Rudy is right. Its not like going to a car dealership and picking the options to make your perfect car. This is a whole other human being with their own thought processes and opinions and emotional luggage and good/bad past experiences. the best anyone can hope for is an open mind, patience and flexibility. Then you have the rest of your lives to work out the ever-changing balance that makes a relationship work. It's been said "A married couple are neither friends nor enemies". Or as semi-wise old guy put it: Husband and wife are like 2 opposing political parties trying to run a country.

Originally posted by GlassEyeGirl: Sex and physical contact with their husbands is not a priority and takes a back burner. In my opinion, this is one of the main reasons they cheat. A friend of mine ones told me, ‘Men don’t really care about the women they are cheating with or even the act of cheating. It’s like grabbing a hot dog on your way to a nice warm dinner’. GEG, so based on that line of thinking, men will be men, right? So its worse when a woman cheats, because she would be cheating 'from the heart'...more about emotions than just physical physical act. Or as in your analogy: Passing up on the hamburger at home for a Fillet Mignon somewhere else. is that right?

Personally I don't mind her being Liberal or conservative as long as her Domestic engineering skills are stellar. .

Lily, what "cringe worthy expectations" are you referring to?

Ibti, I'm with Faheema on this...looks like he's asking for these requirements....why else would it be posted in the Women's section. Besides, I don't think a single guy can be an authority to tell women what they need in a man. So what does the 'new' Somali man require in a marriage?

Marx, a little clarification please... Are these requirements expected OF the new Somali men? or the requirements the new Somali men expect of their prospective wives? Even though the requirements themselves are clear, the party to present these requirements is not. (just a question)

We're moving away from the Hijab conversation. How about we put a new twist on the issue? We Somali are considered very entrenched in our Islamic roots. However there seems to be a separation when it comes to certain 'modern' events. When was the last time a bride wore a hijab on her wedding day? is there some kind of exception clause to weddings? Even with the whole tux, white gown, cake feeding, first slow dance weddings, is it wrong to have the bride wear a Hijab?

Its the illusion of anger. the real thing has too many negative side effects associated with it. So I steer clear of it. Plus I do enjoy some of the reactions I get.

Ibti, I'm old school African...sounding angry all time gets results. I've tried various other strategies, but I find a "low growl" is always handy. besides, reading some of your recent replies, and comparing them with older posts show that your anger level is pretty elevated too. Or maybe I'm just imagining that.

Originally posted by Abu_Diaby- Al Zeylaci: how comes manz only see underdog when marks makes a controversial topic. lol. probably because "manz" doesn't look at the other topics I comment on. If you're digging to find sh!t, chances are you'll find some.

Originally posted by -MARX-: ...individuals who presume they have a divine right to make judgements on people! Originally posted by -MARX-: 1) This is a worrying phenomenon and should be offset as soon as possible with preventative measures! 2)Personally I am turned off those with Penguin Hijabs!!, but then then again these tend to be recently arrived immigrants or middle aged women!! Is it so hard to admit you were wrong? you've been making judgments on everyone as far back as we can recall (what was that famous word??? oh yeah CHAVS!) You can tell us what you prefer and what you don't, but you don't have a right to change anything...especially women's hijabs. I suggest you stop digging yourself into a hole and bow out of this conversation.

Homework Student's work: (Here's the reply the teacher received the following day) Dear Mrs. James, I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in. Sincerely, Mrs. Jones

Malika, You think the black outfit doesn't draw attention. However you're all missing the main point, even if attention is drawn, what is it that you'll see except for a modestly dressed woman. I thinks there's enough guidelines without getting fanatical about the issue. MODESTY COMES ALL SHAPES AND COLOURS

Originally posted by Afr0 GirL: alaabtan aan shalay qof dhahayo maqlay qosol aniga lol...Macaanow murqo kuusow maku majuujin karaa maku majuujin karaa Kulaha...Shukumaan qoyan miya??? taas ayadaa majuujin ubaahan aan umaleena.

Alternate solutions for Men and for Women .

