She loved him. What can we say? Lol! Geeljire, I just asked the question, can she get divorced from him without consent? I didnt see any comments insulting HER per se. Could she have given him less chances? Yes!

Choco , You're in Hell. This hell I dont mind. It is the Underworld kind I dont appreciate being sentenced to

Lol@"real wadaad would safe marriage." This is the mentality I'm trying to expell from our minds a people. Why must sh!ty marriages be saved? Why? Why?Why? Jimco wanaagsan 2 you too

Is any teacher here involved in any efforts to remove illiteracy from our communities? There are many, many sub communities here. So do you mean Somalida?

Born in Xamar, raised partially in Kenya, more than half of my life in the U.S. People are taking the 'raised' part of the question to a whole different meaning. Folks who left Somalia at a young age, spent years waiting for sponser and managed to go to the west at the age of >20 are claiming they are raised in Californina. Waa la isu dhiibayaa meesha. True that! I go like WTF? I meet people who tell me they grew up in Wilmar or Hopkins(cities in Minnesota)but when I ask when they got here, they'll go like "I started high school here" :confused: So just cuz you went to high school here which is only 4years doesnt mean you were raised here

think it is worth a response to clarify the job of these 'wadaads'. To help a woman get a divorce is the easy part (which would eventually take place anyway), to ruin a family is not. Therefore, they are right in giving it a couple of attempts before helping with a divorce First of all, you dont have to "believe" the story or even respond to it. But since you are on the "talk show," you said "they dont have to make easy for her to get a divorce" why is that? After all she went through, if she had her fill why not? This is where MOST men have this issue with a woman's decision. Why must they "MAKE SURE" for the 10th time she needs a divorce. Mideeda kale, what is FAMILY? I mean how are these two a functioning family that needs NOT to be ruined on a impulse? Did you even read the story. This isn't a unique story and Somali (and Asians) wadaad (emphasis on some and not all) usually repond with become a raaliyo be patient- this doesn't change the man in question or protect the womans Islamic rights that are getting abused. I've seen it happen so many times, even in serious cases where women end up in hospital because they were told to put up or they'll never smell jannah. No it is not unique at all. This happens aLOT in our community. I once volunteered with a woman at a at domestic abuse shelter. She was in an abusive relationship. She told me her husband beat her up so bad she can't see from one eye very well. She refused to tell the cops what happened and who did it everytime. But she separated from him. The said man then went to the masjid, crying saying he made a mistake(mind you this has been happening for 8years but the beating was never as severe)then the Sheikh came to the woman and said HE will PERSONALLY take responsibility of this man and that the truly repented and changed yada yada. The woman took the man back. One night they had a fight and he pulled out a knife and carved her face. HE then called 911 and told them what happened. He obviously went to jail. It turns out,the man in question had a mental illness no one knew about.

**Hadaaba sidan naar ku galeyso, bal iga siko anah, aan iski sii sheekeysano intii qolalkeena nalooga diyaarinaayo** You cant just go dee. Sheikha inuu kuu diro waaye which is not hard by the way. All you have to do is condone the divorce and viola! adi iyo sheydaan ilmo adeera tihiin nooh

No she didnt. She was here responsoring him when he told her that his Ex left the kids and run off. She only found out the truth later that he snatched the kids from the other woman and threatened to send them back to Somalia if she didnt let him take the kids.

Keep up! I was told you dont need Ab work if you're doing cardio and lifting weights.

She is qof weyn so I never, EVER had a conversation with her about her husband. I mentioned a couple of times that I know it aint my place. Ma hor boodayo ayada. But she is family(not immediate though) and she comes to our house crying and wutnot. Now, if I was truly intervening or scheming ninkaas habeen danbe nabad ma ku seexdeen. But it is kind of hard not to say a thing or two when she tells us the crap she's been through. It boils my blood but I dont say much because a)she is way older than me, so xushmad baa jirto meesha b) I know if she really wanted to she could make his life not worth living and C)I hate lameness so I would lose my cool. I guess my goal for the thread was to ask if a woman can get divorced without the husband's consent and to vent a bit about these called SHEIKHS :mad: who guranteed my residence in HELL.

Yeah, he can! Ninkasta wuu yaqaana what kind of a woman he is dealing with. He obviously knows that she is the type to wait and that since he didnt divorce her, she is stil his. Oh, I didnt know you can get it done without his consent.

