Originally posted by Akash: Horaa Loo Yidhi Dumarku Waa Caruur Raad Weyn LOL....I remeber hearing that from my grandmother. and I craked up in a psyc class when a renowned psychiatrist was quoted as saying women are caught somewhere between childhood and adulthood. I remeber that ever time I hear a grown woman say "oh my god that's sooo cute"

why don't we just parade all the men in a line up, shine a big interogation spot light in their faces. Have them bring a resume and prepare a 3 minute monologue before the question and answer section begins. NEXT: "Hi my name is Cabdi Ciiro and despite my grey hairs I'm actually 25. As you can see on my resume I'm a molecular biologist and I just purchased my third house. I like long walks on the beach and sharing poetry readings. it really doesn't matter what you like because I'm sure I can change to suit you. I'm just trying to find someone I can share my deep emotions with." NEXT: Faarax shows up shielding his eyes from the glare "war waamaxey doocilaha negista kuhayo" "yareey...haa, adiga, borofesorada...madhimantahay? iismadhihin midaan aa fiyow. sidii xoolo aa sideytan nin saf soo gelisay. Degeeyso, gabar walaasheey ahh aa tahay ee aan kula taliyo... hadii aad is gedeeysid, maxad garoonka latimid. Hadii aad wax gadaneeysidna natus karansiga aad wadatid, ma doolar baa mise waa baun?......." before he finishes his rant, 2 steriod-gulping security guards appear like cops at a dunkin donuts and snatch Faarax up like a taliban destined for camp xray.

Don't you guys remember Jean-Bedel Bokassa. The emperor of the Central African Republic. This is the man who invited all the international ambassodors and emisaries to attend his corronation. Little did they know the meat they were feasting on was human flesh of inmates that were taken from the national prison and "prepared" for the coronation festivities. (he actually admitted that when he was imprisoned). This man also had one of his ministers killed and served up to the rest of the cabinet ( they had no idea until after the dinner).

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white bunny or a thoft & fuwwy bwack bunny or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown bunny over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally givths a thit."

Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender, Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender Two lovely hips to increase his desire, And rounded and firm to bring out the fire. Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud, Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud. Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you, And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you. Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder, And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder. 'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing. Then God added a mouth, and ruined the whole damn thing.

An Irishman has been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the four blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. ''So, you've been out drinking again!!'' ''What makes you say that?'' he asks, as he puts on an innocent face. ''The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.''

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Cowboys fan," the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet."

Caramel, I think jawaabta ilaa iyo hada laso alifaayo, sheekooyin culus aa kudaba xiran. Or maybe you agree 100%

LOL...donny should have added a "you know?" at the end of that speech.....

oh, I see. So it's not just any job you can land after finishing school. I was always under the impression that it would take about 5 to 10 yrs of hard work and dedication you can truly be settled into a career. my math may be off but, if I add that to the 4-8 years of school and the average age of 20, some of you may be looking to get married at age 35-40. is this accurate?

What's your definition of a "CAREER"? (not a trick question)

>>Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words >>back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a >>few people who did.... >> >>I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked >>loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned >>around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a >>word... he knew better. >>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >>I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was >>unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several >>minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works >>at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at >>him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." >>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >>My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety >>of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind >>the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking >>at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, >>and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never >>let me forget. >>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >>While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release >>some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her >>after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told >>her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. >> >>To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as >>threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I >>saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" >> >>The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the >>tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity >>and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard >>when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. >>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >>Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My >>three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on >>him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in >>between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying >>my taco, I smelled something funny, so, of course, I checked my >>seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny >>had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, >>and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an >>accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are >>you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that >>he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. >>Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" >> >>This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his >>cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly >>choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and >>sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best >>laugh they'd ever had! >>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ >>This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very >>embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think >>before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get >>any....a true story... >> >>We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have >>snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's >>that 8 inches you promised me last night?" >>Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were >>laughing so hard! >>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Snow man? skating? skiing? I assume you're like 13 or 14yrs old

try a mathematical approach: *Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males. Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband. Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first. In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life. Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second. Polygamy solves the problem of adultery among men, who by nature are polygamous, or are not happy with their wives, It prevents the prevalence of AIDS and other similar diseases arising from illicit sexual relations among people of loose morals. It minimizes divorce as men are given the option to marry other women of their choice without divorcing their present wives. This subsequently, prevents the occurrence of juvenile delinquencies among children of broken families. Furthermore, polygamy gives the opportunity for more unmarried women to be married, considering the fact that women exceed men in number. This in turn eliminates fornication and prostitution, thus greatly reducing the number of children born out of wedlock. Unfortunately, children born out of wedlock are being ostracized in the same way as their mothers are being look down by the society. In polygamy, children are recognized as legal offspring of their fathers just as their mothers are respected as legally married women. There are several other reasons, why Islaam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.

