give me any topic and I'll make a good joke about it

no, I'm just funny....not like "this milk tastes funny"...more like "...I'll call the ambulance in a bit, this is too funny"

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accomanied by his sweetheart's younger sister , he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. Unfortunately, during the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves whereas the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note: "I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had benn wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you wear them for me on Friday night. All my love." "P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I said, "But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "But you don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid. When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night!" The clerk said, "Me too." One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too." Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up Friday.

28 days later is the creepiest movie I have seen in a LONG time...here, check it out www.28dayslaterthemovie.com

Truce? I didn't realize we were at war. we're having what I like to refer to as a " conflict of opinions" I would be a tastelss planet if we all agreed on everything.

Somewhere earlier in the post I said I read the book. I go to movies...and have wasted time. I'm now trying to move away from all that. Day in day out it's the say thing. I very ready to grow the beard and cut my Sean John jeans at the ankles. You may be a vegetarian but I like steak. it's all about point of view. I won't try to change your mind because you sound smart enough to make your choices. I, personally, have seen too much to buy into mainstream culture.

I'll have to put a second voice for 28 days...that was very well done.

Originally posted by Opinionated: ... but can't remember their alphabets. What is your POINT? it's entertaining..and MAKE BELIEF! Thats my point exactly, does it not DISTURB you? or as long ALL the kids can't remember anything important then it's just normal. As far as entertainment and fantasy go, it seem that is a luxury that you have...I don't. I'm a twenty-something Muslim guy living in North America...The REALITY of the war on my beliefs and the erosion of my culture keep me too busy to indulge in books that glorify things and practises that I have been raised to know are EVIL. But to each their own.

Originally posted by flying-still: That must be it....darn it!! I missed out on the romance....c'mon one more chance Maybe I should rethink my feminist views huh? Maybe all men aren't out to cut off my leg...hmmm I'll run with that train of thought and see where it leads me I see you shoot from the hip and sarcasm is the primary weapon. It kinda cute. But it also says a lot about your state of mind. Can't let anyone get too close before you throw up a large wall of witty comments. As far the feminist views, you are what you are and you rethink opinions on your own terms. Might be surprised if you meet a guy who makes you stronger by standing by you. you want to run with that train of thought, will you be trying to make it succeed or hoping it derails?

At certain times, opinionated, I become a Fundamentalist. I have read the book, thankfully I have the ability to differentiate between right and wrong ( I was going to say real and imaginary but the the existence of sixiir is not in doubt). But the intended audience of the book, I'm sorry to say, is very impressionable and I'm sure you're one of those people who think it's cute that a 3 yr old can recite spells from Harry Potter but can't read the shortest Sura in the Quran. But don't worry about me I'm too busy being backward and old school so I missed the priveldge of being fascinated by the whole experience.

Take the picture, go to the house, put it in front of him and ask "What is this?" You don't need to throw a tantrum. If he is playing for the other team he's gone. If he can't give a strong reply, he's gone. if he stutters, he's gone. As a matter of fact, he has to be 110% straight-up and to the point to stay. This sh!t is getting out of hand... This culture we all ran to escape civil war and allegedly came to get a better life and now our next generation seem to have forgotten what it means to be men....How many of you have seen Somali guys with braided hair and earings? To me thats where the Khaniis culture begins. Sorry to rant like this but I think enough Somali men were lost in the war. Then we lost more in the west to alcohol, drugs and crime....now we're losing men to other men?????? Seems like no one is taking the time to voice opposition to the problem. next time you see a Somali guy doing something even slightly out of line, take a few seconds and say something oh yeah, someone look-up the word "Indifference" because thats where we are right now. I'll pray for the sister with the problem. But first be sure. If you want answer, ask questions.

LOL....I gotta get a few camcorders before the kids....some of the cutest things go by unnoticed

You shouldn't be reading that crap....check out this link http://www.theinsider.org/mailing/article.asp?id=367

Flying, the suave value is very easy to miss when its not directed at you. But, make no mistake about it's existence. I'd probably have to prove it you and show you how smooth I really am by treating you to some pure unadulterated romance.....but in respect to your feminist manifesto that frowns on such activities, I may have to save the debonair for someone who won't think it's a trap

Lakkad: me and the girl have no beef. When you have a friend with a thorn in his foot you'll be happy when he takes that thorn out even though it didn't affect you directly. Legend of Zu: Be my guest, I hold no patent on those words. I hope they bring you wealth and prosperity Flying-Still: Bullseye??? me??? No way!!! I wouldn't do that. You might make me feel guilty and that I have to make it up to you some way or the other. 416 is "prefered". I know secluded, romantic spots all across the GTA. I'd be a tourist if I ventured outside those borders and that diminishes my Suave value. Gediid: It's a tricky situation. You have to say enough to later say "I told you so". without having your friend think "this guy's a loser, he just jealous of me". Thin line.

