^axadkad gursanasid miyuu family aheen?? if u dnt have siblings or mom let him baby sit half of the day and you do the other half. Sounds possible??.. and I am glad you understand where I am coming from. It is good to know sista we are on the same page....some Somali moms I know don't even work yet drag their 2 years old kids to daycare centers....hada it became more of a habit than necessity. salaam

Allah nuune muxu 30 jir u dhigtay...?? looool odayaal 40 jaraya oo naago 30 jir ah magayana ma ii danbeesay thats all you folks gonna get...so just rechoice to it. (As chocolate pointed out 30 years old ladies nowadays look nothing like their age so def something u men in ur mid 30s and early 40s should be happy about)... Unless of course you guys want to get 18 years old wives from back home..wa sheeko kale lol. (I suggest Zack to be your personal adviser on those matters he seems to be expert on it. Zack bro, I think I just found you prospective clients..make sure you give me some of the commission loool) salaam

^Upset lool why would I be upset??? I am simply pointing out that you are being selfish to give advices you yourself would not undertake in million years...(tan kale we all know cida somalia xas u doonatay odey 30 dhaafay ama afartan jaraya oo meel kale wax ka wayey. He clearly told us he is 23 plenty of time to find someone suitable he is not desperate to go back home ). Anyways, somali waxay dhahada af jooga loma adeego marka this dude can speak up for himself wa ka baxa shekadan looool... Ismalura waligay ma maqal caqli lix saac..waxa moday lix sac as in six cows..the latter made sense 2 me. But, now thanks to NC waan fahmay in ay uga jeeday qof dhaandhaan ah... Mida kale hadalaha qaar waxaan is dhahaa ma afkaageey kala soo baxaday Nina. I tell my friends and sisters (who by the way all want 12 or more kids) intaad 6 dhahshaan ilmaha agoonta ku cawiya inta kalana. I told that to a religious Farah once and he couldn't believe his ears. Kuwaasna ilaahey baa irsaqadooda kafaala qaday kuweyga sidoo kale laguye. Of course ilaaahey baa wax irsaaqa but let us be practical. Ilmaha agoonta oo Somaliya jooga you are one of God's ways of their irsaaqad ee stop being selfish baan ku idhi. I can just imagine the shiekh choking on his tea "Subahanalah sister Ismalura didnt expect this from u" salaam

War illeen tanoo kale, Ina adeer Aaliyah, Waligaa maadan maqlin miyaa "Al-Caashaq ya'tii bacda nikaax"? so does everything else. Ninkuu hadduu mid yaroo quruxley oo 18 jir ah oo yara rafaadsan waddankii ka keeno maxaad ugu diidi. The brother already told us that he had tried multiple ways to get hooked with a Somali chick in his local town but failed to do that terribly for different reasons. The girl in Somalia is having hard time living the life in Ceelasha Biyaha near Af-Goye and would appreciate some changes. This would end up a win win situation. Both will never forget the lives they were in before marriage and will be very grateful that they are married and are happy. I say go for it, the chances of them getting divorced are very slim. How many times do I have to repeat nasixa aad adu sameen qofkale ha siinin...adba gabadha rafaadsan maxaad ugu naxariisan waydey..plenty of them in O-gadeniia? yaab... bad lugu dirsana waad so dhex gashay bal eeg gabadhihi oo dhan kugu kacsan..marka ka bax shekedan lol... and you clearly missed the title of the thread.. Question for the ladies Unless you are a lady you shouldnt share ur thoughts loooool... salaam

It is nice to stay with your baby lakiin how do you go back to work after three years when you will probably have another one? If you have good job at least 6 months paid work waa lagu siin kadiba you can work part time and put your kid in a day care for 5 hours. You have the other 19 hours to bond habeen iyo maalinba lakiin trust me there is no substitute for having your own money and some independence. If you save some good money that belongs to you at some point you can resign to raise your kids and go back to work when your kids grow up. It s a tough life but what can a girl do? you gonna put a baby in a daycare?? aniga personally shaqada waxaan uga tagi laha out of worrying...I simply can not trust a baby in a day care. I know ppl do maybe I think too much into things. But, that is me...so i guess for everyone something works. And you can always have two kids take few years off go back to work and have another two later in life...so that is four kids..inta ka badan xagee geeni...you need to spend some quality time with your kids and invest in them. Four is more than enough. Some might disagree and say religiously is incorrect. But, what is religiously acceptable? 10 kids and sending them to daycare where gaalo are gonna raise them for you? and even it is a muslim day care center it is still a strangers dealing with your babies. Do you know how frustrated new mothers become when they have to put up with babies? I mean they love them but still htey get frustrated with all the work bal aduu imagine a stranger with a baby naxaris miyuu u falaya?..wax ilmaha uga fiican hoyadi ma jiro especially when it is a baby. So I stick with the idea of being with your baby the first few years.... Also, you can always have your sisters/mother help out.....it is better than day care iyo a stranger....I know I will assign my sisters different evenings (anba inta ka badan so taray it is called pay back time loool or a better word would be pay forward time lmao).. salaam

