Welcome.Soo Dhowoow. Karibu. Hucheng. Itcheng. Tafadal. Xhing-Hwang. BEM-VINDO...I learneed the last one three days ago. Peace, Love & Unity.

Salam Aleikum W.W First and Foremost GREETINGS all the way from the mother continent and WELCOME aboard to this mental institution called Somaliaonline or SOL for short. There are bunch of lunatics and mentally unstable people found here and in due time you'll get to know them one by one…some will be friends with you while some will become your foes just for the sake of it...some will be your gossip and xanka pals others will be your information recourse and will give you the map of the hidden treasure that's known as PM (Private Messaging) and before long you will know the names of all the girls and the boys that ay u caleemo ruxayaan and last but not least some will be an irritation to you like a summer sneeze and will get under your skin any given moment and I'm sure you'll get used to it all and the sooner you do the better it will be for all after all we're all bunch of lunatics with taste for new blood. Stay away from guys like me as we work for Ministry of Boredom of SOL and we only offer confusion and never solution...as you can imagine we have a life time ban from the intellectual's dome firmly stamped on our foreheads because we refused to believe that we are mentally unstable like them as we couldn't understand why we would need to argue with an unknown being that only exists inside a monitor and we never get bothered by what some one that we don't even know exists have to say so we argue with our shadows instead simply because we took the saying "take some one of your own size" literally to the heart and for us the next best thing is our shadow...and oh yeah we also steer clear from the ladies as we found out that they are nothing but trouble and we believe being a SOL member is trouble enough in itself. Stay away from the 19 year old girls (in truth they are 39) and for your own sake stay miles away from the single ones for they see you as a new threat to them and until they figure out your weakness or better your martial status expect to be picked on daily or even ganged upon after all every Zulu Female wants to show the new member of the pride that she's indeed the Alpha Female. And that was me Guduudane Guurguurte Guurdiid Galac Gaabow Gasiirow Gaban Garbaduub giving you all the low down and dirty shame of this site LIVE from my office in the ministry of Propaganda iyo Geedaha next to the office of midget malnutrition just opposite of the monkey business office that is on the left side of the building which is right side just before you reach jikin business lounge where the ministry of lies and daydream is situated but before it was on 8th floor behind the ministry of backbiting that was over the ministry of booto iyo handed office which is now under the ministry of kud iyo kir offices...are you with me? now do you want me to give you direction to the office of ministry of xanka including who's folling who?....Back To You Ms Qorfe. Peace, Love & Unity.

Muted Wisdom: Thinking a thought that you can't sustain can't arrange your feelings around the pain heart melting the veins breaking your skin taking a breath...soul suffocating from with in a dark cold cage traps your heart swelling it whole body pays the toll...left a hole...you crumble and fold life traces new paths...left with new questions to ask new destiny a new task...find foes and new friends to unmask feeling no remorse...fight through the agony and tears walk a strong steady pace cause no end will near hold your head high and leave room for love no one thing is enough...seek glory from above leave a world behind resting your soul for your presence to remain forever long after you're gone remember an unhappy souls seek life while the happy one fears the unhappy be strong and live out the hard times cause a fearful soul filled with life will be happy. Peace, Love & Unity.

My Brother Kulmiye...like they say in U.S...You The Man. Peace, Love & Unity.

Salam Aleikum W.W The worst thing they can say about me is that I do not mix with them that much but then again I'm sure you'd have done the same thing if you were in my shoes and had some from Ethiopia who carry tons of swagger and constantly argue just about anything and everything and then there are those from Kenya who distant themselves from anything and everything about Somali and then there are those from Bari (my favourite...because most of them are loaded...lol) with their typical "Boowe beryahaan laguma arag" Alxamdulillaah we get along just fine just like I get along with any other Somali...tol or no tol and if they need anything from me then I help out in whatever way I can so one day I hope to get offered to the hand of the prettiest lady of the tolka in marriage. As a Somali the tolka play a big part in our daily lives regardless whether we like it or not so we should try to be as tolerant as humanly possible towards them and hope they would do the same for you. Peace, Love & Unity.

Salam Aleikum W.W I dare you to traslate this. Ninkii Waaw Yiraahdo us lee laga war sugaa. Salam Aleikum W.W Peace, Love & Unity.

