Hello, Ladies. Thanks to all of you who responded kindly. Sometimes, it is better to talk about these kinds of things to friends far, far away than close ones. things are turning from bad to worse.We had the talk. And I (not wanting to go back on my word again) approached the subject nicely. I told him that I understand where he is coming from and that my initial response wasn’t sufficient. I told him that whatever happened, happened. And that it will NEVER happen again. So no worries but that I didn’t understand why he would react to this extreme. He said that he felt like he doesn’t know me anymore and that I could do ANYTHING. And that the trust is damaged (over what? I wanted to shout but I held my tongue) but he promised to not talk about it anymore. So he insisted on coming to work after hours so we can talk (he’s never been at my work) then, as we are walking outside, I forgot that I left a junk of money (cashed my check that same day) upstairs so I was like “oh, I forgot something” lets go back. He didn’t move, and then I noticed that he was looking at this OLD black man walking towards me. So he goes, “Do you know him? Is that why you suddenly remembered something upstairs?” My mouth fell open. I walked him to the guy who was with his wife and I told him I worked there. Turns out, they came to watch their son play basketball. And that they were lost. So I came back to my office, got the money and showed it to him. I then received a phone call from him and he was like “You were so scared when you saw that guy. You must be dating some guy from work and you didn’t want him to see me with you. That is why you almost run in the other direction. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. Blah, blah.” I yelled at him, called him a psycho and some other un lady like things and hanged up.

Never let anyone coerce you into a lie :mad: . Under the intense calls arround the clock, the blame and the humilation of it all, I got trapped. He trapped me. You know what he said, "he would let it go if I got curious one time" I was so exhousted that I said "ok. Fine. That is what happened. Ilaahay ha iga cafiyo and now drop it." He completely flipped and asked "how many of them I watched" "why did I need that" blah. It is hopeless! Girls Help. * no boys's opinions are welcome*

loooool. I'm now giving him the silent treatment so it is past scream! for reall though, what would you do if the person doesnt beleive you and you shattered(accidently of course)his image of you?

No, she is known for her pilates series.

Is God perefctly Evil?! :rolleyes: No, after all he is tolerating your rantings while he can perfectly crush you and your likes

looool. Watch it with him? First of all I cringe everytime he brings up the "movie" and he thinks that I'm being a total two-faced about it. Second, my image is so clean(in his mind) that he'll never beleive that I wanted to see something like that with him because in the movies, I'm always the one closing my eyes and making a big fuzz about nude scenes. It is a lose-lose situation for me really.

eh playing with words again hmm let's just say that being hot and bothered sweetness the climactic conclusion Girl, you're too much! I’m psychologically wounded from this weekend’s experience. I want to die. This past weekend, I rented a movie from this small video store in a walking distance from my house. I wanted a Korean movie, but the guy is soo cheap that he buys movies and copies them and assigns them numbers and different letters so you can’t even bring the box with you :mad: . Anyways, I tell him the number while I'm on the phone and looking for my wallet in my purse at the same time. He gives me a movie and I run home. Later on, I try to watch the movie but notice that it was turned upside down because there is a picture of a Naked woman and I was like I don’t remember the box having this pic. And why is she white instead of Korean. I put on the movie and Wow! Disgusting. It is porn. My little sister comes in the living room but I jump before she sees it and dance around the room trying to hide. Lo and behold there is no ROOM big enough for it so I opt to put it in purse and think return it ASAP. But by the time the family come back the bloody store is close. Fast forward, few hours later, I’m at grocery store food shopping with fiancée and I open my bag looking for wallet again (DAMN that wallet!) and he sees the movie with I completely forgot all about. He snatches it and I snatch it back. He insists on seeing the movie, I ignore him. He assumes the worst. I decide to come clean about the whole situations. He completely misunderstands the situation, asks me how come I didn’t tell him what happened, accuses me of watching porn (cuz after all, I rent movies from there and often, they are foreign movies like Hindi and Korean). And long story short, I just wanted to die. Now, he thinks I’m crazy. He mopes around and asks me WHY DID I WATCH waxaas, about every hour on the hour :eek: .

