loool..Ngonge. What's the real reason you got the weight/scale machine for? ...just curious

LMAO........GOOD ONE

I personaly dont have the audacity/inda adeeg to ask my wife to be, to get tested. Intresting question...lemme ponder some more

To many chiefs and no indians..... Every Tom,Dick, and Harry with an opinion is jumping into politics, and in turn causing us to run around in circles. I applaud him for his conscience choice of avoiding politics, and using litreture as a conduit to voice his opinion.

This is a true story (supposedly) about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just ! from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!". Then he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this ! guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members & friends.....$32,000. Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion...............$3,000. Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui............$8,500. The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man .............. PRICELESS. There are some things money can't! buy, for everything else there's MasterCard!

Go to your local novelty store, buy some itching powder, and sprinkle some on her bedsheets..just kidding In situations like that i refrain from any confrontations and remind myself that they are "guests" and their stay is temporary....if it was a permanent situation then drastic measures such as the above would be implemented.

Best of luck in your future intentions.

i heard once said that a woman tries to fix the man she is dating...... Yaab badanaa ....walaal scorpion how do you "fix" a man? u cant change a person if thats what ur implying..they have to be willing to change on their own ( thats if they have a problem at all)

Women complicate things seemingly always trying to find reasons for why men do what they do There's your answer, if ladies just let relationships take their natural course instead of looking for flaws in them, life would be easier. Women who pay attention to detail and analyze every little detail are beyond irritating. Ooops im venting again.

Lmao ....Funny

lol..feebaro you took the words right out of my mouth.

Allah created Male and Female for Intimate Companionship aka SEX and Kids You cant be Serious, is that what the male and female relationship is limited to ?. Besides friendship can take many forms

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In." 5. Put decafe in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors" 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." 8. Dont use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Ask people what sex they are.Laugh hysterically after they answer. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To go." 12 . Sing along at the opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. 17. When the money comes out the ATM,scream "I won!, I won!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!" 19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Khayr thinks is a turn off, and Sophist disagrees,perfect example of different strokes for different folks. Modesty i think 5'4 is an attractive hieght for a lady. Keep in mind beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Everyone at one point or another falls victim to racism in some shape, form or fashion. Thierry - not to change the thread topic but the mention of sweden makes my skin crawl. Ive seen 2 guys who were there in the late 70's early 80's who came back to somalia and were complete lunatics. I dont know what exactley transpired, but no amount of medication or wadaad could cure them. Last i heard one of them is still sick. I know this is common everywhere nowadays but back then it was unheard off

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 mile per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut." The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says," Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?" "Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."

Call me slow but the first one i got with no problem ....Im still trying to figure out the punchline on second one.

From the little ive heard of williams he seems to be a decent man who stuck up for his principles. I dont know why people automatically associate tyson with his conversion to islam. Aside from him being the youngest champion, the next thing they always mention is his religion. Its sad what happened to him, but check the link below and you'll realize you reap what you sow. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/inside_game/lester_munson/news/2002/06/06/munson_insider/

Do they really have blond high lights? i thought the flash in the camera caused that distortion. I guess somebody is sponsering them, and probably requested they take the pic for PR puposes. Regardless they should have held both flags of the same size up

TYSON LOST.!!!!!!!!!!

Tyson is on the chopping block tonight and i personaly think he's goind down in less than 6 rounds. Tyson is past his prime,and definitely slower and his reflexes aren’t as acute as they used to be, considering his age at 38 years old. KO IN 6 ...any wagers