SOL-Session inactiveness defies talent that can never be seen legendary material but cannot me deemed posting pieces with emotion that can not be told expression in every sentence that can never get old rhyming words with words as I collaborate with you one by one lyrically expressing ourselves as we share work with each other blank pieces of white papers ready to be written upon the pen in my hand thinks for itself as my hand begins to lay down my thoughts on my journal despair is all that comes to my mind because we get no recognition so somaliaonline.com poet, I ask you...is there a definition? the world is full of pain there is no positives, just plain pain Angels shed tears when it rains for evil people pray for our demise forever a warrior, that's what I will be there is only room in the home of the brave so don't look down upon me when a rain drop lands on my grave I am open to any and all who ask it takes a task for me to try and be close minded blame me for listening to my head for I bring my heart when I talk I'd join you for a walk for miles with nothing but genuine smiles I would act out my past if you just asked. I had faith in my own race but now I despise the human race...please don't bother singing a sad song because the old me is dead and gone and this is my SOL-session tone. Peace, Love & Unity.

Ibtisam: Correction: I didn't come to S.A to make a living...I don't think I ever had a plan or a target to do any specific thing...I came here in my mid teens without my family ever knowing it and I was influenced by this guy who told me we could be emperors in S.A and I just believed him and followed him here...he paid all my expenses but to cut long story short...what better place? we have Somalis from all over the world coming vto invest money here...this is where its at...believe me they have it easier here...ok the crime rate is something that the wild west would've been proud of but is there a country where one can live forever? my point is if its your time to go...you will go whether you like it or not but don't throw away what you have in hope of finding better things... sorry I cannot sympathize with someone who is a muslim yet wants to commit suicide just because he/she wants to live in Europe or America...that's pathetic to say the least. If I insist on risking my family's wellbeing and everything that I've worked so hard for in hope of achieving repatriation to another country...I wouldn't want any one to feel sorry for me...in fact I would want you to ridicule me...can you do that for me? Do you know some of these people own multiple businesses...where is the Imaan? where's the logic thinking here? the community elders and the sheikhs went to see them but guess what they did...they booed them and chased them away. South African government informed them that within the next 2 months these makeshift camps will be closed down and their permits are cancelled so its either to Malawi or god knows where! Hadeey sidaa la noqotay waa loo sheegay xaalku siduu yahay but they still insist on demanding in la qaado and UN said they've no plans whatsoever for them but what they tell each other and what you read on the papers are two entirely different things...beenta ay isu sheegayaan hadaad maqasho waad dhiman laheyd sidaad u qosleyso. enough said...I have better things to do. Salam Aleikum W.W Peace, Love & Unity.

I ONLY feel sorry for the innocent children ee qabowga lagu dilaayo...spare the children as I have a plan for them but PLEASE let the useless parents drown because we can do without such human garbage. War hadii la dhimanayo dhareerka waa la iska duwaa agaa...dadku caqiida yaraa! bal maxey sameyn lahaayeen hadey waddanka imaan lahaayeen waqtigey Soomaalidu train stationada seexanayeen oo dadku shiidka wada ahaa? If I write a book about those horrendous experiences no one would ever believe me because there were times when we would buy sugar and mix it with water and then drink it as we just couldn't afford to buy food yet begging never crossed our mind never mind suicide (by the way there's no stronger bond or friendship than the one established on an empty stomach...take my word for it) but Alxamdulillaah today Somalis own restaurants,lodges,shopping malls and countless houses in many different cities in S.A and I promise you today its zillion times easier to make money compared to those days yet they choose to be in camps that even street children wouldn't even choose to live in. :mad: One madax lafoole was making more than 50 doolar a day at my friend's barbershop sababtoo ah wuxuu shaqeeyo 50% ayuu lahaa and he isn't even in S.A for 6 months hadaba ninkii manta xero ayuu kujiraa oo qaboow baa ku dilaya meesha...so how can I sympathize with such doqon? Teeda kale waddankan dhiig Soomaaliyeed baa ku daatay (almost 500 times) that means xaq baanba ku leeyahay so there’s no way I'm ever going to leave until I'm compensated by making me and many others filthy rich and some of us are already on their way to promised land and we can really do without the distraction of these boneheads so I say loudly...Let Them Drown And Let The Sharks Have A Field Day. Salam Aelikum W.W Peace, Love & Unity.

I'm deeply sorry my brother and I will pray for them and all the Muslims who find themselves in the same situation Insha Allah. Salam Aleikum W.W Peace, Love & Unity.

How about..."You can shove it up your monkey behind"? is there anybody in here who has the guts to say such thing to his/her boss? Peace, Love & Unity.