I finally experienced the Adrenal rush Athletes talk about!! I always had a love-hate relationship with excercise. For the first time in forever, I felt high in the midst of doing jumping squates and push ups yesterday! I'm taking up mountain climbing this spring IA! So what have you been upto Fitness Freaks?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Then one day she asked him and he said yes. He MARRIED another woman. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Then packed his stuff and left to live with his new wife. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LOL@ looking for contradiction where there is none! Go back and re-read the story. The married man started seeing another woman. Rumors started. But the wife refused to believe it. This went on for a couple years. She obviously knew he was somewhere doing something but she would make excuses for his absenses because he is a TAXI driver and he works nights, get it! When she confronted him, he confessed. She wasnt obviously all smiles and congratulatory about it, so they fought and he LEFT for good to live with his new wife since they didnt have to hide it anymore. Ibti, She wants to be DIVORCED. He already hit the road. So it is my understanding that the MAN needs to agree and give her the papers in front of witnesses. If he refuses(which he did)she needs people who can Islamically get it done for her. Can she Islamically say, "I'm done" and re-marry or do whatever she wants? I DONT think so.

Sorry C&H, I know she is your family, but walahi it is all her fault. Uuuf, something’s you do not need to ask anyone, shike or otherwise. The last mistake (of her many) was asking them for permission. Somalis think if you ask, you are not sure, even if it is something as small as asking for water (they think you want food or juice or tea) so always be specific; I want my divorce paper today, for these reasons, where do I sign, I am already late by yrs. I agree most of it IS her fault for accepting such B.S. But the family left her alone because to each its own. But Ibti, You and I both know thats not how divorce works in Islam. You dont say "I'm done. Show me the dotted line" and there is no sign up sheet at the Mosque. She happens to be one of those people who has UNSHAKEN belief in the authority of the Masjid. This why she chosen the IMAM over say, her cousins or reer tolkeed to get the divorce from this man. This is not what bothers me though. What bothers me is THESE men who convince women to stay in downright Sh!ty marriages.

C&H Had my fill already. So gotta skip and hop lately - like let the mo'fo' burn philosophy. What are you on about? Ma qafiiftay kistoo?

C&H: Apparently I'm going to hell ? ' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You are? Is it confirmed? Well, hey, safe journey. Well Yeah, it is confirmed on the Sheikh's end Kas iyo maagad u Skipped the question mark, eh?

First order of business, she needs to return those 2 children to the woman from whom they were snatched. The birth mother should have her children back. Now for payback, this is what happens when you shack up with a low-down, dirty b@stard. What is she doing going to a sheikh and shoving religion into this matrimonial mess? If she really wanted a divorce, she would simply make his life hell and drop off the first couple of kids at the new hag's place. He would divorce her before her child-kidnap-condoning behind sat back on the sofa. Naden, The poor children's mother is in AFRICA! So she cant return them at the moment. I agree with your second comment.People tend to get what they EXPECT to get He will not divorce her. And this is why I support registering marriages so that if something like this happens, the law will take care of it.

C&H, of course it’s an outrage. If the Imam is not doing his job, find another mosque. It’s every Muslims duty to seek knowledge, you don’t just leave it up to others who hold positions of responsibility. Even if you don’t know anything it’s a basic human instinct to change that which is causing you difficulties. Secondly, your house is your own space, wacdigooda banaka ha la joogan? Well it is not my place to seek Imams for her. I hinted at her to talk to different people about it. She'll have to do the digging and fight for her divorce. Yeah, what f-ed me up was their audacity to come to the house EVERY night for dacwa! I mean, she has HIS two kids in the house. She cant even say sh!t about him infront of the kids. I wouldnt have got involved had THEY not involved me. I mind my own bussiness.