I happened to come across this article ,and i think this guy hit the nail on the head regarding this issue.This was written in 2000 during the djibouti conference, its 2004 and yet another conference!!! If your going down the same path, and acheiving no results then you need to choose another path -------------------------------------------------- NEED FOR A TECHNOCRATIC GOVERNMENT Dr. Hassan Ali Mirre In a previous presentation the thesis was forcefully advanced that Somali political crisis was primarily due to the sheer incompetence of our political leaders. While this viewpoint hardly received any attention at the conference judging from the contents of its proceedings developments, there are inadvertently giving solid confirmation to the validity of this conclusion. After several months of discussion, argumentation and consultation, the delegates have adopted the distribution of parliamentary seats on clan basis – a development that has instantly opened up a Pandora’s box which is already blocking the progress of the conference and may even exert far-reaching consequences on its success or failure. It is important to direct closer scrutiny to certain vital aspects strategically related to the endeavor to find adequate solution for this knotty problem. THE CLAN AS A GUIDE. The CLAN is a false idol that has mesmerized our minds for centuries and has enslaved our thinking and our existence. The Somali society derives no perceptible benefit or any constructive contribution from our submission to its guidance. It has indeed diverted us from following the steps of the human caravan on the correct road of economic, social and political progress toward a cull-de-sac where internecine conflict and sterile warfare dictate the pace of life and continuously swallow up the meager energies and scarce resources of our masses. As such, the Clan does not deserve to be viewed or adopted as a strategic guide to our political decisions and thinking. We Somalis are fortunate in possessing most of the requisite qualities and preconditions for nationhood-common language, history, culture, sense of belonging etc.-albeit sorely lacking the vision to grasp, recognize and act on the value of this shared heritage. To resort to clan as a useful political instrument is, as I see it, a grave mistake that will not only produce dangerous consequences but will surely exert negative repurcussins on our national life for many years to come. 2. RESURRECTION OF A SOMALI GOVERNMENT. There is no doubt that SOMALIA desperately needs to rebuild its political institutions – Government and parliament – so as to regain its lost status as a sovereign state. At this stage the relevant question that calls for closer analysis and consideration is: what kind of government? A jerry-built government composed of the remnants of the military Dictatorship that has enslaved Somali people and deprived them of their fundamental rights and freedoms for a period of 21 years? Or the warlords and their collaborators who have committed massacres and other atrocities during the past decade? These forces – remnants of the dictatorial era and the warlords and their collaborators – are united by one objective: to block the selection of qualified, competent and conscientious individuals to head the new government. The reasons are: 1) They are gripped by inordinate fear that they might be brought to trial before a court of law for the crimes they have committed and the resources they have plundered during their tenure of high governmental offices; and 2) they equally fear the impact from the visible achievements of such a government could exert on popular consciousness and perception in comparison with their incompetence and lack of patriotism. A widespread viewpoint, presented as a political maxim, maintains that “a bad government is better than no governmentâ€. This is obviously more of a glib utterance than a nugget of political wisdom. “A bad government†not only produces “no government†but inexorably leads to anarchy and all its attendant barbarities. In this context, one may rightly ask: why be satisfied with anything less than a good government? Now, a golden opportunity presents itself to the conference participants to rise above mundane and inglorious concern with personal gain by 1) showing due appreciation of the historic role they are called upon to play; and 2) by concentrating their thoughts and their constructive energies on how best to establish a government that could save the country from its mindless drift toward extinction. 3. One thing is quite plain. The country does not need any recycling of those who have used dictatorial and barbaric power to destroy the country and massacre its helpless population. If such a thing happens, we would easily relapse into bitter clan conflict and warfare more barbaric and destructive than the conflicts of the last decade. I would like to say a word to the Somali citizen whether at home or abroad. Your indifference to the fate and suffering of the helpless masses represents a direct support to the political wolves conspiring to reestablish dictatorial rule in Somalia. They know their interests and objectives and they are determined to realize them at the Djibouti conference. Can disorganized people defend themselves? The answer is obviously negative. I hope that the international community would show greater interest in the Somali case than they have done so far. We believe there are dangerous developments under way to repackage supporters and collaborators of warlords and dictatorial regime as born again democrats willing and able to scrupulously respect constitutional and democratic form of government. In particular, I wish to urge such Human Rights Organizations as Bay Centre for Conflict Prevention, Amnesty International and Africa Watch to stay alert to the political background of candidates for the highest offices of any proposed Somali Government.

In conjuction with all the above tips mentioned, i will add body language and eye contact. Always maintain eye contact during your interview. Look the person straight in the eye when responding to a question. Body language speeks alot as well, avoid being fidgety, and sit up straight, with good composure. One another note,there always hiring managers who have unconventional methods. One VP i encountered in a training session mentioned something that cracked me up. He would interview "entry level" people in groups, and would give them a tour of the facility he worked at. He would intentionally walk at a fast pace just to see who could keep up with him, and sure enough he said there was always 2 or 3 people who lagged behind dragging their feet, and that was an indication of laziness to him. That automatically eliminated them out of contention regardless of their resume or appearance. I personaly did not agree with him on that. Good luck

Thanks for the positve responses. Darman...lmao the terrorist mentality on somalinet has not yet influenced me Scorpion ..thanks for the compliment Aeryn ..Glad to know my application has an "approved" stamp on it and has been filed Curly , libaax and Cute...I appreciate the forewarning about the undercover moderator and the character with an alter ego Last but not least Ngonge...for a minute i was naive enough to believe your initiation ritual handed out to the newbies and was in the process of searching through the vaults for an intriguing story, till Curly enlightned me about your state of mind. But thanks for the tips. Anyway im going to sift through the forums and catch up. P.s Ngonge does your alter ego have a name he prefers to go by, or is he still in the shadows of Ngonge.

I am back from a 21/2 year hiatus away from the forums, chat servers, and all other forms of web based “social†activities. Since my return I have searched for Somali forums, and I grew quickly disheartened when I saw the negative and derogatory comments that seem to prevail in majority of them. After some aimless meandering on the net I stumbled across this site, and it did not take me long to realize the caliber of the nomads, and moderators in here was impressive, and uplifting. Positive forums like this, make the “Somali†net experience worthy of praise, and id like to congratulate the moderators and nomads on a job well done. With that said and done i noticed a thread that mentioned something about letting the somalinet refuges seek asylum status in SOL. Since I recently applied for status there out of ignorance, is it to late to jump bail, and seek asylum here? I hope the foreign policy mentioned in the thread below takes into consideration my forthcoming attitude in divulging my dual applications, and sincere intentions of withdrawing my application on somalinet. P.s. Can I post and respond to threads or am I considered “persona non grata†pending a verdict. http://www.somaliaonline.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=6;t=003242;p=