Northerner, I'm sorry to say this my brother but Burco is very small town and it reminds me of Baadiye or Miyi and here I was thinking Burco was developed city and I was scared for my beloved Kismayo but now I know the most beautiful building in the entire Burco is the mosque...Maasha Allah but other than that meeshu waa tuulo and I think I'm going to pass Sheikh Mustafa's invitation to visit him there. PS. Ibtisam...in what language did you communicate with the people especially those in the Miyi? not sign language I hope. Peace, Love & Unity.

Salam Aleikum W.W What if this whole story of 'Me Without My Hijab' is just another propaganda aimed to mislead the Muslim sisters in the west to show them that in order for them to progress they have to abandon their traditions be it religious or cultural? I don't care who wrote it I don't buy it one bit and its utterly disrespectful towards Muslim sisters whether Arab or Chinese because this 'article' is making them look like they have no principles whatsoever or they can't make a decision without the outside influence...which is utterly not true. I know countless sisters who have been wearing Hijab ever since they were children and still continue to wear this day while living in the U.S and hold a steady job...what about those? why not write about them? PS. Ibtisam you've my respect my sister. Salam Aleikum W.W Peace, Love & Unity.

Genocide Generation: Without grasping on to the facts that reality holds the grim fate of my divided Somali nation here to shatter my whole being in pieces I watch the world disintegrate from the sin while the dust flies and I'm blown away with the wind facing the animosity and the hatred the nation holds close addictive as narcotics...how these politicians overdose they portray minorities as hopeless beings within the system they wonder why i dislike them with reconstructive criticism I'll be reluctant to put my trust in a warlord's palms taking the money that I make and place in thunderous bombs the skies shattered with a colour that resembles the bloodshed in my hometown where used to be my old playground is a graveyard we don't need more innocent children and mothers dead within the realm of death that their greed brought up they get us caught up while we filling the graves gradually the world is captured in the rapture of genocidal fatality standing idle watching the massacre engulf blood like dracula taking lives leaving the earth without a person to back it up we need to take a stand against the rising criminals before the weapons of doom drop & burn the horizon to minerals killing the masses in discriminately without a hint of guilt forgetting that you killing yourself with the hatred you hold you shame us all with your greed that put you beneath the feet of the enemy. Mr President...I'm Ashamed To Share The Name Somali With You. Peace,Love & Unity.

I predict England to win it. Peace, Love & Unity.

My Brother Northerner, I can achieve that goal without even breaking a sweat...Alhamdulillaah I've already quit many other unpleasant habits that I use to have and to hell with Arsenal...no more spending my money on them...I've had enough of making yahood richer with my hard earned cents...let somebody else do it...hence my reluctance to go to the sports section. I'm too old to be a football junkie...it's about time I accepted that and get on with my life after all we wont receive medals or first class tickets to paradise by memorizing the names of these monkeys. Salam Aleikum W.W Peace, Love & Unity.

Originally posted by Cadaan: Actually Bob, all my old friends either think I'm an id*iot, or that I became a Muslim just for the sake of marrying her and that one day I'll eventually turn back to kufr, which I will never, ever do. Basically they're not trying to hear the haqq, and I won't waste my time with them anymore. As for the "racist" tag, don't feel that way, because I even call myself that and I would never be offended by that term. But I think I may be a racist myself, because I honestly don;t like white girls. I'm white myself, and I think a relationship with another cadaan would be boring and they just doesn't appeal to me. Salam Aleikum W.W I fully understand your point my brother as there are many Somali guys that I know who wouldn't even look at a Somali girl let alone marrying one and there's nothing you can do but respect their decision and I'm sure there are many sisters out there who feel the same way. I'm sorry I don't have a single sister, the 5 I've got are all married, however I honestly believe that you can find a Somali sister without ever needing to live in London or Toronto or Kismayo for that matter and like Jaceylbaro I'm not even going to suggest Somalia to you for obvious reasons but what you can do is go to the mosque or Masallah in Calgary and ask your local Imam for help because I know many non-somali brothers and sisters who got married that way...that's another option which you can take advantage of my brother. I think its hard not only for you but for anybody to meet a decent girl on the street Somali or not like for example when you tried to approach those sisters the other day and you know what...the chances are they would've done the same thing to me as well which is understandable marka keep your head high and make du'ah and pray Istigharah and before you know it you will find a pious muslimah Insha Allah. I wish you all the best Insha Allah my brother. Salam Aleikum W.W Peace, Love & Unity.