1)Cheating is wrong. Agreed! 2)The Cheater is at fault. Agreed! I feel the main questions here are 1) What position are you in? 2) can you live with the consequences of your (not the cheaters) actions? If you're in a position of weakness and rely on your spouse financially, emotionally and psychologically, it would be in your best interest to take the hit, shut your mouth, forgive and convince yourself it was probably your fault. But, you'll never trust her/him again and you'll probably have to figure out how to live with the doubt and suspicion. If you're in a position of power and you're independent, confident and capable, you'd probably be better off kicking the cheater to the curb and starting fresh on a new canvas. Hope you have faith to trust again. Either way, you're screwed! So all you people talking about I'd do this & I'd do that. What you should be saying is I hope I never find myself in that situation, but if I do...I hope I have the strenght and focus to do this or that

Originally posted by Tuujiyee: I think is really about time that young somalis to understand the importants of holding on to your culture and language.. Language is the most important thing I think other than Islam but holding on to your language will help you to hold on to your back ground and who you really are...Just like how we hold on to our faith to make us a better muslims.. Wareer Badanaa!!! War Tuunji! Ma nooshahay? The "say Walaahi" crew is good. intaan ciyaal arkaaye ayagaa uroon. Gabdhihi Somaaliyeed gacan aan utaagay. Waa wada jaamici xijaaban campus walbo oo Ontario. Dhibaatadu waxay kataagantahay wiilashi. Parents were too busy trying to keep a leash on daughters, wiilashi beertay galeen. Especially them little british gangsters. Afsomali, iyo af ingiriis labadaba D minus ee kuheleen. Check out this blog Somali gang war? Read the comments below the blog.

Wonder if he's gonna Throw Some D's On Dat B!tch!!

Originally posted by Kool_Kat: It is not hadaadan i rabin kilida miiska saar, wax bey ahaan leheed hadii waxkale lagu kala tagi lahaa, laakiin isagoo uu qabo bey nin laseexatay...If for not any other reason, anbo soo celi waa dhihi lahaa just to see without it bal hadeey wax laseexato iyo inkale... So you think if she said to him that he doesn't give her what she needs and she wants to part ways and look for contentment elsewhere, he wouldn't want the organ back? I agree she wronged him by what she did, but he's embarrassing himself with this. dead or alive she doesn't want him, whats he still hanging around for? If this works out for him do you know how many angry little men will be trying to get money or silicone breasts back from ex wives and ex girlfriends? *Ring* "Hello, Krystaal? it's George, remember me?... yeah...remember the implants I paid for before you ran off with the cop who kept giving me tickets everyday? ...uh huh...yeah well, I spoke with my lawyer and you have to pay me $28,432.12 or give me back the rack."

Nin dhan oo ditoor aah, woxoo lasoo taaganyahay "kilideedi isii"...set dhahab oo dubaay lagakeene miyaa??? hadaadan i rabin kilada miiska saar. If I was one of his patients I'd be looking for a new doctor.

8 years later?

jacka$$! Goes to show just because someone is educated doesn't mean he's at all intelligent or smart. This is my last resort," Batista said. "I didn't want to be in the public eye." Kulaha, mean while the 'respected' doctor is standing in front of the camera's saying " I want the kidney I gave you 8 years ago. What a Loser!

Listen LG, How long has your man been back? Have you seen me respond to any of the posts he made prior to him using my name and labeling me an "enemy"?

LG, Haye Mouthpiece. Life is good, I can't complain. marc marki lajuqjuqeeyo adiga maxaa ubooda?

NG, Let me point out a mistake your Mrs. made in her approach. She didn't read your situation correctly. If she would have realized that you were not really into the whole Peruvian Astronaut documentary, she should have backed off and come back when Masterpiece Theatre (or whatever else you're into) was on. That way she could blackmail you more effectively into approving hooyo's temporary visit. (side note: are there mineral hotsprings in or around your house that would magically cure hooyo?) She messed up and found you bored and ready to banter...which turned a 'shock and awe' operation into some long, drawn out, back and forth struggle...