Juxa cadiga shegasid muxu yahay ma maqal geel badan la iga bixiyay ayeyeo igu tidhi loool...quraanka yaa diidaya..when he pays up he can include copy of a quran I would love that very muchhhh...it will bless the money Ismalura bariga kama hadlayo hada ka hadlaya... Ms Moon you are welc. salaam

^caqliga lix saac maxa la dhaha? do u mean lix sac lool? As for ur discussions. It is good that a mother spends with her child the first three years of his/her life at least. I don't think you should trust someone else with a vulnerable baby..just my thoughts..not to mention you are bonding with teh child so at least give ur child three yrs..then maybe you can go back to work. As for the guy providing that is nice thing but usually at the beginning its gonna be hey i can provide stay home blah blah but at the end hes gonna get the whole ego of oh am the man of the house I provide for you...at the end of the day everyone wants to have control over their lives. I am sure that is where many woman feel secure working and taking care of themselves. And, nothing is wrong with that.Not to mention life is expensive nowadays two incomes will make life a whole lot easier and make the couple financially stable.... Aaliyah, I don't understand why you keep using the analogy of "Me VS the Dude in question" LOL. My situation was different than his situation. The advice I am giving him is based on the guy's situation iyo meesha uu xaalkiisu marayo siduu noo sheegay. Sidaas weeye inaaar. Why shouldn't I compare you to him...I mean here you are giving advices you yourself would not do..it just sounds so unfair to me. Not to mention hw is his situation any different. He is young man, educated, successful and he is just looking for a good sister. That does not mean you should tell him hey get one from Somalia? that is not sound advice. He lives in the uk with the right connections he can find a good sister who has a lot in common with him.And, there is nothing wrong with the girls back home but he doesnt need to marry one just because he needs a wife...he deserves more and the sisters back home deserve more than a guy who just needed a wife and who will half the time be in another country.... salaam

^ 250? 250 pounds?? lol...let me convert that using the online converter. I got 405 canadian dollars..walahi dheh??? intaas kaliya ma ninkaaga waydiini..maadba ka qaleesid. That is better Kaftan aside, congratulation once again and do what feels right...it is your life after all. salaam

I wonder why mr Somalia aka mr puntland cares who the SSC leaders meet with??? time to learn to mind your business... and I am still getting over what you wrote that up there....The admins better ban you for using such ill language. Unless of course their political ideology aligns with yours wouldnt know abt that??? but even then such language should not be tolerated... And even if they dont ban you..somalidu waxay ku maahmaahda af caytamay ninkisa ku yaala..cidna waxba kama jarasid. Adiga uun ba is qiima tiray wajigaaga runta ahna mesha so dhigay... salaam

Ismalura I know a lady who was married for many years but then got divorced. And, now both her and her ex husband are married to other ppl and both have kids. So as u said ilaahay ba deeq baxsha yaga calaf uun bay isku laheen in ay caruur dhalaan.. salaam

I always thought it was pretty large amount of money. Till I watched meher video and the guy gave around 3k...I was whattt? looool... I honestly dont think there is strict money that you need to ask. Whatever you guys negotiate on..so it is flexible depends on his income. So let me ask kaad gursanasid how much he makes and based on that Ill decide for you? salaam

^awwww that is heart breaking to hear. But, I am sure you turned out just fine. It was his loss...inshallah khyr. salam

^I guess everyone is entitled for their own opinions.. Aniga I believe in everything...I dont even believe in one wedding..away islamaha xaflada lo dhigayo ay ku buraanburi lahayeeen..away arooski caadiga aha..iyo meherkii..away gurigi iyo furniturekii..aaway honeymoonki ..away gadhigi..waxba ma reeban..I want everything and all. And, yes he has to provide all hadii kale muxu faaido leeyahayn looool...But, inshallah with that been said I dont mind in helping out laakin I will try my best to marry a doctor or a lawyer so i dont have to loools... salaam

lool Ismalura that was an american psychologist Edward Tolman but he is right to some degree. And, I am glad we agreed...and no i did not wake up at 6 rather 7:30 and it was my sister who woke me up with soo much effort she was this close to pour a water on my face as she didnt want me to be late from my class not that she did but she was like threatening me anyways yeah I should minimize my posts and manage my time better I slept so late...all thanks to you... Nina nc Thanks for the duca xabiibti. Adna sido kale baan ku rajaynaya. Ciid wacan oo wanaagsan tan teedana alle ha nugu simo cafimaad farxad bashbash ,cimri dheer iyo cibaado suuban insha'Allah.. Can't believe 2011 is around the corner. I definitely need to realize many of my new year resolutions that were never implemented ...lool salaam p.s. kalmada fowdo aniga waxan u aqaan rabsho yacni chaos..saas baan filaya..Unless u are talking about something else lol..wouldnt know!!!