Cadaan (I feel like a racist calling you that and in Africa they know that I'm not a racist but a darn Somalicist)...I'm not some one that you'd describe as a 'softie' but you had me reaching for my hankie there my brother from another mother who happens to be from Calgary...see I got a (bad) flu today just like you because I was walking in the rain more than I should have but other than that I'm OK alxamdulillaah...thanks for asking...! Naah...you didn't think that I was going to say that I cried did you? Oh...thank god for that... Back to the topic in hand...I'm not qualified to give an advice to any one and so are these people but they still insist on giving you one yet all they do is confuseyou as no two people gave you the same answer which proves my theory that these bilcaan and baraar don't know what the UNHCR they're talking about. If I were you...I would very much try to return the favour by helping a non-muslim lady discover Islam and with Allah's will she may become a muslim and a good wife to you...imagine the kheyr in that my brother...now when you go back to your Kingdom of Calgary...If I were you I'd try to find friends that were close to me before you became a Muslim and share the treasure you've found...I'm sure they would love to hear what you've discovered...see where I'm going with this? I can't advice you to marry any particular group as only Allah s.w knows who you're going to end up with and nobody can say with full conviction that so and so would make a good wife/husband but all we can do is follow our heart...trust Allah s.w and hope for the best the rest are irelivent...I wish you all the best Insha Allah. PS. Sorry about my bad jokes...I was trying to get rid of my sneezes because I heard the ancinet Chinese believed that if you told a bad joke...the sneezes will stop. Salam Aleikum W.W Peace,Love & Unity.

I said it before and I will say it again...and this time i will say it LOUD and CLEAR...Somebody please sue this girl for butchering the language...I can't take it anymore.... :mad: Jaceylbaro...you're the Guulwade here or is it C.I.D? Where's your patriotism? inantan xidh oo muftaaxana idaha cooska ugu dhex qadhi oo ha liqaane sababtoo ah intaan ka badan u dulqaadan kari meyno..eish hada? :mad: Barafasoor-Geel, I feel so bad and so stubidh when I remember Euro 2004...I was talking to my Aabo (Bless his soul) on the phone and watching the match at the same time when suddenly the team I was supporting scored and I shouted "Gooooaaaaaaal" on top of my voice and then I remembered inaan odaga dhegaha uga qeyliyey and he couldn't believe how much control these bloody gaalo had over me...I was so embarrassed and I couldn't stop apologizing... this is madness really...I MUST stop watching football and I will be able to stop it sooner rather than later Insha Allah...I don't need it. Peace,Love & Unity.

as much as I love Kenya...Garissa and Eastleigh in particular I'm with the wabongo on this one...! TZ Juu. Peace,Love & Unity.

My Brother Jamaal...if your family had an Ice Cream plus Cinema business then that means you've hit the jackpot...I've got few guys from Garissa and I will ask them about the Cinema and the Ice Crea...I'm sure they'd know it. it feels so good to go back to the past and reminisce about the golden days when I had no care in the world for anything whatsoever simply because I had my parents and the majority of my siblings next to me which always filled me with joy...I had a beautiful childhood even though it was wild and crazy at times it was still fun being Brother Sharmarke...we were only there for few months as we were on our way to Nairobi but you may know Mohammad-Shukri AKA Mrefu who happens to be my uncle and he used to visit us in Somalia every school holiday and even though he's my uncle he was just few years older than my elder brother...he's Garissa Ndogo born and bred but he now lives in San Jose with his wife and kids and legend has it that the Imaam of Masjid Taqwa told the land lords around that area in qololka albaab banaanka leh eysan ka kireen my uncle and his boys....this was in the early 90's sometime between 91-93 when the Imam dropped the bomb and we were long gone by then...in fact my brothers were already in U.S. Naah...the kids were cool as far as I'm concerned even though the only time I mingled with them was during the Madrassa and our teacher was Sheikh Mahboub (do you know him?) he was nice to us because he knew our father...he was a good man...May Allah s.w protect him and reward him for teaching us the Qur'an Insha Allah.... my brothers were ciyaal maamo (I'm in trouble ) and I very much doubt if any girl had actually given them time because as soon as the sun set Mom would have them in the house...so they could've looked and admired for all they wanted but couldn't dare touch it and that's the reality. I went back to Garissa in 96 to say Good Bye to the relatives and I only stayed for two nights and at that time there were more xaliimos from Somalia than those from Garissa and that'sall the memory I have of Garissa... Beleive it or not I've never even seen NEP Girls school even though it was just few steps away from where we lived...but I know all about Hussein Maendleo household where I had a wonderful lunch thanks to my Kismayo comrade who also happened to be Maendeleo's nephew and I couldn't help seeing few pretty faces around which I've got to say took my breath away and that's not something that happens easily at all...I'm pretty much hard to please especially when it comes to the ladies. all in all I love Garissa and I always defend it when the galtida try to put it down and if everything goes according to plan I'm going to go there before the end of this year Insha Allah...here in S.A its become a trend to marry the sisters from Garissa...in fact this weekend a friend is getting married to a sister from Bulla Sheikh but she was born in Ijara and you guys are all INVITED. PS.Sorry brothers for my belated reply...I've forgotten all about this...Thousand Apologies. Malika...its all yours...go ahead and hijack it and don't 4get to ask for the highest ransom in the history of mankind. Peace,Love & Unity.