Gee a girl goes away for two days and miss all the excitement…Sorry for the delayed response, yesterday was a hectic day from gym to shopping to dinner and a movie, which btw reminds me Ibti don’t waste your time on “He is just not that into you” total let down and disappointing. Forget the lecture. Gym? Dear, how do you motivate yourself. Lately, I have so super lazy and unmotivated. I can't get my butt to the gym. I have an expensive gym membership(a generous amount of money comes out of my account the 9th of every month :mad: ) and I recently purchased a Treadmill and I ALSO have tons of excercise DVD's at home(from Pilates, yoga, body-sculpting, to kickboxing )yet I cannot move my sorry behind. I dont know what to do. GIRLS PLEASE HELP!!!

Try Denise Auston DVD's. They are pretty owsome.

Seems like Ibti is coming to her senses about the disastrous theory! Hurray! I personally cannot talk to more than one person at a time. Too much stress and nac nac. I need my peace of mind.

So can you give me examples of the many forms and ways, then I will know what to look out for. You need more info.?* Grabs shaah iyo caano and waits impatiently for SS's lecture on "erotica" 101 and Ibti's paralyzing disgust with her reaction to the whole thing.

So can you give me examples of the many forms and ways, then I will know what to look out for. You need more info.?* Grabs shaah iyo caano and waits impatiently for SS's lecture on "erotica" 101 and Ibti's paralyzing disgust with her reaction to the whole thing.

None of these are dates, so I don’t think they are providing you was already single, but once she meets all these guys then she must pick one and keep the rest in the freezer. @ freezer. Ok, Ibti I see where you’re going with this. However, the “kun la hadal, kow kala bax” theory doesn’t apply here because you’re not in anyway courting any of them. You’re barely on first name basis. Should we apply the theory, this is how it will all play out: B]you will keep talking and getting to know all the guys you’ve mentioned above until marriage is discussed and then, you’ll make a selection about who will make it to the final round![/b] I personally know girls who were “talking” to different guys or were in a multiple relationships until their wedding night. Matter of fact, this one girl I know had the audacity to ask one of the suitors to help her pick out her dinning room set and this poor lad thought it was for her sister rather her and her future husband. And you know what she told me when I asked if she felt like she was being dishonest? She said “ should her husband-to-be decided to leave or didn’t deliver, she wouldn’t care too much because she still has “other” prospects and after all why shouldn’t she because she is not married yet!” :eek: So this kind of thinking is what the theory promotes. In addition, how can you invest emotionally and develop trust if you’ve considering many, many applicants whether they’re in the freezer or not? :confused: It would feel impersonal, I’d imagine. Ashkiro, Every being is free to choose their own path as they see fit, I was simply replying to your comment. It is my perspective, that it is not the number of guys that makes one “scandalous” but the actions that one engages in. You are free to disagree. I agree on the point of personal freedom. But in actual reality, most youngsters engage in most of the actions I’ve mentioned in my post. But even those who don’t, there is something to be said about a girl who is courting a number of men at once. Imagine having 10 or 20 different guys calling and demanding your attention. Even if it is just conversations over the phone, it just doesn’t sound or feel right. I would feel like I’m deceiving or misleading some of them .

I would say, It's qutie scandalous to do so even with one guy. :rolleyes: Like I said, I'm very interested in what people do nowdays than what we "should" or ought to do

I say, lets revive this! What happened to all the NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS. WAS PHYSICAL FITNESS PART OF IT? ARE YOU REACHING THAT GOAL? DO SHARE!

If each of the girls (single of course) here posted the list of numbers on her phone I am sure that 98% of you have at least five male names there who do not happen to be relatives. When pushed you will not have a description for them other than 'phone' buddies! Therefore, the kun la hadal, kow kala bax theory is proven. Old man, you are mistaken. Just because we have multiple phone 'buddies' doesnt mean that we are "courting" them or even have interest in them. So the Theory is yet to be proven :rolleyes: and the burden falls on those who beleive in the system

Now I keep catching myself playing with it and twirling my fingers around it like a happy eighty year old woman who just caught her husband absentmindedly staring at her. , loooooooool. Thatz the most disturbing image I have yet to conjure up.