Being Somali and Being a Muslim technically should not conflict. Somali is where you were born and Islam is how you live.

How else are we supposed to make you feel like you owe us???

If you were so sure, you should have just walked up and said "Do I know you from somewhere?" Just to gauge the reaction of her man... And by your comments I see you're not one of those guys who walks around with his phone number on a card ready at all times to be slipped into a beautiful womans hand.

Well I guess history is always relevant and we can all learn from it. Personally I'm wiser and smarter (not just from my own experiences, but always from experience other people in general - movies excluded). One of the things I learned was that I am VERY culturally biased. From the holy sisters with the hijabs to the modern ones with corporate careers and to some small degree the misguided scantily dressed delinquents, you all have a special place in my heart. Even though you give us a hard time over simple issues (see "Flying-still" as an example) most us are willing to absorb a certain degree of abuse because to most of the Somali guys, there is no alternative to Beautiful Somali woman. So let me stop swelling your heads and tie this in with the original post, Don't sh!t where you eat. simple statement but very relevant. Not too much explanation needed on that. Know what you have and know what you want. There is always a threshold to tolerance. Flying-Still may have an image of me being a male chauvanistic pig but I only bother her because her I'm impressed by the strength and determination in her responses. This doesn't mean I'll be going easy on you P.S. I am not X...he's happily married and has turned into one of those friends who says " what are you waiting for? get married". I, on the other hand, am still very single (by choice) so any lady in the 416 areacode want to go catch a movie and some dessert is all good (no purchase necessary, must be over 23yrs old. cretain rules and regulations apply. skill testing question must be answered. Results may vary.)

Respect is not a $20 bill that one pulls out of a wallet. Its a general admiration and trust that you cannot quantify. You might as well come out and say "Women should demand love". It's not up to you. diffrent people have different standards, it might take very little for me to give you respect and much more effort on your part for the next guy to respect you. Bottom Line is Respect is a priviledge not a right. Thats why everyone doesn't get respected. Live right and be mindful of other peoples needs and you will get respected. If you do all you can and don't get the respect you deserve, by all means kick him to the curb...but if you stand up and say "I want respect"...yeah well, I want a beach-front villa in Malibu...you can get it, but you gotta put in the work.

I was kind enough to let her have the last word...now that I have spoken, I'm sure it'll be classified as another "snide" remark and she'll be quick to retort.

Start Talking loudly ...say stuff like Aabo what are you doing with that gun???? or open the door then close it and say Yo I told you not to bring that crazy pit-bull into my house...damn take it upstairs before it rips up my furniture then make some sound effects if whatever's upstairs is not human, go out side, unscrew the main gas line and burn the house down. ( just a suggestion)

LOOOOOL Some of these are HILARIOUS... You can sign me up for these classes Originally posted by Raxmah: 4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead 7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II 16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the 4 Limitations of Your Kitchenware 21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote -Good Idea but the remote can only serve one master, possesion is 9/10ths of the law 28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime -If you could get to the point and say what you had to say during commercials, you wouldn't need the whole half-time. 29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It - with Physics and good eye-hand coordination, I beg to differ. These were great...

whats bullsh!t is you glorifying the issue. what set of rules and laws do live by? or do you make up your own as you see fit. What I hear you saying and promoting is for Somali, Muslim girls to go out and do what ever they feel like doing, don't fight the urge, it's natural let your hormones do as they please. Basically throw out the window the only difference between humans and animals which is self control and knowing between right and wrong. Unless there's a serial rapist running around Minnesota targeting Somali girls the facts are simple: Pre-marital sex is the root cause of the problem. Abortion is a taking a bad situation and making it worse. Some of us may be wearing blinders and not see the collapse of society ( not just somali). But most of us see the moral bankrupcy happening around us. If you are a Muslim stick to the rules. They're not dependant on your geographical location. Don't stand here and give examples of when it's right to bend the rule. Islamic rules have been valid for over 1400 yrs. Follow it all or renounce it and go your own way. But do it alone