North Eastern Province Girls High school better known as NEP Girls is a school in Garissa which every boy in town seemed to have some sort of obsession over it...it's said that the most beautiful girls in Garissa attended that school and they had more Supuus than any other school in town or the province. shortly after coming to Garissa with my family after fleeing the civil war my two elder brothers started talking about this particular school which obviously I was not aware of its existence, my brothers seemed like they were smitten, one was in his early teens and the other was in his late teens and coming from Somalia where the people from NFD considered to be Heaven on earth...my brothers soon started to settle down and get used to their surroundings while I stayed behind with Hooyo and the rest of my sisters. I was later told that NEP girls students were considered to be the holy grail if you like and if a boy managed to attract the attention of certain princess from that school he was "The Man" amongst his boys with their raging hormones and he was basically entitled to have your attention all day everyday so he could tell you all about 'Ms Thang' and there's every chance that most of those boys were lying but somehow you never questioned the master or even doubted him otherwise you will soon be considered as an outcast who rebelled against the Alpha Male. My brothers never shared their conquest with me and I never bothered to ask and to be honest I wasn't even interested at that time as I haven't discovered the fairies yet but I wasn't deaf nor dumb and of course there were the evidence of the smitten boys running around including my brothers who suddenly started to spend few extra minutes in front of the mirror. Ask any boy from Garissa and as soon as you start mentioning the name of NEP Girls watch him drool and if he doesn't he's probably buffoon or lying like the most Faaraxs always do when it comes to admitting their feelings for Xaliimo. My brother, the younger of the two whom we later became great friends said to me just the other that so and so is the most beautiful girl he's ever laid his eyes on and I thought he was saying that because maybe she was his first crush but he insisted that she was not only pretty but also beautiful regardless and who am I to argue with him? Where's Jamaal 11...what have you got to say for yourself old boy? Oops time to go...I will add few more lines soon Insha Allah... Peace, Love & Unity.

Originally posted by Abtigiis & Tolka: ^ Sexual exploitation of refugees baa lagugu qaadi adi waa dhow. Adiga suuq xirka dhaaf...teeda kale sir ahaan baan idinkugu sheegay ee hadalka hoos udhig yaan la maqlin...waad ogtahay halkan waa full of Die Hard Feminists . Peace, Love & Unity.

Originally posted by Baashi: BOB, trust me buddy managing one household in Qurboland is extremely challenging. Kids with all their blessing are pain in the neck -- they are full of energy and if you want to have them spend less time in front of TV or video games you gotta get them out of the house and have them entertain themselves with sports. Too much work wallahi. Awoowe danni kaa adag Hibaaq, Haboon, iyo Idil oo i wada dhawaaqaya baanan dan iyo heelo ka lahayn . Brother hadaan berri shabeel ahaa haatan salkaan dhulka dhigay Bro I feel your pain ...libaax duqoobay mukulaal aa ku cayaarto...waxba kaama yaqaanaan. Bro aniga waxaad igu ogtahay gabdhaha xerooyinka qaxootiga joogo ee Allah ka tuuga inu usahlo midee weesada ku dhowrtaan...ogoow kuwaasaa marwooyin run ah illeyn waxee diyaar uyihiin inee reer dhaqdaan. kuwa qurbaha joogo aniga waaba ka cabsadaa inee indhaha faraha iga galiyaan oo waxba kuma darsado...hada my penpal is from Ifo Refugee Camp and she introduced me to her friend from xerada Dhagaxley marka hoosha waa isku dhacsantahay. Peace, Love & Unity.

Baashi, What about you? when are you going to get the second,third or even forth for that matter? Peace, Love & Unity.