However, once you agree to go out on a date with someone, you've crossed a threshhold and should be respectful enough to give the brother his dues, a fair chance or tell him where to go. I'm sure that is how you wuld want to be treated. I couldn’t agree more, Hun. This "kun la hadal,kow kala bax" theory(Apparently a well respected theory in the women community cuz my own mom advised me that when I got my heartbroken )is good and danddy if you date like people used to date in the old days. I'm assuming in the old days, girls used to talk to guys and talking meant just that. *I'm asking Aaliyan and Ibti to close their ears here. Ducks from all the gasps and the outright outrage of the learned ** but out here in the West, it is different. “Talking” usually encompasses a whole a lot of things (going out to eat, watching movies, accepting rides, gifts, taking walks together, holding hands, kissing, hugging. I KNOW and You know it happens. Stop hyperventilating!)So now for those of you who believe in this theory, do you see the problem? Isn’t it scandalous to been seen going out and doing some or all the things mentioned above with different guys at a given day or night ? And please, get real. Don’t pull out the “shouldnts” and the “ I wouldn’ts”. So this theory is flawed :rolleyes:

it's offical with this comment now I demand to see a picture of you to ascertain you are as beautiful as you seem to be. No Sis, it has more to do with charm and personality than looks . But seriously, it had a lot to do with me having more male friends than girl friends. And when you have that many male friends, there's bound to be a few who might fall for you. Also, with friendship(without infatuation)you get a chance to know each other rather well and because you know so much about that person's life, you tend to wonder what if? . Not their fault, at all. I'm a big flirt

So the gentelman mentioned from my past, he had this woman who was completely in love with him and was really pushing him to get married to her, and he was keeping in touch and speaking with her whenever she contacted him...To me, I would have handled it differently if it was me, but I had to hear from his side why he was engaging in this behavior and once I understood it I was not bothered by it. Wait? So he knew that the "woman" was inlove with him but no only that "marriage" was discussed or atleast brought up by the "woman" yet he engaged in conversations with this woman whom I'm assuming he had no desire to be with? You must be the most understanding female on the planet, Sis. Maa sha'allah. You must be so secure and so confident. Most women would flip and issue an ultimatum.

Traditionally Somali girls do not term it cheating if they chat with more than one guy at a time. Ibit, the key word is Traditionally. Here in the west, chatting up more than one guy at a time about marriage is Cheating because unlike the old days, guys dont want to stick arround and waste their time while you take your sweet time making a selection. I know a few who drop dead should they find out that their sweetheart is chatting other farahs :eek:

SS, you are being a sly fox . Spill the beans sis. stop dancing arround the issue. What do you mean, his perspective? Did you two sit down and say "if you do such and such" it is ok but if you go beyond "such and such" then, it is cheating. Or did you not care at all because he wasnt qualified for the position of "husbandary" anyways?

Ps. I don't think they are dogs, but its human nature I guess you telling me you haven't ever reacted to an erotic scene in a movie!!! * runs over and shields SS with her own body from Ibti's wrath. Apologizes to IBTI compulsively on SS's behalf * SS, Ibti reacting to an "erotic scene" is out of the question. That girl is like, how you say, a saint?

Looooooool. Reminds me of most of my relatioships with male friends. I think I'll be punished for my indifference cuz I could see them wearing their hearts on their sleeves and serving me with such tenderness and I of course was selfish and looked the other way Oh, if only you could forge attraction

well if we are talkin about cunitaan as in raamsi, ama laba qof oo is raamsaneyso ama is calaanjinaayo dat si different, but the topic says eatin gurls, which means there is some cunitaan goin on there, who knows she might have eaten him before he ate her, meesha waa un la is daaqayaa, is garaaca dheh wali ma fahmin anigu LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, that made my day. Nuune, awoowe get your mind out of the gutter(playing all inocent. Like the other kind didnt even cross my mind ) This is cunitaan as in CANIBALISM as in dhegdheer cunitaan. I hope that helps.