Well considering a significant percentage of Nomad data is "buug" to begin with, I'm not too worried about what they'll find on me. I fail a polygraph everytime Them: "is your name Ali Ahmed?" Me: "Yes" Machine:"Waa beentiis" if they only knew intaqofood oo fara iga qaadey. They say if you eat moos your fingerprints change.

Gas in car to go to groomers--$4.50 Cat car carrier--$32.99 Grooming fee--$80.00 Getting the look from one seriously pissed off cat--Priceless!

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term: "Is Hell exothermic [gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities. 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic. The student got the only A.

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," is his reply. The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband. The mother asks the daughter: "what are you doing naked?" The daughter responds:"This is the dress of love." When the mother returns home, She strips naked and waits for her husband. When her husband arrives, he asks her: "what are you doing naked, woman?" She responds: "This is the dress of love." And he said to her: "Well, go iron it."

At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up: "At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb." The crowd cheered. The second speaker from America stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well." The crowd cheered. The third speaker from Ireland stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

HIM: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN and account 4. Take cash, card and receipt 5. Drive away HER: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Back up and pull forward to get closer 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine 6. Hunt for card in purse 7. Insert card 8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it. 9. Enter PIN 10. Study instructions. 11. Hit "cancel" 12. Re-enter correct PIN 13. Check balance 14. Look for envelope 15. Look in purse for pen 16. Make out deposit slip 17. Endorse checks 18. Make deposit 19. Study instructions 20. Make cash withdrawal 21. Get in car 22. Check makeup 23. Look for keys 24. Start car 25. Check makeup 26. Start pulling away 27. Stop 28. Back up to machine 29. Get out of car 30. Take card and receipt 31. Get back in car 32. Put card in wallet 33. Put receipt in checkbook 34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook 35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook 36. Check makeup 37. Put car in reverse 38. Put car in drive 39. Drive away from machine 40. Drive 3 miles 41. Release parking brake

10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running. 8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex. 7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. 6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work. 5. Mumbled, "Oh, uh-pleeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net" 4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments. 3. Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons 2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President." 1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, jerk.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Include Your Children when Baking Cookies Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

You may not be as paranoid as you think Sue. The "all seeing eye" is (in my opinion) something to do with the coming of al-Masih ad-Dajjal. Seems that the control system is already in place. Let contribute to your paranoia you might find this site interesting http://etori.tripod.com/dajjalsystem/home.htm then there's also the Alex Jones site www.prisonplanet.com Enjoy.

Firstly, I can't deny the existence of "terrorists" because every group of people has some bad elements. However, on the same token, I can't say I am personally 100% sure of the existance of an organization whose only purpose in life is to instill fear and disrupt social order. Just what I hear on the news and we know how reliable they are. I'm not sure how you're suggesting we weed out this terrible evil. How about we go to the mosque and start watching everybody see who thay are what they do. tap some phones...wait that guy looks fishy someone call homeland security. You can't police your faith and the faith of those just like you. You shouldn't let suspicion take a hold of you like that. Maybe as I asked in the previous post, you have a clearer image of what going on and you know who the bad guys are. If you do, do something about it. If you don't keep your nose out of other peoples lives. Its hard enough trying to get by without having our own sisters suspecting us.

Originally posted by Opinionated: What is worse than them is the actual terrorists living amongst us, claiming to be practicing our religion and are continuously giving us a bad name! Now you sound just like "Them". unless suicide bombers are running rampant in your city, who is it thats giving you a bad name? is it the ones growing their beards with the flood-pants and the cimaamad? PLEASE give me ONE example of WHO is giving YOU a bad name. You can't separate yourself unless you make a choice to. We are all facing this. STOP POINTING FINGERS.

I couldn't watch it. I got some poorly pirated bootleg copy. Anybody know where in Toronto I can get a good copy?

I hope all of you had a safe and fun New Year. I have beef with a few groups of individuals. I’m not trying to start any arguments, just want to share some opinions. Positive and negative feedback is welcome. 1) As I was out and about on the New Year evening of celebration, I observed a few things that ticked me off at first but ended up being a very amusing sociology experiment. My hosts (that’s the everyday white Canadians, since it has become obvious that my Canadianism will forever be limited my passport and drivers license), given the chance to be “free” and commemorate the incoming New Year, they showed their true colors and all got drunk and conducted themselves in behavior generally reserved for livestock. Or maybe I missed the point of screaming “whooo hooo” and women exposing themselves at passing vehicles. So when given the chance to be their true selves the alleged civilized became xoolo. I hope in the New Year they don’t expect me to take them seriously because most of them just used up whatever credit they had accumulated with me over the past year. 2) I think most of our youth have absolutely lost their minds and I blame the older youth (myself included) for not giving a damn and being good role models. All the ciyaal have become Ganstas. Well I guess it’s only natural if the talk the talk they gotta walk the walk. So get blitzed, get crunck, beat down that n*gg* cause he ain’t reppin’ your hood or he can’t throw down freestyle. I mean seriously, of all the subcultures in the world these “young ‘uns” pick the one that dehumanizes them. Thugs and h*es. And I have yet to see anyone turn that into real money. The next fifty-cent might be called “kumi iyo tano”. The non-thinking masses, victims of capitalism. They might think they’re expressing their individuality but looks to me like they’re obediently doing as they are told. Ilbaxnimo via TV and magazines. 3) Our cultural treasure, the young beautiful women who have come so far and achieved so much, why is it that the more advanced you get the more you try to move away from your roots? I must admit this is a small and rare group, but you all either know them, have seen them or are them. Let’s call them the Starbucks angels. You have to be a slick brotha to work your way into their conversation until you identify yourself as Xasan originally from cel buur and then your ship begins to sink. At this point, speaking Af Somali is equivalent to firing two torpedoes at that sinking ship. You know who you are with the Smirnoff Ice and you actually duck when you see farax coming your way. I stopped stereotyping the all of our designer –clad princesses when I encountered someone that proved me wrong. But they’re still out there. In conclusion, it’s another year gone and anther milestone. Once again we’ll continue making less than brilliant choices and some exceptional new discoveries. There are a lot of things that we have no control over but two things we do is our minds and bodies. Strong Mind and Healthy Body is a direct result of your effort, the ultimate self-test and the only things that will ever truly identify you as and individual. Its something we can all work on without anyone’s permission or approval. So keep doing what you do.

