opportunist

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Everything posted by opportunist

  1. Purity seems archaic; abstinence impossible. Why wait when everyone else is getting the goods now? It’s just sex waiting till marriage seems outdated and prudish......there are more than a few healthy practical benefits of regular sex. For example, they say sex helps reduce menstrual pain in women,And in general, because sex reduces stress, it helps maintain a healthier immune system.....besides life is too damn short why wait around till marriage, what happens if the so called mr right or miss right never comes along......live life waiting and die while waiting....what a shame way to live! helps to practise before you commit
  2. The Flipmode Nomad Member: 5003 quote: ceeyb although funny ..We are 100 percent muslims and do not condone such activities .. Dude take your BS somewhere else. this is the Joke section, anything applies
  3. The Koala and the Little Lizard A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says "HeyKoala ! what are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!" So the koala looks down at him and says: "Faaaaarrrrk dude.......how much water did you drink?!!" enjoy
  4. A married businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500. He spends the night but before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but will have the secretaries write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT". On the way to the office he regrets what he has done realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note: Dear Madam: Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that - 1) it had never been occupied 2) that there was plenty of heat, and 3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note: Dear Sir, First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady. SEND THE RENT IN FULL OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO CONTACT YOUR PRESENT >LANDLADY. enjoy