Ibti like Chocolate said I did not want to promote the mix wedding ideology (that is its definitely better to have only girls party yacni if you cant control the party and you know it could go out of control and a lot of unsilamic things can happen,,,) and thanks im doing good hope for u the same if not better. But, rather my point was that it is a good thing if you can have good mixed wedding just like pakistanis and indians do. You dont have to make it seem like a club ( most somali mixed weddings tend to be club like)... I remember attending a somali mixed wedding buuq iyo qaxar...and the next room there was a pakistani wedding hadaan qaylo maqalnay. I am sure they were having the same fun as Somalis but rather in a polite fashion. Yacni they understand the meaning of a wedding. Wedding is one time thing and you want it to be nice and professional not meel ciyaalsuuq maanto dhan dance floor sida ugu qaabdaran uu dance gareenaya...(tan kale the ppl who are getting married I wonder sometimes how can they even do that to their own family yacni awoowgay oo mesha fadhiya ama ayeeyoda abahya hoyaday maba rabayo dad dance floor si xun ugu ciyaraya yacni ihtiraam walidka iyo ehelka aya mesha ka maqan wedding is not a club it is not about having fun with your friends i mean partly but it is more of a family thing a start of a new family and you surely dont wanna start in the wrong way..) and I am glad you guys understood me. For minute I thought i sounded unislamic there lool and did not want to be misunderstood..lool If you can afford it, do it, if you can't, use common sense. [smile] Adam, I don't think the girl was asking you to be her financial advisor but rather how she should go about organizing her party. With that been said mashallah you gave some good advice there..laakin who gets married without a wedding? I mean I seen ppl do that but really...wedding is a one night thing and its for you to cherish the rest of your life..something that you are entitled to have. Even the prophet csw said so...ma aqaan dadkan masaajida keena arooska? yacni wa fahmay meherka lagu qabto masjidka laakin gabadho masjid iskusoo aruuraya for a wedding? I think masaajido waa for worshipping. They should distinguish between the two. A girl and evne a guy deserve to spend some money and have a wedding okey maybe not spend too much but spend something..tan kale why rush? someone can just wait till they get their career in place...or at least marry mid iska shaqeesta oo aroos wacan ku dhigi kara.... Ladies you deserve a wedding. Never settle for "walaal meher uun baan dhigaya wanaa iskaka so xaresanaya"...waxa layidhi easy come easy go...ama ayeeyday say dhahdo nin raqiis kugu so xareestay barina wuu ka dhaqaajin. I know religiously aroosba aroosku kasii lacag yaryahay wuu ka khyr badanyahay laakin aroos ma dhigayo meher bas..shekadaas xita diinta ma ogola...gabadho yaana nili khiyaameen wa iga talo salaam

mabrouk caano iyo wiil.. I hope allah swt blesses your union. salaam

..So yes, whether you have your photo privacy setting for friends only, if your friend comments, it shows on their friends news feed! I tested that and that is not the case. Unless facebook acts up at times. Again, that idea doesnt sit well with me my friends' friends have nothing to do with me and dont need to see my pics if I set them to private (I mean that was the whole point of making it private)... ninkan dhakhtarka ahna miya laga hahaya Koolkat....maanto dhan wa quruxbadanyahay baaba ka bixi waydey lol salaaam

KK is right, if somebody comments on one of your pictures, that picture along your friend's comment will be posted on their wall which means their friends can see your picture. Keep in mind, ladies, your friends' friends can NOT view your pictures by randomly pulling up your profile if you set your privacy for the pics to "friends ONLY. So the two scenarios are different. I fail to see the difference walaal. If they can see my picture when our mutual friend commented on my pic then I dont see this whole privacy thing of setting up to just "friends". The only time a friend's comment of someone else's pic should come to your news feed is when those pictures are public or set "friend of friends".... Anyways, I honestly don't think that is the case I am going to test that point and if that is the case then I would advice people not to post their pics online. Ppl can def. misuse a pic.... salaam

Koolkat, if ur friends' friends will have access to your photos then the privacy thing would be pointless right.... tan kale profile pics should be private. I hated in the past how whenever I put a profile pic u would have tons of random adds from god knows where mostly from groups and some friends of friends who u careless about...and yeah ismalura you are right ppl you dont know can copy ur profile pic how creepy is that... as for this doctor he is successful and you are right koolkat he makes up for everything cuz of his success but he looks handsome anyways i was just joking earlier...qurux caqli ilaahay wa u dhameeyey asgaana mahad leh.. salaam