The Farenheit/Celcius conversion messes up alot of Americans. When they look at the weather map and all the american cities are in Farenheit then they see all the Canadian cities in Celcuis. Mid August and they think it's freezing in Canada. "Hat Damn, it's 35 in Taranta, them canadians must freezin thar nuts off"

LOL @ "naag calool xanuun kugu riday sidee the one unoqonkartaa"

“Every bid’ah (innovation) is a going astray and every going astray will end in Hell.”

Not Malcolm but good quote: “Make the most of your life before your death.” Make the most of “your health before your sickness.” Make the most of “your free time before you become busy.” Make the most of “your wealth before you become poor.” Make the most of “your youth before you become old.”

Iraqi people had free health care, education and lived moderately good lifes before the UN embargos and the 1st gulf war. Now they're refugees in their own country begging for the necessities of life from a foriegn invader. Saddam hasn't done anything that Rossevelt and Churchill didn't do (before you bring up killing your own people....consider Vietnam, The Falkland islands and countless other conflicts where these "world leaders" sent their troops in to be massacred for ulterior motives) - No weapons of mass destruction - No association to ANY terrorist activity Just a guy who's country got invaded under false pretenses, His sons got murdered and his people have been hand-delivered to a stars & stripes wearing "iraqi" government (a.k.a bunch of theiving criminals who avoided imprisonment in several arab countries by running off to the west to give expert analysis of brutal dictatorships in the middle east) Death penalty????? I think NOT what he needs is JUSTICE.

Darman, I don't think they ever will. It's a shame, because I've seen some good cops but most of them especially the young ones have some serious beef with immigrants.... I personally think some of these cops suffering from culture-shock. So many years of thinking immigrants are inferior and now that they see them up close they realize we're just as capable if not better and the only way they strike back to protect they "imagined" superiority is to hold us down any chance they get. - Never get the job unless someone hooks you up ( or theres no one else) - Mess up once with the cops and no warnings you get a record first time out. - You know all those little laws that no one ever uses, well there still on the books for you. ( I got a ticket for Idling after I just saw him ask a white guy(who was there before me) to move....you belive that?...and then he had the nerve to try and lecture me about idling and I said to him "Hey man, the ticket or the lecture, you can't give both"). It seems we're not welcome here, but I have no plans to go else where anytime soon so I can either become a quite "house-broken" pet or stand for myself.

Did you guys see this on the news? A Somali immigrant charged with assaulting a Toronto cop hopes a grainy videotape that appears to show an officer shoving and punching him will prove his innocence. Immigrant hopes video will clear him of assault Updated Fri. Dec. 12 2003 6:27 AM ET CTV.ca News Staff A Somali immigrant charged with assaulting a Toronto cop hopes a grainy videotape that appears to show an officer shoving and punching him will prove his innocence. Jama Said Jama, a 21-year-old landed immigrant from Somalia, maintains he was trying to break up a late-night fight in Toronto last August when police arrived on the scene. "One officer said 'come here' when he got out of the car," Jama said. "So I stopped, and ... he came to me and he grabbed me by my throat and then he punched me," Jama said. "Then the same officer who punched me, grabbed me, and he smashed me into the pavement, and then he started stamping on my head, which caused me to lose basically my tooth." The video, which was shot by a bystander, shows Jama being punched and ends with him running off camera. The officers, unaware the tape existed until Wednesday, filed disclosure documents to the court that give a much different version of events. "I have the male (Jama) by the arm, bringing him to the side of the vehicle. Male strikes out with both arms hitting me," read the notes of the officer that Jama accuses of punching him. The notes say Jama, who has no criminal record, suffered his injuries during a fight earlier that night. They have him apologizing for pushing the officer. The video, taken without the knowledge of either Jama or the officer, shows Jama with no apparent facial injuries before his encounter with police. Jama has been charged with assaulting a police officer. If he's convicted, he could be refused citizenship and deported. But he's hoping the video will end the case quickly. Jama's lawyer said the tape is a crucial piece of evidence. "Without the video, I think you can ask any criminal lawyer, it'd be very difficult to defend. He might win. But the chances are that three police officers would be believed over one immigrant from Somalia," Andrew Vaughan said. Police Chief Julian Fantino, already under fire over cameras in cruisers and allegations of racial profiling by his officers, won't comment because the matter is before the courts. "We're going to get to the bottom of it," he said after reviewing the taped evidence. Jama is considering suing the officers, but he first must be cleared of criminal charges. here's the news clip: http://www.pulse24.com/News/Top_Story/20031213-005/Video-5-2.asx

I could be wrong but money made from an all night party is Xaraan.

TRY THE SAME THING WITH weapons of mass destruction and French military victories

And still cannot get an answer..... I'll take your sarcasm as a sign that no credible retort is forthcoming.... ...and with that I retire to my cave.