I blame the woman and she deserves what she gets. Lily, it is not about blame hun. I'm just outraged that the "Culima"(people I respected oo quraanka i baray)would do such thing to a woman. Isnt this abuse of one's authority? :mad: :mad: :mad:

Iyada lee tartiib wax ugu sheeg, nimanka dadoow maxaa gorodda kuu geliyey? iyadaa raadsatay maaha?. Haddeysan rabin cid ku qasbi karta maleh! go'aan lee ha qaadato, haddii sida aad sheegaysid run tahay anaa KITAABKAAS u haayo Aniga cidna ma raadsan, THEY talked to me like I was the one making her leave :confused: Either way it is HER decision. She is qof weyn so I never, EVER had a conversation with her about her husband. But now she is fed up and she decided to leave on her own but when you hold HELL over someone's head, it has an impact especially if the said person doesnt know the Sharia

Here is the short version of the situation. There is a relative of mine who is married to a man who is no good. She used to send him insane amount of money when he was in Africa, then she brought him and his two children (whom he snatched from his Ex) here. She has kids on her own who he physically and mentally abused. She is financially responsible for everything even though he drives a cab. He says he doesn’t make more than the couple of hundreds he sends to him mother back home. Fine! It was her bussiness! So this supposedly poor man decided to take off with another woman. His wife refused to believe her husband would do such thing and was in denial for a couple of years. Then one day she asked him and he said yes. He MARRIED another woman. Then packed his stuff and left to live with his new wife. The first wife was beside herself. He left his two children with her and no matter how many mean relatives came to her and told her to throw his children out on the street, she refused because these babies were snatched from their mother. And she is the only mother they know so she refused to send them to someone else. So a couple of years later (he was living the building right across hers all this time) she decided to seek divorce. So she goes to the masjid and tells them. The sheikh calls the man and tells him his wife wants a divorce. The man says he has no intention of divorcing this woman and that he wants her back. So he starts calling the house yada yada. Then, the sheikhs this time turns around and says this to the woman “this is not a justifiable reason to seek divorce. Your husband has a right to marry as many as four wives. And whatever else he did he is still your husband and as long as you’re married to him you have wifely duties you need to fulfill or you’ll go to hell.Divorce is karahiyo please consider him” Then the usual iska daa, ilaahay baa kaaga aarayo aakhiro iyo asagay danbi ku tahay insues. They didn’t stop there, now they are harassing her, coming to the house unannounced all hours of the day and night for dacwa on xaqa ninka iyo naagta ka dhaxeeyo!!! There are kids in the house! So, the other night I was picking up my mom from the house and who do I see? Yeah! They know my mom and they ask me to talk some sense into my aunt. So I tell them off! And we get into it. I ask him what makes them fit to judge this man is a good husband. Do they even know the man they're backing up? This lady works all night cleaning toilets to support her two kids and HIS two kids. WTF? :confused: Why would you use ALLAH to force a woman to be with a man? He then tells me “this is what’s wrong with dumarka Somalida today, ignoring the Sharia and following dhaqan gaalo where people decide on emotions. Ilaahay ka cabso and gurigan ha duminina. Sheydaan kaliya ayaa kala geeyo nin iyo naagtiisa! Hadii kale cadaabtaad u socotaa!!!!” :confused: :confused:

p.s I hope none of you are having sex with your students :rolleyes: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Malika, I've heard the importance of being fair and consistent many times, but I'm at a loss when it comes to practical application. Would it be fair to treat chronic disrupter and a good student who makes an honest mistake once in a blue moon with the same level of sterness? Yes you would. You have to be consistant or you would lose control of the class. For instance, we have a classroom rule about not putting your head on the table. So everytime a student puts his/her head on the table to sleep during class, they have to eat lunch with me and miss goofing around with their friends. So it doesnt matter if the NICE kids does this or the DISRUPTER does it. I approach them the same and say "I'm sorry, but you know the rule. See you at lunch." The NICE kid will obviously not be happy. He or She will point out the fact they never misbehave. Something happened last night at home or they're sad. I will again apologize and point out that we set up these rules together and if I dont enforce it, I will be unfair. Who decides what is fair? Adolescents that are constantly monitoring the teacher with their own view of fairness? You cant just spring rules on them. There needs to be rules and consequences they agreed upon the first they've met you. Please if you don't mind give me some examples, you too Chocolate&Honey, because I know that also not being uniform will make the chronic disrupters testy. "Ohh look, you won't punish him cause he's your favorite student." Many feel as if I have a personal grudge against them. The favoritism is mostly in their head. You cant help it. They're kids. When they dont get their way, they'll accuse you. In America it is different. They'll accuse you of being RACIST even if you are from the same race or sexism even if you're the same sex. It makes me laugh when a black student tells me I'm racist for favoring the Latino kid.

Ina lilah wa ina ilehi Raajicuun. Samir iyo imaan walaal.

Well, what did people expect him to say?