------------------------- Get Up, Up! Even the best fall down sometimes

YAAH! me excited! go ahead nomads, debate it, fight it out, pour it down on each other,I've got time. let the game of voice-betrayal begin! Lol some people might want to get on that voice altering software castro mentioned because trust me some will need it badly. ----------------------------------------- Get up, up! Even the best fall down sometime

But you can sign a contract that limits him to you. promise is a promise, that is what the sheikhs said ------------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

ofcourse, if he is hot sexy-bro, who is ofcourse a practicing muslim, meaning he holds allah dear to his heart. but really, i would go for the money otherwise, ma is ku dheelaynaa,I rather have a broke faarax than broke Mike. ----------------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

Thanks Ngonge, I have really enjoyed the story, very touching. indeed human hearts are fragile, and aging is undying enemy of humans. i dont think dat 28years old woman is dat old, but then again it depends on da culture. but i can certainly understand that emptiness and the unsuccesful attempts she made to find a true love. girls and love,what a heartbreak! --------------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

darnnn!! u is one talented bro. keep up da good work. i really enjoyed ur poems,transitional they are as well as emotional. ------------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

Lol, bishaaro. I feel ya sis. but seriously 26 aint dat old. dem babies can wait a bit so you can first conduct a proper audition for all-would-be donors. back to da topic, I think da perfect time to have a baby is when one is ready financially,physically,and mentally. I dont really know wat da fuzz is about.I mean, all those girls measuring their worth with marriage and family. can a girl lead a delicious life, guilt-free without becoming a wife and mother? yes, it is a wonderfull thing to become a mother but girls should remember, dat is not our only purpose in life. da more you hurry into marriage, thinking about da darn clock ticking, the more you are susceptable to making huge mistakes when it comes to choosing a mate. and that is my two cents in dis topic. hope i made sense cuz am missing my coffee this morning ----------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

welcome Umma am also fairly new to this site, and i found it amazingly interesting. ------------------------------ The battle to be the best has just begun

lol, Sky dat piece cracked me up sorry about dat. -------------------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

Ok. I've recently made da mistake of dating someone i shouldnt have, and if i could go back in dat hour, dat very minute dat I answered my cell, I would undo da whole ***** relationship. eiwwww, it makes me all sick. :eek: Ok. here is my Q: do you beleive that everyone has soulmate wondering arround planet earth? ------------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

We must convince ourselves that you are really getting something more out of it (maybe you are feeding us contraceptives, or trying to spread your gaalo idealogy or something). Callypso are u dat deranged? I mean r u hoping to gain some mutual understanding with El-Bizaro by trashing your people like dat? seriously! quite to the contrary, many of us appriciate the little help we can get from da outside world, and infact we are very grateful to those who sacrifice for us. it is so unfair of you to generalize from some negative experience. nobody is doubting dat Steve's, or whatever his name is, intentions were ligid, but his language is getting da best of him. and like he said these were letters meant for his friends, so it is ok. for him confide with them and express his confusion but why post them? ----------------------------- The battle to be da best has just begun

AMAZING!, just amazing. I didnt know there was dat kinda of progress back home. I mean all I hear about is maryooley slaughtering each other. brothers&sisters, thank your for posting this topic, it has definetly gave hope to my ultimate dream of going back home and teaching at a college level. am definetly getting my PhD and my teaching license! ------------------------------ The battle to be da best has just begun

war balayo, say what? honour-killing? brothers killing thier sister, killiiiiiing? malcuuniin dheh? they deserve their punishment,and may I add they had it coming. Now the survey seems little fishy to me and there are questions to be asked with suspicious mind, such as why men only? why only da conservative part? what questions were asked?under what setting? how was da survey designed but most importantly who conducted da survey? See nomads, da rest of da world is out to get us, and by us i mean our faith, da Islamic faith. so whenever you read about those surveys and studies conducted on Islam soil, buckle up and be a lot more suspecious than u normally would. ----------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

Thanks foxy,walaalo. I've been doing ok in dat department lately,and it is not dat i have so much fat to melt, I just want to tone my shape a bit. I've been watching what I eat, especially for those ymmmmmy sanbuus/malawax, and I think i have made my peace with them. ------------------------------- The battel to be the best has just begun

Muhhamed, thanks walaal. jazakallah. because you provided dat website, am listening to the Qura'n instead of Music ------------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

Masha'llah brothers of Islam.I just read the aayah, which was my favorite ayah in da qur'an when i was dugsileey, and i just wanted to cry. everything we have belongs to Allah(swt) but little do we remember that. i was just sitting in my office, angry about how someone had wronged me,and by just reading the ayah, i felt so much better. surely,"Allah loves those contain their anger and those who forgive"( Al-imran) -------------------------- The battle to be the best has just began

say wat? why arent I married? Hellooooo, have you met somali boys lately? Ok. maybe I'm a bit bitter( which aint my foult, really!!)and bit cynical, but seriously i would rather be da old lady with da cats, than to be wifed by most of da boys i have seen, Yuck! Marriage is in Allah's hands, so if u desperate for meeting da right one, kneel down before him and ask, simple as dat.as for me, I'm still shopping for Mr. right and enjoying all da Mr. right nows(da no marriage- material farahs flooding arround). But above all, my education comes first, cuz i got to be able to bring some to da table before i accept any offers -------------------------- The battle to be da best has just begun

Sky, there u again with your injurious insults. wat r u implying when you say let's take a break from the girly-talk? Huh? maxaad tiri? I just had to actually double-check to make sure i wasnt hallucinating from the fasting. r u saying girls cant participate in political disscussion?? ----------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

Waterfall, walaalo when it comes to our holly book and its interpretation, nobody is entitled to their opinion because opinions dont matter. what is clear is clear, and no one but God can save those who strayed. Besides,The brother who wrote dat article is clearly disturbed for two reasons: 1)he claims our culture and our religion can co-habitate, xxhhh! sorry I'm allergic to dilussions. just look at how orphan woman are treated in our culture. 2)the brother actually thinks he is discrediting the wahabs by overcritiqueing their methods of teaching but really, he is dissing Allah's law( subxanalah)by claiming there could be a better community if only the Islamic law wasnt enforced. i dont know if he read his article after he wrote it but clearly that is how his tone comes through. It is only normal that weakest minds burst under the preasure of restricting one's own disastrous desires. so let us drop all pretense, Goath walaal come out and say Islam is too much for you and we will leave all judgement to allah. anyhoo, i didnt know old Somalis used party hard yo! it is almost unbeleivable how they taunt us youngsters about our dresscodes and attitudes, looooooool. --------------------------------------- The battle to be the best has just begun

Isn't amazing how marriage is thought to be co-sharing. but anytime, someone wants to mention the ingridient dat makes good muslim family, the wife gets a never-ending list of do's and dont's. and what does da husband get,hmm let me see, a pat on da shoulder and 'feed your family' friendly advise. seems fishy? and now dat both wives and husbands are working outside da house, wat now? let me tell ya wat, farax now thinks he is off da hook, so he plans for pool nights,sports nights and party nights. in da mean time xalimo consults with her crew and before we congratulated da newlywed couple, farah is shown to da door you keep pushing for traditional roles and marriage will never be da same. ------------------------------------ The battle to be the best has just began