Love is a chemical reaction in the brain triggered by the words, actions and mere presence of the "chosen" member of the opposite sex. Romance is the direct side effect of that reaction. That chemical reaction has toppled seemingly invincible rulers; Cleopatra Queen of ancient Egypt, Paris Prince of Troy, etc At the same time that chemical reaction has created some of the most beautiful lasting wonders of the world; Nebuchadnezzar's Hanging gardens of Babylon, The Mogal's Taj Mahal, etc. I know most of the nomads here have the potential to achieve all of that and more. Maybe we're all just waiting to find the right inspiration. So may I suggest we stop worrying about what we get and what we don't and worry about what we can offer?

....and you say I'm not romantic.

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar slowly getting drunk. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey,why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?” The farmer says, “Some things you just can’texplain.” “So what happened that is so horrible?” the man asked. The farmer then decides to try an answer, “Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.” “That’s not so bad,what’s the big deal?” The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.” “So what happened?” the man asked again. The farmer relenting, continued, “I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over.” “Again?” The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.” “So, what did you do then?” the man asked, intrigued. “I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the ****** cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.” “Wow, you must have been pretty upset!” but that’s no reason to just sit here getting all depressed.” The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.” “So then what else did you do?” the man asked again. “Well I didn’t have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That’s when my pants fell down and my wife walked in…”

A woman is driving her car when she is pulled over by a a cop. He says to her: "Ma'am, may i see your licence please? you were speeding". The woman answers: "Oh no, officer, I don't have a licence, they took it after the 4th time i was caught driving drunk.". The officer replies: "That is serious. Give me the car's registration forms, please". The woman answers: "Oh, this is not my car. I stole it from my boss after i killed him. His body is in the trunk, by the way". The cop is amazed and immidietly calls for backup while slowly moving away from the car, his hand on his gun. When backup comes, the chief of the police approaches the woman with his gun pointed at her and orders her to get out of the vehicle. The woman walks out, as ordered. Then the cheif says: "Ma'am, the officer said you reported a dead body in your trunk. please open it". The woman acts amazed and when she opens the trunk, there is nothing there. The surprised cheif says: "Can i also see your driving-licence?". The woman opens her wallet and hands her licence to him. The chief says: "Well, i'm soory ma'am, i don't know what to say. The officer over there told me you had a dead body in your trunk and that you didn't have a licence". The woman smiles and says: "bet you that ******* also told you i was speeding, didn't he?"...

The head of the monastery wanted to check how strong his priests are in resisting temptetion. He called 3 of them to his room, and ordered them to put a small bell on their penis. After that, he went to the first guy, and showed him a picture of a gorgeous naked girl. "Gling Gling", went the bell, and the head of the monastary was furious: "you call yourself a monk? you are as weak as a baby!". He went then to the second guy, and showed him a cover of a dirty porn movie. "Gling Gling", went the bell. "you are a disgrace! get out of my sight!". Almost in complete dispair, he went to the third guy and showed him a cover of a porn-magazine. There was silent. "Way to go, son, you are the only man here worth to be call a monk", the head of the monastery said, while putting his hand on his shoulder. "Gling Gling", went the bell.

Flying, midiyo waweyn aa soofeysaneysaa (check spelling on that - I could hardly say it). So I'll borrow some lyrics from Bob Marley - -Oh, please don't you rock my boat (don't rock my boat) -'Cause I don't want my boat to be rockin' (don't rock my boat)

Tread lightly???? Me???? you're the one making Freudian slips

Next Flying will pour laundry detergent in his eyes and make him drink pine sol Who knew Home Sweet Home was such a lethal place?

Ahhh...even when you're rebelling, you use the tools of your trade...LOL

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of course." Jacob: "Medicine for memory?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety." Jacob: "What about vitamins and sleeping pills?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "Perfect! We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts."

Flying, I could be wrong, but I think you have some anger resolution issues. I heard there's this "clinic" where women "vent" physically on men...the men are dressed is somethick padded outfit with red targets on the throat and the family jewels...then women "express" themselves with punches and kicks....Sounds to me like you need to sign up for a few dozen sessions