Aliyah, I did NOT go back to home to get hitched but again this isn't about me, this is about what is right for the starter of this thread. Adigaa isoo dhex galiyay markaa tiri "tan kale maxa dhacay?? ma kuwa badan baa ku goyey oo maanta shekadu waxay taaganahay farxiya iska soo xareeso caruur dhaldhal", taas uun baan ka jawaabayay. markaa walaalkaa waxaad ugu talinasa waxaad aduu naftaada aadan sameen...There is a hadith that goes love for your brother waht you love for yourself. marka wiilka ha waalin uma baahna mid africa joogta london ayaa gabadho wacan buuxaan..inshalah calafkisa wuu helaya.. sida iyo habeen wacan salaam

One can't always have control over the privacy settings as when your friends comment on your picture, it shows on the newsfeeds of their friends that they've commented on someone else's pic! if you set your photos to "friends" as oppose to "friend of friends" your friend's friend can not have access to it. Period. salaam p.s seen that photo before he is a doctor from mn right...looks alright...wa laga quruxbadanyahy laakin but xoga wa nin weyn maybe when he was younger he was hotter loool...bt gotta add mashallah...if only somali guys can inspire to follow his footsteps. As oppose to most of them wanting to be basketball player iyo rapper iyo wax loo joogin..

^ lol@ ka xarow mesha ..we are not talking abt here being single as oppose to being married. But, rather whether someone should go back home to get married. If you went back home to get married and you think it is the right thing to do and have first hand positive experience with it then by all means do advice this brother but I dont see it working 98% of the time you are just exception to the rule but then again u said few months hmmm we dont know what the future holds lol not to be pessimistic or anything inshallah khyr ill add u in my prayers..u can use some duca lol..... caano iyo wiil iyo gabadhna hambalyo... salaam

^ It is not important for the guy to be a doctor or a lawyer in particular. But, he needs to have a good profession to support and take care of his family. And, even if he is not there yet but inspiring to me xita wa wax dhan. Basically, someone who is working hard and knows that he has responsibilities. And, not just career but that you have things in common personality, likes and dislikes...someone you can relate to. not just any random person... tan kale maxa dhacay?? ma kuwa badan baa ku goyey oo maanta shekadu waxay taaganahay farxiya iska soo xareeso caruur dhaldhal...* u dont need to be so pessmisitc as to ohh marriage is just for having kids....kids are blessing from allah swt waana wax la jeclaado laakin guur oo dhan luguma saleen karo..they have their role/part.. Life will be worth it when you love ur husband/wife and your kids can see that..as oppose to tan waxa u guursaday in caruur dhasho uun..ur actions will speak louder believe me u cant hide when you are not attracted or love ur spouse..and that in turn will affect your kids... Sorry huuno we dont buy the whole thing of going back home and getting a spouse and this goes for both females and males. I seen in the past few girls who did that...I just don't see it working. Tan kale badana nimanka saa sameeyey waa kuwa qurbe faaido kulaheen..ma u maleesay markay somalia mid so khiyameeyaan in ay ogaaneen wuxu yahay..At first waa kii dabcan sharciga laha ee yaduba ku meel gadhasay laakin at the end bacda madow uun bay u tuuri... marka mesha jogtid ku qanac wa iga talo...somaliduna waxay dhahada qof wax ku siiye waad arki laakin qof nasixa ku siya ma badna salaam

what was I thinking saying I look like my ayeeyo warkii baanba ku dhameestiray lol Anyways, my point was if you take a kid who might have came from families who are not educated and you give him the right support and the right help you can produce a smart well rounded educated individual. Where likewise you can take a child from educated parents and who knows maybe isolate him and he probably can turn out dumb (not that it would be ethical to do such thing just hypothetical).. haye waan daynana laakin aan ku dayno environment baa labada si muhimsan hadii kale we would be doomed to believe that if someone is not smart then they can never get a smart child and thats one damn pessimistic theory... good night... salaam

marriage is not all about having kids. Even though true love happens after marriage there has to be something that u guys have in common (careers,goals etc) and that u are obviously attracted to each other.. at least that is my opinion. Also, what is a marriage if you are going to leave her in somalia and visiting her once every few months. That is not marriage in my book. But, if you plan to bring her to where you are and make it work..even then it is a little bit hard because you planned it like u went back for the simple reason to get a wife (like farxiya so doratay simply cuz she was the first lady that crossed ur path but if halimo or sucdi did then it wouldnt have made a darn difference lol)...I think you should just allow urself to find the right person...things happen when you leasst expect them.. salaam